Backsliding
by Joy12908
Summary: There is one who she belongs to, whose love there is no song for. And though she knows it's wrong, there is someone else she achingly longs for. Every heartbeat of hers spells his name, but she had made up her mind and she had taken vows. She had promised herself to Edward for all of eternity, but what will happen when Bella's heart keeps refusing her? *Timeline set after BD*
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Twilight Saga Series. While this story is my own, the characters portrayed within it's content are the sole property of the great STEPHANIE MEYERS. She owns them all.**

**CHAPTER ONE**

**(BPOV)**

I swirled the last of my red wine around in the crystal glass, seeing the color touch the edges as I stared up at the night sky. The stars were beautiful and the moon shown bright above me while I stood barefoot on the back porch. It was times of silence and solidarity like this when I could finally let my guard down and breathe a little easier. It had been five years since I'd married Edward and joined the Cullen Family. Since then we had moved to Dahlonega, Georgia and had cut ties with everyone from Forks, everyone but Charlie. He called to check in with me a few times a month and I was grateful to be able to hear his familiar voice and know that he was okay. Georgia was a state I had never been to before and the Cullen's had decided with it's ample rainfall throughout the year, settling down here would be best. With money being on endless supply, finding an elaborate home tucked up in the mountains took them no time. It was only a few short days before we were moving into a three story mansion, equipped with beautiful landscape, bountiful trails and a backyard winery. The place was elaborate and nothing less than I expected for their taste. I had to admit that it was stunning to watch the sun rise and set from our view here each day.

There was so much to see and do here in Dahlonega and the Cullens blended in with the other high society members of the town without much effort. There were several tourist attractions that we had visited, one of them quickly becoming a favorite of mine. Wolf Mountain Vineyards was located only a few miles from us and I often retreated there when Edward and the others took off for a needed weekend hunting trip. I didn't accompany them, because I didn't need to.

I had kept up my end of the deal and married Edward, knowing he would keep his word and change me soon after. I had clung to that promise of his for so many months, eager for it, craving a life with him that would last for eternity more, but as we settled into this new place, I found myself not wanting to leave my simplistic humanity behind. I struggled with the idea that I would never move forward in life again, but instead be forever frozen in time. The more I dwelled on it, the more I questioned why I had been so ready to throw my human life away so easily before. As the months went by, Edward had questioned why the sudden change in my desire to be like him, but never grew impatient with me for it. I knew deep down he had always been the one who wanted me to remain human as long as possible. He himself had voiced this to me before we got married more times than I could count. He seemed relieved even that I had seemingly had a change of heart.

I used my time wisely while exploring more of who I was. I took college courses and earned a bachelor's degree in communications, which led the way for me to start a career as an events coordinator. Edward, of course, found it needless that I work, but he reluctantly supported my aspirations nonetheless. My first interview turned out to be my dream job. I was elated when I got the call back from Wolf Mountain Vineyards and started my position only a week later. For the past two years I had loved every minute of my job with them, working a normal nine to five shift, five days a week. I found that my work didn't feel like work at all and I was eager to head in each morning.

Alice had been kind enough to take me out shopping with her, filling my oversized closet with enough business suit attire and pencil skirts to clothe the entire company. My hair had grown out to the longest it had ever been and when she insisted we make an appearance at the local salon, I was timid to say the least. The stylist was very kind and only trimmed the ends and added a few soft layers that framed my face. The end result gave me newfound confidence and when I arrived for work the next day, I walked in with my head held high and more than ready to do the job. Edward had wished me good luck and gifted me with an expensive black briefcase and a new MacBook Air. His smile rueful when he told me to "take the world by storm," as I climbed into the luxury car he had purchased for us last Fall. He knew I couldn't stand the look of it, feeling like a shiny spectacle all the time in town, but he insisted it was the safest ride for me. I would simply roll my eyes, thinking of all the ways money like this could be spent elsewhere.

I had planned and scheduled at least thirty different events held there just in the last year alone. Everything from large coperate business dinners, and high end meetings, to anniversary parties and weddings. I had seen and experienced so many new things thanks to this job. I worked with great people and they all made me feel part of the team with them.

My days had been filled with scheduling and planning and most of the time, it was enough to occupy my thoughts, enough to keep my mind from wandering back to the places it shouldn't. But then there were times like this, times when the silence of the night and the emptiness of the too big house became more than I could take. My heart would betray me and down memory lane I would go, thinking back to the last time when the smile on my face didn't feel forced or rehearsed.

I'm dancing with him again, being lifted in the air like I was weightless and forgetting that brides are only supposed to smile that wide at their new husbands, not at their best friends. But the way he looked. The way his arms had caught me. The way my heart felt as if it would leap from my chest every time I saw his returning smile. The way my body warmed when his chin rested on my shoulder. Our dance feeling more like goodbye than any form of reunion or celebration. After all, that's what it was... a formal goodbye.

I shivered as the early September wind whirled around me, my eyes trained on the empty wine glass clutched in my left hand, seeing the elaborate wedding ring Edward had placed there that day. The glow from the moon touched the diamond and it sparkled brilliantly as I reached for the wine bottle and refilled my glass. It wasn't long before the chill of the air forced me to retreat back inside. I wandered up the winding stair case into our master bathroom and drew a hot bath, my lips greedily seeking the rim of the glass and polishing off the rest of the third glass now. My body warmed and my head spun as I stripped down out of my clothes and sunk into the many bubbles rimming the tubs edge. I was a lightweight when it came to any form of alcohol and red wine was no exception. Only a few glasses in and I was ready to call it a night. This had been my way of taking the sting out of some of my thoughts when they wouldn't shut up and leave me alone. When they were too loud for my liking. Despite my best effort, they would always return the next time the silence became too much and would leave me unable to sleep for days. This viscous cycle had gone on for years now and at first, no one noticed, but Alice was too observant and she had caught on fast that something was eating away at me, bit by bit. She had cornered me one evening after I pushed away my full plate of food and headed upstairs for bed. She cut me off before I got there and begged me to tell her what had me so bothered lately. I tried to deny that there was anything wrong, but she knew better. Our confrontation forced me to tell her the truth and since then she had been secretly keeping tabs on him. I knew it was wrong in every sense of the word, but I couldn't help it, I needed to know that he was okay. That the damage I had done hadn't broken him beyond repair.

Alice made annual trips back to Washington, checking in on Charlie as well and always reporting back to me when she returned. She would tell me how he was still phasing and that she couldn't risk getting too close but she gathered all the info on him she could while she was there. Most the reports back to me were good and they made me smile for him, but the last trip Alice had made this past Summer had been different. I knew the moment she pulled her porsche into the yard by the look on her face that something had changed back home.

"He's not there anymore." She reluctantly told me, her golden gaze wide with confusion.

"What- what do you mean? He's-..."

"Gone from Washington, Bella. I don't know where he is."

I felt a profound emptiness creep in around me as I tried to understand what she was saying.

"Where would he-...?"

"I'm not sure." She meekly replied. "Billy is still there but there was no sign of Jacob. His room was empty. I had to leave fast. I was afraid they would hunt me if I didn't go. You know how keen their senses are. It was a huge risk for me to even cross over the border into La'Push. Next time, I may not be so lucky. I have to be cautious."

"Do you think he knows?" I nervously asked.

"I've covered every track I could, but it is possible they've discovered I've been making regular trips back. We knew the risk was always there, Bella. Sooner or later, the pack was bound to find out."

I had wracked my brain in the weeks after that, trying to think of a reason he would simply pick up and relocate. His entire world was anchored in La'Push with Billy and the pack. He had an obligation to them and was tied there for it. I knew he would never neglect that lightly and try as hard as I did not to, I couldn't help but silently wonder if the day had finally come where he had found his imprint. A pull and devotion like that would force him to go where she was, as hard as that would be for him.

I foolishly thought of what she could look like, if her hair was long or short, or if she had tan skin like Jacobs or pale like my own. If her smile would brighten a room the way his always had. If her eyes were brown, hazel, or maybe even blue. Would she care for him the way he needed, the way he deserved? Would she be there when the duties of pack life became too heavy for his shoulders to carry? Would she love him recklessly, in a way that forced rules to be broken?

I pressed the near empty wine glass to my cheek, feeling the coolness from it touch my skin as I watched the steady stream of hot water pour from the gold spout. I sunk a little further down into the steamy bath water, relaxing against the back of the oversized tub and trying to push away the memories of how warm Jacobs embrace had always been. How I had come to miss them now.

When I left Forks for my honeymoon after the wedding, his broken howl was the last thing I heard and it shattered me in ways I hadn't been ready for. Saying goodbye to Charlie and Renee, and all my friends had been hard, but nothing compared to the desperate look on Jacobs face before he took off into the woods with Sam and the others. It had kept me awake more nights than I could count and had been the source of my nightmares. Even after all this time, I could still hear his angry words when he shouted them to Edward.

_"Are you crazy! Huh- you'll kill her!"_

I finished the last sip of wine and got out of the tub, wrapping the white silk robe around my slim frame and wandering down the spacious hall to the vacant study. I pulled out my laptop and stared at the welcome screen, trying to focus on the work I still had to do. I loathed the empty feeling that kept me awake well past midnight when Edward and the others were gone. I soon gave up on the budgeting work my preoccupied mind wouldn't allow me to finish and headed downstairs to the living room, aimlessly flipping through endless channels on the monstrous sized flat screen Carlisle had purchased last month. Despite the many late night shows and movies on at this hour, I found nothing that peeked my interest and tossed the remote aside, curling myself into the sofa with a blanket.

When sleep finally took me, I dreamed of him and just as I always did, I woke up at dawn with tears in my eyes and a heart that felt broken.

**A/N: Hello everyone! :-) I am so excited to start this new story and share it with you all! Please review and tell me your thoughts! Thank you so much! There will be regular updates posted!**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

**(BPOV)**

I pushed open the double glass doors, swinging them wide to let the abundant sunshine in and to hear the birds chirping away in the forest, signaling the start of a brand new day just beginning. My eyes squinted, still heavy with sleep as I let the soft blanket draped over my shoulders fall to the floor. I inhaled the fresh morning mountain air, catching the woodsy pine scent that tugged even more on the strings of my unstable heart. I ran my hands through my thick locks, sweeping them around to one shoulder and gazing out at the tree tops now covered in a light mist from the dense morning fog. The sound of the coffee pot turning on in the kitchen made me know it was already nearing seven and that I had to hurry and head into town. I had thrown together a rather lengthy grocery list before Edward had left, knowing we were out of food and that while their appetites didn't require such basic things, mine still did.

I poured myself a hot cup of coffee and rushed to get dressed, throwing on an oversized cream colored sweater and some faded jeans. I hurriedly piled my hair into a messy bun on top of my head and stalked toward the front door. As disheveled as my appearance was when I stepped outside, I felt more like me this way then when I dressed up for work. My face was bare of any makeup, except for the finest coat of mascara and some chap stick. It occurred to me when I hit the unlock button to the Rolls-Royce parked haphazardly in the drive, that I missed the simplistic things from back home far more than I thought I did. The Royce was fancy for sure, it's interior clean enough to eat off of and it's genuine leather seating more comfortable than any other ride I had been in, but as nice as the luxury car was, I would have gladly traded it in for another. Something far more basic, easy and less showy. Something more my style and taste. Something like... my old red truck... or Jacobs restored rabbit. I paused where I was from the thought, my thumb pressing down firmly on the key fob and hearing the engine rev to life with just the touch of a button. I smiled when I pondered what Jacobs reaction to a car like this would've been had he seen it, how his led foot would no doubt end up costing him a hefty ticket or two.

I shifted the car in gear and coasted easily out of the long winding driveway, only getting about two miles up the road before the sound of my cell ringing next to me forced me to hit the brakes and reach for it. The name on the screen making me smile wide when I greeted him.

"Hey dad, you're up early."

"Early bird catches the worm, kiddo." He teased back. "Been up since six!"

"Did you eat breakfast?" I countered, well knowing the answer before he offered it up.

"Does two large cups of coffee count?"

"No- definitely not."

"Hey, a bachelor has to do what a bachelor has to do. I miss your good home cooking about as much as I miss you, Bella."

I winced at the sincere longing in his tone, feeling the inevitable anxiety well up on the inside of me while he tried to coax me into coming back home for a weekend visit soon. He did this every time we talked and every time I would find stupid excuses to deter the conversation, knowing it crushed him to hear them.

"Dad...-"

"I know, I know. You're a busy business woman now and I'm damn proud of you. I really am. Doesn't mean a dear old dad can't miss his little girl every now and then."

"I miss you too." I replied, my voice thicker now from the emotion I swallowed back. There was a long and thoughtful pause on the other end, as Charlie caught this and I knew I needed to let him go before the flood gates opened and ran a rush out over us both today.

"Bella, listen... far be it for me to pry, or meddle but I gotta tell ya'- if-... If it's Jake-... If he's the reason you're not coming back to visit and why you haven't been back here for a single holiday in five years now, you don't have to worry about seeing him in town like before. He's not really around these parts like he used to be."

I slowed the car down, glancing in my rearview and pulling into the market plaza to park as he quietly awaited my response.

Charlie and I rarely ever discussed Jacob. Not since the wedding. He knew not to. Whether it was out of the respect he tried to have for my marriage to Edward, or out of wanting to avoid the obvious awkwardness of the whole thing at all costs, I couldn't be sure, but I was thankful to him for his silence on the matter either way. He had reserved himself in our talks to only bring up Billy when I asked about him first and he always kept it short when mentioning him. He also promised he wouldn't talk about me to Billy more than he had to. I knew this was asking a lot of him. Truth was, it did something to me when I heard him speak of Billy, because to me, Jacob and Billy were a pair. Where one was, the other followed and that meant that the mere mention of him would cause my mind to go _there_ again. To a dangerous place it shouldn't cross into. _To his smile... To his warm hand capturing my own... To his dark gaze boring into me from across the room and reading my every thought, worry, or care with that one damn look._

I put the car in park and turned it off, hoping Charlie would drop the issue the way he always had in the past, but this time, he seemed relentless to keep it going.

"Bella? You there?" Charlie hedged, the silence leaving him to believe we had somehow been disconnected. I felt horrible for even contemplating it, but as truly awful and cowardly as it sounded, right now, I wanted to hang up and pretend just that. I forced myself not to take that road and drew in a steadying breath before replying.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"I thought I lost ya." He sighed, his tone full of care now. "I know it's a sore subject. You and him. But it's been a while now, kiddo. People change and -..."

His pause of thought was sudden and it made my heart clench as I asked the question that had been on my mind since Alice told me he was gone from Washington last month.

"...-move on? Is that- w-what you mean by change, dad? Is what why he left La'Push last month?"

The reckless and honest words left my mouth in a rush before I could stop them. My stupid heart making me fumble over them like a fool and not think twice before I spoke.

_Shit..._

"He didn't leave-... wait-... How do you know when he left, Bella? I never mentioned that to you and we haven't spoken since-..."

"I guess I just... -thought that maybe by now he had moved on." I harshly interjected, lying horribly and trying to make my explanation sound somewhat believable to him.

There was another uncomfortable pause on his end and I knew his mind was already starting to try and work this whole thing out. He was a cop through and through after all. That was his job and he was damn good at it. He would sniff out my lie even being this far away from him. Charlie didn't have to see my reddened face to know I was attempting to feed him a line of bullshit to save my own sorry ass and keep the image of my life that I had carefully painted for him all this time in tact.

"I wouldn't call what he's done moving on, Bella." Charlie clarified, his tone pained and full of a hidden meaning that made me clutch my keys so tight in my hand, I was almost sure they would leave a mark in my palm.

"What-..."

"Nevermind, we don't talk about him when we have these check in chats of ours, right?"

I flinched at the sound of his hardened tone, my eyes welling up as I glanced around at the full parking lot, seeing a man next to me climb out of his truck and open the door for his wife and son. He scooped up his boy with a wide grin and reached out for his wife's hand while they casually strolled toward the front of the market. I blinked back the tears that tried to spill and shook my head, clearing it and regaining my focus again.

"Dad, I have to go. I love you always. I'll call you next week, okay?"

"Hey, wait a minute. Just hold on a second. I didn't mean to make you upset. I-I'm sorry, kiddo. Alright? Please don't hang up with me, yet. I just- I miss you, Bella."

I struggled to speak upon hearing his earnest response. My emotions already feeling raw.

"I know, dad. I miss you just as much. I'm sorry, I-..."

"Don't be sorry. I know you have a new life out there in Georgia. I tell everyone here in town and at the station just how well you're doing at the Wolf Mountain Vineyards."

"Thanks, dad."

"You're welcome. I brag about you any chance I get. I was just showing one of our new rookies here some of your wedding pictures and the picture Edward sent me of the Rolls-Royce he got you. That's a nice car. You be careful out there driving it. Safety first."

"It's obnoxious and too much for me." I confessed, wiping at the tears and climbing out of the car to head inside. "I really miss my old truck."

"Are you serious!? That old thing! Would've never guessed that." Charlie chuckled, unaware of how much I longed to have it back now. "Well, you'd be glad to know I didn't take it to the junk yard like I said I was going to a few years ago. That thing is still in the yard at home. I hadn't mentioned anything to you before cause I didn't think you'd want to hear about it, but Jake spent all last Summer rebuilding the engine again for it. The old thing had sat for so long that I was more than ready to heave it for scrap metal and parts, but he heard I was thinking of junking it and poured hours into restoring it. He gave it a new paint job, too. I never asked him to do any of it, Bella. I even offered to pay the poor boy for his labor and asked him to take it to the Reservation. I was thinking he could sell it and get some money out of it. Maybe receive some compensation for all his effort but he wouldn't hear of it and he never took a dime. Stubborn just like his old man in that way, I suppose."

I stopped where I stood, lingering just inside the markets entry way as his words caused the cell in my hand to shake.

I could barely form a one word reply to him then. "Why..."

"Oh, I don't know, Bella. He muttered something to me before he left about how he wanted that truck to be here for you just in case you ever did come back home. You know, for a visit. Maybe he just wanted you to have a little something waiting for you if you did. Something of your own?"

I pressed my back against the cool wall, leaning on it for support and ignoring the many worried onlookers whose attention I had caught as a result.

"Yeah, Maybe." I muttered, thinking of how loaded his last comment had been.

_To have a little something waiting for you if you did come back again..._

I stared down at the wedding band on my left hand, shaking my head at this. I already had something waiting for me back in Washington or at least I did until last month.

"Don't worry. I won't get rid of it on ya'. I promise. It'll be here."

"Promise me? Really? You won't? I still want it, dad."

Jacob had rebuilt that truck again for me with his bare hands. He was woven all through it. Every metal piece he had fit accordingly to its needed repair so it could run right. He had put his own blood and sweat into the restoration of something he knew held significant value for me, without even knowing where I was or if I was still human. I had asked Charlie not to tell him anything about my life with Edward in Georgia and he had agreed that just like with Billy, it was for the best to keep things that way. At the time, I hadn't known I would cling to my humanity the way I had for the past five years instead of eagerly embracing the change Edward himself had promised me. How things had changed. I felt my face heat then as a vivid memory of him and I hunkered down on the stairs at the movies years ago, came back to me while I tried to picture him fixing that truck.

_"Im not like a car you can fix- I'm never gonna run right."_

_"Well, I've got loads of time and I'm not giving up."_

I hung my head in shame of myself, staring down at the white tile floor below me.

Jacob was completely clueless and I'd been the one who had wanted it to stay that way so he could have his chance at happiness. His well deserved chance at a good life with someone who was worthy of him. A woman who would return his love and affection with equal passion like he had. All this time I had left him in the blinding dark. He didn't know that I was _still me_. Still two left feet, ordinary and blushing Bella. In his mind, he had buried that girl. To him, she didn't exist anymore. She was dead. She was gone and replaced by one of the cold ones he was born to destroy. Born to hate. Born to protect his land and people from.

"Yeah, Bella. I promise you. I won't touch it. Can stay right there in the front yard as long as you want it to." Charlie replied, his voice pulling me away from my memories and thoughts while forcing me back to the present.

I nodded, and recognized the perplexed tone in Charlie's voice when he said this. I was failing at pretending and I could feel the unsettling pull to_ him_ start to grip me, as I stood there blankly staring at the many faces around me. I must look lost or confused to them. Little did they know, I felt so much of both right now.

"Thank you." I finally replied to Charlie in a relieved breath.

"Course, kiddo. You know, I meant to ask you last time we talked, how are things with you and Edward? Are you two still planning to start a family soon?"

My chest tightened painfully as I thought of how casually I had mentioned that to him when we spoke a few weeks ago. I regretted that choice more than ever right now. His seemingly harmless question was proving to be what would push me over the edge. I had said it to him as a way to change the topic of our conversation when he had asked again when I was coming back to Forks for a visit, not knowing he would cling to it the way he had. It had been beyond stupid and selfish of me. I plainly saw that now. Of course he would hold onto it. Charlie may not be the most in touch person with his feelings all the time, but I knew he loved me and the idea of having a grandchild one day to spoil and teach new things to.

"Um-... I'm not sure if the timing is right at the moment." I replied, speaking at least half of the truth to him.

The timing was off because there was no timing for that and there never would be. Giving up children had been part of the package deal when it came to losing my humanity one day. Something I had known would have to be sacrificed if I wanted to live forever with Edward and the Cullen's. Only recently had the idea of never holding a baby of my own one day haunted my nightmares nearly as much as Jacob had. The dreams I had were too real for my liking and they left me craving a future I knew I had already given up. Far more upsetting for me than the dreams and nightmares themselves was the fact that Jacob was in every one of them, always appearing in one form or another. Wolf or man and sometimes even both in the same dream. The last one I had happened the night before Alice returned to inform me Jacob was no longer residing in Washington. I was much older in this dream, my hair longer and grey in color and my eyes red rimmed as I looked into Jacobs aged face. I laid with him in his bed, his pack mates surrounding us all as he took his last few breaths, his final words to me permanently placed in my mind. "_You're still my Bells and I still love you. I've always loved you. I wish more than anything it had been enough - that we'd been enough for you- that you'd let me love you the way I wanted to before we ran out of time, honey.__"_

His dark gaze was full of so much pain as he died and I awoke then with a start, unable to catch my breath with a scream barely escaping me before I stifled it. Nightmares such as these chased me down no matter where I was or how much I made a conscious effort not to think of _him._

"Well, that's alright. You're still plenty young enough to wait a little while longer if that's what you want. Bella, are you alright? You sound different... -off" Charlie asked, his direct question becoming too much for me to ward off in the moment. The color drained from my face and I felt my resolve slip further.

"I'm fine. I have to go, dad. Really, I do. Call you again soon. Love you." I swiftly ended the call then, not giving him a chance to change my mind about hanging up again. My heart couldn't take anymore. It was shattering in ways I didn't know was possible. In ways that didn't make any sense.

I made my choice five years ago. I had chosen this life. I walked down the aisle to Edward and married him. Took vows before our friends and family. He had given me the life I thought I wanted. Had made dreams of mine come true that I had never known were possible on my own. Why wasn't that enough anymore? What the hell was wrong with me? Who the hell was I? Why didn't I recognize myself anymore and why did I feel like I didn't belong all the time?

I was longing for a change. A change I never thought I would long for.

I soon wandered aimlessly through the endless food aisles, grabbing only what I knew I needed and long since forgetting all about the prior list I had made. I silently observed the many families shopping alongside me, their carts rounded over with grocery like items and each of them having children in the front whose arms reached out for their mother's and for other items they could grasp along the way. I watched as a father, hoisted his young son onto his shoulders, causing the boy to squeal in delight when he did so. The mother stopped and smiled at them both and it was easy to see that they were her entire world with just that one glance. I picked up my shopping basket and turned to head for the checkout when a little girl suddenly bumped into my leg. I backed away, apologizing for almost knocking her over when she reached up her arms for me, her brown eyes trusting as if she'd known me for years.

"Are you lost, sweetie?" I asked, kneeling down in front of her to be at her eye level.

She nodded with tears looming in her eyes. "I don't know where my mommy is."

She was so little and couldn't have been more than four years old.

"Don't worry, we'll find her." I gently assured her, taking her by the hand and leading her down the long aisle to search for her mother.

"What's your name?" She timidly asked me along the way.

"My name is Bella. What's your name?"

"Catherine." She replied, pausing to look around us again.

"That's a beautiful name."

"Thank you." She softly replied, her voice so small in comparison to everyone close by.

With her bottom lip trembling, she reached her arms up for me again and I couldn't refuse her. I set my basket down and began to walk through every aisle, hoping her mother would soon turn up.

"How old are you Catherine?" I asked, trying to keep her occupied in the meantime.

"I'm four and a half years old." She replied, her tiny hands wrapping themselves around the ends of my hair and twirling it. "You're pretty."

"Thank you. So are you."

I stared down into her sweet face, seeing the dried tracks of her scared tears just as a frantic women rounded the corner and met me.

"Oh, Catherine!" She breathlessly exclaimed. "There you are! I've been looking for you all over the store and was so worried. Are you alright?"

I smiled and abruptly handed her over, seeing the relieved expression her mother wore.

"I'm okay mama. Bella helped me find you." Catherine tried to explain.

"Thank you so much for finding her and keeping her safe with you. I turned my back for just a split second and when I looked down again, she was gone."

"You're welcome. I'm so glad you found her. Take care you two." I sincerely replied, reaching out to shake her hand and wave goodbye to sweet Catherine as they headed out of the store. I saw the still shaken woman tightly cradle her while they ran out into the parking lot together and I couldn't help but smile at the happy ending for the two of them. I knew as the daughter of a cop that things could've turned out much differently given the world we live in today.

I soon returned home with my few bags of groceries in tow and filled the cupboards with enough food to last me through the weekend until the Cullen's returned from their trip. I hastily popped the top of the Sangria bottle and poured myself a full glass, lighting the fire to ward off the early evening chill that had settled in now. The flames rose high and licked up the stone walls with vigor while I gazed at it's alluring glow. My mind raced as I recalled sweet Catherine, feeling her arms hold tight to me and wishing that someday I would feel my own daughters arms take hold of me in the same way. I got to my feet, searching for my cell and grabbing it off the counter when I spotted it nearby, my hands trembling while I nervously paced back and forth in front of the fireplace.

I was alone for the weekend. There was still time... right?

I dialed the number on the keypad that I had come to know by heart for years now, my breathing shallow as I waited for someone to answer on the other end.

One ring...

_He may not even be home._

Two rings...

_This was foolish. I hadn't talked to him in years. What would I say?_

Three rings...

_Would he even want to hear from me after all this time? Would he hang up on me? Was the number still the same? _

Four rings...

_He could've had the number changed a long time ago. I should end the call. What was I doing!?_

Five rings...

_It's for the best I not speak to him._

Six rings...

_I'm just gonna hang up. I should have never-_

"Hello, Black residence."

...

**A/N: You guys are awesome! Thank you so much for your kind reviews! I hope you all like this lengthy chapter update despite the late hour! :-) Please tell me your thoughts in a review and as always... HAPPY READING & until next time!**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

**(BPOV)**

I placed a hand over my mouth, gasping when I heard the voice on the other end repeat himself. It had been years since I'd heard it and the familiar sound sent a jolt through me.

"Hello? Listen, I'm sorry but I don't want whatever it is you're selling today so don't bother wasting your time. I'm simply not interested. Have a nice night."

He took my silence as a sign that it must have been a telemarketer calling him. I forced myself to speak up then, afraid that if I didn't he would simply hang up and not answer when I tried again.

"Billy, it-it's me... Bella."

A pin drop could have been heard by the silence that filtered through the line right after I said this. I held my breath, squeezing my eyes shut and waiting for the dreaded sound of dead air when he would inevitably hang up on me, but to my surprise and relief, that wasn't his response.

"My goodness sweet girl. How l've missed hearing your voice calling here."

I let out the breath I had been holding in and sunk down on the brickwork lining the fireplace, my vision blurry from the tears that welled up in my eyes upon hearing his unexpected greeting to me.

"I've missed hearing your voice too, Billy." I confessed.

"It's been too long, dear. Far too long. I've tried to pry some info about how things are for you these days from your old man every now and again, but he seems pretty tight lipped about it all."

Guilt hit me hard at the clear sound of saddened disappointment in his welcoming tone.

"I-... I'm sorry about that, Billy. I just-"

"Don't you worry about it. I know you had good reasons for asking him to keep hush about some things."

"How did you know I-"

"Oh, Bella, I've been best friends with your dad for too many years now not to know when he is keeping a lid on something purposefully. Your dad is a lot of things, but a hard read has never been one of them. He's not one to keep a good poker face."

I nodded in understanding, tucking my hands into the thick oversized sleeves of my sweater and knowing how right he was about Charlie.

"I didn't mean it to be hurtful." I thoughtfully added.

"I know you didn't because I know you, dear. You're not hurtful. It's not in your nature. Never has been."

I cringed, hearing the sincerity he spoke this with and knowing what a huge lie it was. His son had been there for me when I felt at my lowest. He was the one who mended the shattered pieces of me Edward had once left behind. Billy was being too kind and gracious to me and I felt unworthy of it all. I had ripped out his sons heart, greedily taking it for myself and never looking back. I hated the kind of selfish person that made me.

"How have you been? How's everyone back in La'Push?" I asked, trying to steer the discussion in a brighter direction.

"Everyone is doing well here, Bella. Sue is still on the reservation with Leah and Seth. Leah just started another year at College and I think Seth will be following fast in her footsteps before too long. She's been pursuing a career in physical therapy. This will be her fourth year in College. Sue still comes over to keep me and your father company a few times a week and she always brings a nice dinner with her, too. Your dad has put on nearly twenty pounds this Summer from all her good cooking." I smiled wide at this, stifling the small chuckle that tried to leave me while he continued. "...but you know Sue, she cooks up a storm. I think between her and Emily, they could feed the town. They sure do a great job keeping the pack fed. Emily always asks about you. Wonders how you're doing since the wedding and all."

"Things have been good, Billy. I work with a nice company and enjoy being here."

"Yeah, the Wolf Mountain Winery, right? Is that the name of it? That much I did manage to get out of your dad, but I had to pry that out of him like pulling teeth as it was." Billy chuckled, the mere sound reminding me so much of Jacob's hearty laughter that it felt as if what was left of my heart would crumble and scatter away like dust at any moment.

"I do like it there a lot. The scenery is breathtaking and never disappoints the tourist."

"That's good, Bella. I'm glad you're getting along well there. I'm sure you have a lot of people who depend on you?"

"Yes, I do. It can be a bit daunting at times, but I love my work."

"That's the best kind of work to have. The kind you love and the kind that doesn't feel like work at all. So, tell me dear, what else do you love about Georgia?"

"Well, there's a lot of tourist attractions here. A few nice museums and several other winery's in town and the mountains here are stunning to see when the sun rises and sets."

"You say that like you get to see such sights often?"

"I do, Billy. Every day. It's one of the best things about being here."

Billy grew quiet then, his lingering pause making me worry I had somehow said something wrong without being aware of it.

"You sound content, Bella. That's great to hear. I've been hoping all this time that you found everything you were searching for."

I nodded, slowly drawing my bottom lip into my mouth as I hesitated to reply. He thought I sounded good and that's what I wanted him to think... wasn't it?

"I'm so glad you answered tonight, Billy. I wasn't sure if anyone would be home."

"... -or who would answer?" He kindly finished for me, my eyes closing as he pulled the words straight out of my mouth.

"... that too."

"Did you call here in the hopes Jacob would be the one to pick up instead of me?"

I let out a heavy sigh as I stood and began to wear a hole in the wooden floor beneath me. I paced back and forth, debating on how I should answer him.

"No-... yes- I mean- I-... I don't know, Billy." I truthfully offered, glancing outside to see the bright moon now risen high in the starlit sky, it's glow casting shadows on the ground from the dense tree cover below.

Billy heard the heavy doubt and hesitation in my tone and his response made me only miss Jacob all the more.

"Bella, for what it's worth, he would've taken your call."

I fought the stinging tears that formed in my eyes at his words and struggled to speak now. I opened my mouth and closed it several times, trying to say what was on my heart but unable to find the right words.

"...Really? You think he would have-"

"I know he would have, Bella. No doubt there, sweet girl."

I turned toward the large bay window in the living room, sensing the longing creep in around me to just talk to him, to hear his voice. What I wouldn't give...

"I wish I'd called him before now, Billy. I should have-..."

"I think he waited for that for a long time. Maybe too long if I'm being honest. He knew better, Bella. But that didn't mean he still didn't want things to be different."

I swallowed hard and blinked back more tears as I pictured him silently waiting for a call that never came from me. I bit back the reply that hung just on the tip of my tongue now, knowing what I would be revealing to Billy and to myself if I spoke it out loud. It would only confirm that Jacob had been right all along. My admission had nothing to do with me wanting to be right or win out. Instead, it had far more to do with the ruins I knew it had the potential to stir up for everyone involved, myself included.

"...Billy, I...- I-..."

He sighed on the other end, sensing the tension and conflict over what I was about to say.

"There's another reason you called tonight, isn't there? More than just wanting to check in after all this time? You know I'm here to listen if there is something you need to say, Bella. Seems to me like something's troubling you?'

He still knew me just as well as he used to when I was a mere child and I felt a strange sense of comfort from it.

"I don't hide it very well, do I?"

"No, but that's alright, dear. We all have things on our minds that we need to get off our chest every once in a while. So tell me, what's bothering you?"

My mind wars with me when the silence settles over the line and I find it hard to know where I should start or if I should even say anything at all.

"I'm supposed to be happy with my life the way it is, right? I'm the one who wanted it this way." I began, wiping away the tears that fall as I bare my soul to him. "...but I don't know why I feel like this."

"Like what, dear?" Billy hedged, his tone taking on a softness with me I had never heard.

"...like I don't belong. Like I'm an outsider in my own skin sometimes. I have new friends I've made here and Edward and his family, of course, but I feel unsettled and I don't know why or what's wrong with me. I have a nice job and all the finer things money can buy. Things that any other person would dream of, Billy, and it should be enough, shouldn't it?"

There was yet another long pause before he answered me, his words touching my soul when he finally spoke them.

"I don't think happiness should ever be defined by life experiences or possessions. Those things are temporary. They wear and fade and they never satisfy someones being, Bella. At the heart of a person, there's very little that sparks a real passion for something or someone and finding it can be hard. Holding onto it can be even harder. That's what determines someones happiness in my opinion. It's the things that occupy someones thoughts when the busy day is done and it's just them with the silence of the night. The thoughts that tend to disturb sleep and cause someone to stay awake because of the restlessness it creates in them. A wandering soul, some might even say. Being content is a blessing when you have it. Most often, people search for it for years and they try to secure it in other things."

I glanced at the clock on the far wall, reading the time to be almost eleven and caught the double meaning behind his last statement.

"I'm sorry, Billy. I didn't realize how late it was. Time got away from me I guess. I'll let you go now so you can get some rest."

"No worries there, dear. I don't tend to sleep as well as I used to anyway. You're no trouble at all. It's been nice catching up with you."

"Yes it has." I replied, grabbing the long afghan from off the beck of the leather sofa closest to the fireplace and curling in on the cushions there.

"Bella, can I ask you something?" Billy soon thoughtfully inquired.

"Of course."

"What is your own definition of happiness?"

I tucked my free hand further in the afghan now draped over me, my fingers working over the soft yarn patterns while I tried to answer him honestly.

"I don't know anymore, Billy. I know that probably sounds ridiculous."

"No, I'd say it sounds truthful and as human as it can get."

"I thought I knew what I wanted with my life but now I'm so empty all the time."

"I know that feeling well, dear. When my Sarah died, she took such a large part of me with her that I've never really found another place for my soul to be. No other could ever take her place, not that given the fair opportunity they wouldn't try, but I figure why waste my time and someone else's when I know already that it would never be enough."

His mention of Jacobs mother made me think of how her death had crushed him when he was only a boy. How much he still needed her when she had gone away forever.

"I'm so sorry that she's no longer here with you, Billy."

"Me too, Bella. Me too. Doesn't seem possible she's been gone as long as she has now. Time sure has a way of escaping us, doesn't it?"

"Yes it does." I replied, thinking back to my most recent dream of Jacob and how time had been our worst enemy.

"I hope I'm not being too nosy when I ask this, but does Edward know you're calling here?"

"...no- he's not with me right now. He and the rest of the family are- out of town this weekend." I eluded the truth for Billy's benefit, knowing he didn't want to hear about their hunting trip.

"Ah, I see. Why aren't you with them?"

"I had no need to accompany them." I replied, sensing that he could tell I wasn't being completely truthful.

"I'm glad you don't_ need_ to go along."

Billy was smart, he always had been and he always knew far more than he was ever willing to let on.

"I am too."

"Why don't you come back to Washington this weekend, Bella? See some of your old friends who may still be in Forks? Your dad would be thrilled. I know that much. You never know a trip home could do you some good, may even refresh your spirit some."

I watched the fire begin to dim out as I pondered this, my heart tugging relentlessly at me to heed his advice, but my head telling me I knew better than to return right now. That absolutely no good would come from my impromptu visit.

"I've thought about it so many times before and I wish I could, but I can't."

"You say that to me but I don't hear the words, I hear the way you say them. Your tone says something else, Bella."

He was right and I hated myself for being vulnerable enough with him in our conversation that he could sense that about me.

"It's not that I don't want to-"

"Then come home, Bella. If only for a few short days. Charlie sure misses you and he's not the only one around here."

I closed my eyes and knew who he was referring to, my breath hitching at the mere thought of seeing Jacob again.

"The weekend is half over anyway." I bemused, trying to convince him, or myself, that going back to Forks wasn't the best choice right now. I knew myself well enough to know that my betraying heart would undoubtedly lure me back to that little red house again and I wouldn't be able to stay away even if I tried.

"Nonsense, it's Labor Day weekend. That means you get an extra day off, right? Doesn't the company you work for in Georgia honor that holiday?" He countered.

"... they do... yes." I replied, forgetting all about the date on the Calendar and the fact that this indeed was a holiday weekend. He had me there and he knew it, too.

"Well, alright then. Pack a small bag and fire up that Rolls Royce of yours and come home, Bella. I'm sure there's still some flights available and I hear it's supposed to be great weather for any kind of travel this weekend. I think it sounds like a great idea. The reservation is holding their annual Labor Day BBQ on Sunday evening. Starts at five and goes all night most times. You could stop by with Charlie?"

I felt my stomach flip at the thought of seeing the members of the pack again after everything. Some of them, like Paul and Leah, not being some of my biggest fans in the past.

"Billy, I...-"

"I know you're worried about the pack and what they think, but I assure you, none of them speak bad of you. They know better."

The seriousness in his last few words made me sit up straight and lean forward, my eyes flickering back to the barely lit embers in the fire.

"They know better?" I meekly asked, hearing Billy clear his throat anxiously before answering me.

"I said what I said, dear. They do know better."

I let out a breath and felt my heart hammer wildly against my chest at the meaning behind his dismissive reply.

They knew better because Jacob was still phasing and if he had claimed his rightful role of Alpha since I'd left, that meant his orders got obeyed whether they wanted to or not.

I shook my head, glancing out to see the trees swaying harshly in the wind. If I went, Edward would be upset with me. It would place a strain on him and he would worry. He couldn't know and if I hid it from him that meant Alice couldn't know either. I would have to be back before they returned home.

Damn it...

"I don't want to cause any trouble."

"You wouldn't."

I ran my hand through my hair, disbelieving that I was even contemplating this. How stupid could I be? Jacob wasn't even there at Billy's anymore. I might not get to see him at all... did I really want to?

"Okay Billy. You win." I relented. "I'll come back but just for the long weekend. Please don't tell anyone. Especially dad. I want it to be a surprise for him."

"You have my word, sweet girl. I look forward to seeing you. Be safe on your travel here."

"I will and I'll let you know when I'm on my way. Thanks for everything, Billy."

I felt the breath leave my lungs then as a voice from the background suddenly filtered in through the line. One that ripped me out of my messed up thoughts and stole my attention entirely. The sound of it making me freeze right where I stood.

_"It's late, dad. I'm turning in for the night. I'll see you in the morning."_

I couldn't move or utter a single sound as the voice faded further away and Billy spoke his final thought before ending the call.

"Please come home. We'll be here waiting for you. Good night, dear."

**A/N: I know this is a later post/update. Sorry about the hour but I wanted to get another chapter up before tomorrow. I sincerely hope you all enjoyed reading this and THANK YOU for the awesome reviews. They are wonderful to receive and it always brings a smile to my face to read your thoughts and comments. So, tell me... do you think Jacob will really be there waiting for Bella when she goes back to Washington? Do you think she should go back at all? Tell me in a review! Till next time...**


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

**(JPOV)**

I tossed another shot of whiskey back, feeling the familiar burn settle in the base of my throat as the liquid glided down. I slid the empty shot glass down the bar, hearing it sharply clang against the dozen others piled at the end.

"I'll take another." I gestured to Paul, hearing his sigh of disapproval when he eyes me suspiciously.

"I think you've had enough, don't you? Just cause we burn it off fast doesn't mean you should be shit faced every night, man."

I glared at him, seeing him square his shoulders to me in response, accepting my challenge without a hint of worry in his stony look.

Paul had bought the run down building that used to be the local pawn shop in town a little over a year ago. He had fallen into some money and had taken it upon himself to fix up the abandon place and turn it into a half decent bar. The renovation was slow at first but once he got things in order and the right workers in place, everything came together for him, although the name he'd chosen for it was the last one I would've thought he'd gone with.

The Alpha's Fire pub had grown in numbers, nearly tripling the usual crowd in just the last six months. He was pulling in decent money from it and was open till dawn most nights of the week. He'd even hired a decent kitchen and wait staff and I had come to know them all well, given that I was in here more nights than I was anywhere else.

"Don't push me Paul! I mean it!" I harshly warned, reaching out over the bar and blindly grabbing for the whiskey he kept behind it.

"Hey!" He yelled, stalking toward me with a feral look. "Come on, Jake! That shit ain't free and you don't need another damn drink. You need to go home."

I gripped the bottle firmly in my hand, ripping it away from him and taking a swig while reaching in my back pocket for the money I had left there. I slammed a fifty down on the counter and swallowed the numbing fire as I leaned in closer to him, our faces both hard and angry now.

"Will that cover this bottle and a few more drinks or do I need a larger bill to shut you the hell up?"

He hastily snatched the money off the wooden surface in front of us and pulled away slowly, his pissed off response only making my anger grow.

"You can keep that bottle and I'll apply the fifty to your ever growing tab, but you're sure in fucking hell not driving home tonight. You can alpha order me all you want. You're not leaving here like that again. You got damn lucky you didn't wrap your bike around a tree last time."

"Who the fuck do you think you are? Huh!? My keeper? I'm your alpha, remember? You follow me." I sneered, sinking back down on the leather stool and seeing his temper flare from my words.

"Yeah, I remember. You fucking need a keeper to straighten your ass out. It would do you good!" He haughtily countered, reaching forward and grabbing the keys to my bike.

"Paul!" I roared, grabbing him by the collar and yanking him forward. "Hand them over."

"No." He blatantly refused.

I saw red then and shoved him backwards into the dozens of glass bottles that lined the wall there. They came crashing upon impact and Paul immediately threw himself back at me, his reflexes primed and ready when he hurdled himself over the bar and knocked us both down to the floor. Screams broke out as his fist connected with my jaw once before I took a returning swing at him. He cursed and spit red as he stood up and backed away from me, his hand coming up to wipe the crimson dripping steadily from his jaw.

"I wont fucking fight you, Jake. Get the hell out of here! Go sleep some of this off before you cause more damn trouble. It's not worth it."

I got to my feet, seeing the scared shitless looks shared by those around us while they waited for my next move. I tasted the rustic tinge of blood on my tongue as it pooled in my mouth from his hit and pushed past him, my shoulder firmly knocking into his own while I headed for the door.

"Fuck you, Paul." I muttered, barging out without stopping to look back.

"Right back at ya' brother." I heard him say as the cool night air touched my face.

I ran for the woods, phasing and shredding my clothes along the way, my paws digging harshly into the earth below them. I ran for miles until the fog in my head slowly began to clear, the effects of the alcohol wearing off as I broke through to my back yard, the desolate and empty look of it matching my insides. I phased back with a painful moan as I staggered up the warn out steps on the front porch, gripping my throbbing head in my hands. I threw open the front door, hearing it slam harshly against the wall from the force and collapsed onto the only piece of furniture I had put in the place since I'd taken it over from Sue. She had moved to a new place on the reservation with Seth last Spring, thinking she needed less space with Leah gone off to College as often as she was now. Billy had bought the place from her and given it to me, saying he believed I could make something of it. Fix it up and call it my own. I'd torn apart the old floors and rebuilt nearly every square inch of the roof by hand last month. When I wasn't out patrolling with the pack, this is where everyone knew to find me. Where I spent the rest of my time, being split between here and the pub. The inside looked completely abandoned in the way I'd kept it.

"What the fuck is the point." I scoffed into the emptiness around me, staring at the stripped floors and lifeless interior. There was no color or warmth of any kind here. It was cold and dark and dead. Just like I was. Just like I had been for so many months now I'd lost count.

This wasn't home. It was nearly a place to lay my head at night and there were times when the loneliness of it all became more than I could stand and I would end up back at Billy's, camped out on the couch for the rest of the night. Billy had turned my old room into a work study of sorts, shoving a desk and boxes of books in there he had yet to sort through. He told me I was always welcome back there, that it would forever be my home, but he wanted more for me. Wanted me to experience what it was like to build something up and fix it with my own hands. I knew his intended life lesson was for my good, but as shitty as I felt these days, I barely had enough energy to give two fucks about anything outside of pack duty.

They say time is supposed to heal you but I hadn't done much healing.

I ran on autopilot, always in fight or flight mode and becoming so pissed off at the whole damn world, that I pushed anyone who tried to get close to me away. My focus shifted entirely once Sam stepped down from Alpha last year and since then, I lived and breathed for it, running on pure instinct alone. It made me an ass more times than not, but I didn't care. There was very little I cared about these days and with every month that would pass by, I would feel myself slip further and further into the wolf more than the man. It was useless to try and fight it anymore, so I let it rule me whenever I wasn't on two legs and even sometimes when I still was.

I slept only when my body forced me to and drank my misery away until some of the pain would numb. Alcohol was my anesthetic and even though my body heat tried to chase the numbing effect away after every drop, I'd always have enough on hand to keep the buzz at least half way going. When the whiskey and vodka weren't enough, I'd take home the first woman who caught my eye at The Alpha's Fire and use her to make me forget. I never called them the next day or even acknowledged most of them whenever we'd cross paths in town. I had no interest in carrying on anything further than a one night fuck. Anything more than that was more work than I had it in me to give. I'd made somewhat of a name for myself and the women who would buy me a drink knew just what they were getting into. They expected nothing more and nothing less from me and that was the way I wanted it to be. Most nights, I could barely remember their names or the particular features in their faces that reminded me of _her_. Dark brown eyes that would occasionally catch my own through the darkness, long mahogany tresses that would spill down an ivory back, or the sound of my name being pulled from a throat in the act whose voice sounded nothing at all like the one that had ripped open my soul. I tried like fucking hell not to think of her when I had someone else in my bed, but my best efforts did very little to control where my mind went. There were times I swore I saw her beneath me instead of whoever had accompanied me back home for the night and it was enough to make me question whether or not I was finally going fucking crazy. How I ached with every part of me for that to be the case and hated that it never would be. I didn't care to know who any of my conquests were or even if they belonged to someone. Selfish I know, but my theory was, if they had bothered to come home with me then they weren't too committed to whoever the hell it was they were cheating on anyway. When I had gotten what I wanted, there was no embraces or moments of tenderness, just a casual "...thanks," coming from both of us before I would shower and ask them to see themselves out. I knew what an ass that made me and that it wasn't right but I also knew in my gut that I'd never be _right_ again.

I kept every one of them at an arms length, never allowing them to get closer or telling them anything about myself. That was until Theresa came along.

She was fairly new to town and Paul had hired her as a waitress in the pub in late June. She worked evening shifts and the very first time I saw her, I had to do a double take, my eyes clearly deceiving me again, as they did so fucking often. It was Theresa's eyes that called to me first, the shape and hew of them much the same as _hers. _The shy smile she offered me alluring in the same way _hers_ had always been. I tried to leave well enough alone, I did, but knew that it was only a matter of time before I'd cross the lines I shouldn't and add her name to the long list of women who'd I'd arrogantly used for my own fucked up reasons. Something had turned out to be different with Theresa and when I saw her again at the pub only a few nights later, I struggled to dismiss her in the same way I'd done to all the others. I took her up against the wall in the back room. Her body hoisted up in my arms and her cries drowned out by the loud music Paul had playing in the bar that night. We kept our physical relationship to ourselves and whenever my mind dove back into a place I loathed, my own personal hell. A place where dancing in the woods at a wedding I had forced myself to show up for and remind me all over again of everything I had lost that night, she was the one I'd call. She was the one whose arms I'd seek comfort in, whose body would give me a release till the dawn of another damn day would show up. I didn't tell her what I was, rather she found out when I'd returned home one night to discover her waiting on the front steps for me, her eyes wide and full of terror when she saw me emerge from the tree line still in wolf form. I acted fast and phased back before the scream could fully come out. She had so many questions and I tried to answer them the best I could, but I could sense her nervousness and fear around me after that. She looked at me differently, uncertain of whether or not what I was made me a monster or some kind of fucked up hero. I couldn't blame her and it only served to remind me again of the one who never looked at me like that. With eyes of fear or disdain but instead with acceptance and love.

Theresa had turned out to be not so _good with weird_ and we parted ways within a week of her learning the truth about me. I wasn't even angry at her for it. What damn right did I have to be? If I had stepped into her shoes, I would've run like hell the other way, too. I chose to hit the bottle even harder after that, feeling a new low sink in. This time, I didn't know if I would even resurface and I wasn't willing to dig deep enough within myself to somehow find that inner strength to keep going. I was tired... so fucking tired.

It hurts like hell to be here. In this place. In any place_ without her._

I no longer knew where the wolf ended and the man in me began. I had lost the only compass to who that person was a long time ago and I knew it wasn't returning anytime soon.

The night _she_ left with him after her wedding, the last time I had _held her, touched her, seen her face and heard her voice,_ was the night my soul died. Every part of me ached for_ her_ to come back. I chased that car for miles through the woods in wolf form, agony ripping its way through me like a knife to skin. It tore me open and I _grieved her_ for months like_ she were buried in the ground_, gone forever like my mother was. That's how it felt and that was my truth, because I knew I would never get to take her soft hand in mine again, see her blush from embarrassment, or catch _her _whenever she'd trip over _her own two feet_. Everything that made_ her_ who_ she_ was he'd stripped from _her like it was never there to begin with._

How could _she not know_ that what we had was enough? How could _she_ leave and not look back?

I barely kept myself together long enough to even make an appearance at that wedding and when I'd caught sight of _her_, my knees went weak and I wanted to _beg her_ not to do this. Not to throw our love away before giving it a real chance, but I forced myself not to.

I never even got the chance to tell _her_ goodbye that night but our dance had said it all and like wild fire, it started deep in my chest. The silence between us only growing louder, ringing out in my head. I swore I could even feel the earth shaking under my feet as Sam told me she was no longer our concern. I could feel the pressure building within me until I could barely breathe. My eyes searched _hers_ and I silently pleaded,_ begged her even_, to change _her_ mind before it was too late. I felt myself nearly break apart when I turned and walked away from _her_, every step feeling wrong and like someone had me by the throat.

The look of heartbreak that plagued_ her beautiful face_ that night in the woods has never left me. Even after all this time. I can still close my eyes and see just how _her_ doe eyes glistened with the tears that were moments away from falling down _her_ snow white cheeks, but still _she said nothing. _

When I could no longer see the car, I howled up into the night sky, my heart feeling ripped from my chest as I phased back and fell on my knees in the darkened forest. The all consuming emptiness and loss wrapping itself around me like the chains of a prisoner and holding me captive to it since.

_I'd loved her so completely, with everything I had, and she had taken all of me with her when she left._

I didn't know how to live _without her,_ how to survive knowing our story was never meant to end like it had. We were meant for more. So much more.

**A/N: Hey guys!:-) Thank you for the wonderful reviews from the last chapter. I really appeciate them all and enjoy reading your thoughts on each chapter ****update! Please tell me what you think of Jacob and whats happened since Bella left. Love hearing from you and have a great night! More to come this weekend! xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

**(BPOV)**

I waited in the long line at the terminal, clutching my carry on while the people ahead of me chatted with their families about the plans they had for vacation. I checked my phone, seeing that Billy had sent me a text, asking if I had secured a flight. I quickly sent him a response and followed the line to board the plane. I hated flying and tried to remember that my trip was well worth the short lived anxiety I was having now.

Once we were in the air, I opened Withering Heights and started to read my favorite chapters again, hoping this would distract me most of the flight. After the first few pages, my mind wandered to the conversation I'd had with Billy before, some of his words really making me see that my happiness wasn't based on the opportunities I'd been given, or on the possessions I had now, but that it was something else entirely.

What ran through my memories and kept me awake most nights was the regret I felt and I knew that going back home for the weekend wasn't going to fix what I'd broken, but it was a start and it counted.

I gazed out the window, seeing the bright blue sky and reflecting on how damn selfish my choices had been.

Who walks down the aisle knowing how conflicted she feels about marrying the man standing in front of her? I had struggled to even take the first step when Charlie linked his arm through my own, all of our friends and family watching, but I dismissed my fear as pre wedding jitters instead of acknowledging what it really was... _my feelings for Jacob_.

I should've stopped and told Charlie I wasn't ready, torn that ridiculous wedding dress off and taken a good long look in the mirror before sealing my future like I did.

It was beyond naive of me to think that I could simply press down my feelings and continue on having a life with Edward, that they wouldn't resurface again. The past five years had taught me to see things with both eyes wide open, instead of only in the light I wanted to see them. It made me worse than a coward now for the way I'd left town, abandoning everything I'd seen when Jacob had kissed me on that mountain before the newborn battle. The future we could have. What my life with him would've been like. The children we could've had and the family we had the chance to build together. It was all there, every damn promise of a future like that and I turned my back on it... on him.

I had been so willing to forget it all and start that new life with Edward, that I hadn't even stopped long enough to think about how all those around me would suffer the consequences of my choices.

Charlie and I had just barely gotten our relationship back on track after all the trust issues I'd caused from taking off to Voltera before and I just left him behind with everyone else. I was ashamed to admit that Edward and I had discussed how my "death" would be and how he would tell him after he changed me. I could barely stomach those discussions then and now it made me realize more than ever how heartless I was to even consider it. Charlie would've been devastated. Nothing for him would have been the same, and Renee would have been lucky to escape it all without needing to check herself in to a psychiatric hospital. I would've put them through hell and they never would have seen me again.

What the hell was wrong with me and why had it taken me five damn years to question everything?

I shook my head, glancing down at the warn book in my hands as the captain announced our flight destination and expected time of arrival. I laid my head back, feeling my eyes grow heavy from all the sleepless nights lately. I needed rest and I knew I was pushing myself to make this flight, but I was driven by what Billy had said and by the unexpected sound of Jacobs voice I caught in the background just before the call ended.

I cringed as I thought of how cruel I'd been not to call or even bother writing him. I was beginning to see that the person I had become while being with Edward wasn't someone I was proud of. I wanted to change everything about her and I would. One step at a time.

My father deserved more and so did Jacob.

I tried not to let the fact that he very well could have imprinted while I was gone make me become too timid to see him once I got back to Washington, but it was hard not to. The very idea alone tore me apart in ways it shouldn't. After all I'd done to him, I didn't feel I even had the right to be hurt if he had found the one.

Would he even want to see me? Talk to me? Give me a chance to apologize and make amends with him after all this time?

I knew Jacob had one of the biggest hearts I had ever known, but I also knew just how much damage I'd done and that some of it may be well beyond repair by now.

He wouldn't trust me or even let me in easily like before and who the hell could blame him? I would do the same if placed in his shoes. Trust was not feely given, it was earned and I had to remember that. While my heart was eager for him to welcome me back with open arms, I knew how unlikely that was. All I could do was my best to change. To stop being the selfish girl from before and fix the hurt I'd caused.

I'd replayed my words over and over again, on a repetitive loop, until its madness in my head, wishing I could go back in time. I was desperate to take them back now.

I told him what we had wasn't enough. That I loved him, but it didn't change anything. That my stubborn and senseless denial of how much I really did have feelings for him wasn't enough to make me change my mind in the end and he believed me. My lie had worked and I left there that night without him knowing the truth. It still made my stomach churn when I thought about how easily I'd let that lie slip off my tongue. How easily I'd made him believe me.

The truth wasn't even close to that. When his lips claimed mine on that mountain, it changed everything for me. He had ripped my heart wide open, torn down every wall and his warmth had touched every part of me in that kiss, and it was more than enough to make me see that not only did I have feelings for him, not only did I love him, but that I was_ in love_ with him. But my future wasn't mine anymore. It belonged to Edward because it guaranteed my change and promised me the escape from the Volturi's grasp. Aro had been pointed in telling us his expectations in Voltera and we knew better than to not heed his crucial warning.

I tried to cling to that threat all this time with Edward, knowing they would come for me soon enough. We had been lucky so far, or toyed with, one or the other. Aro liked to play games. He got off on others misery and torture. It was all part of his sick and twisted charm according to the Cullen's. Alice had been mindful to watch her visions for any clue that they were headed for us, and we had waited, week after week, always looking over our shoulders for them to step out of the shadows and destroy us all for my delay of what I'd sworn would take place right after we were married.

I had talked myself into it dozens of times, choosing foolish anniversary or birthday dates to start the end of my humanity and become what Edward was, exist with him and the Cullen's forever, but every time the chosen date would near, I just couldn't.

The last time I'd tried and chosen yet another meaningless date to set had been a year ago, and the night before, I had a vivid dream of Jacob. He stood in the doorway of my old room at Charlie's, his eyes locking with my own as tears streamed down his handsome face. His hand was clutched to his chest and I gasped at the sight of the thick crimson that poured out through his fingertips, soaking through his shirt as he stared at me. His dark eyes pleading with me to help him. I went to him, pressing my hands over his, and screaming as the blood continued to pour, now covering my own fingers. "Don't leave me, Bells. Please honey-... Please don't."

I woke up in a cold sweat then, pushing away from Edward who was trying to comfort me, but in that moment his cold hands were the last thing I wanted to feel pulling me closer. I craved a different set of arms and I longed for Jacob that night in such a tangible way that I swore I could feel the undeniable ache for him settle into my very bones, into the very core of who I was. Seeing him like that in my dream had shaken me so much that I no longer set any date thereafter. I never uttered a word to Edward about the dream or how damn vivid it had been for me. I didn't want him to ask me the questions I couldn't bring myself to answer, so I said nothing and kept it to myself.

I was torn from my thoughts suddenly as the sound of my cell vibrating caught my attention. I reached into my coat pocket and saw it was another text from Billy, his words making me smile when I read the message.

_Hope your flight is good, dear. _

_I haven't told Charlie your coming._

_ He plans on coming here for dinner tonight._

_ Please let me know when you land safely._

I turned the phone off and nervously pondered whether I should even step foot on La'Push lands tonight, knowing that if Jacob happened to be out on patrol with the pack, I could miss him entirely, or worse, he would end up catching my scent before I had a chance to even work up enough nerve to try and see him.

Our descend was smooth and I was soon stepping off the plane and inhaling the fresh air as I headed for my rental car, my eyes scanning the overly crowded parking garage for the one the kind lady at the front desk had given me keys for. I hit the panic button on the flimsy key fob and saw the white GMC two rows over flash its lights as the alarm sounded. I quickly silenced it and felt the hint of a smile touch my face when I took in the normalcy of this ride. Granted, it was far bigger than anything I needed, but it was more up my alley than any of the Cullen's expensive rides had been. I opened the lift gate and tossed my bag in the back, my eyes widening at the room in this SUV. There was third row seating, something someone with a bunch of kids would've loved and something a childless woman like myself had really no use for. I swallowed against the lump in my throat as I thought of the many memories vehicles like this one typically held for a regular family. Ones of spilt cereal and chocolate milk in the back seat on the ride to school or whatever sports event the parents rushed to attend every day. Road trips to the local beach, movie theatre, or family vacations one takes when they have that kind of life. I closed the back and climbed into the drivers seat, my hand touching the smooth leather as I started it and hit the gas for Forks.

**A/N: Hey guys! I have to say a big thank you to all who reviewed the last chapter! :-) You are awesome and I love reading all your thoughts on this story so far! Many of you shared that you were brokenhearted for Jacob and some of you thought Bella needed to atone for her wrong doings. I agree and I hope you all enjoy this chapter. My apologies that it is a bit shorter. I ****wasn't able to add as much to it this time cause I unfortunately have to go to work now. Trust me! I would MUCH rather be here writing more! There will be another update posted tonight. Please leave me a review and tell me your thoughts! Thanks! Till next time...**


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

**(BPOV)**

My mind wouldn't stop racing while I drove through Washington, every mile gone by bringing me closer to the place and the people I'd left behind. The people I'd walked away from for Edward and the Cullens.

It may only be_ one_ weekend, but I knew what could happen in that short of a time frame. Some would be happy to see me back home, while others would do very little to hide their disgust for me. Others like the pack and people like Leah Clearwater and Paul Lahote. They had never liked me from the start and now after all this time and after what I'd done by taking off and leaving, they'd have even more reason to loathe my presence. I didn't blame them and I couldn't be angry at them for feeling this way. I'd put Jake through hell and had chosen their enemy over him. I was almost sure they saw it as betrayal of the worse kind. What they didn't know, what no one knew, was that I had wanted nothing more than to be part of that kind of family, that kind of true care and loyalty they had with one another. It was a rarity to have something like that. They didn't know how lucky they were.

I had been on the road for nearly two hours without stopping for coffee or anything to eat and had called Billy only a few short minutes after I'd left. The trip from Sea-Tac Airport had gone by faster than I expected and I was relieved to see the familiar landmarks of Forks soon come into view. I slowed my speed and rolled down the window, inhaling the fresh air greedily, like my lungs had craved it all this time. I smiled when I caught the scent of Fall, recognizing the crisp feel to the breeze that blew through my hair and made me shiver. I zipped up my leather jacket, and wrapped my knitted cream scarf around my neck, my gaze catching sight of the prominent diamond still on my left hand as the sun beamed down on it, the sparkle it shown making me hit the brakes and pull over to the side of the road. I stared at it's brilliance and felt the pang of guilt tug at me when I nervously removed it from my ring finger and tucked it inside my purse. I slowly flexed my fingers, feeling the odd sense of nakedness without it's weight there now as I fiddled with the bracelet that adorned my wrist. The wooden wolf charm making me pause before checking over my shoulder and merging back out onto the road that led to Charlie's. Within a few short minutes, I pulled into the long drive, my hands trembling as I put the loaner in park and sat there looking at the sight of my old red truck. It was the only vehicle in the driveway at the time, like Billy thought he would be, Charlie was working a later shift at the station and wouldn't be home till after lunch. I stepped out on legs that felt like led, abandoning the GMC and wandering over to the restored masterpiece in front of me.

It was really here and it was perfect. I placed my hand on the warm hood, feeling the smooth texture beneath my shaking fingertips.

Jacob hadn't just painted the truck like Charlie had said, he'd also washed and waxed it. _His_ hands had touched every surface and restored it beyond anything I thought was possible. I struggled to keep my emotions in check as my gaze lingered on the license plate, the letters there making my tears spill over from the sight.

-B-E-L-L-S-

I pulled my hand away from the hood and knelt down in front of it, my cheeks wet from my tears as I stared at the nickname._ His_ nickname for me. The plate looked new and was current and I struggled not to collapse in on myself as I stood back up and wandered around to the back, my fingertips grazing over the cherry red paint while I examined it further.

He had poured so much work into this. The detail stealing my breath away as I flipped down the tailgate and made my way around to the passenger side door. I opened it and reached up for the visor, my hands fumbling to catch the set of keys that fell into the seat. I clutched them tightly and bit back a sob as my eyes caught sight of what he'd done. Amongst the three other keys lay another perfectly crafted wolf charm, larger in size than the one dangling from my charm bracelet, but just as beautiful. I marveled at the craftmanship he'd put into the hand made keychain.

I wiped at the tears still falling and jogged back around to the drivers side, sliding in and shoving the keys in the ignition with haste. My heart hammered loudly against my chest, the force of the beat ringing though my ears as the engine roared up beneath me with renewed fire. The sound was heaven to me. He had even taken the time to clean the inside and I felt the raw regret grip me like a vice when I saw the dream catcher now hanging from my rearview mirror, the feathers swaying in the wind as I shut the door. I didn't know if I was merely imagining it, if my mind was playing tricks on me, or if my heart had ached for it so long that it was all purely in my head, but I could swear that I could even _smell him in here._ Just like the scent that comes right after a fresh Summer rain, mixed with woodsy pine and smells far better than anything bottled on the shelves. He'd been in here recently. I was sure of it with every breath I took. I placed my hands on the polished steering wheel and looked out at the road ahead, my minding filling with every damn memory we'd ever shared in this truck together before I'd left. I pushed past the nervous fear running rampant through me and shifted it into drive, my foot pressing down firmly on the gas and taking off out of the driveway.

I felt more alive in this moment than I had in months... _years even_.

I flew down the highway with a wide smile, my hair blowing back wildly in the wind. I felt unstoppable and euphoric as my speed reached near eighty. He'd fixed every part of this truck.

_Just like he fixed every part of you..._

I made it to La'Push in record time, my eyes filling with new tears the closer I got to the Reservation. I was only a few short miles away when I slowed down as I passed by a local bar. The name of it causing me to pull into the vacant parking lot and stare at it.

How had I never noticed this place before?

The Alpha's Fire wasn't open yet, but I knew with just one look at the tall man standing outside with a broom in his hand, just who this place belonged to. I saw him slowly turn around at the sound of my truck approaching, the muscles in his arms tensing and his back straightening when I cut the engine.

"We're not open yet, sorry-." He arrogantly stated, his voice annoyed and tired at the same time.

I felt the blood drain from my face when he sharply turned around then, locking his gaze on my own as I cautiously stepped out. I knew I must look like a dear in headlights, but I couldn't move even if I wanted to. My body shook from the nerves while his steely gaze turned wide and disbelieving before me.

"Paul...-?"

The broom he'd been gripping fell to the wooden porch as he stepped down from it, his head shaking back and forth when he took a few steps my way. He stumbled once, his face paling for a brief second while he tried to speak. I cringed and braced myself for his cold and angry words, hoping I could hold myself together enough and not show him how much they'd hurt me. I slowly drew in another breath and raised my head, seeing his expression now full of something else... something warmer and far less hostile... something that almost mirrored relief.

"Bella?"

All I could do was nod to him as he approached me further, his gaze sweeping over my whole body before landing on my face. Like he were checking to see if I was really in front of him, or really still me. I couldn't be certain which.

I flinched back slightly, still unsure of how this was gonna go when he suddenly reached out for me, his hands touching my shoulders when I peered up into his face.

"Holy shit." He muttered, thinking out loud as he continued to stare at me. "You're as human as you ever were."

"Yeah, still just plain old me." I hesitantly offered, disbelieving of the smile that touched his normally pissed off features.

"I see that and you were never plain. Maybe a little boring at times but never plain." He replied.

"Thanks...- I think...-"

"I meant it as a compliment. Trust me."

"I don't know that I've ever really heard you give one...-"

"You got me there." He admitted. "But people change. Come here, you!"

He pulled me forward into a tight embrace then and I could feel the sincerity behind his hold, my head spinning at the sudden change in him toward me. I soon pulled back and met his gaze once more. He looked exactly the same on the outside, his hair a little shorter and his muscles a bit more defined now, but there was something vastly different in his eyes and it left me more than curious.

"You're different."

He nodded with a humbled sigh and gestured behind him to the bar.

"Places like this change a person ya' know."

"This is yours?" I asked, stunned that he owned the building in front of us.

"Yeah, I fixed it up with a lot of help. Took a while but it's been running pretty good. Would you like a tour?"

"I'd love one." I replied, taking his offered arm and heading for the door.

My mouth fell open when he flipped on the lights and pulled out a barstool for me, his grin playful and a little mischievous as he eagerly hopped over the counter and reached in behind the bar, retrieving a wine bottle and a glass. His movements smooth like a pro. I laughed and so did he, our eyes meeting as the dozens of lights flickered on above me. I glanced up at them, seeing their beauty and shook my head.

"You've done a great thing here, Paul." I softly admitted.

"Thanks, Bella." He replied, handing over the half glass of white wine. "I can pour a red if you prefer that?"

"No, this is fine. Thanks."

"Anything for you."

His tone wasn't cocky or pompous, but kind and laced with a care I wasn't used to when it came to him. Despite the fact that it was a bar, the place had real charm and warmth and I found myself truly comfortable there with him.

"I can tell you're proud of this and you should be." I soon added, seeing his replying nod as he tossed the towel in his hands over his shoulder.

"It has it's charms and it's downfalls, too." He replied, his gaze peering over to my left. I followed his eyes and saw the scowl that creased his brow when he went back to wiping down the counter.

Pieces of splintered wood littered the floor in the far corner, the fragments from a destroyed table and chair set from an obvious upset of some kind recently.

"Wow- how did that-" I began, my eyes widening at the mess he still had to clean up.

"It's nothin'- hun. Happens all the time around here. People have too much to drink." He interjected, his voice no longer care free like before.

"I hope you billed that ass for the damages. What a mess." I replied, getting to my feet and grabbing the spare broom he had leaned against the nearby wall.

"You don't have to do that-"

"I know, but you did give me a free drink and you were a lot nicer to me than I thought you were gonna be. So, I figure it's the least I can do."

I felt his hand on my shoulder and jumped from his sudden closeness, his face full of remorse when he gave my arm a gentle squeeze.

"I was an ass then, Bella. A real fucking piece of work. Could've really hurt you when I phased so close like that. I'm sorry."

His apology stunned me into silence as I met his gaze.

"I slapped you, remember?"

"I do and I damn sure deserved it. Jacob kicked my ass like he should've-"

He paused his thought when he saw me advert his gaze at the mention of his name and continue sweeping, the silence becoming awkward and full of tension. After a few more moments, Paul's hand caught the broom and stilled my movements, his eyes piercing through mine and the intensity of his gaze making my legs feel like concrete. I felt as if he could see right through me, like a crystal glass.

He took the broom from me and stared at my left hand, his expression unreadable now.

"You're not wearing that hideous ornament on your finger anymore-..."

I swallowed hard and felt my face start to burn with a vivid blush. Paul released my hand and leaned against the nearby table, his arms crossing over his broad chest while he waited for my reply.

"I was headed there... -before I stopped here-"

"-to Billy's?" Paul asked with a thoughtful nod of his head.

"Yeah, Charlie doesn't know I'm in town for a visit. I'm planning to surprise him-"

"... -and Jacob?" Paul countered.

I shook my head, bending down to collect the debris in my hands and toss it into the trash.

"He thinks you're-..."

"I know he does and I'm ashamed of myself for letting him think that this long." I replied.

"You were supposed to be. Wasn't that the plan? What happened, Bella. None of us ever thought we'd see you back here again. Not human anyway and probably not ever. What the hell is going on?"

I sat down in the chair and fiddled with the wolf charm, my eyes carefully adverting his as my words failed me.

"...I know I shouldn't- that I-... that it wasn't supposed to...-"

Paul hunkered down in front of me, his hand reaching up to lift my chin.

"You miss him, right? That's why you came back and why your driving that truck he fixed up for you?"

I nodded, seeing his look grow concerned when I admitted this to him.

"Bella, he's different. He's not like he was before-... I haven't seen that Jacob in a long time."

His words sucked the air from my lungs and I felt my breath hitch when he stood and walked away from me then. I followed after him, reaching for his forearm and halting his steps.

"Paul- hold on a second. What does that mean?" I asked, staggering forward.

"It means that I think you came back here expecting your Jacob to be waiting for you. Just the way you left him before, Bella. But he's gone... he's not that person anymore, hun. I would hate for you to not have a warning. So, this is me giving you one. Be careful."

The two of us didn't move as he nodded his head toward the mess I had just cleaned, his face becoming hard and angry suddenly.

"... or you'll end up just like the damage he left here the other night."

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry this chapter was two nights late! But my bunny chewed through my Macbook Air charger so I need to order a new one! No worries, I'll still be updating in between! Please leave me a review and tell me your thoughts on Bella and Paul's encounter? Thank you and HAPPY READING! :-)**


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

**(BPOV)**

I stayed at the Alpha's Fire with Paul until late afternoon, helping him clean up some of the mess and listening to him tell me more about Jacob. His stories had my insides knotting painfully. I tried to picture him the way Paul described, but found it hard to, my mind always going back to the person I'd left here five years ago. That person...my Jacob... was nothing like the one Paul was telling me about now.

I handed Paul the tools he needed to fix the destroyed table and chair, his strong hand firmly gripping the wood to piece it back together.

"I'm not trying to scare you. Just figured you'd like to know what you're walking into while you're here." He sighed, placing a screw into the splintered wood.

"I can't even see him doing this-" I replied, gesturing down to the broken table he was attempting to fix.

"He hasn't been the same since you left, Bella. Its the truth, hun."

I nodded and sunk down on the floor next to him, my hands trembling as I glanced around at the destruction he'd caused here alone.

"You wouldn't fight him?" I hedged, seeing Paul still his movements and glance up at me.

"No, he's still my brother. A mess or not. I know we haven't always seen eye to eye on things and usually he's the one straightening my ass out, but the tables have sure in hell turned around here. I couldn't take a swing at one of my own. He's fucking family."

"Shows how much you've changed, Paul." I replied with a smirk, handing him some more wood glue.

"Nah- I just grew up and dug my head out of my ass."

"Better late than never, I say."

He chuckled at this and sat up, tossing his tools aside with a huff before checking his wrist watch for the time.

"Shit, the afternoon really got away from me. It's almost time to open up shop for business."

"What time is it?" I asked, taking his offered hand and getting to my feet.

"Almost three...-"

"Oh, I've gotta get going."

I grabbed my keys from the bar and turned quickly on my heel to head for the door before Pauls hand caught my arm, his gaze fierce when he spoke.

"Hey- you be careful, Bella. Alright? If you need something... a ride...- or even some company, I'll be around. You know where to find me."

"Thanks, Paul. I'll remember that." I replied, turning back around to give him a proper hug. He froze when I pressed my head against his chest and thanked him again for the afternoon, his arms hesitant to return my close embrace at first, but soon drawing me tight against him before I let go.

"Drinks are on the house for you. Always."

"I just may take you up on that sooner than you think."

"I hope you do." He sincerely replied.

I waved a final goodbye while I slipped out the glass door and headed for my truck, the air colder now as night steadily drew near.

My drive to La'Push was full of Paul's words, what he'd said about Jacob made me cringe and hurt for him. All this time, I thought he was back here with the person he was supposed to have found all along, his imprint, whoever that may be, but my assumption had been so wrong. Things were bad and he wasn't in a good place. Paul told me he spent most of his nights in that bar, drowning his misery in whatever alcohol he could get his hands on.

Finding out from Paul how things had really been for him didn't change how I saw him. Jacob had never been weak, it wasn't in him to give up and hearing everything from Paul today had only showed me that he'd been strong for everyone else... for me... for too damn long and I'd left him that way.

I pulled over to the side of the road when the Reservation came into view, my breath hitching from the sight of Billy's place. The small red house looking much the same as I slowly pressed down on the gas and made my way into the driveway. I stared at the new wheel chair ramp that led to the front door and felt a familiar shiver run up my spine as I took the keys from the ignition and gingerly stepped out. I barely made it a few more steps before the porch light flickered on and the house door creaked open.

"Are you a sight for sore eyes, sweet girl." Billy chuckled, wheeling himself down the ramp with a wide and eager grin on his face.

"Billy." I gasped, feeling the unexpected tears blur my vision as I jogged up the ramp and threw my arms around him. He hugged me tight and I felt like a child who had finally come back home when his glossy gaze met mine.

"I didn't think we'd ever see your pretty face again. Please, come inside and get out of the cold. Charlie just went to get us some pizza for dinner. He has no idea you'll be waiting for him when he gets back."

"I've missed you, Billy." I replied, wiping away my tears and following him into the house. I struggled to hold myself together when he closed the door behind us and I caught a glimpse of Jacobs sneakers, the mud and grass still freshly caked on the sides.

Billy saw my face and reached out for my hand, his gaze full of sincerity when he spoke.

"He won't be here tonight, Bella. I'm sorry."

I nodded, swallowing back at the emotion I hated to show.

"Did you tell him I was coming?"

"No, dear. I thought it might be best if he saw you first. Jacob's not- well... he's been- it's been a rough few-"

"I know, Billy." I replied, placing my hand on his shoulder and seeing the worry etched in his face now.

"You've seen Paul I take it?"

"Yes, I spent a few hours with him this afternoon. On the way to see you I stopped in to the Alpha's Fire. He's done well for himself there."

"Yeah, Paul's done a real turn around the past few years. Believe it or not, he's been more of a leader to the pack than Jacob lately."

I nodded and took the seat next to Billy he offered me with a warm smile.

"I didn't know things were like this." I replied, adverting his gaze and seeing the remorseful look on Billy's face.

"It wasn't my place to share it with you, but I wanted to. So many times I wanted to find out where you were. I didn't know whether you were still yourself or-"

"One of them..." I replied, finishing the thought for him.

"It wouldn't have mattered, you know?"

"What?" I countered, looking up to see the genuineness in his gaze now.

"Human or not-... I wanted to know how you were, Bella. Wanted to know that you were happy and fulfilled in your life." Billy replied. "But I'm so glad to see you just as you were. Pink cheeks and two left feet."

His words made my eyes sting as I thought of who had said that same phrase to me first. Jacobs desperate gaze came back fresh to my mind, his eyes pleading with me to change my mind as he held me close that night. His expression full of longing and pain before he turned and walked away from me.

"I've been so selfish, Billy."

"No... you-" He began in protest, but stopped when I shook my head.

"I was wrong to do what I did to him."

"Bella...-"

"He gave me back myself when I lost that part of me, Billy. I was broken before he came along and I turned my back on him like he didn't matter."

I was crying and I didn't care how weak that made me look because it was nothing but the truth and Billy deserved to hear it as much as Jacob still did.

"You gave him something, too." Billy countered, placing his warm hand on top of my own. "You believed in him when he didn't believe in himself. That's what love does. It makes you better."

"Why aren't you angry with me? For what I did and what's happened to him because of it."

"I've known you since you were born, Bella. I know the heart you have. I could never be angry with you for going with that heart and for choosing what made you happy. Even if that wasn't my son."

"... but it was...-"

Billy stilled, his words stopping as he nodded his head slowly and patted the top of my hand.

"I know it was, dear. I know."

I raised my head, my tears falling as he reached out and moved a stray lock of hair out of my face, his gaze searching mine for something he already knew.

"How did you-"

"When you left and went with the Cullen's, I knew a huge part of you stayed here. Right in Washington. Not just for Charlie, of course, but for Jacob, too. I knew he was part of you in the same way you've always been part of him. I wasn't sure if I could convince you to come back after all this time or not, but I had to try."

"He is part of me. I've thought about calling or writing so many times, Billy. But I didn't think he'd-..."

"He would have. Every time. He waited for you for longer than he should have, Bella. Longer than anyone told him to and when he finally accepted you were gone, that you weren't coming back and that you were one of them by now, it ripped away that light in him. He's been hard to reach these days, dear. Spends most of his time obeying the wolf. I think it's easier for him that way. Less painful than being on two legs."

"I miss him more than I know what to do with, Billy. I didn't come here to cause any trouble. I know I don't belong back here."

"You always belong where my son is, Bella. Time could never change that. Neither can old hurts."

I stared into his dark eyes, the look of them mirroring Jacob's so much so that it took my breath away.

The sound of an approaching car stopped our conversation as Charlie soon came barging in through the front door, his eyes wide and his face pale when he saw me sitting there at Billy's kitchen table. I let out a sob I didn't know I had been holding and ran to him like I did when I was just little. He met me half way, his words strained with emotion when he took hold of me, holding my head under his chin.

"Bella, you're really here- it's really you, kiddo?"

I couldn't form words as he held me there in Billy's entry way, my heart warming from his embrace.

"I'm really here, dad. It's really me. I've missed you so much."

**A/N: Hey all my awesome readers! Thank you for your great and thoughtful reviews and for your patience! This weekend was a bit crazy with family events and Birthday parties, so it didn't leave me much time to write! There will be another chapter posted soon! Please leave me a review and tell me your thoughts on Bella's homecoming. Do you think Billy should tell Jacob she's still human and back home or should he see her for himself first! Can't wait to hear your thoughts on this! HAPPY READING! Till next time...**


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

**(JPOV)**

I woke up with a start, my head fiercely pounding and my hair slick with sweat. I struggled to gain my focus, her name being ripped from my throat in a choked breath before I could stop it.

"Bella."

The room spun and I cursed loudly when I kicked over the bottle of vodka by my feet, spilling the remaining contents onto the floor.

"Fuck."

I fell back against the couch, shaking my head to clear it and gripping my chest as the familiar ache I hated more than anything settled there once again.

My nightmares always ended this way, with me chasing after a woman who was dead now and waking up alone aching for something that would never be. I hadn't known what it was like to get a solid nights sleep since she'd left and I had lost track of the times I'd called out for her in the middle of the night, only to be answered by deafening silence. On the nights when I wasn't alone, whoever had the misfortune of laying next to me would always ask who she was and I would never tell them. I'd simply walk away or show them the door. I didn't care for meaningless sentiments of remorse or worse, their damn pity for me. It was always more than I could take and just further pissed me off.

I slowly sat up, checking the clock on the wall and noting the time. It was fast approaching day break and I had to get my ass out on Patrol. I was set to meet up with the pack at sunrise and assign new territory for them to cover. I dragged myself up, ignoring the mess on the floor and heading for the shower. The water was enough to wake me up but it didn't stop the dreaded thoughts I hated from coming back. Turns out there are worse things than death and prison for a man, there's the entrapment of his own fucked up mind and memories. I was convinced that it was more than enough to drive someone previously sane to the brink of fucking madness. I never knew that there could be pain like this that never ended. I'd become numb to it after all this time. I turned the water up, feeling the heat touch my skin as I lathered and rinsed. I glanced at the stone tile I'd put in this bathroom by hand last month and shook my head in frustration. It was too expensive and the glass shower too elaborate for a terminal bachelor like myself. I'd been a real idiot to put it in. Who the hell was I trying to impress? No one ever saw it, or used it but me. I didn't know why the hell I was trying to fix up this place for at all. What little work I'd put into it hadn't done much for it's overall appearance anyway and it wasn't as if she would ever grace the threshold.

I stopped the thought, my mind bringing up another dangerous image of her and it made me want to fucking scream. Last night's dream had been more like a nightmare and too damn real. I hated when they were like that. When she felt so close to me that I could reach out and touch her but she was never real. Only a damn illusion my mind had fooled me with one too many times now. I had seen her in the woods, her skin porcelain white and her eyes a golden hue that tore the life right out of me from just the sight of it. She ran from me and I fought the urge not to go after her, my eyes unable to follow her fast movements as she tore through the forest. Sam was fast behind me and he didn't hesitate to chase her off our lands.

I had nightmares like this all the time. Some of them coming every night, while others were less often and of a different nature. Ones where she'd show up here and ask me if I still loved her. My response to her was always the same in every dream. I'd foolishly cave and grab her, kissing her the way she should be kissed, with everything I had to give her. The same way I'd done that day on the mountain before the newborn battle.

My mind was proving to be my worst enemy and it toyed with me even now in ways I loathed. It left me more empty than I knew possible and more damn alone than I could stand. It was like showing someone what they could've had and at the same time, reminding them of what they didn't have. What they would never have.

I closed my eyes as the familiar desire took hold, making me painfully long for her in a way that was near suffocating and torturous. I tried to ignore the affect she still had on me from just thinking of her like this but couldn't turn off my thoughts fast enough.

Being stuck in your own head was a misery I wished on no one.

My jaw clenched as I momentarily gave up the fight, my hand dipping to firmly stroke the growing length far south of my waist. Her face came to mind first, the sight of her smile and the sound of her laughter, before the alluring visions of her naked body pressed against mine in this very shower followed. The way her skin would warm to my own. How her lips felt. The way her cries would fill this empty house. How I longed for her to be in my arms at night. How I felt like I was made to keep her body warm. It wasn't long before my strokes became fast and hard, my visions of her changing from what I hoped for to what I'd already had with her. How she ran to me in that wedding dress, her smile knocking the wind out of me and making my knees go weak before I caught her. I never wanted to let her go. Her name left my mouth again when my release spilled out of me, getting lost in the streaming water from the showers flow. I hung my head in shame, hating the low feeling that came with an empty release like this and dreading the day already as I turned off the water and stepped out.

I was more fucked up than I thought.

I hurriedly pulled on my cut offs, my hair still dripping wet as I stalked toward the kitchen in search of some coffee. Anything to rid some of this hangover. I tossed the empty Folger's can in the trash and stilled as I heard a pounding knock on the front door.

I slammed my coffee mug down on the counter, feeling my anger rise when I opened it.

"What-..."

"Easy man!" Embry sighed, his hands raised in the air as an act of mock surrender. "Hell of a hangover again, huh?"

"Maybe." I quipped back, leaving the door open for him to follow me in.

"You definitely look like hell-"

"Did you come here for a reason?" I replied, my temper flaring at his cocky arrogance. "It's too early for this shit."

"It's almost seven! Your ass should've been up by now!"

"I'll be at the Lumber Yard soon. Get going and don't push me."

He nodded and took a few steps back, knowing by the mood I was in, he should heed my warning and get a move on.

I watched him leave and ran a hand over my tired face, my eyes feeling heavy as I stepped out onto the porch. The sun was out and the birds were chirping, but I found no solace or peace in any of it. Not like I used to. There was a time when I did. A time when I was eager to hit the ground running on four legs and be one with the forest. Nowadays, I did it more as an act of survival instead of enjoyment. It was how I coped, how I made the days go by faster and most of the time, it worked.

I walked out further into the yard, seeing the sun touch the treetops as I inhaled the morning air, my chest heavy despite the fresh promise of a new day. I stared at the dense tree cover before me, seeing the Fall leaves already changing to vibrant colors and knowing that Winter would be here in only a matter of a few short weeks. The season of Fall never lasted long enough, it was fleeting and the nice change to the outside temperature was only a preview of what was to come.

I sighed, seeing my breath form in front of me from the crisp air of the early morning and for the first time, I put words to the fucking torment going on inside me.

"Fuck, I miss you, honey. I wish we could've been enough. I'm sorry we weren't and that I wasn't what you needed or the right kind of monster for you."

I took off for the woods then without a backwards glance, phasing mid- run and heading for the Lumber Yard where I knew the pack would be waiting for me. As numb as I felt, I had to keep going. It was my damn job to keep the pack together and protect the land our ancestors had protected years ago before us.

_"Bout time you showed up."_ Paul huffed when I reached the meeting point, his tone hostile and expected after last nights fiasco.

_"I'm here aren't I?!"_ I arrogantly replied, nudging roughly into his side as I stood in the middle, seeing the others in the pack gather round, their wolf gazes eager with expectation now.

_"Lighten' up, Paul._" Seth added.

_"Yeah, don't be such a dick all the time."_ Embry chimed in, earning himself a menacing growl from Paul.

_"He's the one who damn near wrecked the bar last night. Who are you calling a dick?"_ Jared countered, in his defense.

_"Enough."_ I demanded, losing all patience as they straightened up in formation and looked my way. _"There's new groups this week for patrol. Sam will be here at dawn tomorrow and he'll be running with Jared first. I want us covering more ground."_

_"We're already stretched thin and with the newbies here-"_ Paul huffed, jolting his head toward Collin and Brady.

_"They'll learn just like you did!"_ I replied, seeing him step up to me further, his haughty tone getting under my skin.

_"Yeah, well I've been the one training them the last two weeks while you were off screwing whoever the fucking lady of the week was then. How can they be trained right if you're always missing?"_

I moved forward, pushing him back with a huff and seeing his defiant wolf gaze lock with my own.

_"Watch it, Paul!"_

".._. or what?! You gonna Alpha order me like all the other times? That's the cowards way out and you know it. I gave you my respect. The same way I gave it to Sam before. That's why I didn't wipe the floor with your drunk ass last night for pulling the shit you did at the Alpha's Fire, but that ends now. You either start doing this right and actually pulling your weight around here, or you step the hell down."_

His challenge infuriated me and I charged him, knocking the both of us to the forest floor with one lunge. He didn't relent and that only enraged me all the more.

_"You think you can take Alpha from me, Paul?"_ I hedged, getting back up and seeing him circle around me, his muzzle low to the ground and his growl menacing.

_"Someone has to. It's about time that you remember your place-"_

_"No- I think it's time you remember yours, Paul."_ I roared back, barring my teeth and watching as he lowered his head down in forced submission. I had lost his respect and as angry as I was at him for his defiant challenge, I couldn't blame him for it, either. This was my doing.

_"I don't want to be part of this anymore."_ He suddenly huffed, his belly almost touching the ground beneath him from the weight of my command.

I stepped back, his words hitting me like a solid blow to the gut.

_"What..."_

_"You heard me, Jacob. This isn't the pack it used to be and I don't want to be here. When Sam had it, he ran it right. With respect all the way around. He didn't use his power recklessly like you have. When you first took the pack, it wasn't like this. You had everyone's best interest at heart. Can you say that it's the same way now?"_

I looked at him, seeing his gaze was solid and sincere and I had nothing to say. He wasn't fucking wrong.

_"...just let me out, man. That's all I want. I don't want to phase anymore. I wanna be like everyone else. Run the bar and that's it. Please..."_

I heard the change in his tone with his final few words to me and I struggled to even hold his stare when he slowly rose back up and waited for me to answer him. No one interfered, or added their own two sense in while they waited. The air felt heavy as I took another step toward him, my own head now bowing down in front of him.

I had let them all down. My behavior causing me to be only half the leader I should have been. Paul had been the one picking up the slack and it wasn't fair that I'd placed that burden and responsibility on him.

_"... I'm sorry, Paul."_

He raised his head and huffed, his timid stance making me regret the authoritative tone I'd used with him before. Paul had grown the most in the pack over the years. Gone was the young, full of himself and impulsive guy who made everything difficult and in his place stood a mature, responsible and loyal brother. Someone I respected and owed this apology to.

_"This isn't about the bar, man."_ He replied.

_"I know. It's way fucking more than that. You've been pulling the weight I should be around here for long enough. It's wrong of me to ask that of you or anyone else in the pack. You have my word that I'll change. Give me a chance to show you before you leave us for good, Paul. Do we have a deal?"_

He nodded and slowly fell back in line with the others, my gaze looming out over the pack as a whole and taking in for the first time just how weary and broken down we truly looked.

I had let us get this way.

_"You all deserve more from me. A leader that will step up and do what he says like he should. Sam was that for all of us before and I should strive to be that way._"

_"We know you're hurting."_ Seth piped up, leaning into my side as a show of support.

_"That's not an excuse."_ Quil responded, unable to meet my gaze from across the way. Our close friendship had been on the rocks the last six months and it had caused a tension within the pack as a result. Something else I'd screwed the hell up lately.

_"No it isn't."_ I clarified._ "You all need more from me and I'll give it. No more disappearing for days like before. That's done."_

_"So things are changing around here? For real?"_ Jared hedged.

_"Starting today."_ I huffed, before assigning the other groups their patrol duties for the day and dismissing them. They all left, but one and I wasn't expecting to hear what Paul had to say when he phased back with me and spoke up.

"Shits been hard around here since she left. I know I was an ass before about the whole thing, but anyone with eyes could see that you loved her and it sucks she chose the way she did, but you can't let that destroy you, Jacob. You're still a hell of leader and brother. I'll see you tomorrow for patrol."

I swallowed hard and managed a firm nod to him before he walked away from me. I ran in human form to the one place that was still a shelter for me, still a place where I could find counsel and direction when I needed it most. I made it to dads back yard just as the clouds began to form in the sky above me. A cold rain was coming, I could feel it in my bones when I ran up over the ramp and into the house. I had been here just a few nights before, paying dad a visit when the loneliness of my own place was too hard to take.

"Hey there, son." Billy greeted me, swiftly folding his paper and peering my way.

"Mornin' dad."

"I'm glad you stopped by. There's a weak spot in that new ramp you built me last Summer. I can feel it dip in the middle. Making me nervous. Would you mind taking a look?"

I shook my head and grabbed my sneakers and tool box by the front door before heading back out to find where the ramp had worn. I ended up tearing half of it apart and making a run into town to purchase better wood for the rebuild. I worked the rest of the morning away as the rain beat down steadily, the coolness of it refreshing while I hammered new nails into the pressure treated lumber hoping it would hold better this time around. My thoughts preoccupied with this morning's pack meeting and running over what Paul had said a few more times.

It was time for things to change around here.

**A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this new chapter! Thank you so much for all of your reviews! They are so very appreciated! Please let me know what you think of this chapter in a new review! Can't wait to hear from all of you! Look for another update very soon :-) HAPPY READING! Till Next Time...**


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER NINE**

**(JPOV)**

It was almost noon before I finished the rebuild on dads wheel chair ramp. The rain finally ceased and I joined him for lunch before taking off for another all night patrol run.

"Sue made lasagna last night and brought it over for us. It's in the fridge if you wanna have that." Billy offered, refilling his coffee mug for no doubt the third time or more. Dad couldn't live without a hot cup of coffee in his hand, no matter the hour.

"She made enough for a damn army in here." I sighed, placing the rounded Tupperware on the counter and dishing it out to be warmed for us.

"You know Sue. She never does anything half way."

"I'd say not." I chuckled, with a shake of my head.

"Are you running another late one tonight or-..."

"Yeah, Paul and Embry are supposed to join me sometime after midnight. Quil and Jared are running with me till then."

There was an uncomfortable silence from him that made me look over and catch his disappointed gaze.

"Did you need me to do something else for you before I-"

"No, No. It's alright, son. You fixed the ramp and that's enough for today. It can wait. Don't wanna be a burden."

I reached out and placed my hand on his shoulder, seeing the worry crease his forehead when he intentionally adverted my gaze.

"You're never a burden to me, dad. I don't ever want you thinking that. You always put us kids first when we were growing up. Tell me what you need."

"Well, Charlie is coming over to watch the game later on and I'd like to have you join us if you could."

I dropped my hand from his shoulder and checked the lasagna in the microwave, trying to focus on something else so he wouldn't see the agony that tore through me like a hot iron at just the mention of revisiting an old past time like that with Charlie Swan. The simplistic act of sitting down across the table from the father of the woman I missed with every part of me daily was something I couldn't face, even if I wanted to. Even if I missed him, which I did. Charlie had always been like a second father to me and over the past five years, I'd purposefully gone out of my way to avoid him, never staying near him longer than just enough time to mutter a "...hey", before taking off and putting as much distance between us as possible.

I soon handed dad his full plate and sat down next to him at the kitchen table, his eyes taking in my silence the same way it always had. He normally dropped the issue when I went mute like this, but this time, he appeared to be far more fucking persistent.

"I know it's been a long time since you-"

"I can't, dad. Alright? I'm sorry." I replied, taking a bite of the steaming noodles and sauce as he abruptly slammed his fork down on the table. I halted my eating and met his angry glare, his mouth set in a firm line now.

"That's bullshit. Charlie has always been there for you and your sisters and when your mom died, he was the first one to come and stay here with us till we got back on our feet. You haven't said more than three words to him since Bella left. You're punishing him for something he had no control over. He didn't want her to marry him, Jacob. That's no secret. In fact he-..."

Billy stopped then, his hands pushing away his lunch when he took notice of how I had visibly winced from him saying her name. Call it stupid, but it had become like an unspoken rule around here not to mention her in conversation... at all. Hearing her name said aloud always tore me open and he'd done his best to avoid that at all costs... until now.

"Stop." I sighed, through gritted teeth, my jaw clenched so tight that I was almost sure I was on the verge of breaking a tooth or two from the force.

"No." He bitterly bit back, his hand firmly gripping my forearm when he continued. "I was gonna say that Charlie always hoped she'd change her mind and end up with you, Jacob. He was in your corner, too! You don't think I can see what losing her did to you? I've tried to give you space and I think everyone around here has paid the price for that, but you can't keep living like this, Jacob. Trust me when I tell you, it won't get better if you don't face it. I promise you that it will only get worse. The more time goes on without you feeling anything -"

"I FEEL EVERYTHING!" I shouted, getting to my feet and throwing the half empty glass of water in my hand against the far wall. It smashed loudly, sending shards of glass flying to the floor around us. My father went utterly mute, staring up at me with so much pity, I wanted to run from him.

"Jacob-"

"No, you listen to me this time. You have no idea what I feel or what I'm thinking. Five fucking years have gone by and everyone around here thinks that by now, time should have fixed it all. Well, it hasn't. It's only made it worse! You think I want to be this way? That I enjoy fucking up everything I touch lately or that it makes me feel better to drink like I do? The only thing it does is stop the hell that's in my mind for a little while but it comes back. Sometimes worse than before, dad. I'm not trying to hurt Charlie. You know how much I care for him. I'm only trying to get through each day, one way or another, and sitting down to have a meal with him only makes me think of her more and I can't do that. I won't. If that makes me selfish, than so be it."

Billy didn't flinch from the anger in my voice, instead he wheeled himself over to me, his hand retaking my arm when he spoke.

"When I signed over Sue's old house to you, I had hopes it could be a new start for you, my boy. But you haven't put much effort into fixing it up like I thought you would and I think I just figured out why."

I stared down at him in confusion as to where he was going with this, my anger starting to simmer when I took in how misty his gaze had become.

"Dad, I-"

"You think that's all you deserve. That there's no point in fixing up a house for just yourself. A house where the children you were supposed to have with her won't ever run through the halls, or grow up in it. No marks for measuring height on the wall the way your mother and I did for all you kids when you were growing up here."

I swallowed hard, feeling the unmovable lump form thickly in my throat. I couldn't move or look away from him as he continued.

"...you think it's all for nothing, right? Why would you pour yourself into fixing up something that resembled everything you lost? Everything you wished to be different. It would be more pain for you than it is to leave it alone, but you know something? I know you Jacob. You're my son and I'm damn proud of you no matter what. I know the heart of who you are because it's the heart of your mother. The kind of heart that loves someone so fiercely it's feels like you're suffocating without them. I see her more and more in you the older you get. Don't ever apologize for that part of yourself, but don't forget the part of you that's a fighter, too. It's still in there. You just have to dig it back up and face what's been trying to kill you for the past five years. I know this just like I know that you've left the porch light on for her ever since you moved into that place."

"I just forgot to turn it off-" I horribly lied, fumbling over my words and seeing that he didn't believe one ounce of the bullshit I was trying to sell him.

"No, you left it on in case she ever decided to come back here."

I felt hollow as an angry tear slid down my cheek from his words, my eyes meeting his when I sunk down into the kitchen chair. The weight of it all making my voice hoarse and strained.

"Okay, you got me. Is that what you want to hear? I do leave it on for her, even though I know it's fucking senseless. What if I don't know how the hell to face that, dad?"

"You do, son. I have faith in you and if your mama was here, she would, too. She'd tell you to keep going, even when it hurts."

"It does. It hurts like hell."

"I know it does, son. I wish that I could take it from you but I can't. This is something you have to face on your own."

"I can't let her go. I've tried. I'm supposed to be stronger than this." I admitted, placing my head in my hands and feeling my frustration get the better of me.

I felt him lean over and wrap his arm around my shoulders with a heavy sigh. "You are strong, Jacob. I think you've been strong for too long, son."

"Tell me how to forget her, dad. Tell me... Please-"

I raised my head and saw his resolved expression as he placed his hand on the back of my neck, his words making no damn sense to me.

"Maybe you're not supposed to, Jacob."

"That can't be it, dad! I can't be meant to feel like this even after all this time. I can close my eyes and hear her voice just like I heard it yesterday. I still see her in my fucking nightmares. Some of them are so real and I hate it. I want this to stop! She made her choice and I'm sure she's not laying awake at night thinking of me like I am her. I'm sure she's happy with the future she chose. Why the fuck can't I feel the same!? Or move on!? Do you know how many times I've tried to force something with someone else? Anyone else but her!? It never works, dad. It's like trying to pull gravity in the other direction and I don't even know why! What's wrong with me? Why can't I just shut this off for her!?"

I looked to him pleadingly as I got to my feet again and began to pace back and forth. His short lived silence making me fear that even he didn't have the answer I needed.

"...is that what you really want? To have her erased from you like she never existed? All the memories the two of you shared? You want them gone forever?"

His words alone knocked the wind out of me. Even the idea made me sick to my stomach. I could hardly answer him.

"No, of course not." I choked out.

"You can't have it both ways, son."

"Then what am I supposed to do? Keep her memory alive and hurt like this for the rest of my life, dad?"

I saw him shake his head as he sighed and glanced toward the door, his earnest response making me pause.

"It's all in the timing, my boy. All in the right timing."

I was about to ask him just what the hell that was supposed to mean when the sound of a loud howl brought our conversation to an abrupt end. I gave him a nod and saw him return it before I tore out of the house, bolting for the tree line and phasing mid stride. My paws dug harshly into the muddy forest floor as I headed for the alert, my head filling with Quils thoughts when our minds linked.

_"We got a problem, Jake!"_ Quil shouted, his tone irritated.

_"Now what!?"_

_"Collin and Embry have gone rogue! They picked up on a trail two miles outside the border and took off. Sam is trying to catch them and he told me to come get you."_ Jared huffed.

_"What the hell do you mean they went rogue! They didn't wait for Sam?"_

_"No, I think their trying to prove something!"_

_"Like what? How to get themselves killed! Their not ready to take something like that on alone yet! They should know better by now."_

_"We tried to tell them, Jake! We did! But they didn't listen!_" Jared replied.

I tried not to let my anger cloud my focus as I ran faster than before, my speed making it hard for the others to intercept with me.

_"What kind of trail and how many? Sam's alone if it's more than one. Collin and Brady are nowhere near ready for a fight._" I huffed to Quil, my tone laced with a worry I couldn't disguise from them.

_"Collin thought it smelt more like a clan than just one."_

_"Shit."_ I cursed, pushing myself harder and feeling my lungs start to burn in protest from the exertion. _"I'm gonna kick their asses when I get to them!"_

I made record time, my thoughts soon linking to Sams when I closed in around the border of La'Push, his tone sounding as angry as mind just had.

_"Are you two crazy!? You don't ever take off on your own! You always have backup with you. What if this had been an ambush!"_

I broke through the clearing and found Sam towering over the two timid brothers, his head whipping sharply in my direction when he heard me approaching.

_"He's right. I shouldn't have to come chasing after you like this. If this had been an ambush, or a clan, you'd be in serious shit right now. I wouldn't have reached you in time and that would've left Sam on his own. We don't do stupid shit like that. Go home. The two of you aren't allowed to leave my sight for the next week. Not till I know I can trust your judgement better. Being young doesn't mean it gives you a pass to be foolish. I expect better next time. Get going. I'll be back soon to do a border run with the others."_

They both took off in the direction of home without needing to be asked again and I saw Sam huff along in agreement with me while they went, his wolf gaze narrowing in agitation when it met mine.

"_Thanks for the back up."_

_"No problem. Sorry they put you in that position in the first place. I need to spend more time with them. Train them better. Paul's been doing it all and it's my turn to take the load from him with this."_

_"Don't be too hard on yourself, Jacob. Take it from someone who knows, it takes a long time to find the kind of rhythm that works with everyone in the pack and keep it going smoothly. Not an easy job."_

_"You're cutting me slack and you shouldn't._" I thoughtfully countered, turning with him to head back toward the Reservation.

_"No, the way I see it, and given the shitty circumstances, I'm simply giving you grace when you need it."_

_"Okay, maybe you got me there."_

_"Paul told me about the bar. Am I gonna have to kick your ass to get you to straighten up?"_

_"You can try..." I countered, catching the hint of humor in his tone._

_"Hey, you may be alpha, but I can still put you in your place."_

_"I hope you always do, Sam."_

He halted his run and I stopped short with him, seeing the sun begin to set over the forest.

_"You're gonna be alright, Jacob. Might not feel like that right now but you will be. You know I'm around if you need me. My door is always open."_

_"I know. Thanks, bro."_

We parted ways once we made it back to the Reservation, the wind shifting as it picked up speed and blew the freshly fallen leaves around me in a whirlwind. I huffed, and stared ahead at the many houses filled with families who were settling in for the night. I turned to head toward the Lumber Yard when an achingly familiar scent filled the early evening air around me. I could barely breathe or think as it filled my senses and rendered me immobile. I soon forced myself forward, taking a few steps as the scent became the only thing I could smell. I huffed, shaking my head violently, trying to clear it, as if it was all in my fucking head again. A figment of my imagination.

_It had to be._

I was really losing my shit here. Not only was I dreaming of her all the time, but now I was smelling her, too. I had taken delusional to a whole new level. For fucks sake! How was this happening to me and why wouldn't it stop?

I shook my head again and took off on a dead run for Billy's, the remaining sun swiftly slipping under the heavy cloud cover and the scent becoming so overpowering that I staggered under it. Visions of her ran rampant through my mind, her face appearing before me so clear that I swore I could_ feel her_ in my bones. The images caused my run to falter and I soon skidded to a stop a few hundred feet before I reached Billy's back yard, taking a moment to try and get my shit together. If I told him, or anyone else for that matter, that I could smell her now, they'd surely have me fucking committed in days.

This was what the true definition of insanity was. I had finally reached that breaking point after all this time and God help me, but did I want to stay here. With her scent this strong lingering out around me.

_Strawberries and vanilla._

The smell that made my very knees buckle and my shredded heart skip a beat and nearly stop. No perfume could touch it because it was _all her and all human. Flesh and blood and warmth._ I had yet to smell anything sweeter. It was everything I craved and everything I couldn't have. I phased back to human form, barely able to focus long enough to mechanically pull on my cut offs and stumble forward, my legs feeling so heavy I could barely take another damn step. Like a flood, every memory I had with her came rushing out over me. Her scent carrying further out to me with another gust of wind. Every breath I took now was filled with her. She was in my veins and I couldn't get her out.

I leaned my back up against the large tree to my left as the many memories of her kept coming, each one of them ripping away another piece of me until I feared nothing would remain.

_My hand catching hers... the way our fingers would lace together whenever one of us could reach for the other... her head on my shoulder... her tears falling when she told me she loved me but that it wasn't enough... the way she felt in my arms, like they were made to hold her, protect her, love her and only her until my last dying breath._

I would have taken my heart clean apart if it meant hers would be fixed. If it meant she would be okay.

I looked up at the sky, seeing the moon begin to shine through the clouds as I slowly stood up straight and tried to trudge forward, my legs still feeling impossibly heavy. The ache in my chest blazed with a renewed fire when I forced myself to move ahead, making it to the tree line of Billy's back yard, my throat tight and my gaze hazy from the tears that I refused to shed anymore.

"Fuck..." I groaned, my whole body trembling as I fought against the wolf who was trying to rip me apart from the inside out. He wanted to run from this like all the other times I'd given him free reign and let him take over the man in me for days on end, just to escape it all. He was ruthless as he tried to force me back on four legs and I let out a pained gasp from the agony that tore through me from my resistance.

The wind blew fiercely around me once more as her scent drenched every part of me and I was on the verge of phasing, clinging to my humanity with bleeding fingertips when the unmistakable sound of her voice carried out to me. The clarity of it forcing me to stop my movements and listen.

"It's really me, dad. I'm really here."

"I've missed you so much, Bella." Charlie replied, his voice strained with emotion.

It was her voice that made me push past the pain of my approaching phase, further angering the wolf when I stepped out of the woods and denied him what he craved most right now. I reluctantly raised my head to see the cherry red Ford that I'd rebuilt for her only a few months ago now sitting in front of Charlie's police cruiser in the gravel driveway. I couldn't bring myself to admit it then, but it had been my way of keeping some small part of her alive and with me. Letting Charlie haul that truck off to the junk yard felt like I was nailing her coffin shut and I just couldn't bring myself to do that. It was parked only a few feet away from dad's wheel chair ramp and I couldn't stop the angry sob that left me from the sight of it, my head falling defeatedly into my hands as I dropped down to my knees there in the grass of the backyard.

"Wake up!" I silently begged into the looming darkness. "Get up! This isn't fucking real. She isn't here."

The only returning sound I heard was the same voice that carried out to me before and this time, it was somehow closer.

"I made Billy promise not to tell. He did well!"

"He sure did! I can't believe you kept this from me!" Charlie replied, emotion still thick in his baritone. "I see you're driving that old truck again? Told ya' I wouldn't get rid of it on ya'! Not after all the hard work Jacob put into it. Can't believe he even went through the trouble of sticking a vanity plate on it."

"I love it. All of it. Thank you for keeping it for me, dad." Bella replied, the sound of her voice so real and so close that I struggled to catch my breath.

My father had been right today. I'd been strong for too long and this was what I got for it. My tormented mind creating a fictitious encounter with her. I cringed and raised my head, staring at the truck only a few hundred feet away from me. The truck I'd spent hours and hours on rebuilding and restoring for her. It was my desperate way of trying like hell to keep any small tangible part of her with me. Any part of her that I could cling to. I stood on what felt like concrete legs, listening closely as the haunting sound of something I knew would finish me off, cut through the madness in my head.

_Her heartbeat..._

Beating wildly against her chest. Every beat more solid than the last and every one punching a new hole clean through me.

I wouldn't survive this. I was fucking sure of it. Not something so vivid and real. There was no way in hell I would resurface from it.

That's when I felt it, the familiar magnetic pull to her that always gripped me hard when she was anywhere near me. I sucked in a sharp breath, turning my head toward the house as her voice surrounded me again.

In all the times I'd dreamed of her, envisioned her, I'd never felt that undeniable pull unless she was really there. Within arms reach of me somewhere.

That wasn't possible.

"I wish he could be here with us, Billy. Are you sure he's not coming by later?" Bella questioned, her tone nervously hopeful and timid when she asked him this.

I took a few more strides toward the house, my gaze glued to that truck, half expecting it to vanish the closer I got to it, but it didn't fucking budge or move and when my hand touched the hood, feeling the warmth under it from the engine, I struggled to remain upright.

Holy shit. This wasn't all in my head. It couldn't be.

I walked toward the front porch, my hand lingering on the door handle as her laughter filled the air. I slowly turned the knob and swung the door open, hearing it creak against the hinges as I silently pleaded with whoever was listening to me from up above that this was real.

Please... please... let it be fucking real. Just this one time. Let it be real.

**A/N: Ah! I know! Please don't kill me for this! BUT I had to end it here because the reunion between them will be well worth another day wait! I promise! I worked on this chapter most of the afternoon and it is now midnight! Please review and tell me your thoughts! I can't wait to hear from you! Thanks so much for all the support on this new story! HAPPY READING! Till Next Time...**


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN**

**(BPOV)**

Charlie held onto me for what felt like forever and I basked in his familiar embrace, his words making me hold him even tighter.

"I didn't know when I'd see you again, Bella. You don't know how long I've been waiting to hug you like this again. I can't believe you're really here."

"I'm really here, dad. It's really me."

I caught sight of Billy's reaction to our reunion, his tears falling as he met my gaze from across the kitchen.

There was a warm knowing smile on his face when Charlie turned and addressed him.

"Did you know all about this? You kept it from me?"

Billy merely nodded and looked my way, his expression full of pride now.

"I made Billy promise not to tell. He did well." I replied, releasing Charlie and seeing the hint of a smile crest his mouth.

"He sure did! I can't believe you kept this from me! I see you're driving that old truck again? Told ya' I wouldn't get rid of it on ya'! Not after all the hard work Jacob put into it. Can't believe he even went through the trouble of sticking a vanity plate on it."

"I love it. All of it. Thank you for keeping it for me, dad."

"Sure thing, kiddo. You guys really pulled one over on me! I had no idea, not even the hint of a clue that you were coming!"

"That's the way I wanted it. So it would be a surprise for you."

"Well, I have to say that this is the best surprise I've had in years. Couldn't ask for anything better!" Charlie replied, placing a kiss to the top of my head and extending a hand to Billy as a sign of his gratitude. Billy firmly shook it with a mischievous grin and nodded his head toward the forgotten boxes of pizza Charlie had abandoned on the couch when he saw me.

"I don't know about you but I'm starving. What do you say we have ourselves some dinner?" Billy hedged, as Charlie retrieved the pizza boxes and handed each of us a plate. I couldn't help but smile and think about how I hadn't eaten a single bite of processed food in years. The Cullen's believed it was best for me to eat only organic and all natural foods and after a while, I had become so used to it that I couldn't even remember what food like pizza or a burger tasted like.

Charlie placed two large slices on my plate and caressed my cheek, his smile truly infectious and heart warming to see.

"I can't tell you how damn happy I am to have you back home, Bella. I've been waiting for a dinner like this with you for too long. I've missed sitting down to have a meal with you. Talking to you over the phone just isn't the same."

"I know, dad. Me too."

I laughed harder than I had in a long time listening to all the stories Billy told over dinner about Charlie's dating life the past few years. He had me in stitches all through our meal and while I enjoyed he and Charlie's fun banter, I found myself constantly looking over at the empty chair across from me where Jacob would've been had he joined us. My heart was heavy knowing I wouldn't get the chance to even see him before heading back home with Charlie tonight and that time, with my ephemeral visit, wasn't exactly on my side here. Billy had let me know he was out on patrol for the rest of the evening with the pack, but part of me wondered if that was even the case.

Maybe Billy was trying to spare my feelings by not telling me where he really was or maybe he knew he was with someone else for the evening? A girl he'd met, someone who'd caught his eye and he'd taken an interest in. Someone who could be what he needed, make his dreams for a future come true and love him the way he should be loved. I pushed down the irrational pang of jealousy and soon took notice of Billy's observant gaze lingering on me.

"Something on your mind, sweet girl? You've grown silent?" Billy questioned.

"I wish Jacob could be here with us, Billy. Are you sure he's not coming by later?"

"No, I'm afraid he'll be out for the night, dear."

"Does he know Bella's in town visiting? I bet if you called him, he wouldn't think twice about canceling his plans for tonight and coming over here for dinner."

"Dad...-" I hedged, placing another piece of pizza on his plate. "It's alright."

"Okay, Okay. I won't push. I know when to butt out!" Charlie relented, his gaze going to Billy before taking his plate from me. "Maybe the two of you will see each other at the reservation BBQ tomorrow? Does Jake plan on coming, Billy?"

"I'm not sure, Chief."

"I thought he always attended that BBQ? Sam and Emily usually come, too."

I saw the hopeful look in Charlie's gaze and turned away from him, pretending to busy myself with clearing the table for Billy. I didn't want either of them to see how much it affected me that he wouldn't be here tonight. Truth was, I had no idea what I was expecting and I didn't know what I'd even say to him if he had been here when I arrived. I had been so overcome with emotion from seeing my truck he'd fixed up for me that I tossed aside all prior reasoning and came straight here on a whim.

What the hell would I say to him? A simple hello would be like a slap in the face after all this time and especially given the way I'd left things with us five years ago. No, saying a rehearsed and empty greeting like that wouldn't do. I nervously tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, as I piled the left over dinner plates in my hands and headed to the kitchen to put them away.

"Jacob's got a lot going on these days. I hope he comes tomorrow, but I just don't know."

"I don't see much of him around lately. Hard to get the guy to even say two words to me before he takes off somewhere. I've sure missed talking to him." Charlie replied, his tone genuine.

I put the last plate away and joined them for some more coffee, answering the many questions they both had about where I'd been living and what my job entailed. I gave them as much information as I could without delving too deeply into things Charlie couldn't know.

"Wow, Bella that sounds like a lot of work." Charlie chuckled. "I'm really proud of you, kiddo. Maybe sometime you and Edward can show me around Georgia? Speaking of that husband of yours, where is he?"

I swallowed hard and glanced down at the nearly forgotten cell phone now in my hands. I had barely even checked it more than once since arriving and while I felt guilty for not sending Edward a text to let him know where I was for the rest of the weekend, I was also too worried about whether or not I'd see Jacob to pay much attention to my phone.

"He's away for the holiday weekend. With the family, dad. He'll be back sometime before Tuesday." I replied, nervously biting down on my bottom lip when I saw Billy suspiciously narrow his knowing gaze in my direction. He picked up on what I wasn't saying. What I didn't have to say.

"Well, too bad you had to fly here alone but I'm so happy you did! They gave you a real nice rental car I see." Charlie sighed, swiftly opening his first can of cold beer.

I nodded and glanced toward the window, the sense of being watched crawling over my skin and making me shudder.

"Getting cold in here, Billy. Maybe add a log to that fire?" Charlie swiftly suggested when he noticed this.

"Sure thing. Jake usually keeps it well stocked, but there should be some wood he's piled by the porch. You mind grabbing a few logs for me, chief? I'd sure appreciate it."

"No problem." Charlie huffed, getting up from his seat and heading for the chilled outdoors. He only made it a few strides before the front door slowly swung open and he halted his steps. I felt the breath leave my body as I followed Billy's apprehensive gaze, seeing the tall figure suddenly emerge from the darkened shadows of the night and step into the glow of light from the kitchen. A gust of cold wind blew in fiercely behind him, stealing the heat from my skin and making me shiver when his dark eyes locked with my own from across the room. Suddenly, all my defenses and walls were nothing more than paper, rapidly crumbling and shredding at the sight of him. Nausea swirled unrestrained in my stomach. My head now swimming with half formed regrets.

I could feel my racing heart pounding hard against my chest, like my blood had become tar, struggling to keep a steady beat as my gaze held his, confusion and disbelief clear on his handsome face.

Nobody spoke at first. The silence so deafening you could hear only the wind howling around the eaves of the house as he took another step inside, his eyes still glued to my own and his body trembling with what I knew were the tremors he was fighting against. I forgot to breathe, my gasp of air loud as I sucked in a sharp breath and held it, his piercing stare holding me captive under it's intensity for what felt like minutes.

I waited, wide eyed with my heart in my mouth as I tried to speak, but nothing came out. I had so much to say and none of the right words in the moment to express it to him. When I needed them most, my words proved to fail me. I'd pictured this very second with him so many times in my head before. All the ways I would greet him and how tight I would hug him. How I'd say I was sorry for the dozens of ways I had screwed up in the past and the present, but now that he was a mere ten feet from me, I couldn't find the courage to do any of it.

I heard the door slam shut as the wind forced it closed and I jumped from the loud sound, my eyes being torn from his when he stepped out around Charlie.

One look from him and it felt like my whole life had fallen in line again. Like the missing piece of me was finally found and put back where it belonged. His movements were slow and deliberate, almost as if he thought that by moving too quickly I'd disappear from him altogether.

He was just as damn beautiful as he ever was. More so even. His skin still the warm russet color it had always been. Every muscle drawn taught and his hair longer than it had been the last time I'd seen him, barely falling into his eyes now when he moved just right. His shoulders were broader and the young softness of his features I'd come to love were all completely gone. Not a trace of the innocent boy who'd pieced my broken heart back together all those years ago remained in him any longer. I carefully studied the changes in him, seeing his firmly sculpted chest heaving from the control he fought to keep as he silently approached me further, his features suspended between disbelief and pain. I stood on legs that felt unsteady, my emotions running high and leaving me feeling exposed, as the tears I tried to stem welled up in my eyes and threatened to spill over at the sound of his strained and husky voice saying my name.

"Bells...-"

The way his eyes roamed over me once... twice... and for a third time told me he didn't believe this was real. That he had seen me in such a way before that was far from his reality. His tone was different with me than it had ever been. It was hallow and disbelieving but pleading at the same time. As if he himself were begging with someone unseen for this to be real. Hearing this come from him gave me the sought after courage to stumble forward and go to him, my haste making me nearly trip over Charlie's empty chair. He was there before I could react further, his arms reaching out to steady me when I regained my footing. I heard the choked breath leave him when his hands gripped my upper arms to prevent me from falling. I stared up into his beautiful face, seeing the shock in his gaze as his eyes drank me in. The sight of his tears made my own drip from my cheeks while the two of us stood there in Billy's kitchen, neither one of us daring to speak or move as time itself seemed to stop. My emotions had turned jagged and my insides tight yet raw, as if a Winter wind was now blowing right through my skin.

I couldn't silence the sob that left me when his hand slowly came up to touch my cheek, his fingertips catching the tears that ran down my face as I leaned into his warm touch. His simple gesture bringing more relief to me than I thought my heart could hold, and before I could move or take in the very air that my body needed, I melted into his form, feeling his warm chest and the heart that beats within it. I had missed his touch so much.

His strong hands moved around to my back, drawing me in closer to him and folding me in his arms, his warmth enveloping every part of me. It's then that I felt my body shake and I'm crying when his hold on me tightened in response. Crying for all the missed time I knew we would never get the chance to make back and crying to release the tension of these five painfully long years. Something I'd been holding inside for far too long. He slowly pulled his head back and I stilled as he ran his hand through my hair, as if he couldn't really believe that I wasn't somehow part of an almost forgotten dream. His face buckled and tears rolled unchecked down his cheeks, washing a path to his chin. Every pretense of mine falls then and the façade that I've been showing the world melts away and all I want to do is stay here with him.

**A/N: Okay I really hope you all enjoyed this reunion chapter for Jacob and Bella! It took me a few extra days cause I needed it to be perfect ;-) Please tell me your thoughts and comments in a review! Thank you so much for all your kind words and support for this new story! xoxo Till next time... New update tomorrow! HAPPY READING!**


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

**(JPOV)**

The coolness of the metal door knob swiftly left my hand as I pushed it open further, taking a step inside the house and letting out a sharp breath when her scent invaded every part of me. I waited for it all to fucking vanish then. To be cruelly ripped away at any moment like it had never been. For the last part of my soul to be savagely torn in half and for her face to disappear with the very next breath I took, because that's what always happened but when my eyes found hers, I knew she wasn't just a memory or another vision. She was_ real_ and she was here, sitting at my fathers kitchen table with an expression on her face that told me she felt just as torn apart and exposed as I did right now.

I felt like I was awake for the first time in months and I was fucking certain that this was either the beginning of something or the ironic end of everything for me.

Please... let it be the_ former_ and not the _latter._ I couldn't withstand it any other way. I knew my limits and this was sure in hell one of them.

I hadn't laid eyes on her since_ that night_ and I drank in the breathtaking sight of her greedily, every damn inch, like a man who had been blind all his life and was now seeing for the very first time with eyes wide open. This caused the wolf in me to fight back harder than before as he tried to force me to submit to his change and run, but I stood firm, refusing to budge while my eyes roamed over her angelic face. I saw the emotion she tried not to show bubble to the surface when I held her gaze longer, the two of us barely breathing as my brain struggled to process what was literally right in front of me.

She hadn't changed. Nothing about her was altered_ by him._ Her skin was the same perfect snow white shade it had always been, her rich brown eyes still alluring, and her hair still that enchanting silky mahogany color that shined whenever the sun touched it. She'd let it grow long, longer than I'd ever seen it on her, and it only made her that much more gorgeous now. Her frame was still small, her jeans and sweater hugging her slight curves in all the right ways and making me struggle to draw in another breath.

I could barely blink.

She wasn't supposed to be here. This didn't make one bit of fucking sense.

She made her choice five years ago when she left with _him_ and since then, I've been waiting for the inevitable phone call to come from a distraught Charlie, telling Billy that she was killed in an accident of some kind. Maybe a vehicle crash or a private jet plane of the Cullen's mysteriously dropping out of the sky with no explanation as to how the hell it happened in the first place. I'd braced myself for that nearly every time the damn phone would ring late at night when I still lived here.

The look on her face was easy to read now. She wasn't ready for me to show up here like this. She wasn't prepared and she somehow knew that I was no longer living with Billy, but the confusion in her gaze told me there was more behind this. That she'd been mislead somehow by someone she trusted. Someone she relied on. Maybe by_ one of them_ even.

I couldn't take my eyes away from hers, my every thought and desire transfixed there as the silence lingered on between everyone in the room. Her heart was pounding, the sound of it's racing beat drawing me in all the more as she stared back at me. I fought against the tremors that were still trying to rule me, taking back my control over the wolf and trying to ignore the heated tears that caused my eyes to sting and my vision to blur.

Her name left my mouth before I had even consciously decided to say it.

"Bells-"

My heart was ready to shatter when she got up from the chair and slowly approached me. Her every move pulling me closer and closer to her like a magnet. I matched her cautious steps, seeing the tears well up in her doe eyes and trickle down her cheeks as she stumbled over her own footing, the sight of it making me instinctively try and catch her. I didn't have time to think or reason. My body reacted and my arms reached to steady her as she stared up at me. I wanted nothing more than to dry those tears and kiss those lips. It was all I could think about. Every wall I'd built up since she'd left came crashing down when my hands took hold of her shoulders, feeling the tangible proof of her very human existence. Her body shook as she let out a sob when my hand slowly reached up to caress her blushed cheek, the ache in my chest ceasing and my own tears falling at the sight of her leaning into my touch. I couldn't stop from running that same hand through her long hair as she buried her face into my chest.

This was real. She was real. We were real in this moment together.

I pulled her to me, my arms tightly wrapping around her shaking frame and holding her to me like she were the only thing keeping me together because right now, she was. If that made me weak, I didn't give a damn. I needed to feel her pressed to me like this and savor the way she clung to me in return.

I tried to form words, but every time I tried, I found it fucking impossible to say the right thing. A million questions were running through my head when I loosened my hold on her from the sound of Charlie clearing his throat beside us. Bella only held onto me tighter in response, her whispered plea making me ignore everything else around us.

"Please don't let me go, Jake. Not yet."

I didn't want to. Not ever again.

"Chief, what do you say we give these two a few minutes? I think the game should be starting soon anyway. We'll check on them in a while." I heard Billy offer from somewhere off in the distance, my eyes locking on Bella's as she lifted her head and nervously searched my gaze.

"Alright, I suppose a few minutes won't hurt anyone." Charlie agreed, slowly following Billy into the living room.

I heard the television switch on, the game loud now when I cradled her face, wiping away the few remaining tears that fell and finding my voice again.

"...you're real." I breathed, seeing her slowly nod to me.

"I'm real."

"How? I thought- I knew you- wh-when you left you-"

"I know what you thought, Jacob. I know I shouldn't even be here, but-"

"I want you here-"

Her face fell when the sound of an incoming call from her cell phone filled the kitchen then, her eyes not leaving mine as it continued to incessantly ring. I cringed as I thought of who it was, my body tensing like I was ready for the blow to come any moment now.

"I want to be here. I've missed you, Jake. So much." She softly admitted, taking a step back and reaching her hand out for mine. I took it, our fingers lacing together the same way they always used to. "I didn't think you were coming tonight. Your dad said you'd be out on patrol."

"I can't believe you're really here." I replied, my thumb now stroking the top of her hand.

"I should have come a long time ago."

She glanced toward the living room and back to me, her head nodding toward the door.

"First Beach?" I suggested, reading her mind as she lightly pulled on my arm.

"Could we?"

I swiftly opened the front door, holding it for her as she eagerly grabbed her truck keys from the table and tossed them to me, her pleading gaze catching mine before she stepped outside into the Fall evening. I followed her, tightly gripping the same set of keys in my free hand that I'd taken when I fixed up her truck this last Summer. The memory making me pause and look at her again when she softly tapped the hood. "You did this for me?"

I managed a nod and stilled when she turned back and threw her arms around my neck, her hold tight just like before.

"Thank you so much. I love it."

…. I love you

I bit my tongue and released her as she opened the driver side door and gestured for me to climb in.

"You first." I countered.

A wide smile lit up her beautiful face and I damn near gasped at the mere sight of it when she climbed in and scooted over to the passenger side. I joined her then, switching over the engine and quickly backing out of Billy's drive. The first stop light we hit, her hand found mine and I squeezed it tight in response, her eyes meeting mine from across the darkened cab of the truck.

"You put so much work into this, Jake."

"It was the last piece I had of you." I truthfully replied.

Bella went silent at this, her lack of reply telling me she already knew my reason for rebuilding this truck of hers.

"All this time you thought-"

"Yes." I hoarsely replied, gently pulling her over into the middle seat when I noticed the shiver that ran through her. "Come here."

It was the most unnerving and yet the most satisfying sense of Deja Vu when she slid herself over and wrapped her arm around mine, our hands still intertwined and her head soon coming to rest on my shoulder. I drew in an unsteady breath, my mind racing with all the reasons she would be here like this now. All of them ending with her saying goodbye and with me destroyed from it.

Was she here to do just that? Say a final goodbye cause we'd screwed it up so fucking bad the last time? Did she come back to put the final nail in her own coffin herself? The nail I couldn't find the courage to drive in? Was that her purpose in coming here? Where the hell had she been all this time and did he know she was here?

I glanced down at her hand, my thumb gingerly running over the delicate tops of her thin fingers and pausing when I noticed that something was missing from it... her wedding ring. I knew she felt my body tense when I hit the brakes and pulled into the parking lot of First Beach, my gaze settling on her face as she looked out to the moonlit sand ahead.

We hadn't been here in forever and I couldn't count the times I'd dreamed of her back on this beach with me the way it used to be and now she was.

I opened the door and got out, waiting for the words that would cut clean through me to come from her... goodbye.

She stared at me, her eyes full of emotion as she stepped out and retook my hand, leading us down the all too familiar path that gave way to our beach.

I spotted the large bone white piece of driftwood we always claimed as our own when here, and pointed it out to her. She drew herself in closer to me and I didn't hesitate to wrap my arm around her shoulders, my throat tight and my dread overwhelming.

I hunkered down at the very end of the wood, seeing her timidly follow suit and glance down at her hands.

"I know there's no excuse for the way I left things with you and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't forgive me for it."

I watched as the moon light touched her face and tried to brace myself for what I feared was coming next.

"I've thought about you everyday." I admitted.

"I should have called or written. Something. My silence left you wondering what really happened and that wasn't fair."

I looked away from her, focusing on the glow of the sand at our feet while she continued.

"...-when I called Billy, I didn't know if you'd be the one to answer or if you'd even want to speak to me after-"

"You called Billy? Did he know you were coming back?"

"I asked him not to say anything. I wanted it to be a surprise for Charlie." She explained.

I slowly nodded, recalling some of what I'd heard before I even believed she was real and not an illusion. I understood her intentions and wondered if that's what Billy had meant by what he'd said before about perfect timing. He'd known she was coming all along.

I shook my head, feeling like an ass for my outburst with him before. He was only trying to help me and I owed him an apology.

I soon raised my head and peered into the eyes that I had only been able to dream of until now, all my defenses being stripped away when I asked her the one thing I was desperate to know.

"Did you come here to say goodbye? Hoping we'd get it right this time around?"

She turned her attention away from the water and stared up at me, her expression unreadable when she heard me ask this.

"...-no, Jake. That's not why I came here."

I let out a sigh of relief and placed my hand under her chin, holding her gaze with my reply.

"Then why are you here, Bells."

Her eyes roamed over my face as she tried to answer me.

"I missed you." She earnestly replied. "I wanted to come back and see you and Charlie, too. I owed him that much."

"...before you change-"

She shook her head to me, nervously running a hand through her hair as it blew in the crisp air around us.

"Jake, I-... I don't want that anymore."

Her words sunk into me with heavy weight and it was all I could do not to grab her and kiss her the way I've ached to since she left, but I didn't move as she stood and wrapped her arms around herself, getting lost in the sight of the water under the nights sky.

I watched her tilt her head back with a contented sigh, her hair cascading down her back as the waves rolled steadily into shore.

My god, was she a sight to behold. After all this time without her, I didn't want to miss a single thing. My gaze took in the smile on her face when she looked over her shoulder and blindly reached back for my hand. I went to her, like a lighthouse calls a sinking ship in a storm home, I gave in. Not caring enough to give a shit that I didn't have nearly half the answers I wanted or that the ring finger on her left hand was now naked. I ran my hand down her arm, catching her wrist and seeing the wolf charm I'd made her still hanging from her bracelet. Something I thought she had long since thrown out or that he'd gotten rid of it on her, but there it was, still adorning her left wrist.

"I kept it. I would never give up something you made me with your own hands, Jake. I've worn it ever since the last time I saw you."

"I thought you would have thrown it away by now."

"Never. I think about you all the time, Jacob. I can't get you off my mind." She truthfully stated, her glossy eyes pulling the truth from me with just one glance.

"Not a damn day goes by that I don't think about you or miss you."

"I had to see you and I know that makes me selfish-"

"Makes you human and I'm so damn glad you're still you." I admitted, my voice breaking on the last word.

My heart warmed as she drew closer to me. Her face so close to mine that I could feel her sweet breath on my lips every time she breathed.

"How long are you staying?" I whispered, already dreading the answer.

"For the weekend." She softly admitted.

"Does he know you're here?"

"No, I didn't tell him. I couldn't."

"He'll come looking for you."

"I know." She defeatedly sighed, her head falling like she were ashamed of herself for lying to him. "I should have told him- but-..."

"Why are you really here, Bells? You didn't stay human and choose differently just so you could have one weekend back in Washington like things used to be. Tell me the truth... please? Just give me that much."

She grew silent while trying to find the right answer, her mouth opening several more times but no words came out as she desperately searched my gaze. As if she were looking for her truth there.

I pulled her into me, seeing the hesitation in her face as she tried to say what was on her mind.

"When I close my eyes, I can still see you walking away that night. With Sam and the others. The look you had and what you said to me. It fills my dreams at night, Jacob. I know that I'm supposed to let you go and leave you alone but I can't. I know I'm the one who told you that I chose him. That what we had wasn't enough, but nothing feels right without you. Like there's a huge piece of me missing. I'm empty and I don't know what to do with that."

Her words made my throat tighten. The sight of her tears causing my own to come back, despite how hard I fought against them.

She'd just described exactly how I'd been feeling without her all this time. Word for word.

"I see you everywhere and I'm empty too."

She sucked in a breath when I wrapped my arms around her as she shuddered. The feel of it making me still when I realized it wasn't from the cold.

Part of me had always hoped that some small part of her felt this way. The same way I did. Shattered, hallow and emptier than she knew what to do with because it would mean that I wasn't fucking crazy after all, and that she needed me just as much as I needed her.

**A/N: Hi everyone! This chapter was supposed to be up two days ago and for that, I am SO sorry! But to make it up to you, there will be another chapter posted tomorrow! Maybe even later on tonight! :-) Please let me know your thoughts in a review for this update! Can't wait to hear from you and thank you for the wonderful support of this new story! Till next time!**


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

**(BPOV)**

The drive home from First Beach was filled with a contented silence, neither one of us wanting to break it while we headed through town. We had stayed on the moonlit sand until I couldn't take the cold anymore, talking and telling the other what the last five years had been like.

Jacob's questions were pointed and I answered them truthfully, leaving nothing out for him to wonder about later on when we were apart. He had spent enough time doing that already and I wanted him to know that my trip back home wasn't something I'd taken lightly. I owed him all the truth I could give and so much more.

"You enjoy being there? At the winery? I gotta admit, I like the name."

"I do enjoy my work, but it's not the same as being here. I had dreams for a career before-"

"... to be a teacher. I remember you mentioning that in the garage once. You really wanted to pursue that before. " He thoughtfully finished, his dark gaze intently studying my expression as I nodded.

"Yeah, at one time that was what I wanted. That feels like forever ago now."

"You still do. It's where your passion is. You'd make a great teacher."

I glanced up, seeing the confident look in his eyes when he stated this to me. He still knew me better than anyone else ever had and I marveled at this. How all our time apart hadn't changed that fact.

"... and being Alpha is yours. That's where the heart of you is. You were born to lead."

"I've screwed that up lately. Let them all down. I should have left things in Sam's hands. They would all be much better off."

His expression hardened and his jaw clenched as he looked out toward the water then. He was guarded with me and I didn't blame him for it. He may have welcomed me with open arms at Billy's but his heart wasn't open like before. I could sense his hesitation in his every word and it made me all the more angry with myself for causing it to be this way. He was unsteady and it was my own doing.

"Don't say that. You're meant to be in that role, Jacob. You always have been. It's in your blood. Who you are."

I watched as he squared his shoulders and avoided my gaze, his eyes focusing on the driftwood beneath us.

"We're all meant for things in this life, but whether or not we choose them is a different story."

The pain I caught in his tone made me visibly wince, my head filling with all the times I'd missed him more than I ever should have. More than I was supposed to and more than I wanted to admit to myself or anyone else. He was on my mind every single day and at night, he had been the face I'd seen before I would close my eyes and give in to my exhaustion once again with an empty space in me that ached for him and him alone.

"Like my choice." I softly asked, feeling the cold cut through me when he got to his feet, his hand coming to tug at the roots of his hair with an exasperated sigh.

"For shit's sake. What the hell are we doing back here at our beach? What is this? Do you even know what seeing you back here after all this time feels like for me? Do you?"

I drew in a shaky breath, hearing the anger and hurt in his strained voice when he sharply turned back to face me before continuing.

"...you can't fucking know. How the hell would you!? Why did you wait this long? I've walked around thinking you were one of them ever since that night. I followed that car until I couldn't, Bella. Until you were out of sight with him. That was supposed to be it. You made a choice and you didn't choose me. I tried to show you. I tried to tell you. We were meant- we should have been-... it wasn't meant to be like this. I couldn't make you love me and now you're here telling me you know you're supposed to let me go but you don't know how? You're not the only one, Bella! I've tried. Shit, I really have. You don't even know. I've been alone in my fucking head all this time. Seeing you places where you really weren't. Having nightmares of you that felt so real I hated to even close my eyes some nights!"

I stood from the piece of driftwood and tried to push down the emotion that choked me from his words. None of them were wrong and I knew he needed me to hear it. This was his truth and I wasn't going to cower away from it like I had before. That selfish and blind person didn't exist anymore.

"You're right, I don't know what you've been through because I left you here and I chose a different life. A life I thought I wanted-"

"... thought you wanted?" He questioned, barely able to look at me now.

"It was selfish and I don't expect you to-"

"...forgive you!?" He sharply interjected. "How can I blame you for choosing what you wanted!? For choosing that life with him because that's what your heart really desired!?"

I shook my head, feeling my body tremble as I thought of the Volturi and the deal I'd made with them. The deal that had made me turn away from him and choose Edward.

Jacob read my silence, the same as he always did, his eyes searching mine when he suddenly closed the distance between us.

"... I know you're angry and hurt and I deserve that from you because it was me who left."

"You chose what you wanted." He repeated, his eyes narrowing when I tried to turn from him. He caught my arm before I had the chance and spun me around, my resolve slipping further when his face inched closer and closer to my own. "Don't do that. Tell me that you chose him because that's what you wanted, Bella."

I stared up at him, the sound of the waves crashing into shore now matching the sea of emotions trying to drown me as I struggled to keep the last shred of truth from him. Something I hated and something I didn't want to hide anymore. The silent plea in his gaze made it all the harder for me not to tell him.

"When you kissed me before the newborn battle. I felt everything. Saw everything... with you."

"You never said-"

"I couldn't." I replied, pulling my arms from him and shivering from the cold.

"What-..."

"Jake, please. You wouldn't understand."

"...because you never gave me the chance to. Try me."

I headed for the trail that lead back to my truck, my unwillingness to admit this last bit of truth to him only making me feel that much worse, like a hole had been punched through me. He deserved more than that and I knew it.

It wasn't long before I reached the parking lot, my hand gripping the door handle when his voice close behind me halted my movements.

"Did you see them? The children we were supposed to have? A little girl who looked just like you and a boy whose eyes were like mine?"

I couldn't move or think or even draw in another breath as he went on, his words getting closer with every step he took toward me.

"... is that what you saw on the mountain that day? The future that was meant to be ours? The house our children would grow up in or the yard they would play in and run to you from?"

My heart painfully clenched with his every word, recalling the dozens of times I'd woken up in the night after dreaming of the kind of future with him he was describing now. I didn't answer him because I couldn't.

"You wanna know what it's been like for me since you left?"

"Jacob-"

"It's been empty and dark. I waited for you to call. For fucking months, Bella. I couldn't even hear your name. Just the mention of it tore me open. Do you have any idea how hard that's been for me? I can barely speak to Charlie because one look at him and you're all I see or feel. I held out the hope that maybe you'd at least want to say good-bye but after the first year came and went, I knew you had to be one of them and I hated the very idea of you being forever stuck in time. Never having a future to look forward to. Never experiencing what it would be like to have children and watch them grow, but I had to accept the fact that you'd chosen it to be that way. It was what you wanted because we weren't enough-"

"You were enough for me, Jacob. You were."

I forced myself to turn back and face him when I felt the heat of his piercing gaze, my very skin heating from the fire behind it. He waited for me to finish as he fought off the tremors that tried to rule him and force his phase. I went to him, reaching for his hands and seeing the tremors subside when he laced his fingers with my own. He pulled me close to him and I didn't resist as the words I'd been struggling to say filled the night air.

"I did see them and I _still_ see them."

**A/N: Hi all my awesome readers! As promised, here is another chapter update. It is a bit short but there's more to come this weekend! Tomorrow's going to be a big day of writing! Till then... Please leave your thoughts in a review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

**(JPOV)**

The town was desolate as we headed back for Billy's. Everyone safely tucked inside and asleep at this late hour. It was fast approaching midnight, the street lights casting shadows down the empty roads that led us back to the Reservation. Bella hadn't spoken since we'd left First Beach and I couldn't get the last thing she said to me out of my head.

_I did see them. I still see them._

The look in her eyes made me know it was true. She'd seen the future we we're supposed to have and that gutted me in ways I couldn't put into words because that meant that even after seeing this, she'd still chosen_ him_ and married _him._

I rounded the last corner before we reached the Reservation, carefully hitting the brakes when I felt her stir next to me as her head fell on my shoulder. She was fast asleep, her arm wrapping itself around my own as she curled herself further into my side. I slowed the truck to a crawl, soon coasting into Billy's driveway and turning off the engine. I looked down at her face, taking in every perfect feature it held and wishing I could stop time for the two of us. I gripped the steering wheel tightly in my hand as Billy appeared by the front door, wheeling himself out to see me there. His gaze met mine under the hazy glow of the porch light and he nodded to me when I didn't budge. His look full of genuine understanding when I opened the drivers side door, pausing at the sound of her murmur.

"My Jacob."

I stilled there, one hand wrapped around hers and the other remaining on the door handle. I cussed under my breath, hating how fucking hard it was for me to end the night with her because I knew what that meant.

We were down to one more day before everything would go back to the way it was. Before she would return to that life with _him_ and this visit would be nothing more than a distant memory for her to recall every now and again. Pain tore its way through me from just the thought.

I pushed back the choking feeling that was trying to suffocate me when I looked down at the clock radio, noting it was officially midnight now and the start of another day already. I had never loathed the approaching dawn like I did right now. I just wanted it to stop. I wanted more time with her. I needed that like I needed air.

Time... such a short and seemingly simple word, a fleeting request really, but still hard as hell to come by and right now, the only fucking thing I wanted more than anything else.

I looked up to see Billy still there watching me when I tried to wake Bella, despite how much I didn't want to and how bad I wanted nothing more than for her to stay here with me. Selfish and unrealistic as hell maybe, but what I desired nonetheless.

I took one last look at her pretty face, my eyes focusing on those soft pink lips of hers and my heart painfully clenching as I thought of the last time I'd kissed her. How I'd poured everything into that kiss on the mountain and how I knew she'd felt everything I had. Every ounce of desire and need and longing when her lips met mine. I continued to stare at the most gorgeous woman I'd ever laid eyes on while she slept. The only one who had my heart or ever would. My soul felt as if it was still shredding and screaming out in agony from the way she'd left things.

I swore to God I could see it all. Four kids and no sleep. Waking up with her pressed to me every morning, her face the first and last thing I'd see each day.

She would never have to change for me because I wouldn't want her to. I'd let her be who she was. Let her grow and discover herself and I would have supported her with whatever dream she wanted, whatever life she craved. I would have given her the time to do things her way, find out what works for her and what doesn't in this life. That's the way it should have been. I would never have coaxed her into a marriage she wasn't ready for, or manipulated her to be with me or worse even, make her choose a life that ripped her away from her family and anyone that ever mattered to her. Choosing death over any kind of a life.

I could have been what she needed. The one to take her on new adventures, encourage her to experience new things and still remain true to herself because who she was didn't need to be fixed or adjusted, she just needed to be loved the right way and I wanted that person to be me.

I wanted to be there for her firsts and her lasts, to be there when life got hard and when the days had been too long. I wanted to be the one she ran to when she needed a set of arms to hold her, protect her, love her through things that were meant to break her in this world. I pondered this as a still small voice rang clear through my head.

_She did come running back and she came running to you._

"Why?" I whispered into the darkness then, not even sure exactly which question I was asking first.

_Why the hell weren't we enough for you? Why wasn't I enough? Why the hell are you back here now? Why is this so hard? Why did you have to choose him? Why the fuck are you doing this to me again? _

I must be a sucker for punishment.

She'd hurt me so many times. In ways I didn't even think possible for her to hurt me and yet here I was giving her another chance to do it all over again.

What the hell was I doing? How screwed up was this?

"Bella-..." I sighed, my strained tone exuding all of the emotional anguish I was feeling right now.

I only had to say her name once before her sleepy gaze met mine. The dark circles under her eyes letting me know that I wasn't the only one who couldn't get a full nights sleep anymore. She looked beat and I fought hard against the urge to scoop her up in my arms, the way I would have if she were mine, take her inside and lay her down on the couch so she could get the rest she needed. That wasn't my place anymore though, and I wasn't sure that it had ever been to begin with, but it didn't stop the longing in me to do so. To take care of her.

"I fell asleep? Where are we?"

"Yeah you did. We're back at Billy's. It's past midnight." I replied, reaching out a hand to help her out of the truck.

She glanced toward the house and back to me, her hesitation clear as she reluctantly slid her hand in mine.

"I know you probably have to get to the pack? For patrol?"

I nodded and gave her back the keys to her truck as we headed for the house, her steps slow when she felt me pull my hand away from hers.

"I need to get going."

I saw the hurt cross her face then, her arms wrapping around her stomach as she nervously held my gaze, the two of us unable to find the right words.

"Be safe."

"Always am."

"I know, but still." She offered, her voice wavering with a slight shrug. "I think about that a lot, you know? Something happening to you. Scares me."

"I'm careful. Same as I always was."

"I wasn't implying that you weren't." She challenged, her eyes now locked on her hands as she uneasily fidgeted with her fingers, the tension in the air swiftly becoming rife.

I hated the act we were stupidly trying to keep up here, naively pretending that after our last few heated words to one another on First Beach, we were now fine and copacetic with where that fucking left us. It was a damn joke. Feeling this separated from her, when she was standing right in front of me, was not only painful, but cruel in it's own way. There were too many things left unsaid between us. Too many missed chances and too many regrets. Our talk on the beach had proven to only drive us further apart and it had nothing to do with the physical distance this time like before. There was something in her gaze that told me she wasn't being fully honest and it was enough to make me almost lose my shit on the ride home. It was painful as hell and maddening, like there was glass between our touch now.

Didn't she understand how much I needed her to tell me everything? How much I'd ached before to just see her one more time, hear her voice and feel her in my arms again, but there was a piece of herself she was keeping from me. I could feel it in the core of who I was. Sense it, every time her eyes would search mine. I knew her better than she knew herself sometimes. That hadn't changed. We didn't have time for this bullshit and I wasn't going to pull and prod the truth from her. That was a game I had no interest in playing. She would have to be the one to trust me enough with it to tell me and if she couldn't, than we were far more shattered than I even thought. Despite everything, I always assumed that she still knew me just as well as I knew her. That she knew she could trust me with everything. Tell me anything.

Fuck...

I'd lay my life down for her in an instant. Anything to keep her safe. She had no idea how deep that devotion ran for me. What lengths I'd go to just to be sure she was out of harms way.

I wasn't strong enough to keep pretending with her. I had one damn day left and I needed it to count.

Damn it...

I loved her and who the hell ever said that love should break us when we fall? It was meant to make us better for the other and pull out the very best parts of us, but here we were facing the same damn problem as we always had. Her avoiding the truth and me paying the price for it.

I didn't want us in that screwed up pattern anymore and I wasn't going to be the stupid schmuck who only got the mere crumbs of her honesty when she felt like it.

I felt my frustration peak as I turned away from her and headed for the bordering tree line, my tremors already rocking through me as I stormed off.

"Thank you for taking me to our beach." She faintly sighed, the trembling in her voice stopping me dead in my tracks when I heard it. I tried to keep going, to not give in to what every part of me was screaming to do, but what was left of my resolve was slipping further and further away with every passing second.

I looked over my shoulder, seeing her now standing on dad's wheel chair ramp as she slowly headed for the house, her hands skimming over the fresh wood there. Billy had long since gone back in the house, but I knew he was listening just on the other side of that door.

"Of course." I sighed, flexing my hands into fists at my sides as the tortured silence continued to linger on between us.

"When will you be back?" She asked, her voice soft and timid.

I hung my head in defeat and slowly turned myself around to face her. "Not till dawn. I should've been there already to relieve some of the others."

"I'm sorry I kept you." She replied. "I didn't mean to make you-"

"You didn't. It's alright." I assured her, seeing her push open the house door, her gaze downcast.

I was losing this battle and I knew it. The never ending battle raging on inside me between sensible and reckless, between stupid and logical. I tried to deny it, but the truth was, reckless and stupid were beginning to win out here.

"Will I see you again before-"

Her question set fire to my insides, ripping open the already gaping hole in my chest just a little bit more and it was enough to make me gasp aloud. The sound catching her attention as she stilled there on the porch, her gaze peering out to me through the darkness.

_You have no idea how much I need you. _

I took a few strides her way, my hands twitching to just touch her again as I held her stare.

"Bella...-"

"This is the way it was before, isn't it?"

"What?" I countered, unsure of what she meant.

"... after the newborn battle when you were hurt. You needed space from me. This feels the same. I understand if you-" She softly stated, swinging the door open wider and turning to head inside with Billy and Charlie. I instantly recognized the utter defeat in her hollow tone when she said this to me and I swore I could hear the sound of my own fucking heart screaming out again, as it threatened to shatter once more. Her words made me struggle to concentrate on anything else, everything around me now suddenly sounding distant, as if any and all surrounding noise was coming from the far end of a long tunnel. I could hear her heart hammering away violently in her chest while she stood there only a few feet from me, her breaths coming out in soft pants as her watery eyes locked on my own. The wind blew her beautiful mahogany locks around wildly, laying them over her shoulders in disarray, as she pulled the sleeves of her cream sweater down around her tiny wrists in an attempt to ward off the chill. I continued to stare at her, completely lost in my own pain at the mere sight of her turning herself further away from me.

_Holy shit._

How could she not see that I was hanging on by a damn thread here? Fucking inches from bursting into flames. How could she not know how empty I was without her? The both of us were overthinking everything and I'd had enough of it. This wasn't what I wanted for us. Not even close. She'd been gone from me for five long years and I'd spent everyday of that time missing her so much that I'd seen her everywhere and felt her in every single thing I did.

I crossed the yard then, giving up entirely on anything sensible and taking the porch steps two at a time. I heard her breath hitch when I approached her, her head turning when my hand firmly caught the house door and slammed it shut, stopping her from going inside.

"Tell me why." I harshly demanded, seeing her face pale when she tried to avoid my gaze.

"Why-?" She stammered in response, her expression full of confusion as she moved herself even closer to me. The sweet smell of her alone enough to cloud my judgement.

"You know exactly what I'm asking."

She nodded, her eyes filling with the tears she tried to hide from me. I held the door closed, knowing if given the chance, she'd go inside and avoid this again. I wasn't giving her that opportunity. I needed some damn answers and I was going to get them.

"Please don't-" She began, but I didn't let her plea deter me.

"When did we get here? When did you decide that I wasn't worth your trust or honesty, Bella? There was a time you told me everything. What the hell changed that for you? Did I do something to-"

"No." She breathed, lurching herself forward when I started to pull away, the pain in her gaze making it hard for me to stay angry with her for long. "It wasn't you, Jake. It was never you-"

"Then what was it? I need you to tell me the truth. All of it." I replied, my tone still firm with her, but less heated than before.

She looked at me like she was lost. Stuck somewhere between whole and half truth and only one of those worked for me.

I shook my head and pulled away from her then. My haste in doing so making her reach for me before I could get far.

"No, don't leave. Please don't go."

"Why? What the hell are we doing? I can't keep going through this with you. It's obvious you don't trust me enough to tell me-"

"That's not-..." She tried to deny.

"Yes it is." I angrily countered.

"You don't un-" She began to argue.

"Don't tell me I don't understand!"

I could feel my anger and frustration rising with every word and loaded glance we exchanged, her face now flushed and her eyes still glossy.

"You really don't." She weakly replied.

I swallowed hard, removing her hand from my arm as I backed further away from her. I painfully watched as the tears slid down her cheeks in a steady flow, the sight of them making me long to comfort her the way I always had, but I couldn't cave like that this time. As hard as it was for me, I stood firm and pushed back the urge to pull her into my arms and hold her.

"I'm sorry I'm not the kind of person you can confide in and trust anymore." I stated, turning on my heel and heading down over the steps again. Every step I took away from her hurt me far worse than she could ever know and when her hand urgently caught mine just as I reached the forests edge, I barely had the strength to look at her.

"You will always be that person for me, Jacob. I still trust you. I'm so sorry."

I stilled my movements as she stepped in front of me, her body trembling as she fought for composure. When I peered into her red rimmed gaze again, I could see that she was really struggling to say this to me, to finally admit whatever it was that had plagued her all this time. A solid and heavy weight pressed down on my chest, making it hard for me to breathe while I waited for her to say something. My stomach now twisting with fear from the many possibilities of what this truth of hers would do to our already shredded relationship. I knew the both of us were barely hanging onto the other at this point, desperate to find a way to mend what had been lost over the last five years, while still holding onto the hope that this wasn't the end.

"I don't want to do this anymore." She suddenly cried, almost caving in on herself and her voice hitching on the last word. "I- I can't-..."

Her head fell into her hands with a body wracking sob then, the force of her cry making her sink down in front of me. I caught her before she could fall to the ground, the sound of her anguish tearing it's way through me like a jagged knife.

Her pain was my pain.

"Bells-..."

"I don't want to lie anymore. It's not fair to you. I should have been honest from the start."

She shook like a leaf as she tried to continue, her tears making it hard for me to catch her words.

"I didn't want it to be like this but I knew what would happen if I went back on my word to them. I couldn't do that to you or the pack. It was a deal I made and you shouldn't have to pay the price for it. I couldn't let that happen. The volturi would come after me and everyone I loved. I had no choice."

I struggled like hell to understand as I took her in my arms and held her close, any remaining anger slipping away from me in an instant. This was ripping her apart.

"I'm so sorry. It was you, Jacob. I chose you."

**A/N: I know it's late at night for an update but what can I say? I'm a night owl! Please leave me a review and tell me what your thoughts are on Bella's choice to finally tell Jacob the truth. Thank you for all the wonderful support and thoughtful reviews for this new story! Can't wait to hear from you! There will definitely be another chapter posted tomorrow! :-) Till Next Time...**


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

**(JPOV)**

I was utterly numb hearing her endless sobs as she spilled everything to me, like a running river's current that couldn't be stopped once it had started. My insides were in chaos, a complete mess as she tried to regain some of her composure, her breathing uneven and the pain she felt etched prominently in her face. I sunk down in the dewy grass with her, the weight of her words plowing into me with the force of a fucking freight train.

"It wasn't supposed to be this hard. I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving you alone and letting you find what you deserved. Someone who could love you right, Jacob. I knew it would hurt. That leaving you behind would be the hardest thing I'd ever do, but I didn't know that after all this time, I would still miss you with every part of me. That I wouldn't be able to sleep without seeing you, dreaming of you, of what we could have been." Her breath hitched as she tried to continue. The feel of her shaking in my arms making her seem so damn fragile now, like blown glass that would shatter into a million pieces if moved the wrong way. I pressed her tighter to me, not caring enough to give two shits about the fact that she wasn't mine or the disdained fact that she was still married to that_ manipulative ass._ She was as broken as I'd ever seen her and every fiber of my being ached to fix it, even though I myself felt just as fucking lost and undone right now. "I'm so sorry."

This wasn't the soft kind of cry I'd heard come from her before, like when we'd danced together in the darkened forest on her wedding day, no... this was the kind of cry that came from somewhere deep inside her. From a part of her that had held onto all this for too long, buried it until she couldn't, until she was suffocating from it.

All I could do was hold her as she wept, my own emotions causing my throat to grow tight when she pressed her face into the groove of my neck, whispering more of her own truth to me.

"I didn't want you to go. That night, with Sam and the rest of the pack at my wedding. I almost begged you to take me away from it all, but I knew what that would've meant and I couldn't stand the thought of them taking vengeance out on you and the whole pack. So, I kept up the act. It was wrong. I know that now. I've always known." She paused and peered up at me then, her face still wet with her tears and her gaze reminding me of the kind of torment I'd been feeling without her all this time. "I hurt you by leaving and I'm sorry, Jacob. I should have been honest with you from the start. I should've told you the truth."

I couldn't even begin to string together the damn words that I needed in order to form a reply to her. I was still reeling from what she was saying. I felt her slowly pull back, her watery eyes meeting mine and peering straight into my soul. "You were always enough for me. I wasn't enough for you. I was the one who left without even saying goodbye and without telling you the truth, but I'm telling you now. You were the one I wanted. The one I saw myself married to. The one who always knew me best. I wanted what I saw in that vision when you kissed me on the mountain to come true and I'm so sorry that I never gave us the chance to have it."

I swallowed hard and tucked her head under my chin, feeling her shiver, despite my closeness, when the wind picked up around us. We'd been out her a while and she was emotionally spent. I looked toward the tree line, my eyes catching sight of a familiar form watching us there. The hint of tan and silver fur that shined in the moonlight was what caught my attention first. It was Paul. He had come looking for me when I hadn't shown for the switch off from patrol at the lumber yard. He stepped out from the cover of the dense forest just enough for me to catch sight of his nod toward Billy's, a soft huff coming from him before he abruptly turned and took off back into the woods without a backwards glance.

I could tell by the lack of shock in his wolf gaze, even from this far off, that he somehow already knew Bella was back in town and that he wasn't surprised or even pissed off that I'd neglected covering the scheduled patrol shift for the night. I let out a sigh and spoke for the first time after hearing all she'd said to me.

"You're freezing, honey. The air is too cold for you to be out here this long." I hedged, feeling her lean back from me with a devastated look on her beautiful face. Recognition sinking in when a lone tear slid down her cheek. I'd called her honey. The sentiment leaving my lips just as casually as it used to.

"I know you have somewhere to be-..."

"No, I'll square things with the pack in the morning."

"But I thought-"

"You're where I want to be right now." I replied, getting to my feet and pulling her up with me. She stared up at me in confusion when I laced my fingers through hers. "Will you come with me somewhere? It's not far. I know you're cold."

"Of course." She replied, wiping away the last few tears that fell and letting me lead her into the forest. I took her down through the well known trail that led right to Sue's old place, my desolate place of residence.

Bella stayed close to me, her heart racing when we soon broke free from the trail. She stopped walking then, her gaze going straight ahead to take in the fixer upper I now called home.

I felt her hand tighten in mine when I approached the warn out steps that led to the front door. The porch light was still on, the sight of it making me think back to what Billy had said to me just the day before.

_You leave that light on for her, just in case she comes back._

She stilled there on the porch with me, her eyes glossy again when they met mine.

"I know it's not much-"

"... but it's yours, Jacob?"

I nodded to her, waiting for the disappointment to cross her face when I switched on the small overhead light in the kitchen so she could see, but it never came.

She stood next to me, her gasp audible when she stepped over the threshold and looked around.

"It still needs a lot of work." I explained, watching her hand lightly graze over the wooden table in the kitchen I'd added to the place a few weekends ago.

"You made this, didn't you?"

"Yeah, needs to be stained."

"It's perfect. Your work is beautiful."

_You're beautiful._

"How long have you been here?" She timidly asked.

"Long enough that I should be further along in the renovation than this." I sighed, glancing around at the unfinished counter tops and cabinets. Everything torn out and empty.

"I think it's great."

"You're being kind." I countered, tossing a log in the small fireplace and lighting it to erase some of the cold from the room.

"No, I'm being truthful."

I slowly turned to see her admiring the table again, like it was some damn masterpiece. I'd thrown it together just so I'd have some place to eat other than the old sofa in the living room, but she saw something more in it that I clearly didn't.

"There's been a lot of that tonight." I admitted, my voice sounding unfamiliar even to myself now.

The fire rose and the light from it's rapid flame touched her face when she entered the room, the sight of her making me pause there by the old mantle when her eyes held my own. Her steps were timid as she looked around, her expression weary now like she were unsure of herself. I saw her firmly swallow, her gaze wandering to the fire as the tension filled silence settled over the already vacant room. I tried like hell, but couldn't keep myself from holding her gaze longer than I should have. Long enough for the desire in me for her to be fueled to new heights and for the sound of her shallow breathing to make me hard against the zipper of my jeans.

I stared at her, still unbelieving that she was right in front of me now. In this empty house I'd nearly grown to hate. That she was tangible and not an apparition that had come to torment me into believing that she was actually real when she wasn't.

I stilled when she approached me, her steps cautious and slow and each one of them only making me want her more. This was torture in the sweetest sense of the word.

**A/N: Hello again to all my fantastic readers! I know, I know! What a way to leave ya' hanging BUT no worries cause there will be anther update posted TONIGHT! For now, it's off to work I go! Please leave me a review and tell me your thoughts on this chapter! :-) Till next time... HAPPY READING!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the Twilight Saga Series or the characters within it's content. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers. She owns them all. **

**A/N: Alright, this chapter is a whole day late and I am so sorry for that BUT I tried to make it up to all of you by making this update really long! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and please leave me a review at the end telling me your thoughts on it! I love hearing from each one of you! :-) HAPPY READING! Till Next Time...**

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

**(BPOV)**

I hadn't meant to tell him everything the way I did, to have it all rush out of me like that. It wasn't part of my plan but once I started, it was as if I couldn't stop from spilling the rest of the truth to him. I'd kept it bottled inside so long that it had become physically painful for me to not tell him everything. The way he looked at me when I was standing on Billy's porch, with such disappointment and longing in his gaze, it made me realize how much I owed him that truth now. After everything, it was the least I could offer him. I knew I couldn't erase the past five years for either of us, or turn back the hands of time like I desperately wanted to, and make the choice my heart had been calling out for since his lips had claimed mine before the newborn battle.

Admitting it all to him had been so hard for me and I knew he was struggling to process it still. I could see it in the way he carried himself, his body riddled with a nearly visible tension that weighed him down. I could hear it in his voice even, in the hoarse and strained way he spoke to me, like he were barely clinging to any sort of sanity that remained in him after all this time. One look at him from across the room and it was clear that he was just as damn worn out in every sense of the word as I was. The both of us emotionally drained and pushed far past our own limits a long time ago. I was so tired and so torn when he asked me to go somewhere with him but I didn't want the night to end that way. With the two of us feeling shattered, exposed and still so confused.

We were running out of time and that fact made my stomach painfully knot and twist.

The inside of Sue's old home was barely recognizable from the changes that came with the half finished renovation Jacob was still doing, and I couldn't help but notice how very empty and cold the place felt. The desolate sense of it making me hurt worse for him than I knew possible. It didn't matter how much work the place still needed, it was his and it made me more proud of him than I could say. Jacob wasn't one to procrastinate or terry with projects, especially when it came to fixing things and using his hands. He was a master craftsman in my opinion. He'd rebuilt my old truck like a pro and was always on top of things at Billy's when they needed some sort of repair, like the wheelchair ramp he'd recently fixed. He never had any problems with putting the extra work into something when it was required. So, it didn't make any sense to me that he'd left the inside of this place so undone. I struggled to keep my composure when I'd seen the table, knowing he had built it with his own hands. It was the only real piece of himself in here and I felt my heart break a little bit more when I realized he had done this intentionally. He didn't want this place to feel like home, because it wasn't that for him and I think deep down he feared it never would be. That it would remain untouched like it was and would be nothing more than a place for him to lay his head at night for a few short hours.

_It's not his home because you're not here with him..._

I forced back the tears as I pondered this, my hand lightly touching the top of the table and marveling at his fine talent. A talent he had no idea he even possessed. He dismissed his work as meaningless when it was the exact opposite of that. It held far more meaning than he knew. I stared down at the beautiful wood work below me, seeing the particular patterns in the grain as a distant memory from a dream I'd had years ago came back fresh to me. Jacob was hunkered down on the floor, his strong hands skillfully piecing together a crib in a nursery I'd painted a pale yellow. His smile was wide when he glanced up at me, hammer in hand and pride etched in his handsome face while he worked tirelessly to finish it. In the dream, I'm sitting in an old wooden rocking chair, happily watching him do what he loves until my eyes grow heavy and I feel his arms scoop me up and carry me out of the room. His words spoken so softly to me then that I remembered them still to this day. "You're my dream come true, sweetheart. The both of you are."

That dream had felt so real to me when I'd first had it that I remember not being able to stem the tears when I awoke and locked myself in the bathroom, hiding it all away from Edward and feigning sick to excuse my sudden rush out of the room. It had rattled me and I couldn't stop thinking about it for weeks after.

I was pulled out of my memories by the sound of Jacob tossing a log into the empty fireplace in the living room. The cold in the house making me shiver as I turned and approached him, my hesitant steps causing him to glance up and meet my gaze while the fire blazed. I couldn't look away from him even if I wanted to. His stare was piercing and loaded, as if he couldn't form the words he needed or wanted to say, so he put it all out there for me to see in the only way he could. I knew the feeling.

_Say Something._

We were both drowning in all this. Neither one daring to say what was now running through our heads. The truth I'd revealed was trying to suffocate us both now, causing a heady tension to fill the empty space between us while we stood there feeling stuck in this impossible situation.

_I'm leaving him again tomorrow and I hate it..._

Jacob eyes roamed over me once, the look he wore caught up somewhere in the triangle of desire, indecision and finally regret. His mouth not once opening to speak a single word to me, but I read it all in his dark eyes.

_I want you._

_Nothing comes close to the way that I need you._

_Stay here with me if only for the night._

I'd never seen him look as uncertain of himself as he did right now. His body rigid and unyielding as he peered right through me. I felt vulnerable and raw from everything as I shivered again, drawing in another shallow breath. The events of the whole evening wearing me down to a new level of thoroughly exhausted. I watched his sculpted chest rise and fall as he drew in a sharp breath and broke our stare, his attention going back down to the fire.

I blinked and leaned my back up against the wall, feeling my legs want to give out as my eyes wandered over him further, taking the time to drink in all of his breathtaking perfection. The muscles in his arms and chest bulging when he reached down and picked up a few more logs on the floor next to the fireplace. He had changed so much in some ways and had stayed the exact same in others. Like the way he could never mask what he really felt for long, how his every emotion would inevitably creep into his features and reveal themselves there whether he wanted them to or not, or how his concern was never for himself first but always for those he cared for. How he would put their needs above his own, doing so for all that had ever been lucky enough to get his love in this life. No matter who they were, even for someone like me. For someone as selfish and as hurtful with my actions as I'd been, and even in the mess I'd created, he cared enough to be sure that I got out of the cold. I cherished those parts of him. The parts that hadn't been ripped out yet from the destructive damage I'd caused. The parts that still made him who he was and who I loved far more than I should.

Keeping what I had from him all this time had undoubtedly broken our trust and I greatly feared that I would never even have the chance to earn it back or repair it. Without trust, we had nothing because love couldn't exist without it. That just wouldn't be possible. He had always been my very best friend, my confidant, my eternal refuge and a haven for my soul. The thought of leaving things like this with him gutted me.

I glanced down at my left hand, slowly flexing my fingers and biting down on my bottom lip as I thought of the missing wedding ring that was supposed to be there.

Jacob took notice of this and I stilled, my breath hitching from nervousness when he rose from the fireplace and nodded toward me.

"Where is it?" He softly asked and I swallowed thickly from the pain still lingering there in his husky voice. It wasn't lost on me that I couldn't even bring myself to look him in the face when I replied.

"I took it off."

His returning question to me was simple and hoarse when he spoke it.

"Why?"

Try as I may, I didn't have an answer for him. At least not the right one. How the hell do you justify an action like that to begin with? Anything I said to him would be received as nothing more than excuses or lip service. It was pointless to try.

_I wasn't supposed to be here with him._

We were reeling and hurting and what really scared the hell out of me more than anything else was how much I yearned to have his arms around me.

I could feel his eyes on me while he waited for me to offer up some kind of answer, sensing my struggle when the deafening silence fell over the room. I raised my head and saw him suck in another ragged breath when my eyes met his once more. This was so damn hard. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Like there were oceans between us even though we were only a few feet from each other. This was hell. Every part of it. He wanted the kind of answers I myself didn't even have and I knew how unbelievably unfair that was to him.

I was beginning to fall apart again, my overall exhaustion making me nauseas and unsteady on my feet. I'd been up for hours on end and my head was whirling, but I continued to try and fight it off, not wanting to waste the little time we had left on something so trivial as sleep. I swayed on my feet, my hand pressing against the wall to regain my balance.

Jacob pushed himself away from the mantle and crossed the room, his warm hands running up my arms to steady me as I tried to shake my head to him in protest of what I already knew he was going to say.

"It's almost three in the morning and you've had a hell of a long day. You gotta get some rest. When was the last time you ate something?"

"I'm okay. I had something at your dads earlier."

I watched as his brow furrowed in concern, his hands caressing my forearms when I continued to shiver.

"That was almost ten hours ago." He sighed to me in disapproval. "Sit down on the couch and I'll make you something. What do you feel like having?"

"You're offering to cook?" I balked, with an amused and tired smile to him.

"Yeah, I am. I cook a lot now. Guess I had to find my way around the kitchen more when I moved out. I cooked for dad before but not often. Sue usually took care of that for us. She still does, but I can throw together some pretty kick ass dishes these days."

He chuckled to me then as a faint blush crept up on his face with his admission of this. I couldn't stop the wide smile that touched my own mouth in response to the sight of it. It was the first time I'd heard his hearty chuckle in years and I loved the sound of it. His smile was just as intoxicating and infectious as it ever was.

"I'll take whatever you feel like having. I'm not gonna eat alone. So... better cook enough for the both of us."

He nodded and snatched the blanket from the end of the sofa, wrapping it around my shoulders and gesturing for me to take a seat there. I did so without any further protest. I could hardly keep my eyes open as I sunk down into the cushions and listened to him shuffling about the kitchen, the sound of clanging pots and pans only making me grin as I thought of how long it had been since we'd shared any kind of a meal together. It wasn't long before the mouth watering aroma of marinara sauce filled the house, the smell waking me up as I glanced toward the kitchen and found myself curious as to what he was preparing.

I stood and rewrapped the heavy blanket around myself, aimlessly wandering out to find him busy dicing up a mixture of peppers and onions. The sight of it alone making me pause there and watch him at work. There was a large pot full of spaghetti cooking on one burner and another pan nearly overflowing with sauce on the other. He stilled when he heard me draw near, my hand tentatively reaching out to cover his.

"Sausage Spaghetti?" I asked, with a faint smile.

"Yeah, still your favorite?"

"It is and I'm surprised you remembered."

He stopped dicing then, his smile slipping some from my words.

"I remember everything. Even the little things." He replied, hurriedly pouring the chopped vegetables into the sauce filled skillet so they could simmer.

"...like what?" I softly countered, unsure if I wanted to hear his answer or if I should change the subject.

He put the knife down and turned himself toward me, his eyes careful to avoid mine at first. I saw his firm swallow and his jaw tense before he spoke.

"Like the way you bite down on your bottom lip when you're nervous or concentrating on something." He replied, his tone so soft and sincere that I couldn't move when his hand reached up, his thumb gently sweeping across my bottom lip before he continued. "...or the way you prefer simple things over complicated. Old trucks over fancy luxury cars. How you like your coffee with only cream but your tea with just sugar and honey." His hand dropped then as he drew in a shaky breath and went on, "...or how you would much rather curl up on the sofa and read all night than have a night out somewhere else. How you'll give any good book a try but none of them compare to Emily Bronte's 'Wuthering Heights' for you. That one is your most favorite and you've read it so many times that the pages are worn and half falling out of the copy you have...or how your favorite color is brown. How you blush when you're nervous or embarrassed and how you move your hair over to your left shoulder when you're really focused on something in front of you." He thoughtfully paused, his gaze steadily holding my own as he gently tugged on the blanket I still had clutched to me, the backs of his warm fingers softly caressing my cheek before grazing under my chin. "...or how you don't like cold or the constant cloud cover and rain like we have here most months. How I still make you nervous and how your heart races whenever we're close enough to touch."

I stared at him in disbelief when he offered me half a smile and went back to the stove, leaving me stunned into momentary silence.

"...you still know me best." I soon breathed, seeing him stir the spaghetti and set the spoon down on the unfinished countertop.

He merely nodded to me in reply, his eyes unwilling to catch mine as he seemingly struggled to find his voice then.

I marveled at how he had remembered all this, even after our time apart.

There were so many things I wanted to say to him. All of them crossing the already blurred lines of our relationship. I chose to remain silent as I closed the small distance between us and wrapped my arms around his waist. A huge part of me was afraid he wouldn't return the embrace. That after all the words we'd exchanged, he needed the same kind of physical space from me he did years ago when I'd told him what we had wasn't enough. Relief flooded through me when I felt him press me close, his response to me immediate and his hold tight. It was as if he could sense that I didn't want to let go, because I didn't. The feel of his warm chest under my cheek and the sound of his pounding heartbeat making me yearn to stay in his arms just like this. I knew it was wrong but it felt so right and I didn't know where the hell that left me anymore.

We ate in contented silence, both of us too exhausted to talk anymore as the dawn of a new day crept steadily in around us. I had to admit that he had far exceeded my expectations with the meal he'd made, the sausage spaghetti tasting so good that I ate not only one but two platefuls. I took note of the satisfied grin he wore when I handed him my second empty plate, feeling so full that I could barely breathe.

"Thank you. That was really good." I sighed, wrapping the blanket around my shoulders and curling into the arm of the sofa.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"Want me to help you do dishes?" I offered.

"No, don't worry about that. I'll get them in the morning." He replied, leaning down over me with a concerned look. "I want you to get some sleep. You've been up all night and it'll be daylight soon."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"I should call Charlie and at least tell him where I am. I don't want him to worry."

"I already texted Billy. He knows you're here. It's alright." He replied, sitting down on the other end of the couch with a tired sigh, his head leaning back and his eyes closing as the sound of the crackling fire settled in around us. I tucked my face into the soft blanket, inhaling his scent there and finding it hard to silence my thoughts long enough for me to cave into the utter exhaustion I'd been desperately trying to avoid for hours now. I watched the tension leave his face as he began to succumb to his own exhaustion, the sight of it reminding me so much of easier days. Back when being in his garage for hours with warm soda and cold pizza had been enough and when our only real worry had been getting caught fixing up those bikes by Charlie and Billy. I didn't want to take my gaze from him but I found it damn near impossible to keep my eyes open after a few more minutes.

The fire's glow was soothing as I listened to Jacobs steady breathing and closed my eyes, drifting off into a restless sleep. It was only a short time later when I was startled awake by the ringing of a cell phone that wasn't mine. I sat up, disoriented and looking around to see the room now full of the early morning light. The sun still hidden behind the fog and clouds of another dewy September day in Washington. I could hear Jacobs low voice coming from the other room as he took the call on his cell, my ears straining to hear his words.

"She's still here with me, dad. Tell Charlie I'll bring her back to his place when she wakes up later. She's exhausted. We both are. It was a long night."

I tossed and turned, silently listening to their conversation and watching the darkness of the night swiftly give way to the new day now fast approaching. I soon gave up on the idea of sleep, my mind too full of the uncertainty that plagued my every waking thought. I stood on tired legs, timidly crossing the living room before heading down the narrow hallway that led to his room. I stifled a small gasp as the floor loudly creaked beneath my feet when I reached his open doorway. My heart feeling as if it would leap from my chest and sprint away from me at any given moment.

_Yeah... He still made me nervous._

I heard him swiftly end the call with Billy as I took another few steps down the hall, my hands tightly clutching the blanket when I paused just outside his darkened doorway.

_What the hell was I doing! This was freaking insane!_

I turned on my heel, quickly whirling around to head back to the couch when the feel of his warm hand catching my wrist halted me where I stood. I couldn't speak when he drew me close to him, turning me around so our faces were only mere inches apart.

"...hey-" He breathed, his tone husky and warm. "...why are you awake? You haven't been sleeping long. What's wrong?"

I tried to find my voice but it was gone as I searched his gaze. The two of us so close in the hallway that we were breathing the same breath and I could feel the heat radiating from his skin.

"...s-sorry." I finally forced out, pulling back some with my reply. "I- um- heard your cell."

"What are you sorry for?" He asked, brushing a stray lock of hair away from my face. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I forgot to put it on silent. I'm sorry it woke you up."

I nodded, feeling the heat from him make me blush a crimson I knew he could plainly see on my snow white skin, as my eyes greedily roamed over his bare torso. I was still so tired that I could hardly walk straight without tripping over my own two feet.

_I know I shouldn't still be here. I should be walking away. Keeping a safe distance from him for both of our sakes but it was so much harder to do than I thought it would be. _

I looked past him into his room, unable to make out anything but the king sized bed pressed against the far wall.

_Turning away from him feels impossible for me. I knew there was still so damn much we hadn't said._

Jacob soon followed my hesitant gaze, his hand reaching for mine when I nervously glanced back up at him. Like he always did, he read me like an open book, his dark eyes full of an understanding I truly felt I didn't deserve when he put words to the maddening thoughts running like wildfire through my head.

"Bells, I know everything is still so-" He began, his face falling in frustration when he stumbled over his words. "-...messed up and nothing feels the way it should-"

"...you still feel the same." I confessed, unable to stop my real feelings from crawling up my throat as I thought of what saying goodbye to him again would be like for me and how it sounded like nothing but fear and heartbreak. His reply was full of a tangible desire that sparked a rush of warmth to spread through my bones and down my spine, the simple gesture of his fingers gliding down my arm and lacing with my own, making me lean in closer to him. His touch feeling like fire brushing my skin and I couldn't lie to myself any longer when I realized then just how damn good it felt to burn. His eyes sought mine and I couldn't find the will to look away from him, my attention only adverted to the outline of his full lips when he speaks again.

"So do you, honey."

_I didn't even want to think about leaving him._

His touch had remained the same with me and the meaning behind it hadn't changed with time or distance and I still trusted him with every ounce of who I was. The harsh truth I couldn't deny was that I didn't trust_ myself_ with him. The sound of his voice alone right now made my own desire erupt from my heart, steadily setting my insides on fire.

"I've missed you so much." I breathed, barely able to keep standing.

I felt the very air in my lungs become stolen when he drew me into his arms and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. "I've missed you every day, Bells."

"I'm so sorry, Jacob."

"Shh- I know. You need your rest." He replied.

"I don't want to let go of you."

"You don't have to, honey. Not right now anyway."

I felt his hold on me tighten as I closed my eyes, basking in the feel of his closeness and of his warmth and not wanting to leave his embrace. I could hardly form words, my body so far past the point of exhaustion now that I struggled to even move as my softly spoken plea to him filled the room.

"Will you hold me while I sleep?"

Jacob let out a breath that made me pull back from him and look up to see the tormented yet resolved look in his dark eyes. His hands reaching for mine as I took the last few steps into his room, the sound of his husky whisper filling the space between us then.

"Lay down with me, honey. I won't touch you unless you ask me to. I promise."

I felt any remaining energy I had left in me die out when he pulled back the covers. I sunk down onto the bed and closed my eyes, blindly reaching out for him and feeling his weight sink onto the mattress beside me, his arms gently wrapping me up as he guided me over to lay my head on his chest. I felt whole for the first time in years when his fingers ran softly through my hair. The sound of his heartbeat the last thing I heard before I fell asleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

**(BPOV)**

I woke up cocooned in the kind of warmth I'd been craving for as long as I could remember, the suns harsh rays near blinding when I slowly opened my eyes and felt the strong arms still wrapped around me tighten in response to my stirring. I kept my head on his chest, not ready to leave this state with him yet. It was the closest thing to heaven I'd ever known and I just wanted to bask in it a little while longer. My hand trailed across his chest, feeling the defined muscles there and marveling at the heat his russet skin gave off even while he slept.

The last time he held me like this was in the tent on the mountain, when I was almost certain I'd freeze to death before we ever made it down. I had never told him, but when he unzipped the flimsy tent door and met my gaze, I'd nearly called out to him, too cold to care at the time what Edward would think of it. I had never experienced true hypothermia before, but was convinced that I was only a mere breath away from having it then. The devout concern and longing I'd read on Jacobs face when he looked at me that night was enough to make me question everything even then, and the moment his body slid into the sleeping bag, I wanted nothing more than for him to stay with me and not join in on the fight with whatever the hell kind of newborn army Victoria had put together in her obsession to seek vengeance. It had terrified me for him and I couldn't stop from pondering all the ways he could get hurt out there or worse. I'll never forget the way his arms had drawn me into him, pressing my shivering body as close to his as he could, my legs tangling with his own under the cover of the sleeping bag and my icy fingertips eagerly seeking out the warmth of his heated chest when I settled against him. While it was true I was freezing, his elevated body temperature had erased every ounce of bone shaking and teeth chattering chill from me far faster than I thought possible. It was only a few minutes after Edward had left the tent when my cheeks began to flush with color from Jacobs closeness, his eyes roaming over my face when he shifted and began to pull back so I wouldn't become too warm. I'd never been asleep like either of them had assumed I was, and I heard every word of that conversation they shared, my heart shattering all over again when Jacob told Edward to consider the very idea that he was better for me. That he could give me a real future. I noted that there wasn't an ounce of smugness in his tone when he said this to him, but only his solid truth.

I was the one who held onto him longer than I should have that night and longer than I needed to in order to get warm. Before I opened my eyes and met his gaze, I heard his whispered words to me while he cradled my head to his chest.

"_I know you feel something for me, honey. I think you're scared what that means, but you don't have to be. I would never hurt you, Bells. I promise you that whatever may come, I'll always choose to guard your heart with mine... Forever. Let me love you. Choose me and not him."_

He unzipped the sleeping bag then, carefully untangling himself from me and I stopped pretending, my eyes snapping open and my reply to him barely audible.

"Don't..."

He softly touched my cheek with the backs of his fingers, feeling the warmth there from his embrace and I realized then that I wasn't asking him to stay just to keep me from freezing, but because I wasn't ready to let him go. For reasons I didn't even understand.

I reflected on that night with him and placed my hand over his heart, my fingers splaying out just above the steady rhythm that pounded beneath my palm now.

_It still beats for you._

I hadn't slept this soundly in so long that I almost had to remind myself I wasn't in another dream of mine, but that he was real and he was here holding me. The change in his breathing soon forced me to lift my head and look at him. His body tensing beneath me as the peaceful look on his face was suddenly replaced with pain and I watched while the agony seeped it's way further into his features as a low groan left him. The sound of it causing me to pull myself up just enough to peer down into his handsome face and see that it was now contorted by whatever was tormenting him in his sleep. My heart clenched painfully when my name left him in a gasp as his dark eyes flew open then, his chest heaving when he bolted upright. The utter anguish he felt now on display for me to see as he sucked in another sharp breath, his hand coming up to tightly grip his chest. I knew exactly how he felt because I'd been having the same kind of terrorizing dreams about him all this time. I timidly reached out to him, thinking back to all the times I had wished he was physically there with me when I woke up in a panic like that. He turned his head my way at the feel of my touch on his arm, his eyes glossy as they held my own. He firmly swallowed, trying to quickly regain his composure before I could see it, but despite his best efforts, he couldn't stem the steady flow of tears that ran down his cheeks. The very sight of them making me gasp and reach for him again, gently cradling his face in my hands before wrapping my arms around his neck and holding him tight. His arms took hold of me without hesitation, drawing me close to him, the desperation in his hold telling me he forgot that I was real. That I wasn't merely a nightmare or a dream this time. He buried his head in my hair, inhaling deeply before confirming what I suspected to be true.

"I forgot you were-"

"I know." I softly replied, pulling back to meet his gaze.

"I thought you were already gone."

His words made me dread what was coming in only a few more short hours. The knowledge of this making me truly hate time and how it never stopped ticking for anything or anyone. We had barely cracked open the very surface of everything, the two of us still unsteady and even more unsure.

"I'm not. I'm still here with you."

He peered into my eyes, his hands going into my hair as I stilled there half in his lap. The clear torment in his voice making me shudder.

"I don't want you to leave."

I pressed my forehead to his, hating to even glance over at the clock but knowing I soon had to. I didn't want to know what the hell time it was. I wanted to remain blissfully ignorant for as long as I could with him.

"Jake-..."

"Please don't." He begged, his tone thick with the emotion he continued to deny himself, controlling it and doing all he could not to let it show.

I felt so shattered and so torn, my head only waring with me more and more, as the feel of his warm body pressed so close to my own sparked a new flame within me. I tried not to, but I couldn't even begin to fight off the desire in my own heart for him. The magnetic pull to him now feeling so strong that it threatened to erase any prior thought that told me to do the reasonable thing and say goodbye. To drive away from him and board that plane when the time came and not stay here with him. Every part of me longed to ignore the rest of the world, if only for today, and remain wrapped up in his arms just like this until we couldn't.

"I don't want to but I can't-..."

His husky tone surrounded me then, his whispered words making me still there in his arms.

"Bells, stay with me one more day. Just one-..."

I stared back at him as his warm hands roamed up my sides and around to my back. The sweet temptation to just give in to my own aching desire rapidly becoming more than I could take, and my judgement growing to be all the more clouded when his dark gaze dropped down to my lips. I knew he felt it, too. The undeniable tension in the air that made it hard for the both of us to keep denying ourselves what we craved most... each other.

As much as I hated to, I slowly released him, every part of me yearning to do the exact opposite as my eyes caught sight of the clock on his night stand, the time now reading to be just after eleven in the morning.

_The day was already half way over._

This was impossible. I had set something in motion by following my heart and coming here. Something I could no longer ignore or dismiss the way I had foolishly chosen to do until now.

I scooted to the edge of his bed and let my head fall into my hands as I tried to talk myself into doing what I knew I had to. Into getting on a damn plane in less than eighteen hours and flying back to the life I knew I still had waiting for me back in Georgia.

I barely heard Jacob approach when he did, his hands gently taking mine away from my face when he crouched down in front of me, his body trembling with his words.

"Tell me you don't feel as empty as I do when we're apart, Bells. That you don't miss me the way I miss you? That you don't think of me when you can't sleep at night, honey?"

I laced my fingers through his and couldn't bring myself to reply to him, because I had nothing to say. No argument to offer up. Everything he'd just said was exactly how I felt.

"I do miss you." I sighed. "More than I know what to do with."

"Then stay. Be here with me, honey." He pleaded, the sincere need in his gaze making my heart race and my eyes water. "The Reservation BBQ is tonight. Come with me and stay just one more night?"

We were both trying like hell to avoid the inevitable now and I knew with one more look at his handsome face, so close to mine, that I couldn't refuse him even if I knew better. Even if it was wrong and even if that meant I wouldn't make it back in time before Edward would return home from his trip with the others.

"One more day will only-" I began, trying anything I could to make him see reason.

"You coming here was more than just a visit. You know that it was. You came because you feel as hollow as I do. You came because there's something missing in you just like there's been something missing in me since you left. You're the only one that can fill that empty space for me, honey. "

I saw how hard this was for him to admit to me, his hand slowly turning over my left wrist where the bracelet with his wolf charm was, his gaze leaving mine to focus on it now. I managed a nod to him, knowing that my mind was already being changed with every sincere word he'd spoken to me. All of them a reflection of my own truth. I knew what I was avoiding by not going back and I also knew the heartbreak I'd be creating for the both of us if I left right now. Where the hell did that leave me and how could I refuse him anything when he looked at me as if I was the only thing that anchored him to the world, the only thing that mattered and made him whole in the same way I felt he always completed me? If I had come to learn anything over the past five years without him, it was that this life was all about the choices we made while we were in it, and that choosing the wrong one could irrevocably alter the path of ones own future forever.

**A/N: Thank you for your awesome reviews everyone! Also, to the guest reviews as well and I really appreciate the grammatical errors that were brought to my attention and I did take the time to fix them! Thank you :-) I know this chapter is a bit shorter than the others, but I still wanted to get another update in today! Please leave me a review and tell me your thoughts on what you think Bella should do? HAPPY READING! Till Next Time...**


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

**(JPOV)**

I knew I was pushing it when I asked her to stay with me for one more day, but I couldn't stand the idea of her leaving. Every time I thought of having to watch her walk away from me again, the raw pain would nearly drop me to my knees.

_I needed her._

Having her spend the night here and seeing her in this place had given me a real dose of just what I'd been missing all this time. Sharing a meal with her and watching her sleep while she was on the couch was the best part of heaven and hell at the same time. The most pleasurable form of torment I'd ever known. I didn't think my heart could warm any more, until she'd wandered down the hall to my room, my sensitive hearing catching the sound of her soft footfalls on the wooden floor as she approached. The cautious way she stepped making me end the call with Billy and listen closely to the racing beat of her heart. The sound of it now rivaling that of a rabbits. I set the cell down and glanced toward my bedroom door, hearing her shallow breaths while she stopped only a few steps shy of it. I swallowed hard, trying like hell to push down the carnal desire that flooded thickly through my veins when I caught her sweet scent now heavy in the air around me. The alluring and inviting hint of her arousal enough to drive me fucking crazy. I held my breath, waiting for her to make another move as the intense hunger for her in me grew, causing my cut offs to tighten. I craved to take her in my arms, strip her down until only her beautiful ivory skin was pressed flush against mine, until we were so lost in each other that we didn't know where one began and the other ended.

I kept my gaze set on the barely lit hallway, as I stood from the edge of my bed and let out the breath I'd been holding. My heart was pounding, the sound becoming so loud in my ears that it mixed with hers and made me take a step forward. I wanted her to tell me she needed me as much as I needed her. To admit she didn't want to leave when this weekend was over.

She was struggling to take the last few steps that would bring us face to face, her indecisiveness telling me that she either didn't trust herself, or she didn't trust me not to act on the impulses I knew the both us were already struggling to ignore. When I heard the rustling of her blanket lightly dragging across the floor, I went to her, my hand swiftly taking hold of her tiny wrist, before she had the chance to rush back out into the living room. She halted her movements at the feel of my touch and I could see the nervousness in her gaze when she turned around to face me. It took every ounce of control I had to not grab her and kiss her the way I wanted to. The way I would've kissed those lips every chance I had if she were mine. She peered up at me through her thick lashes, her doe eyes carefully wandering down to take in the sight of my bare chest and torso. I bit back a groan when the intoxicating scent of her sweet arousal swiftly became the only thing I could smell.

Fuck...

I tried so hard not to imagine it but failed. Not to think of how breathtaking she would be naked or what her creamy bare skin would feel like under my palms. She was standing so close, and I swore that I saw the same kind of need reflected back to me in her eyes when she looked past me, her gaze focusing on my bed in the darkened room. I could see it there, so clearly, what she wanted of me even before she had found the nerve to ask it aloud. She had no idea how many night's I'd laid awake in here and longed for things to be different, for the safety and comfort of my arms to be the refuge she sought until the dawn of a new day. How I'd nearly reached for her, yearning to scoop her up in my arms on the couch and hold her, only an hour ago when I woke to see that she was fast asleep there. The sight of her alone something I never wanted to forget. The way her long hair spanned out across the small pillow she'd tucked under her head, and the way her beautiful face held no fear or worry while she slept. I wanted to wrap her up in my arms more than anything right now and here she was, asking me to do just that.

I'd promised her that I wouldn't touch her unless she asked me to and I meant it, even when the slightest brush of her bare arm against mine when she laid down sent a jolt straight to my dick. I'd never ached for any woman the way I did for her right now. All of the many meaningless and unfulfilling hook ups from before failing horribly in comparison to what the mere sight of her lying here in my bed did for me. I had to bite back another groan when she blindly reached for me, her head soon laying on my chest and her delicate fingers resting just above my heart. I stayed awake as long as I could, not wanting to be asleep for any of the precious time I had left with the angel who was now fast asleep in my arms. I would cherish every second we had remaining, my chest growing tight at the thought of how her plane was set to depart in less than twenty-four hours.

When I awoke with a start sometime later, the second my eyes opened, the pain I hated settled back into my chest. The dream of her leaving making me audibly gasp as the angry tears blurred my vision. It wasn't until I felt her soft touch on my arm that I realized the dream hadn't been real and she was still here with me. I didn't care that it made me selfish, or that when she was within reach of me, I'd taken her in my arms, desperate to feel the weight of her body against mine.

I didn't want her to go. I couldn't go through that separation again and merely exist day to day without her. Always feeling that hollow ache in my chest and knowing she was miles away from me. There was no way in hell I could do that. Not after learning the truth and still having so many questions I wanted to ask her, so many unknowns that remained. Her indifference was easy to read, her mixed emotions on the matter written all over her face when she stayed in my arms and told me she'd missed me all this time the same damn way I'd missed her.

When the sun rose higher in the sky, and the clock read nearly noon, Bella emerged from the bathroom, freshly showered and wearing only one of my T-shirts when she crossed the living room, the length of it falling to cover her thighs but leaving the rest of her long legs bare for me to see. I couldn't tear my eyes from her when she stilled at the sight of me standing by the fireplace, my head filling with the images that wouldn't shut off. The same images from last night that I'd pressed down and ignored until it was painful. My gaze roamed up her bare legs, before stopping on her face. Her hair drenched and dripping down her back when she subconsciously tugged on the T-shirts hem, trying to make it longer so it would cover her better.

"I hope it's okay that I borrowed this? It was already in the bathroom and I don't have a change of clothes-"

"It's okay." I forced out, seeing her smile faintly in reply.

I couldn't move when she approached me then, her cheeks flush from the hot water still as she peered up at me.

"What time does the BBQ start again?" She softly inquired, the backs of her fingertips barely grazing my bare torso while she waited for my answer.

I stared down at her in disbelief, my reply barely audible when I whisper it.

"You're staying?"

She nodded, her eyes locking on my own when I drew her into me, barely able to breathe when she wrapped her arms around my waste and pressed her head against my chest.

"I don't want to leave you, Jacob."

Relief coursed through me as I cradled her head there, feeling the shudder that came from her when my hand wove itself into her damp hair.

One more day. It wasn't everything and I knew it would never be enough time, that we were only trying to prolong the inevitable, but I would greedily take every damn hour she gave me.

**A/N: Hope you all loved this brief update this afternoon! Please feel free to drop me a review and tell me your thoughts for this new chapter. Another update will be posted soon! Have a wonderful day and HAPPY READING! :-)**


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

**(BPOV)**

The Reservation BBQ was in full swing by the time Jacob and I made our way over there. Music filled the night air and there was more than enough food prepared to feed the ample crowd. My eyes scanned the many faces, seeing Paul right off and nodding his way when he raised his beer to me and smiled, the sight of it making me feel welcome despite the growing knot in my stomach. I hadn't seen anyone but Paul from the pack in years, some of them not since the newborn battle and others not since my wedding. I swallowed firmly and ignored the nervousness swirling uncomfortably in my gut when I caught sight of Seth and Sue Clearwater. The two of them pausing in whatever conversation they'd been engaged in to look my way when Jacob and I approached the bonfire. I stilled there briefly, my halted steps causing Jacob to glance back when my hand abruptly left his.

I knew he could see the apprehension in my gaze, as I glanced past him to the large crowd that felt overwhelming for me to face right now, given all the history and all the hurt I'd caused him before. I owed them all my life. They'd willingly fought side by side with the Cullen's to keep me safe from Victoria and I had selfishly repaid that sacrifice by turning away from them and never looking back. Some show of appreciation that was.

_I didn't belong here._

"Maybe I should-" I began, hesitantly looking back toward my truck and contemplating whether me even showing my face here now was a good idea.

Jacob took a step toward me, his gaze following mine as I struggled to move forward.

Thoughts of when he'd been nearly crushed by one of the newborns Victoria had created ran wildly through my head. The clear memory of his anguished scream I'd heard just outside of Billy's when Carlisle had to rebreak his bones to stop them from healing wrong, caused a violent shudder to course through me. He was damn lucky that it hadn't been worse. It could have been. I'll never forget what the sound of his pain did to me that night. How I'd nearly dropped to my knees there in Billy's driveway.

"Bells, it's alright, honey." Jacob sighed, his warm breath touching my ear and ghosting down my neck when he spoke. The feel of his arms wrapping around my shoulders reminding me that I wouldn't be facing their judgement alone tonight.

I placed my hands on his forearms, leaning back into his embrace and looking toward the fire that continued to rise high in the star lit sky.

"Okay..." I breathed to him, soon taking his offered hand and sticking close to his side as Paul headed our way first, the woman on his arm clinging to his every word when he greeted us.

"Hey, you two! Glad you came out! Your dad just got here a few minutes ago with Charlie."

"Sorry we're late." Jacob offered, reaching out and shaking Paul's hand. The two of them sharing a loaded glance before Paul introduced us to his date for the evening.

"This is Rosita. She's Theresa's younger sister."

I couldn't help but observe her striking beauty, her good looks rivaling that of a models. She was tall and lean. Her pencil straight long hair flowing down past her waist and ink black in color, and her tan skin glowing by the fire with a striking smile that would leave any man speechless.

"I'm Jacob and this is Bella. It's nice to meet you Rosita."

I noticed how Jacob's hand tightened in my own and the recognition in Rosita's eyes when he introduced us, the sight of it making unease unfurl rapidly in my stomach.

"I've heard a lot about you, Jacob. It's nice to finally put a face to the name."

Paul was quick to redirect the conversation then, the awkwardness of the moment not lost on anybody now.

"Well, we should get some more food. Trust me, it's running out fast around here. There's still some burgers and hot dogs if you want?"

Jacob merely shook his head to him in response, and watched while he swiftly pulled Rosita back toward the rowdy crowd and away from us. I saw her eyes roam over me once before she turned away and placed a chaste kiss on Paul's cheek.

I waited for him to say something, to tell me who Rosita's sister was but he offered up no further explanation. He simply squeezed my hand and peered down at me, his dark eyes sending a shiver down my spine as he pulled me along.

Charlie and Billy were having a great time, both of their faces lighting up with a genuine smile when they saw us walking toward them.

"Look who decided to show after all!" Billy chimed, his happy mood causing a wide smile to spread across my face. "Better late than never!"

"I'd say, Billy!" Charlie added, holding up his beer to Jacob with a greeting nod. "Where have you two been?!"

I felt my cheeks flush with a blush I tried to hide by looking away from them but I knew they saw it.

"Oh, leave them be, Chief. The two of them aren't kids anymore. They can do as they please." Billy offered up with a grin my way.

Jacob chuckled once with a shake of his head to them, his gaze meeting mine as I tried to think of what to say.

"I showed her the house, dad."

"What do you think of the place, Bella?" Billy questioned, his knowing gaze looking between us before dropping down to our conjoined hands. "Still needs some work, doesn't it?"

"I think it's nice. Has a lot of potential. Jacob's a great craftsman. I'm sure he'll have it all put together in no time." I confidently replied, seeing a boyish smile touch his face as he pulled me closer.

Charlie cleared his throat and looked to Billy, who didn't seem phased in the least by the sight of Jacob wrapping his arm around my shoulders and placing a kiss into my hair. I read my fathers silence with one look, his expression growing stern when he glanced my way again.

"Bella, a word?" Charlie asked, handing his beer to Billy and motioning for me to follow him.

I released Jacobs hand and pulled away from him, his worried gaze meeting mine before I turned and faced Charlie. It was easy to see the clear disapproval on his face when he placed his hands on his hips and addressed me.

"Look Bella, I'm not an idiot, so don't play me for a fool here, alright? I know the two of you didn't come back to Billy's last night and I'm not sure what the hell is going on with you and Edward, but-"

"Nothing happened." I quickly explained, before he could continue to draw up the wrong conclusion.

"You spent the night with him-" Charlie countered, his tone disbelieving and agitated and his face now rigid.

"Dad-..."

"Stop pretending that this is just a visit back home. Don't get me wrong, I'm so glad you came back here, kiddo. I really am and I want you to stay as long as you want to, but there's got to be more to this than just a holiday weekend back in Washington?"

I looked toward Jacob and Billy, my eyes taking in Jacobs tall form by the fire, and marveling at just how breathtaking he was just standing there in nothing but a red flannel shirt and dark denim jeans.

_ He had no idea._

"I don't know." I replied to Charlie, seeing the confused expression he wore in response.

"What-... what the hell do you mean you don't know?" He asked, reaching out and placing his hands on my shoulders. "Are you having trouble back in Georgia? Is there something going on with you and Edward?"

I raised my head and finally found the nerve to ask him the one question I'd been wanting to ask him since before I walked down the aisle to Edward five years ago.

"You never wanted me with Edward, did you? It was Jacob you would've chosen for me if given the chance?"

Charlie's eyes widened at this and I saw the truth there in his gaze, as he pulled back and crossed his arms defiantly over his chest.

"Bella- what-... what kind of a question is that?" He nervously stammered.

I drew closer to him, my tone soft and whispered with my sincere reply.

"I'm not angry with you for it. I never could be. I just need you to tell me the truth, dad. Would you have chosen differently for me if you could've?"

Charlie glanced ahead of us toward Jacob who was already peering our way with a concerned look.

"You want the truth?"

"Yes, I do."

"Yeah, okay. I would've preferred you with Jacob." He admitted, hanging his head with a sigh.

"Why?"

"... for a lot of different reasons, Bella. Alright? Just-"

"I need you to tell me why, dad." I insisted.

Charlie huffed my way, his face red as he struggled to give me a straight answer. "Shit, Bella. I don't know-"

"Yes, you do. So tell me why. Don't beat around the bush or lie to me. You're a cop and a damn good one. You read people all the time, dad. Every single day. You know when something's off and when something doesn't feel right like it should."

He met my inquisitive gaze then and squared his shoulders, his head turning toward Billy and Jacob while they chatted amongst themselves.

"You're really gonna make me say this aren't you, kiddo?"

"Yes, I am. I want to hear it from you, because believe it or not, I trust your instincts and reasoning more than you know, dad." I confessed, seeing him shake his head again in exasperated defeat to me.

"Aright, Bella. I wanted you to give it a real shot with Jacob before you made such a commitment to Cullen. I never liked him, Bella. That's my truth. I'm sorry, but there was always something about him that made me feel like if you married him, I'd end up losing you forever, and I'd just got you back when he came into the picture. I could never put my finger on it, exactly what it was or why I feared that, but I couldn't shake the feeling either. Not seeing you for five years only confirmed those fears for me. So yeah, I wanted you with Jacob. You were different when you were with him, Bella. You were..._better. _More sure of yourself and more confident in who you were. You smiled more and it wasn't that forced kind of fake smile you always try to put on for everyone else even when you're uncomfortable. I never worried when you were with him the way I always did when you were out with Edward. I knew you were safe with Jacob, that he wouldn't let anything happen to you. I didn't have that same assured feeling with Cullen and trust me, someday when you're a parent, you'll know how much you need that feeling when you're kids are away from you. I know that probably sounds ridiculous to you, but-"

"No, no it doesn't. Thank you for telling me the truth." I replied, reaching out to take his hand. "I needed to know how you really felt and I'm sorry I didn't ask you before."

"...now it's your turn. Tell me what's really going on? Don't leave me out of things." He countered.

His request was sincere and I fought my emotions as he stared at me, patiently waiting for my reply. I didn't look away from him but I could still feel Jacob's lingering gaze on me while I warred with my head and my heart.

Charlie saw this and placed a hand under my chin, his words making it even harder for me to say what was on my heart. To tell him the absolute truth.

"Bella, I know it's taken a long time for us to build something and a lot of that was my fault, but I don't want it that way between us anymore. I'm not always great at expressing things like feelings, but I want you to tell me when something's wrong. When you're hurting or when you need some advice. Give your old man some credit now and then."

I held his gaze, caving into his heartfelt request and feeling like a child again when he pulled me into a tight hug.

"I'm not happy, dad. I made the wrong choice."

Charlie tightened his hold on me and cradled my head to his chest then, his comforting embrace making me feel safe and secure. I had missed him so much.

"...your happiness matters more to me than anything else in this world, kiddo. You get one life and you deserve to have everything you desire in it. I'm here for you. No matter what."

"I'm supposed to board a plane in ten hours and go back to Georgia. Back to Edward. I've already changed it once and I'm still tempted to change it again." I admitted to him.

Charlie pulled back from our embrace, his hands gripping my shoulders firmly as he replied.

"You owe it to yourself to make whatever damn choice you want to, Bella. You hear me? I'll be proud of you and support you either way. I just want you to be true to yourself and not persuaded by what others expect from you. Sometimes you have to be selfish-"

"I've already been selfish for too long, dad. That's what got me into this mess in the first place. " I replied, wiping away the lone tear as it slid down my cheek, my gaze locking on Jacobs when he turned his head our way again. The longing he felt etched in every single part of him, from the way he stood, to the way his eyes sought mine and the way his hands would flex at his sides, like he were aching to touch me.

Charlie followed my gaze and he sighed heavily.

"...you love him the way he loves you even though you've tried all this time not to. Can't run from that, Bella. No matter what your choice is. Whether you board that plane in ten hours or not, those feelings will still be there. For the both of you. They won't just go away."

I nodded and felt Charlie release my shoulders, his face full of recognition and concern when he gestured toward Jacob.

"He looks at you the same way he used to, Bella. I've seen it for years on that boys face. Since you two were just kids, slinging mud and sand at eachother. It's never changed and I don't think it ever will. Sometimes in life, time only makes things worse. The two of you have something and you owe it to yourself and to him to figure out just what that is before you step foot back in Georgia. Do you wanna wake up one day twenty years from now and regret the way you've spent that time and who you've spent it with?"

"No, of course I don't."

"... and that's why you came back here. So do yourself and Jacob a favor and don't choose hastily." Charlie replied, tucking me under his arm and walking us back toward Jacob and Billy who were now surrounded by the entire pack, the sight of them all making me more nervous than before.

I hadn't even made it a few steps with Charlie before Seth reached out for me, his hug unexpected and welcome.

"How the hell have you been, Bella! I haven't seen you since-" He paused, his sunny smile fading some as he tried to back peddle. "Well I mean...-when you were-"

"It's alright, Seth." I assured him, returning his hug and forgetting how much I'd missed his sunny personality. "It has been a long time. Too long!"

"We've missed you around here. Some of us more than others." He admitted, lightly jabbing Jacob in the ribs when he was close enough. Jacob returned his jab with a smirk and reached down to retake my hand, the feel of his warm fingertips trailing down my arm causing goosebumps to line my skin.

My skin began to heat as I basked in his warm touch, my mind going to places that was_ forbidden_. I knew he sensed the change in me when he paused his teasing banter with Seth and wrapped an arm around my waist, his closeness making it hard for me to focus on anything else.

Embry, Jared, and Quil were next to say hello and while they were friendly, I could sense the tension between Quil and Jacob, and it made me wonder what happened between them to cause their former easy and close friendship to become distant and unsettled. When Sam and Emily finally showed, she greeted me with a beaming grin and a hug, her words making tears form in my eyes when she said them.

"I always hoped you'd come back, Bella. I could always use another wolf girl around here."

The party carried on till well after midnight and when the crowd dwindled down to just the pack, I could feel the real sense of family between them and it made my heart warm. Jacob soon hunkered down on one of the pieces of driftwood that surrounded the fire and I joined him there. My eyes becoming heavy when I laid my head on his shoulder and heard his husky whisper at my ear.

"Come home with me, honey?"

I slowly lifted my head and met his intense gaze, the rest of the party and commotion becoming nothing more than an unimportant blur, as he held my attention with a look that pulled every single thought or desire from me without the need for coaxing. My breath hitched and my heart raced, it's frantic beat having nothing to do with nervousness or fear and everything to do with what my body really wanted.

**A/N: Hey everyone! :-) I hope you enjoyed this new chapter. Thank you a million times over for all the love and support you've shown this new story! The musical inspiration for this update is brought to you by Ruelle. The song "War of Hearts".**

**Please leave your thoughts in a review! I love hearing from all of you! There will be another update tomorrow. Till Next Time... HAPPY READING!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hey guys :-) I wanted to start this chapter update with an author note and apologize for the two spelling errors I found earlier this morning in the previous chapter I posted late last night. I have fixed them and I hope you all enjoy this new chapter today! Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews! Can't wait to hear more from you. Inspiration for this chapter brought to you by James Arthur and the song "Empty Spaces."**

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

**(BPOV)**

Jacob was silent as he drove through the Reservation, my eyes quickly becoming too damn heavy to keep open long before he'd even pulled into the driveway. The last thing I saw was the time on the radio clock, it's neon digital display feeling like someone had reached their greedy hands inside my chest and ripped out whatever fragments of my heart that remained there.

It was fast approaching three in the morning and I fought against the raw emotion that tried to choke me, threatening to spill out of me like an overflowing sink. I was sure that I would come apart at the seams when Jacobs body went rigid beside mine, his breathing uneven when he roughly shifted the red Chevy into park and cut off the engine.

I had only an hour left to get my things still at Charlie's and hit the highway for the airport. My dreaded flight to Georgia scheduled for departure in two hours from now. I could hardly look at him, his hand slowly releasing my own, as he pulled the keys from the ignition and placed them on the dash just in front of me.

I had never hated the sound of utter silence the way I did right now. Every passing second making me fill more and more with indecision and heartache. My thoughts were chaotic and I struggled to catch my breath when Jacob finally spoke first.

"You know I don't want you to go back. That I don't want you to leave. I don't have to say it out loud for you to know that, but I will anyway. Not a damn thing about you leaving here and going back to Georgia, back to him, feels right."

"You know what will happen if I don't-" I softly countered. "What a mess that would cause."

"No worse of one than this already is." He stated, his tone heated and strained, as he climbed out of the truck and slammed the door behind him.

I didn't cower to his anger, I'd been expecting it from the moment his gaze met mine in Billy's kitchen two nights ago, but he hadn't showed me that side of him yet, instead he'd held off for as long as he could. This moment was proving to be his breaking point and I silently braced myself when I got out and joined him there by his front porch.

"I know you're angry with me but I have to-"

He sharply whipped his head around, his gaze feral when it met mine.

"No, you don't. You're choosing to. Again!"

"If I don't go back he'll-..."

"So let him come here. Let him come looking for you. This is still your choice to make, Bella!"

I didn't speak because I knew he was right. It was my choice to make. The same way it had been before.

He was barely holding it together, his form near vibrating with the heated tremors that rocked through him. I saw him wince as he desperately tried to keep them at bay, his grip of control becoming harder and harder for him to keep hold of and his dark eyes lit with a fire that stirred something deep in me. It took over my thinking and put my mind into a frenzy of sparks. I shuddered and tried to regain my focus, taking a cautionary step back from him when I tore my eyes away from his. I couldn't even pretend that he didn't have an affect on me, or that this wasn't slowly killing me, too. There was no point for me to feign detachment because I knew he'd see right through me like glass. I could never hide _anything_ from him. Not when we were face to face like this.

He knew me better than I knew myself.

I thought of the pack, of Sam and Emily, and all the others from the Reservation we'd spent the evening with, how they'd all be thrown into my mess with the Volturri if I ever broke my word to them and stayed here.

"You don't understand! I can't just walk away-"

"...but you can walk away from me, right? Is that it?!" He shouted, his pain striking me in the chest with his words like a physical hit. I staggered back, feeling the sob build in my throat, as I tried to keep standing while he continued. "...just like before. Just like every time."

"It's not like that!" I choked out, my tears freely spilling and getting lost in the light rain that began to fall around us. I couldn't help but look up and think that even the weather matched my insides right now.

Jacob didn't budge, his eyes still piercing right through me with his angered reply.

"Then tell me what the hell it's like, Bella! Huh?! Tell me what the fuck was the point in you coming back here just so you could leave again? Just long enough to make me believe that you really did wish you'd chosen differently, and long enough to rip my insides wide open all over again! Do you get some sick thrill out of putting me through this?"

My body trembled, seeing the agony pouring out of him in his every hostile word to me. I had no one to blame but myself. I deserved his anger. All of it.

I forced myself to respond, the darkened sky above us now letting go as a drenching and unforgiving rain fell from it.

"I can't go back and fix it. I want to. You have to know that I do, but I sealed my fate in Italy when I went after Edward-"

Jacob shook his head in anger, abruptly closing the distance between us in three long strides. His hands going into my soaked hair, as he cradled my face and forced me to hold his gaze.

"Do you not have faith in me anymore at all? None?"

"You know that's not true-..." I sobbed, shaking like a leaf as he went on.

"Do you have any idea at all what you still mean to me? Any idea what I would do to protect you and keep you safe from them or anything else?"

"Jacob-..." I cried, as the pounding rain continued to soak us both.

"I'd give my life for you, honey. In a second."

"Don't say that!" I begged him, my voice strangled and desperate.

"Till my last breath, I'd protect you. Destroy whatever tried to harm you, but you have to put faith in me to do it. Trust me enough to surrender it to me."

"I do have faith in you."

"...but not enough to stay here with me, right!?" He bitterly countered, releasing me then, the sudden loss of contact with him making me reach out as he backed away from me. "You know how much I wish it was enough."

I let out a gasp, recalling when he'd said this exact thing to me after the newborn battle. When he was laying there in his bed at Billy's, shattered from injuries he'd sustained while joining the fight in order to keep me safe. I felt myself start to unravel when he looked away from me then, his defeated stance making me feel as if ice water had been poured down through my veins.

"It's not that it's not enough!"

He darkly chuckled then, the sound angry and lacking any kind of humor with his clipped reply.

"...but it is. Just like it's always been. Never enough for you."

"Don't you see why I don't want you and the pack thrown into this?" I yelled, desperately trying to get him to see my reasoning.

He stared back at me in disbelief, his body shaking again from the tremors he continued to fight.

"You really have no fucking idea, do you?"

"I don't want to do this. Spend our last few minutes together fighting!"

"Well, I guess your shit out of luck, because I told you a long time ago that I'd fight for you until your heart stopped beating and the last time I checked, I can still hear it, every beat of it, pounding away in your chest."

I shook violently, unsure if it was from the cold incessant rain or from how everything in me wanted to give in to the yearning that pulsed heavily through my very veins for him. I felt disoriented, standing there in his driveway, only inches from my truck and a few feet from him. The choice would appear simple to any outsider, turn and get back in the truck and drive away from him, or toss all moral compass out the window and kiss him the way I'd wanted to from the moment he'd reached for me at Billy's when I first got back here.

Here we were. Both locked in this hell. Loving and fighting... accusing and denying.

My head whirled and my heart clenched painfully when I saw his chest heaving and his hands ball tightly into fists at his sides. His eyes still burning with a heated anger, and whether he meant for me to catch it before he uttered another angry word my way or not, I did. I'd caught the way he struggled to draw in another shaky breath, his face wincing when his hand reached up and rubbed his chest.

I froze there, rendered helpless and immobile under his gaze as the vivid memory of a now distant dream I'd had of him came back to me. How my terrified screams filled my old room at Charlie's as my hands pressed against the open wound in his chest. The blood running through my fingertips as Jacobs words echoed out around me.

_"Don't leave me, Bells. Please, honey-... Please don't."_

The way he looked at me made me want to catch on fire. It was there, in every move he made right now. Beneath all that hot anger and hostility. The same desperate plea he'd said to me in that damn nightmare. My legs felt like concrete when he raised his head and pointed toward my truck.

"Go! Just fucking leave. It's what you do. So get out of here!" He shouted then, his tone angrier with me than I had ever heard it before.

It broke something in me and I could barely walk, as my body continued to shake from the rain and from my sobs, while I mechanically climbed into the drivers side. My hands trembling so bad that I dropped the keys twice before I managed to secure them in the ignition and switch over the engine. I cried harder than I knew possible, every sob settling into my bones when I backed out of his driveway and hit the gas for Forks.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Song credit for this hard chapter - Sleeping At Last-"Breathe Again". There will be another chapter update posted this evening. So stay tuned and please leave a review to tell me your thoughts! Thank you! xoxo**

**CHAPTER TWENTY**

**(BPOV)**

I could hardly see the road in front of me. The forceful rain and heavy fog obscuring my vision and my hands white knuckled, as they tightly gripped the steering wheel. I struggled to keep myself out of the ditch, my tears running on endless supply as Jacobs shouting surrounded me in the empty cab.

_"Go! Just fucking leave! It's what you do! So get out of here!"_

I had never felt this ripped open or this shattered. Like I was leaving pieces of myself in the road behind me with every mile marker I passed. All of them pushing me closer and closer to Forks and pulling me further and further away from him. My skin felt as cold as ice and I shuttered when the town line steadily came into view. My head filling with the heartbreak etched in Jacob's face when I drove away from him.

I was nearly there, just a little bit further. My truck sped up and I was about to cross back over into Forks when the sight of a tall figure appearing suddenly in the road, forced me to slam on the brakes. The sound of my tires dragging harshly on the asphalt below and piercing through the unrelenting rain when my truck jerked to a jagged halt there in the desolate roadway. The scream that had been building in my throat died before it left me and I stared ahead in shock, seeing a firm hand now pressed down on my hood, barely escaping impact.

I let out a ragged breath of relief, my eyes squinting to make out the shadowy figure who stood just ahead of me now, his stance firm and unmoving. Like the almost fatal impact from my truck seconds ago hadn't even phased him. Paul slowly lifted his head and held up his hands, as he came around to my side. His shirtless form drenched from the rain, as it continued to beat down when he swiftly opened my door. His words to me full of sincere conviction when he spoke them.

"Go back, Bella. Don't do this."

I looked up at him in disbelief, seeing his eyes meet mine with an earnest plea in them.

"Paul- wh-what are you-?"

"I saw you leave. Heard what he said to you. I wasn't eavesdropping, I swear. I was coming to let Jacob know that Sam and I were gonna cover for him until the noon switch off. Sam figured the two of you could use some more time. He wanted to give that to Jacob, so I was merely the messenger."

I swallowed hard and shifted the truck into park then, my eyes leaving his as he stood there waiting for me to say something.

_Who the hell jumps in front of a moving vehicle like that!? Was he damn insane!?_

"I could've hit you!" I quipped, my tone angry as he nodded my way.

"Yeah, I know. But you didn't. I had to stop you."

"No, you really didn't. If you heard what Jacob said, then you know I'm only doing what he asked me to."

"I call bullshit." He flatly replied, gesturing for me to scoot over so he could climb inside and get out of the rain. I begrudgingly did so, seeing him turn toward me before he closed the truck door. "... and I think you know I'm right."

"You don't know anything-" I adamantly replied, wiping away the tracks of my tears and refusing to look at him.

"I know you're making a huge ass mistake right now." He arrogantly stated in return.

"If you knew my reasoning, you wouldn't say that."

"I do know your reasoning and I still call bullshit, Bella."

I slowly turned my head his way, seeing the fierce determination in his gaze now.

"How do you know-..."

"I might not know the specifics, but I don't need to. I think you're trying to play the martyr and it doesn't suit you. Not too mention, you'll be back to where you started. Back to living a mere shell of a life and only existing day to day. That's not a real life, Bella. If it was, you wouldn't be here right now and we wouldn't be having this conversation. People who are happy and fulfilled in their life, don't hop a plane back to a place they left behind a long time ago, unless they really haven't. Unless their still searching for contentment in some way."

I could only look at him, gaping from his statement, and all words failing me when he reached out and gave my arm a gentle squeeze before continuing.

"...you can't run from this and I don't think you really want to. I think you're scared of what will happen if you stay here with Jacob."

"There's things you don't know, Paul." I softly admitted, tucking my arms close to my midsection and staring blankly out ahead of me.

"So tell me-" He replied.

"I can't-" I quickly countered.

"Can't or won't? You know that's two vastly different things, Bella."

"Does it really matter?"

"Yeah, it sure in hell does! One of them means you're forbidden to tell me, which trust me, being a wolf and part of a pack, I get that. There are times when you really can't open your mouth and say something, even if you're dying to. The other means that you can tell me, but you're choosing not to because you don't trust me enough with it. Which kind of sucks cause I thought we made some real progress at the bar a few days back."

I could feel his intense gaze on me and I knew he was reading my silence then. I didn't move or even blink when I heard him sigh heavily and reach out again to place a hand on my trembling shoulder.

"You probably think you're doing the right thing here by leaving, but you gotta' trust me when I tell you that you're not. I don't know what the hell is going on, but I do know the kind of leader that Jacob is and even though the last few years have been rough for him, he's always come through for us when it really counted. He would always do the same for you. I think you already know this. He told me how you believed in him from the start. How you weren't afraid of him because of what we are and that you didn't let it change how you saw him."

"... because I love him." I confessed, blinking as my tears rushed forth like water from a broken dam and spilled unceasingly down my face. My chin began to tremble and I am reminded of when I was a small child. I continued to focus on the rain that hits the concrete in front of me, as if I could make the raw ache in my heart go away by concentrating hard enough on something else.

"Bella?"

I'm helpless then as brick by brick, my walls come tumbling down with such force that I slumped forward in the seat, my head falling into my hands as my sobs are punched through me, ripping harshly through my every muscle and bone before settling into my gut. I pressed my head down further, reaching out a gripping the dash, my heart feeling as if it was being forcefully torn from my chest. Over and over again. I was hollow when Paul wrapped an arm around my shoulders, drawing me into his side, his words sounding muffled by the sound of my own crying.

"You have to go back. You know you do. You can't leave things like this. For either of you. I've been here and I've seen him without you. Seen how he used to take off for days at a time and stay in wolf form. Far away from everyone. He needs you, Bella."

"I need him, too." I forced out, attempting to stifle my sobs and failing.

"I'll drive you back." Paul offered, his hand hastily reaching up to shift the truck into gear.

"No- no, it's okay." I managed to him in reply, drawing in a steady breath and trying to pull myself together.

"Are you sure?" He replied, hesitation clear in his voice when he opened the door to leave.

"I'm sure, Paul."

He stilled there, one foot on the ground and the other still in the truck, his hand reluctantly releasing the stick shift with a worried look plaguing his features.

"Alright, but I'm following you back in the woods. I wanna be sure you get there in one piece. You're not exactly in great shape to drive right now."

"I'll be okay. I promise." I replied, reaching out to touch his forearm briefly. "Thank you, Paul. For everything. I mean that."

"Sure thing, I want my brother back and you're family. Like it or not." He teasingly replied with a wink to me, before darting back toward the woods. The rain making it impossible for me to see which direction he'd taken off in.

I caught sight of my reflection in the rearview mirror and gasped, my eyes red and puffy and my windblown hair plastered to my cheeks. I ran my shaking hands through the massive tangles and tried to make myself appear at least presentable. My insides felt as raw and exposed as I'd ever known, my eyes still filling with the tears I knew were pointless to fight off any longer.

It took far more time for me to make it back through town than before. My eyes stinging and impairing my vision all the more, as I glanced toward the darkened forest, wondering where Paul was in the mass of tree's out there. When I finally made it back to the Reservation, I slowed my speed to a near crawl, the loud roar of my trucks engine enough to wake the many sleeping families at this early dawn hour. It was almost five in the morning and the plane I'd booked would be boarding right about now, only I wouldn't be on it with the other one hundred and seventy- six awaiting passengers. There would be one less seatbelt for the attendant to check and one less carry on to be loaded. I'd be in Washington still when Edward would arrive back in Georgia sometime today. I hadn't even check my turned off cell phone in hours and I cringed, as I pondered whether or not to turn it on and see how many messages he'd left for me. The truth was, I was surprised he hadn't come looking for me yet, or at least given Charlie a frantic call, trying to pinpoint where I was.

I slowly hit the brakes when the sight of Jacobs place appeared ahead of me, the lights all turned off, and the yard now covered in the still pitch black of the night. Daylight wouldn't be here for another hour or more. I pulled in and quickly tore the keys from the ignition, the silence making me shiver as I looked up and searched for any movement there by the tree line, but I saw nothing. Nothing more than the faint rustle of the changing leaves from the wind.

I tossed my keys on the seat next to me and got out, my boots getting soaked as I headed up the long driveway. I could see my breath when I lingered there by the porch, the cold rain making me shake as I warred with myself. Silently second guessing my next move and fearing that maybe I'd pushed him too damn far this time. The house appeared to be empty from the outside, and I let out a strangled cry when I noticed the shredded remains of Jacobs clothes laying at my feet on the wet ground below.

He'd phased. He wasn't here.

My heart pounded as I whirled back around, looking for any sign of him in the back yard. My eyes scanning over anything and everything that moved or made a single sound. I felt the fear grip me by the throat as I thought of Paul's words, and how him submitting to the wolf right now could mean that he may choose to stay that way for days, weeks even, before coming back.

He couldn't be gone. I had to tell him how wrong I was to leave. How sorry I was for every stupid and selfish decision I'd ever made. How I still needed him as much as he needed me.

"Jacob." I cried out blindly into the rain, the sound echoing off the trees around me as I looked toward the darkened house again, my stomach churning from the possibility that I was too late. That he was already miles from La'Push by now.

_Why did I leave? Why didn't I stay!?_

My head spun as I stumbled toward the steps that lead up to his porch, the hollow emptiness in me making me shiver worse as I called out to him again. My voice barely recognizable.

"Jacob."

I was too late. He wasn't here.


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE**

**(JPOV)**

_She was gone._

_She'd really left._

I watched as her tail lights disappeared, the wolf in me raging to get out, as I gripped my chest and took hold of my bike, clutching onto it for support. An angry curse left me as the pain I knew was coming, struck me like a wall of concrete to the chest. I angrily kicked the bike over onto it's side, and sunk down into the wet grass beneath me.

_This was just like before._

_No... this was far fucking worse._

This time, I'd gotten a taste of what things should've been like for us. No matter how short lived, and now the pain I'd felt before seemed like nothing compared to this hell.

"DAMN IT!"

How could she leave again?! Turn away from us like she always had!?

My head pounded fiercely and my heart hammered painfully against my chest, every beat making the fire in my veins spread like it had been a match lit and chased by gasoline. Angry tears formed in my eyes when I felt the pain in my chest blaze to new heights, gauging open a new hole there and leaving me nearly caved in on myself on the ground as the rain poured. Grief that made me want to fucking scream, wrapped it's vice like grip around me, like a prisoner who was chained for a crime he'd committed and been convicted of. Only for me, there was no crime. I'd simply loved a woman who couldn't love me back.

I tried to move, dragging myself up into a standing position as my tremors took hold and I gave in to the phase, shredding my cut offs before I tore off like a bat out of hell into the forest.

I had to escape it. Had to get as far away from here as I could.

Away from her memory. Away from her smell. Away from the desire for her that had become damn near suffocating for me over the last two days.

I ran and ran and ran. Until the long stretch of forest gave way to the town line and I was forced to turn back, my lungs burning from exhaustion as I slowed my stride and huffed, the memory of Bella's words coming back to me when I took off again.

_"I do have faith in you."_

How could she think she was protecting me by leaving? She couldn't have been more wrong. Nothing but her could keep me from this fucking agony.

When the rain picked up and the forest faded once again, I felt the pull I hated creep steadily back into my bones. Everything in me aching to go after her. Fucking beg her to stay with me. To be with me. To let me protect her the way I was made to. As fucking screwed up as that was.

Every word I'd said to her was my truth. She had no idea what I'd do to keep her safe. What lines I'd cross, what damn boundaries I'd push, and what death I'd face just to make sure she was unharmed. But she wouldn't trust me with it. She couldn't just surrender it to me and that cut me as deep as watching her leave did.

When push came to shove, she didn't trust me with what mattered most. She didn't have enough faith in us. Which meant we had nothing.

I found myself lingering close to the Reservation as the early dawn approached, my every muscle throbbing and my every bone aching as I broke free from the tree cover that bordered my back yard. The empty feeling of it now making me want to turn and run and never look back. There was no way in hell I could be here.

I'd fallen for it. All over again. Taken her at her word. Trusted that her apologies were sincere, like she'd meant them. What the hell was wrong with me?

I skidded to a stop just shy of Sam and Emily's back yard, my wolf gaze barely catching sight of the movement in their kitchen. It was still so damn early and I contemplated phasing back and checking to see if Sam was in, but decided against it due to the ungodly hour. I turned back, ready to dart away again when the sound of my name being called made me pause.

"Jacob?" Emily yelled from the porch, waving for me to come closer.

I took cover in the trees and phased back to human form, snatching up the spare pair of cut offs that were stashed in Sam's infamous spot, tucked at the base of a nearby tree. He told us once in a pack meeting that if we ever found ourselves shit out of luck with no shorts left, to look for them here and help ourselves. All of us in the pack had needed to take him up on that offer on more than one occassion, and I was some damn thankful right about now that there was still a few stray pair remaining. Soaked or not, it sure in hell beat being buck naked. We all knew the real reason behind his kind gesture, he didn't want any of us trapsing around his house on the Res in nothing but our Birthday suits for Emily to get a good eyefull and we couldn't blame him. Hell, if it was me, I would've done the same.

I soon trudged out of the merky woods, seeing Emily cross her thin arms over her chest as she shivered in the rain, her expression growing worried when I appraoched.

"I know it's early. Sorry-" I offered, my tone heavy when I met her gaze.

"That's alright. Sam's not here. He's out on an early patrol. I thought you knew?"

Fuck...

"Yeah, I forgot. I shouldn't have-" I sighed, turning away from her and feeling like a complete tool for making her come out here in this shit, just to be reminded that Sam wasn't even fucking home yet.

What an idiot I was.

"Hey-wait a minute." She replied, taking hold of my arm before I could bolt. "What's going on, Jacob. You've never come here this early. Is something wrong?"

I struggled to even look at her, let alone give her an answer. She read my silence and guessed what had brought me here at this hour.

"... is it Bella? Something happen? Did she leave?"

I managed a nod, slowly turning back to face her while the light of dawn began to settle in around us.

"Oh, Jake." She sighed, with a shake of her head. "I'm sorry. Come inside and at least have some coffee? Sam should be back here in a little while."

"I dont wanna be a-"

"It's no trouble, really. I was just getting ready to fix myself a cup. I'm usually awake at this time most mornings." She confessed, lightly tugging on my arm, as I reluectantly followed her into the house.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I guess I've always been an early bird. I like to make breakfast and clean up long before Sam makes his way into the kitchen, but on the nights he runs longer patrol shifts, I can't sleep. So I've just grown used to making good use of my time when he's away."

I glanced around the kitchen, noting the huge plates of muffins, bagels, and donuts that lined the counter tops and staring at her in shock.

"How long have you been up this morning?"

"Since three." She shyly replied, handing me a hot cup of coffee.

"Wow, that's real early, Em."

"There's plenty here if you want some! Please help yourself! Take some back to Billy even! You know they'll be gone soon enough when the rest of the pack roams through here later."

"True, yeah. I'll take some back to him later. He'll definitely enjoy them. Thank you."

"Of course." She thoughtfully replied, leaning against the counter as her eyes sought mine. "What happened?"

"What always happens." I replied, hunkering down into one of the empty kitchen chairs and feeling the ache in my chest painfully throb at the memory of her driving away.

Emily went silent at this, with a look of disbelief clear on her face.

I took a haul from the coffee, my observant gaze slowly wandering down to focus on the way her hand was casually placed over her stomach, her delicate fingers splayed almost protectively there, and her thumb absentmindedly caressing the skin under her tank top.

She didn't notice that I'd picked up on this, her words ripping me from my suspicions as she voiced her thoughts on the matter,

"I don't get it. I saw her at that BBQ with you and there was nothing fake about how happy she was to be back here. Why would she come back just to take off again? After all the time that's passed?"

I shook my head to her with a shrug, the dreaded lump in my throat returning, as I stared at Emily's hand again. Her wedding ring proudly displayed there.

"I should've known better." I angrily stated, slamming the coffee mug down on the table.

"This isn't your fault, Jacob. It doesn't make any sense. She wouldn't have risked coming back here to you for nothing. There had to be a motive behind it."

"Yeah, there was. For her to screw with me all over again and just like the schmuck I am, I let her do it."

"You don't really believe that?" Emily countered.

"Yes, I do. What other reason would there be for her show up like that? She told me she made the wrong choice, Em. Made me think she really wanted things to be different for us. That she married him and she regretted it. She said she chose me. That it was me all along." I replied, feeling my agitation grow more and more by the second. I sucked in a sharp breath, gripping the mug in my hand with so much force that I was sure it would shatter any second.

"What would she gain by toying with you like that, Jacob? Making you believe all that? You really can't honestly think she's just playing games? She married Edward, built a life with him and the Cullen's in another state. No one, except Charlie, even had a clue where she was until recently or if she was even still human. She didn't become one of them, Jacob. She didn't follow through with that plan. She stayed in her own skin. That has to say something else to you."

I rose my head and met her sincere gaze, seeing the conviction behind it when she said this to me.

"Em…-" I sighed heavily, running a hand through my damp hair with exasperation evident in my tone now. "What the hell purpose did she have in doing any of it? She told me it was never what she really wanted. Staying with him, even when she knew she felt something stronger for me. Marrying him without admitting that those feelings never stopped and living with him for five years in Georgia. She told me on First Beach that it was all a complete lie. I know she's not happy and I don't think she ever was."

"She told you that?" Emily replied, sitting down in the chair beside me.

"She did."

"Why would she go back to that life then? Something has to be driving her to not stay here."

"When she went to Italy after Edward. To save his sorry ass. She made a deal with the Volturi." I truthfully stated then, seeing the confusion in Emily's face.

"The what?"

"Sam never explained any of that to you?"

"No, but I can see by the look on your face why he didn't." She timidly countered.

"The Volturi are the largest coven of Vampires there is. They are also the most powerful and are responsible for enforcing the laws of the vampire world. They have no morality and are ruthless when crossed or disobeyed."

Emily visibly cringed at this, her face paling before me as she struggled to grasp what I was saying.

"They reside in Italy?"

"Yes, in Volterra. Where Bella went before."

"What kind of deal did she make with these monsters?" Emily nervously inquired.

"She vowed to become a cold one, in exchange for her life at the time. They only allowed her to remain alive on the condition that she would be changed right after she married Edward."

"...and now she doesn't want that. She wants you, Jacob. She wants the life the two of you should've had from the start."

"I don't know what the hell she wants!" I half yelled, getting to my feet and pacing in front of Emily. "She doesn't trust me enough to keep her safe. She doesn't think I-..."

"That's not true." Emily replied, reaching a hand out toward me. "That's not what she's doing. You know she's trying like hell to protect you. Maybe even the whole pack. How big is this coven?"

I fought against the tremors that started at the images her words painted for me now. Our land being over run by those blood thirsty demons.

"Too many to count, Em. At least three times our numbers and that's if they didn't make any more to help them seek out their vengeance. We'd need the council and the elders to even stand a fighting chance."

"Jacob, you know this is the reason she went back. I don't have to tell you that. You already know it's true."

"I know her reasoning. That she thinks it's for the best, but it kills me that she doesn't have enough faith in me to protect her."

"I don't think that's what it is at all." Emily replied, slowly getting to her feet with a tired smile. "You know, there's not a time that Sam leaves here when I don't greatly fear that he may not come back to me that night. That the quick kiss he gave me before heading out the door, might be the very last one we'll ever have. I think of it all the time. So, I can tell you with confidence that I know what Bella's thinking here. It's so plain to see how much she still loves you, Jacob. It's written all over her face. the very same way it was before she left. That love is one of the best feelings in this world, but it's also the scariest thing sometimes. You should know that more than anyone. Life without her here has been hell on you. We've all seen it and we've all been hoping she'd come back. We were just terrified that when she did, it wouldn't be as Bella, but as one of the cold ones."

I drew in a shaky breath, gripping the back of the chair tightly in my hands as she continued.

"...but that didn't happen. She came back as your Bella. Human and warm and as someone who is absolutely terrified at the thought of putting you and the pack in harms way. She's seen the Volturi. She knows what you'd be up against and she wouldn't be human if that didn't scare the hell out of her. If it were you, if someone told you that they'd seek vengeance and hurt Bella if you broke your oath to them. Wouldn't you try to save her in the same way? Even if it meant running from the one person you wanted nothing more than to be with?"

I stared at her, unable to swallow as I thought of the desperation an ultimatum like that would drive me to.

"Would you run from Sam?"

"As much as it would break me to do it, and if I had no other choice to spare him of that, then yes I would. I'd do anything to keep him safe. No matter what. No matter how much it hurt to stay away."

I saw how her hand went back to her stomach as she eyes met mine and I voiced my suspicions then.

"... but he'd cross hell and back twice to keep the both of you safe, Emily. I'd do no less for Bella."

She merely nodded to me in reply, her gaze becoming glossy as she looked toward the hand still on her stomach.

"I know he would and I know you would do the same for her."

"How far along are you?"

"Only four weeks. We haven't told anyone yet. You're the first to know."

"Your secret is safe with me. Tell Sam I said congratulations. No one deserves happiness like the two of you do." I replied, pulling her into a tight hug.

"You're wrong, Jacob. You and Bella deserve that, too."

I left there with her words still on my mind as I jogged back into the forest and headed for home.

**A/N: Hey all my wonderful readers! Sorry I didn't get the chance to post this chapter last night before bed, but I am already working on the next update and will be posting that this evening! I hope you all enjoyed this new chapter and please feel free to leave me a review and tell me your thoughts :-) Should Jacob listen to Emily!?**


	22. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO**

**(BPOV)**

I stood there in the pouring rain, staring at his front door. The dim light from a new day now brightening the yard, as I remained there immobile.

I should get in my truck and go to Charlie's. Get out of these wet clothes before I catch my death out here, but I couldn't even find the will to do that right now. The knowledge of me being too late making me sob into the bitter silence around me.

This was my punishment for hurting him one too many times. For not being the kind of strong woman who stood her ground and fought for what she wanted, but who always caved in the end. I loathed that part of myself and I had come here to change that. To become better but this didn't feel better and the longer I stood here, the more the ripping sensation within my chest grew, the hollowed edges of the emptiness there now filling with heavy guilt and regret.

This felt like I was being torn apart from the inside out. The same old shattered feeling now in my heart as before. I'd turned my back on him again. Made him feel less than, like he wasn't good enough for me when the exact opposite was true. I was so tired of putting us through this. So tired of always keeping him just close enough for me to hold onto, yet shoving him away with the other free hand whenever things got hard. I could only imagine how sick of all this he was by now. I wouldn't blame him if he never wanted to see my face again. A person can only take some much damn heartache and disappointment, before turning away from the source of it for good. There came a time when everyone had to look out for themselves, and let the toxicity in their life go, just so they weren't emotionally wrecked from it any longer.

How could a warm heart like his ever love a heart like mine? Someone who had torn his to pieces more times, and in more ways than I could even count now.

I'd lost all track of time, not knowing in minutes or even hours just how long I had been standing out here like this. I knew it was long enough for me to see the dark of night fade into the dreary, and hazy light of another Washington day, and long enough for me to shiver so much that I'd nearly become numb.

What had I done?

Jacob wasn't just everything I wanted. He was everything I needed. He gave me countless reasons to love all that he did and all that he aspired to be. All of his hopes and dreams. He didn't just make me better, make me whole, he made me want to be a better person. He was like a fire in me that could never be put out.

He wasn't coming back. I was still standing here for nothing.

Paul had shown up at one point, trying to get me to at least get in my truck and out of the rain, but I had refused. I didn't want to move from here until I saw him. Until I told him how sorry I was for running away like that. Paul had promised he would go looking for him, but that felt like a long time ago, and I was sure he was miles from La'Push by now. If I were him, I'd want to get far away, too.

I leaned against the hood of my truck, feeling so small, my eyes still glued to his porch as visions of the future I wanted with him more than my next breath, played out before me.

The Summer meals we'd have on this very porch. The picnics and the sound of our children laughing while they played in the front yard. Jacob rebuilding parts of this house with his bare hands and making memories with us before sunset. The pictures we'd hang on the walls. The conversations we'd share in the evenings. The laughter and the tears. The good times and the hard. The stupid and meaningless fights we'd have just to make up, and forget what the hell we were even fighting about to begin with.

I wanted it all. Every damn part of it.

I tucked my trembling arms around my midsection, huddling in on myself further as the rain continued to drench every part of me. I pulled myself up onto the hood, sitting there and waiting. For what? I didn't even know anymore, but every time I had almost convinced myself to give up and go to Charlie's, something would stop me. I knew in reality, I was being stubborn and that it would probably cost me a nasty cold as a result, but I didn't care. I wasn't ready to give up and leave.

I thought of the last time I'd waited in the rain like this for Jacob. When he was new to the pack and I was losing my mind trying to reach him, imagining all the wrong scenarios he'd found himself in with Sam. Back when I had no clue what was real and what wasn't, and that monsters and magic were not all bedtime fairytales here in Washington.

When my hands began to feel like ice, I slowly slid down the hood as the heated tears returned, my sobs ripping from me when I turned and made my way around to the drivers side of my truck. My trembling fingers reached out for the door handle and with a defeated and empty cry, I yanked it open.

I felt I had no choice but to get in and drive back to Forks. I would surely freeze to death out here if I waited any longer. He wasn't coming back. At least not this morning. I could at least get into some dry clothes, and come back in less than an hour if I hurried. I hastily fumbled for the keys in my soaked pocket, dropping them onto the soggy ground in my rush, and struggling to fish them out of the swamp like earth beneath me. My frozen fingers took hold of them again, just as I caught sight of the slight movement there in the tree line straight ahead. I paused, my breathing ceasing and my heart soaring into a sprint when I lifted my head and saw him standing there, barely visible before he took another step forward. He stood up straight at the sight of me, his body going rigid and his stance unmoving as I froze there. Neither one of us moved or spoke, as the several seconds that felt like agonizing minutes, went by. The look of disbelief plaguing his features easy for me to see even at this distance.

I was wrong. I wasn't too late. He'd come back. He hadn't taken off for days at a time like before.

I watched as his hands flexed and slowly balled into tight fists at his sides, his body now soaked through to the bone like mine. His hair fell into his face, the length of it long enough to barely touch his eyes, as his breaths surrounded him in a vapor from the cold in the air. Every one of them heaving out of him, and causing his toned abs to flex with each frigid one. As if he were struggling to stay still, while fighting with something I couldn't see but knew was definitely there. Like the wolf was getting ready to explode out of him at any moment.

His look alone arrested me with a tangible weight, and I felt the fire settle into my very being, as I shut the truck door and headed his way. I could hear my heart beating in my ears, loud and incessant, unable to be ignored as I drew closer to him.

He still hadn't moved and I waited for him to say something, anything, for his harsh words to be my undoing if he shouted for me to leave again. Only this time, I wouldn't be going anywhere. I was done with running from him and I was done letting my fear hold me captive. Done denying what every part of me yearned for with a hunger so profound that I felt as If I would suffocate without his touch, without his strong arms around me, or without the sound of my name coming from his lips again.

I had tried not to love him. Tried not to think of him. Driven myself half crazy with every dream or nightmare I'd had of him in the last five years. I was beyond exhausted from fighting it. Beyond spent from trying not to want him. I was losing this war of wills and I didn't care, because all I wanted to do right now was surrender everything to him.

I barely made it to his porch before my steps slowed at the sight of his hand firmly clutching his chest again, the look of anger and pain on his face making me pause just a few feet shy of him. I tried to stop shivering but it was pointless. I was frozen to the bone from being out here as long as I had. I saw him wince, as he looked me over then, his dark and heated gaze sweeping over me from head to toe in seconds, and his whole body beginning to tremble when he moved forward.

"I need you." I choked out to him. "You're where I want to be and I know they'll come for me... -the Volturi…-but I don't want to be without you. I'm sorry. I didn't want to leave and I shouldn't have-... -I do trust you...- I do know you can keep me safe...- I-... I- I'm so tired of fighting this. I'm so sorry. I don't want this to be it for us. I don't want us to be over-..."

"We'll never be over. Not ever." Jacob huskily replied, closing any remaining distance between us when he swiftly pulled me forward, his hands urgently cradling my face as his lips hungrily seized mine. A needy groan emanated from the back of his throat and I kissed him with equal fervor, as he hauled me up into his arms and headed for the house. My hands slid up his sculpted chest and wrapped around the back of his neck, while my fingers tangled into the roots of his soaked hair. His strong hold kept me anchored tightly to him when he roughly kicked open the front door and slammed it shut behind us. He balanced me with one arm, keeping me secured to him, while he blindly reached out for the deadbolt and locked it, his body like a furnace with the heat that it gave off. I couldn't cease the moan that escaped me when his tongue pushed past my parted lips, his taste making me pull him closer, as my body quivered and heated with anticipation.

He pressed me up against the kitchen wall, his warm hand sliding up my waist and taking the hem of my drenched shirt with it. I shuddered and brushed my tongue against his at the feel of his fingertips grazing along my bare skin. His hand now splayed across my ribs as he pushed my shirt up higher. I mewled when his hand firmly cupped my breast through the thin material of my bra, my hips rocking upward when he pushed against me harder.

"Jacob-..." I breathed, unable to hide the want in my voice.

He pulled us back from the wall with a groan then, his kiss wild and my response desperate as he headed through the house, my body coming alive like an electric current from his touch. We made it half way down the hall, before I slid down his taut body and reached for his cut offs, my fingers nimbly working the button and zipper, and tugging at them, seeing them fall to the floor. His erection was now free from it's constraints and he was utter perfection. So damn beautiful that I struggled to even breathe. His hands unbuttoned my jeans and slowly slid them down my thighs until I was left in only my black lace panties. I felt the heat creep up my neck as Jacob swiftly pulled my shirt over my head, his dark eyes searching mine, before he hauled me back up into his arms and burst into his room. His hand reaching around to unclasp my bra when he laid me down beneath him on the bed.

His hands were gentle but firm and I never knew such a delicious burn could exist, until the feel of his tongue gliding along my sensitive flesh made me want to combust. Every stroke and swirl making me writhe there beneath him, my hands gripping the sheets when he drew himself up my body and kissed me thoroughly, the taste of my arousal still on his tongue when he ran his fingertips along my slick folds, his touch teasing and promising. His lips were at my ear with hushed words that made the heavy ache between my legs throb with a renewed fire.

"You feel so good. You're perfect. Every inch of you, honey."

He worked me till my legs trembled and I damn near begged him for more, my body already so close to the brink that I could hardly form words when he settled himself between my naked thighs. His arms pressing me flush to him as he entered me with one solid thrust. The fullness enough to send me over the edge with a cry that echoed through the empty house. My nails raked down his firm back, his every thrust going deeper than the last and filling me so completely, that his name fell unrequited from my lips over and over. I'm helpless to silence the sounds he pulls from me.

"Jacob..."

His heated skin had erased every ounce of cold from my own, his hold on me tight, like he couldn't bare the thought of us being even an inch apart right now.

I knew he was close when his gaze sought mine, and I become lost in the unconditional love and devotion that I see there. His hand skimmed down my stomach and his fingertips circled the sensitive pearl that soon brought me to a gripping release with him, our eyes locked and our hearts pounding together as we stayed lost in only each other.

**A/N: Ahhh! I know it's really late for an update! But I spoiled you with two in one day! Please leave a review and tell me your thoughts on this chapter. Song inspiration for this update brought to you by: Ruelle- "Fear on Fire." Give it a listen :-)**


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE**

**(BPOV)**

I woke up to the comforting feel of Jacobs arms sliding around my waist, gently drawing me into him, his lips grazing my ear and his tone gravelly when he spoke.

"Bells, it's almost noon and Charlie's called twice looking for you."

I didn't want to open my eyes. I selfishly wanted the rest of the world to leave us the hell alone. Just for a little while longer.

"Hmm... it's okay."

"You know he'll show up here soon if one of us doesn't get in touch with him."

"I want to stay here with you."

"I know you do and I want that, too honey. More than anything."

I sighed, knowing how right he was about Charlie and dreading to move even an inch out of the blissful state I was in with him. My eyes fluttered open when I felt Jacobs warm hand skim across my lower abdomen, his mouth pressing a languid kiss to the back of my neck, an indrawn breath from me now being the only sound between us. We were wrapped up in the mess of sheets, his legs carefully tangled with mine and his chin coming to rest on my shoulder.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt this way. So whole and so sated. Like the world itself could cave in around us and I wouldn't care.

I didn't want that to end. I didn't want to face everything waiting for us outside his front door. I'd been so terrified that he wasn't coming back before. That after everything, we had become broken beyond repair and it was over. That he'd never trust me again. When I'd seen him emerge from the trees, I had to stop myself from running to him. From jumping into his arms and never letting go of him again. We'd held each other until sleep had claimed us both and now it was time to face the aftermath of it all, something I knew would be far harder than either one of us had yet realized. Like the result of a hurricane, or a flood, you never could tell just how extensive the damage truly was until the weather cleared and the light broke through.

"Are you going back to Charlie's later?" He soon asked.

"I don't want to-..." I admitted to him.

"Stay here with me, honey."

"There are things I have to-"

"I know." He replied, his voice full of a nearly tangible fear.

"I'm not going to leave you again, Jacob. I promise. No more running. I'm done with it. I'm sorry I ever put you through that."

I knew he needed to hear this assurance from me. After all the time's I'd wavered before and all the stupid choices from the past, I wanted him to have some peace of mind right now. As much as I could offer him at least. It would take time for us to rebuild the trust I had broken, and I was willing to give him all that and more to prove that I meant what I said to him before. Every word of it.

He was where I belonged. Where my heart was meant to be.

"You know that I'll always protect you, right? No matter what happens."

"I do, but that doesn't mean I'm not scared for you."

"I'm scared of not being with you." He truthfully countered, his tone hoarse with his admission to me.

"I'm staying right here."

Butterflies flew with abandon in my stomach and my skin hummed at the feel of his hard chest pressed against my bare back while I laid there, unwilling to break away from him yet. A shiver ran up my spine when I heard his breathing change, his every intake and release of air, ghosting down my neck and making me press myself even closer to him. Jacob tightened his hold on me, as his soft lips touched the bare skin of my shoulder and swept across my upper back, his tongue barely grazing the hollow groove of my neck. I melted into him, my body warming to his as he continued to caress the bare skin just a few inches south of my navel. My head fell back against his shoulder, and I couldn't stop the gasp that left me when Jacobs firm length pressed into my back. One hand roamed up to knead my breast while the other slid further down my abdomen, his fingers slowly parting my wet lips with a throaty moan. I was putty in his hands when he rolled my pert nipple between his thumb and index finger, sending a delicious jolt through me while he let his fingers dip dangerously close to my entrance. He worked my flesh, now swollen with need, this way and in no time, I'm a wet and panting mess for him, my back arching with a desperate plea being pulled from my dry throat.

"Jacob... please."

He stilled his movements then and claimed my lips, his tongue meeting mine with a groan, as I turned myself toward him. His strong arms pulled me up to straddle his lap, his erection rubbing me in all the right places, as I kiss him with a passion I'd never known till now. His hands roamed down my back, soon cupping my ass and hauling me forward as he drew up on his knees and pressed me back down into the mattress. I could barely draw in another shaky gasp of air when I felt his hot breath ghost over my sex. His husky words making me eager with want and strangled with need.

"You're so fucking beautiful, Bells."

I'm soon reduced to incoherent moans as his skilled tongue works me into a frenzy. My body quivering and every muscle in it drawn taut as my hips bucked. My hands tugged at the roots of his hair and I nearly sobbed when he suddenly stopped, his mouth swiftly being replaced by his strong fingers. He slid them deep inside me, his kiss possessive as I clung to him. His fingers curved upward, pushing against one spot over and over again until I can no longer stop from saying his name.

"Jacob!"

I climaxed hard around his fingers, my head falling back and my limbs feeling useless, as I rode out the last few spasms of my euphoric high. My face and chest were flush with vibrant color as he flipped us, my legs wrapping around his waist when he settled me on top of him. His intense eyes burned with a tangible and hungry fire when I straddled him there, his lust filled gaze roaming down over my naked form rocking above him. My hips rolled forward and my hair fell down my back as I looked heavenward, convinced that this was as close to it as I would ever come. There was no better feeling than being this close to him. Skin to skin. His hands steadied me, firmly gripping my hips when I sunk down onto him. The exquisite feel of him pushing all the way up to the hilt, making me cry out and spasm. My body near collapsing onto his as the sweltering heat between us filled every part of me. I watched as his eyes drank me in, my hands coming down on his chest as I rode him, getting lost in the feeling of complete control.

I was soon breathless, my body spent and trembling there above his. He swiftly took hold of me, placing me beneath him again, as his thrusts went so deep that I couldn't silence the cries that came from me. He pressed his cheek to mine, his release spreading through him and my name spilling from his parted lips.

"Bella."

He didn't move as I cradled his face, his forehead pressed against my own before kissing me deeply. I tightened my legs around him, desperate not to let go of this feeling with him until we absolutely had to.

"I'm not ready to leave here yet. Can we stay like this for a little while longer?" I softly asked, when he broke our kiss, his eyes meeting mine with his sincere reply.

"We can stay here like this as long as you want to. I don't want to let you go yet, either. Not ever."

His head came to rest just below my heart and I gently ran my fingertips through his thick hair, hearing his breathing even out as he drifted off to sleep there in my arms. This is what my soul had been missing all along... _My Jacob._

**A/N: …. hey everyone! This is a shorter chapter, but an update nonetheless! I hope you all enjoyed the last two chapters and the development between Jacob and Bella... but as we all know... this is the calm before the storm. ;-) SO STAY TUNED! Please leave a review and tell me your thoughts! I'm always so thrilled to see each of them! Also... any spelling or grammar errors I don't catch at first, I do promise to fix in a timely manor! Trust me, it drives me crazy when I miss something! So please have patience with me! Thank you! Happy Reading.. Till Next Time!**


	24. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR**

**(JPOV)**

I stood in the doorway, watching her sleep comfortably in my bed. The sheets were wrapped around her tiny waist and legs, but her top half was completely bare. Her beautiful breasts rising and falling with every breath she took. She had no idea how captivating she was. How she set my heart racing, it's pounding beat like a drum whenever I saw her.

I should know better but I don't.

Why didn't I have enough sense to back away?

I should know that staring at her smooth naked skin would only make me want her more, but I couldn't tear my eyes from her perfection. My hand tightened around the coffee mug I was holding, as she stirred and turned herself toward me. Her hair falling into her face when her hand reached out across the empty space next to her. Her eyes flew open wide while she reached further, her hands quickly gathering the sheets around her as she sat up and frantically looked around the room.

She got to her feet and stilled once she noted me there in the doorway, her eyes brightening and her smile wide with a sigh of relief, as she scurried across the floor and pressed herself close to my chest.

"Why didn't you wake me? How long have I been asleep this time?"

"...because I knew you needed your rest. You haven't been asleep much longer than I was. How long has it been since you had a full nights sleep?" I countered.

"I can't remember." She honestly replied, wrapping her arms around me and drawing in a shaky breath.

"Same, sweetheart."

"Must be late in the afternoon by now? Please don't tell me it's already past lunch time?"

"Yeah, it is. Pretty damn close to dinner time, honey." I replied, placing my chin on top of her head.

"Has Charlie called again?"

"About an hour ago. I told him I'd drive you back home before dark tonight."

I felt her pull back, her perfect eyes searching mine with a tangible sadness in them. I set my coffee mug down on the nightstand beside me and took her face in my hands. "You don't have to leave, Bells."

"...but I should. Me staying here will only cause more trouble for you and the pack. You know it's true."

"Don't worry about that. We'll be okay."

She leaned up on her tip toes, her lips a shallow breath away from mine with her sincere reply.

"...but I do worry."

"We'll face it when it comes. Together. Is that still what you want?" I nervously asked, my chest painfully tightening at the thought of her changing her damn mind. Whether she knew it or not, she had the power to completely destroy my world and I hated the vulnerability of it, but I needed her more than she could ever comprehend.

She pressed herself further into me, her lips barely ghosting mine as she sucked in a shaky breath.

"I want you, Jacob."

My thumb grazed across her bottom lip as I pulled her against me, the thin sheet falling to the cold floor at our feet when my hand slid down her side, lightly trailing over her hip, before firmly cupping her ass in my palm. She moaned into my mouth and my dick twitched at the very sound, it's hardening length pressing firmly into her lower stomach. Her arms roamed up over my chest, and her hands were tangling in my hair before I'd even kissed her. She wasn't timid as her tongue tasted mine, the alluring scent of her arousal now heavy in the air and making me impossibly hard for her.

Fuck...

She was intoxicating and I couldn't get enough of her.

I deepened our kiss and tugged gently on the roots of her mahogany hair, tilting her head back as my mouth trailed further down along her collar bone, seeking out the hollow groove of her neck. She gasped as I continued to move down her body, her legs nearly giving out when I swirled my tongue around her pert nipple and ran my fingertips down her bare abdomen.

Her delicate hand reached for me then, the feel of her fingers dipping below the waistband of my sweats, making me ache to be buried deep in her. She tugged them down and I let out a groan when she stroked the length of my shaft, her hand wrapping tightly around me as my fingers slid easily along her sweet flesh. She broke our kiss with a needy moan that sent a jolt through me, as my fingertips found the sweet spot that made her cheeks flush with vibrant color and her chest heave with her labored breaths. Her strokes were firm and I fought against the fire that her touch set off inside me, as her eyes opened and held my own, her gaze clouded with lust and sexy as hell. I stepped out of my sweats and hauled her naked body up in my arms, her long legs wrapping tightly around my bare torso as I headed for the kitchen with her. I laid her down on the table, tearing my mouth from hers as my tongue brushed across the soft flesh of her abdomen and dipped further to taste the sweet honey that was dripping from her swollen lips. The feel of her under my tongue made me damn near come apart. Every flick and swirl making her legs tremble and her cries become louder. I was drunk on her taste and when her hands went into my hair, pulling me closer to her, I spread her legs wider and held them in place, listening to her breathy and desperate moans.

Like a drug I couldn't get enough of. The high never ending and making me throb and pulse with every sound that I pulled from her.

Her back arched with a loud gasp and her legs struggled to close when her climax flooded through her. I pulled her body closer, inching her toward the very end of the table and running my fingertips along her sensitive flesh while her hips bucked. She begged me for more and I gave all of myself to her with one hard thrust. My gaze was fixed on the sight of her coming apart in front of me, her hands gripping the edges of the table and her eyes closed, as I slowly drew out of her and firmly pushed back in. One hand tightly held her hip while the other worked the sensitive nub between her legs that pushed her over the brink, soon sending her into a body shaking release. Just the sight of her was enough to be my undoing and I struggled not to give in as she pushed herself into me, trying to match my thrusts with her own. Her body fit so fucking completely with my own and with every thrust, she would only tremble more. Her chest now flush with a beautiful pink color that crept up her neck and settled into her cheeks.

It was there.

On the very tip of my fucking tongue.

The words I longed to say to her but feared what would happen if I did.

I bit my tongue as she said my name then.

"Jacob."

She had no idea how just the sound of it coming from her like that made me want to lose it. I could feel the wolf as he tried to take over, the sense of his reign now just beneath the surface as I withdrew from her. She audibly whimpered at the sudden loss of contact from me as I swiftly gathered her back in my arms. My lips were eager to taste hers when I hauled her up off the wooden table, shoving open the bathroom door and turning on the warm shower.

I held her tightly to me and pressed her against the shower wall, slowly filling her again with a ragged breath. Her cry was strangled and breathless as the water poured over us both, my eyes locking with hers when she tightened her legs around me and held me close. Her words making the choking lump in my throat return.

"I don't wanna know what it's like to live without you anymore."

I could hear the emotion in her voice and I hoisted her up further, my lips claiming her own as the steam filled the air around us. Her hands moved the hair out of my face as she held my gaze then, her tears there as they mixed with the water from the showers steady flow.

I felt like every shattered part of me was being knit together when she pressed her forehead to mine, her body shaking like a leaf as I picked up my pace with her. I was close and I knew she could sense it when her lips found my ear, and she whispered the words that made me lose all control.

"You're where my heart belongs. You've had it all along. I love you, Jacob."

Every wall I'd ever built up came crashing down around me, my thrusts going deeper and deeper with each one. She clung to me, her arms drawing me closer and her kiss reaching into the deepest part of my soul as my release took hold. I held her tight as the water began to run cold, my hand reaching up to turn it off as the two of us breathlessly stared at each other. Our hearts beating a thousand miles a minute now as the weight of her words sank in.

**A/N: Hi everyone! Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! It is great to hear from all of you! Please look for another update later today and let me know your thoughts on this new chapter! Till Next Time... HAPPY READING!**


	25. Chapter 25

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE**

**(BPOV)**

I stared out at the morning fog, seeing it cover Jacobs backyard in a thick vapor as my hand shakily clutched my cell phone. I hesitantly turned it on, watching while the screen lit and the greeting symbol faded away. I heard the many alert notifications when they all came in at once. A steady flow of texts and voicemails. Some of them from just Edward, while others were from Alice and even a few from Carlisle. I drew in a breath and glanced down to see the total count of them to be over thirty, my eyes growing wide upon reading the last text Edward had sent to me yesterday just before midnight.

I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE. I'LL SEE YOU SOON MY LOVE.

I nervously bit down on my bottom lip, my anxiety peaking as I thought of him coming here. He knew better than to cross over on La'Push lands, but given my silence over the past four days, I didn't think he had any intention of honoring that treaty right now. I shuddered as I pondered what the hell that could mean and how it threw the entire pack into the line of fire. I had half expected Alice to show up here first, before the extended weekend had ended, but the lack of her presence made me suspicious to think that she already knew where I was days ago. She'd been the one to tell me that Jacob was no longer living in Washington and I'd believed her. Was she lying to me on purpose? Trying to get me to forget about Jacob one way or the other?

I shook my head in confusion and looked back down at the phone, my heart plummeting further when I listened to the many voicemails from Edward. All of them full of devout concern for my welfare and confusion on why I would pick up and take off the way I had. I deleted each one after listening to it and felt my skin grow cold from the last one I'd heard from Alice.

_Bella... I know your phone is off but you have to at least check in with Edward. He's losing his mind about you... You're future is hazy for me, I can't see you clearly and I know that means you're with Jacob. I haven't told Edward about your whereabouts, but he'll see it from my thoughts eventually. You know the treaty is firm. We can't be on his lands without consequences. This leaves our hands tied. If you're back there with him because you're confused about things, please call me back and I can meet you somewhere. Maybe even diffuse this mess a little. Edwards drawn up a million wrong conclusions. He blames Jacob for this. Thinks he's been toying with your head all this time somehow. He's gone a bit crazy from your disappearance. When you get this, call me._

I set the phone down, gazing out to the vast forest that surrounded me, my eyes scanning closely to see if anything moved. He would come here. Even though he already knew the damn consequences for doing so. I had to unravel the mess I'd created before someone got hurt or worse.

I turned on my heel and stopped short at the sight of Jacob stepping out of the bathroom, his hair still wet from the shower and his eyes meeting mine with a knowing look before I even had a chance to speak.

"He called."

I nodded, looking away from him and struggling to string together the right response for him.

Jacob let out a sigh and reached out a hand for me, his expression unreadable when he nodded toward the front door. I took his offered arm and headed outside into the brisk morning air with him, his arms wrapping around my shoulders and his lips pressing into my damp hair before he spoke.

"Tell me what you're thinking, honey."

I stilled there in his arms, my eyes peering out to take in the beauty of another sunrise with him.

"I have to fix this."

I felt him tighten his grip on me, his body going rigid as he reached around and laced his fingers through mine.

"Are you leaving?"

"I have to."

He released me so fast that I shivered at the sudden loss of his touch.

"You don't." He countered, his eyes hardening when he looked my way.

"I can't just leave things like this. I made a vow-"

"... and your vows are shot to hell now don't you think?"

His tone was heated and bitter and I struggled to keep my composure.

"Yes- probably-... I- I don't know if-" I replied, looking away from him and trying not to let my emotions get the better of me.

Wh-what the hell does that mean? You don't know? Don't know what? If he'll forgive you for this?"

I saw the tremor roll through him as he gripped the railing of the porch, the force of his hands causing the wood to creak under it in protest.

"No- that's not what I meant at all. I don't- his forgiveness isn't what- you're not-" I stammered in frustration. "This wasn't a mistake. What happened between us."

Jacob looked my way, his face hard and his eyes lit with fire.

"I never said we were a mistake. But the fact that you have to throw that out there as justification to yourself, tells me that some part of you thinks we are. That what happened was bad error in judgement or something to get out of your system."

"Stop! You know that's not true!" I yelled, holding his steely gaze and wishing for everything to be different, but it wasn't.

He went mute then, his hands releasing the porch railing as he stalked out around me. I followed him into the front yard, his back turned toward me and his tremors making him struggle to stay on two legs.

"Are you going back to him?" He soon asked me through gritted teeth.

I placed my hand on his arm, willing him to turn and face me instead of running from this like he wanted to.

"No."

I saw the tension leave his form then, his eyes wandering over my face before he looked back toward the tree line.

"He's coming here, right? They all are?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"I don't know, but I have to go back to Forks before he shows up on your lands. You know what a fight that would be."

"He'll try to tell you that we're wrong, Bells. I know him and I know how he works. He uses coercion and manipulation. Plays on your heart strings and you cave. I can't go through that. I won't. So, if you have any doubt-"

"I don't doubt us but I have to do this the right way, Jacob."

"Divorce?" He replied with a shake of his head. "You really think it will be that simple with him? You should know better."

"I know that I can't keep living like this and that no matter what happens, it doesn't erase the fact that I chose you."

"He won't let you out that easily, Bells."

"I have to try." I replied, taking his hand and holding it tight.

"He could convince you-"

"He won't. I'm not that confused person anymore, Jacob. I know where my heart is. It's with you. It always has been. I don't want to keep pretending and living a lie. It's killing the both of us."

I tugged him closer to me, seeing the prominent fear etched in his handsome face as he looked down and met my gaze.

"When are you going back to Charlies? This morning?"

"Yes, will you drive me? I know you have patrol at noon."

"I'll take you."

"Thank you." I replied, leaning up and placing a kiss to his cheek. He took hold of me, his forehead pressing to mine when he wrapped me in his arms.

"Come back to me tonight, Bells."

"I will. I'll be waiting for you at Charlie's when you're done with patrol."

"...and if he shows up in the meantime?"

"I'm going to tell him the truth, Jacob. That I love you and that I want a divorce. I know you think he's a monster, but he wouldn't want me to stay with him if I'm unhappy. That's not Edward. I think he's known this was coming for a while."

"You place far more faith in him than I do. If something happens, or if he tries something-"

"I'll get ahold of you. Please trust me. I'm not going anywhere this time. I promise you, Jacob."

He nodded and placed a kiss to my forehead, his hand holding tightly to mine when he soon swung open my truck door. I climbed in and he followed suit, his hand firmly gripping the steering wheel as he backed out and left La'Push.

**A/N: Hey everyone! Short chapter update today before work! There will be another this evening! Please leave me a review and tell me your thoughts on what you think is going to happen when Edward finally shows up looking for Bella!? Till Next Time! :-)**


	26. Chapter 26

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX**

**(BPOV)**

The chill in my skin wouldn't fade, despite Jacobs closeness while we drove to Charlie's. I knew what was coming and the fear I felt over it was enough to send me into a full blown panic attack. The outcome of this wouldn't be settled by a mere conversation and I hated to admit that Jacob had a valid point when he told me he didn't believe that everything with Edward would dissolve that simply either.

There were so many variables and so many unknowns.

The sight of Charlie's house coming into view made my stomach churn and my head throb with a migraine that was beginning from the stress of all this. I fiddled with the wolf charm on my bracelet, feeling Jacobs thumb caress the top of my hand when we pulled slowly into the driveway. Charlie's police cruiser was there and I offered him half a smile when he appeared outside on the steps with a wave to us.

"Are you ready?"

"No, I don't think you can ever really be ready for something like this." I truthfully replied.

"Is Charlie off today?"

"I'm not sure. He's normally at the station by now. He must have taken a sick day."

"I hope he stays here with you, Bells. It would make me feel better."

I glanced over at him, seeing his jaw tighten and his chest heave with worry.

"He wouldn't hurt me, Jacob."

"I don't trust him. Not at all." He haughtily countered. "You don't know what state of mind he's in. That worries me for you. Immensely."

"Alice said in her voicemail that he's not been himself since I left."

"In what way?" Jacob questioned, his eyes narrowing further when he met my gaze.

"She didn't specify. I'm not sure exactly what she meant, but I never called him back since I've been here and that has to have him in a bad place."

"He'll be in a real bad fucking place if he tries something-" He warned then in a feral tone, his very skin heating under my touch as he spoke.

"He's not going to try anything. He knows I'm here and that I'm with you. He knows I chose it."

"Bella, he plays on your emotions. It's the kind of selfish bullshit he pulls with you. I've watched him do it before. I don't want him putting ideas into your head, or trying to place doubt in you about us but I know damn well he will."

I grew silent then and opened the door, my steps shaky when I climbed out and leaned against my truck, my eyes now focused on the white GMC still parked next to Charlie's cruiser.

"You want me to return this for you? I could take it in today before I meet Sam for patrol?"

"You'd do that?" I asked, watching him run his hand appreciatively over the hood.

"Sure, sure."

"It's the largest vehicle I've ever driven." I timidly confessed.

"Rig like this is made for families. Full of children and road trips and memories."

His words made me pause there when I recognized the undeniable longing that was written in his features as he said this to me.

"...or a little girl who looks just like me and a boy whose eyes are like yours laughing in the back seat?"

"Yeah, honey. Something like that."

I could hardly remember to breathe as he held my gaze for the longest time then, the two of us growing silent and oblivious to the fact that Charlie was still standing outside waiting for me. One look like this from him and I could see it all, so plainly in front of me. The life I longed for with him. The future I dared to dream of for us.

He approached me, his hands going in my hair as he gently tilted my face up to look at him. His words making my heart nearly break through my chest with its pounding beat.

"I want everything with you. I know it's gonna be hard and that it won't be easy, but anything worth having in this life takes work. You're worth it. All of it. I know the odds are stacked against us and that we haven't got everything figured out yet. Not even close, but I don't care. I want you and only you... all of you … forever. I wanna build your every dream with my own two hands. Go through this crazy life with you. I have faith in you, Bells. I believe in you and I believe in us."

I kissed him then, not caring about the audible gasp I heard come from Charlie as a result. Jacob pulled me close and deepened the kiss, and I struggled to even recall where I was or my own name when his lips molded to mine. I was doused in Deja Vu then. Reminded of how this kiss felt just like the one on the mountain all those years ago. How he poured everything he was into it. How his strong hands roamed up my back, setting my skin on fire from his touch. How he told me without words what I meant to him.

I pulled away breathless, my eyes searching his before he nuzzled my cheek and reluctantly let go of me. I watched him give a nod to Charlie and slowly back away from me. His every step making the worry in his face return and the tension in his very stature grow. He jumped into the rental car and started it up as I headed for the house, the sound of the engine making me want to run back to him and ask him to stay with me. To face Edward with me, but that was the cowards way out. This was my doing and I needed to be the one to handle it. Plus, I knew just how hostile things could get if he did stay and I wanted to avoid that at all costs if possible. The less trouble I brought to the pack and to Jacob, the better.

I met a disgruntled Charlie on the porch steps and turned to catch Jacobs wave as he left. Every part of me not wanting him to go.

"Mind telling me just what the hell is going on here?"

I raised my head and met Charlie's irritated gaze as I walked past him into the house. He was fast on my heels.

"Dad, I'm sorry I didn't come home last night and that I didn't call."

"Jacob called. That's not what I'm upset about. You were supposed to handle this whole thing better! Remember our talk at the BBQ!? What the hell happened to that?"

"Nothing's changed!" I defended, seeing him shrink back some upon hearing my hostile tone.

"Oh really? Spending the whole weekend with him wasn't part of the plan? That's how you intended to handle things? You know, there's a proper way to do this and then there's-"

"What are you saying, dad?" I angrily countered, whirling around to face him when he shut the front door.

"I'm saying that your husband has called me three times just since four this morning and that your sister in law did the same! I lied for you. Told them I hadn't seen you and that I didn't know where you were. I'm sure they saw right through it but I tried."

"You didn't have to-..."

"Yes, I did. What was I supposed to say? That you were hunkered down in Jacobs house with him on the Reservation!?"

I swallowed hard, my eyes welling with tears as he looked my way again.

"No, you weren't supposed to be lying for me and I'm sorry I put you in that position in the first place. It wasn't fair of me to do. I'm here now and I'll take care of it."

Charlie grabbed a beer from the fridge and popped it open, his eyes going to the window and his cheeks reddening with his reply.

"You kissed him and I can only assume that after staying the weekend with him that other things took place. Things you can't simply explain your way through. Do you have any idea how rough his life has been since your wedding!? For years, whenever we talked on the phone, you didn't even want me to mention his name and now you're-"

"I love him." I choked out, my eyes unwilling to meet his as he slammed his beer down on the counter and drew in closer to me.

"...hey, look at me." Charlie hedged, his finger coming up under my chin as I lifted my face to his. "You love him?"

All I could manage was a nod, my body trembling from the emotion I fought and from the disappointment I feared I'd see in his eyes now.

Charlie moved back then as he ran a hand over his tired face, his look stuck somewhere between relief and dread.

"... did you tell him that?"

"Yes." I softly replied, seeing his eyes go wide in response.

"Bella, I've watched the boy be there for you time and time again. He was the only thing that pulled you out of that hell years ago after Edward took off. I've seen you do this before, go back and forth. You are no longer a child or a teen. You're an adult and these kinds of choices have real and significant consequences. You can't run with someone's feelings like that! It's reckless and dangerous!"

"I'm not!" I cried, taking hold of his hands and seeing him still there in shock, as I wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace. "I love Jacob, dad. He has my heart and I know there's so much I have to fix and I would be lying if I said that I wasn't scared, but I can't do this anymore. Live as something I'm not. Be with someone who doesn't have my heart. I don't belong with Edward. I don't think I ever have."

"Jacob has your heart." Charlie sighed, his arms tightening around me when he heard my tears.

"He always has. So, please don't be angry with me. I need your support to get through this."

He pulled back and placed his hands on my shoulders, his anger fading now.

"You know I'm always here for you and I do support you. I just don't want you or Jacob getting hurt in all this and I don't want Edward seeking out some kind of-..."

He paused then as the doorbell rang, the sound piercing through us both as we stared wide eyed at each other. Charlie soon peered out the kitchen window, his head hanging down when he glanced back at me.

"Dad?"

"We have company."

I hurriedly went to him, my gaze following his and my breath hitching when I caught sight of the yellow Porsche now parked directly behind his police cruiser.

Charlie huffed and took another long haul off his opened beer, his eyes narrowing into slits as he looked toward the front door.

"Come on, kiddo. Let see what we're in for here-"

"We? Dad you don't have to-" I began in protest, reaching out a hand to stop him from answering the door as the bell continued to ring.

"Yeah, that's where you're wrong. I do and we are going to face this together. Anything he has to say to you, he can do it in front of me. It's my job to be right here for you and that's what I'm gonna do."

I watched him confidently stride for the door, his hand reaching back for mine when he turned the knob and opened it. My face paled as I took in the sight of the golden gaze that locked on my own. The honey amber gaze now sweeping over me as I stood there next to Charlie, unable to move or blink.

Ready or not. Here we go.

**A/N: You are all so fantastic! I love hearing all your thoughts from each of you! Thank you for taking the time to review on the last chapter! There will be another update posted tomorrow afternoon. Be sure to check back for it then and feel free to drop me a review for this new chapter! HAPPY READING! :-) P.s... Song inspiration for this chapter - The Civil Wars: "The One That Got Away"... Give it a listen!**


	27. Chapter 27

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN**

**(BPOV)**

Edward stood just outside the doorway, his disheveled bronzed hair in even more of a disarray than normal as he peered between Charlie and I. He didn't move an inch when he first greeted the two of us, his eyes holding my own and causing an uncomfortable chill to ghost down my spine. I took note of how his lips were set in a firm line, and how his hand drew up to pinch the bridge of his nose like it always did when he was beyond frustrated with something.

He felt out of control right now and it was plain to see he loathed that unfamiliar feeling.

"Good morning, Charlie." Alice chimed first, as she casually pulled her thick framed sunglasses down and looked us over. "How are you today?"

Charlie crossed his arms over his chest defiantly and leaned against the door, his disgruntled tone not lost on anyone when he replied to her.

"Well, I'd say I'm doing just fine now that my daughter is back home with me. Sure is nice of you both to drop in for a visit like this. We've been expecting you. Haven't we, Bella?"

I couldn't move or offer any reply as Edward continued to stare at me, his look picking me apart like he could read my mind, even though I knew damn well that was impossible for him to do. Charlie gently nudged me in the ribs and I forced my words out then.

"Yes, we've been waiting for you to show up. Glad you made it."

"Our travel was longer than originally expected." Alice replied, stepping over the threshold when Charlie begrudgingly gestured for them to come in.

I moved myself away from the door when Edward stopped in front of me, his icy hands reaching out for mine and though I tried not to, I found myself purposefully avoiding his embrace. He didn't speak but the betrayal in his gaze told me he could smell Jacobs scent on my clothes and he knew far more already than he was letting on.

"Care for some java?" Charlie offered, clueless to the fact that neither Edward or Alice had enjoyed a cup of coffee since the dawn of the last century.

"No, that's alright, Charlie. Thank you for the kind offer though." Alice politely replied, her questioning gaze going between Edward and myself several times before she sat down at the kitchen table and neatly folded her petite hands in her lap. She was donning designer clothes. A figure hugging pair of dark wash denim jeans and a silk black blouse that dipped low in the front, paired with shiny black coach boots. Nothing shy of red carpet worthy for her style as usual. Edward on the other hand, appeared as if he hadn't even changed his clothes more than once in days. His white button down dress shirt all wrinkled and his jeans not pressed, nor his black shoes shined.

I gathered myself, taking a steady breath and looking to Charlie who was eyeing Edward in the same perplexed manor that I was.

"Rough night?" Charlie finally asked him, forcing him to advert his attention from me and address my father.

"...you could say that." Edward coyly replied.

"Don't think I've ever seen you not dressed in your Sunday Best."

"There were far more pressing matters for me to be concerned with than my dress attire this past weekend. Matters I'm sure you are equally aware of by now, Chief Swan."

Charlie huffed and reached for another beer, his eyes not leaving Edward when he yanked a fresh one from the cold fridge and slammed the door shut.

"It's just Charlie to you."

"Understood." Edward countered, his cool arm snaking around my back and making me shudder in response. I reeled from his touch, my head filling with Jacob the moment his arm drew me in close to his side.

Charlie's gaze was heated when it fell on us, and I knew he could see my discomfort when I shrugged out of Edwards hold and joined him across the kitchen.

"We should talk, love. There are things we need to discuss alone."

I stood up straight and squared my shoulders, my skin feeling like ice as he took a step toward me and reached out a hand, willing me to join him.

Jacobs words came back to me as I looked down at his offered hand._ "It's the kind of bullshit he pulls with you, Bella."_

"We can stay right here and talk, Edward. I know there are things that need to be explained and questions you have-"..."

"Many." Edward declared, his gaze growing dark as the amber hue in his eyes rapidly vanished before me.

"Have a seat, Edward. You're more than welcome to talk to Bella in my house." Charlie added.

Alice rose to her feet and reached for Edwards arm as he began to reply. His temper flaring upon hearing this from Charlie.

"I think we should take his offer, Edward."

"I think my wife and I should speak alone on the many matters at hand. We need our privacy." Edward replied, his tone nearly coming out as a hiss now.

"That's Bella's choice." Charlie quickly clarified, his expression becoming more stern when I struggled to add my own two cents.

"What are you comfortable with, Bella?" Alice hedged, her eyes meeting mine as my head whirled and my stomach flipped. He was having an affect on me the closer we got and I shook my head, my apprehensive gaze leaving hers as he took hold of my hand and tugged me forward to him.

It happened so fast that I didn't even have time to react. Before I knew it and before I could protest, he had me in his arms, his hands on either side of my face, stealing my devout attention, as his lips inched closer and closer to my own.

"Love, there are things we need to get out in the open. We need to do that alone and without interference. Wouldn't you agree?"

His cool breath ghosted over my face and I found it impossible to refuse him anything when his fingertips trailed down my cheek and neck. The gesture loving and making me forget the words I had nearly said to him just moments before.

What the hell was happening to me?

I nodded to him then, hearing Charlie speak to me, but his words sounded far off now. Like he were outside instead of standing in the same room with me.

"Bella, you can stay in here. The two of you can discuss whatever you need to in the kitchen."

I tried to look away from Edwards penetrative stare but I couldn't break it. My mind racing over every memory I'd ever shared with him and bringing me back to our wedding day. The promise I had made to him. The vows I'd given. The life we shared together in Georgia.

"Come with me, my love. Let's take some time together and talk through all this. It can all be explained. I promise you. It's not your fault. You're just confused right now and that's okay. We can work everything out. I've planned a surprise trip to Spain for us when we return back home. All of our things are already packed. I think some alone time in a new place is just what we need."

My head spun again and my limbs felt heavy as I tried to speak my response. His words captivating and his very smell making my steady resolve fade more with every word he said. All of them dripping with charismatic charm and promise now.

"Bella." Alice sighed from beside me. "Maybe the two of you need a getaway like this. Spain is simply magnificent this time of year. I took the liberty of packing all your essentials and some extra things for you, too."

"I know things have been harder for us than we thought, but trust me love, this trip is just what we really need."

His cool fingers wove themselves into my hair and I felt like I wasn't even in my own body anymore when he pressed a kiss to my cheek. The feel of his lips against my skin jolting me out of whatever haze I was in, as vivid visions of Jacob holding his arms out for me to run to in my wedding dress, filled my head. I gasped as the memories of our weekend together ran rampant then. Taking off like a wildfire.

_The look on his face when he first saw me in Billy's kitchen._

_The way he caught me in his arms when I nearly tripped over myself trying to get to him._

_How his dark eyes filled with tears when I told him I was real. That I wasn't a damn illusion in his head._

_How it felt to hold him to me after all this time without him._

_The way the very sound of his husky voice filled every part of me without him even needing to touch me._

_How he respected me enough not to push things the first night I'd stayed with him._

_The infectious smile that touched his lips when he'd cooked that meal for us._

_The feel of his warm russet skin on mine when he laid my body beneath his and secured me to him in every tangible way he could. His body fitting with my own in such a way that it left me believing we'd been made for each other. That all this time, he'd been the missing piece of me. He knew me so completely. Knew the way I ached to be touched without me ever voicing it to him._

I'd never felt that whole or utterly complete with Edward like that, and as he stared back at me, anxiously awaiting my answer, I heard that still small voice inside me ring clear.

_He's baiting you. He already knows you love Jacob. He's trying to turn the tables so he has control again. You can't give him that. Stay strong and speak up for yourself this time._

I abruptly pushed away from him, his arms trying to stop me but soon thinking better of it when Charlie moved forward and took hold of me by the arm. His warning glare to Edward easy to read. I found my voice and looked to him, pushing past the fear and telling him the truth for the first time. My truth.

"I'm not leaving here with you, Edward. You're right, there are things that need to be said and I think I've finally found the courage to tell you the truth."

"Bella, you're simply not thinking clearly right now. Jacob has gotten into your head, my love. He's twisted things all around for you and your acting out on that diluted impulsivity. Trust me, once you are thinking more clearly and you've had some time with me, you'll see -..."

"Stop it!" I half yelled, sharply turning my head toward him and Alice and seeing their confused gazes grow wide in alarm.

"Love..."

"I said enough, Edward! Please stop! I'm not confused about anything. You're the one who seems to be confused and I will take the ownership for some of that confusion, but not all of it. You're trying to mix my words and blur my intentions here with your promises of elaborate trips and it's not going to happen. I feel horrible for the way I've handled some of this. I should have told you the truth before I left Georgia, but that doesn't change the fact that I came here with a clear head. I knew exactly what I was doing when I called Billy four nights ago. I couldn't do it anymore! I couldn't pretend things were okay. It was tearing me apart. Every day feeling worse than the last. It's not fair to you or myself-..."

"...or Jacob, right!? He's been getting in your head! Look what he's done!" Edward angrily interrupted, his face feral now.

Alice tugged him back as he neared closer to Charlie and I with his accusation.

"No!" I yelled, stepping forward and meeting his angry glare with my own. "That's not true! I'm right here telling you the truth and you're not listening! Just like you never do! This has absolutely nothing to do with Jacob! He didn't even know I was coming here! I chose to make this trip! Me! No one coaxed me into it. You should know after being married to me for five years now that I don't do anything I don't want to. This was all my choosing because...-"

I paused then, my emotion welling up and near choking me as I struggled to continue. Charlie wrapped a protective arm around me then and met my gaze, as I looked up to see his nod of assurance, and it was enough to give me the courage to spill everything to him.

"...-because I made a mistake, Edward."

"I know you did, but I love you enough to forgive you. It's alright."

"Oh for shit's sake, son. Would you stop interrupting and actually listen to her. That's not what she's saying!" Charlie fumed, his patience growing thin with Edwards ridiculous games.

"Getting married to you was my mistake. I- I did it for all the wrong reasons and I'm so sorry."

"What are you saying!?" Edward breathed, his face falling as he reached out for me.

"I'm saying I haven't been truthful with you or Jacob. I walked down the aisle to you because of the deal I made with the Volturi in Italy when I went there to save you. I was wrong. Every part of the past five years has been wrong. I know you feel it, too. That you sense the difference in us. You have to."

Edward went mute then, his eyes searching my face as he slowly dropped his hand and took a step back.

"I didn't mean for it to be this way. I'm sorry I-"

"This is his doing! I knew he'd-..."

"Edward!" Alice interjected, her steely gaze full of a silent warning that made my insides go cold.

"You knew he'd what?" I hedged, moving away from Charlie and taking hold of Alice's arm. "Tell me the truth."

Edward didn't budge as he glared at me, his expression as cold and detached as I'd ever seen it.

"You're making a mistake, Bella. I wish you could see that but he's stolen away your ability for good judgement and it's clear I can't get it back. He stepped in where he shouldn't have."

"You're wrong!" I yelled, placing myself in front of him and pressing my back to Alice. "I've been keeping tabs on him for years now. Alice has been watching him because I asked her to."

"Why would you-"

"...because I couldn't stop thinking of him or missing him. All the times I woke up from a nightmare and wouldn't tell you what they were about, it's because they were all about Jacob. I am done lying and I'm done pretending! I'm sorry it took me five years to tell you this but I'm being honest now."

"...and what exactly is that truth?" Edward asked, his tone lethal and making me step back from him out of caution.

"I love Jacob. I always have. I chose him all those years ago. He was my choice. Just like coming back here now was my choice. Whether you want to hear it or not. This is my truth, Edward. I'm truly sorry for any pain that I've caused. I know me leaving like that was unfair and hurtful to you, but I did it because I couldn't ignore what my heart wanted any longer."

Edward looked as if he had turned into a burning man. Like he was being burned alive from the inside out and unable to move or speak as the hungry flames claimed him and left only ash to remain. I held his tortured gaze until he turned and yanked open the front door, darting outside so fast it made my head spin, his parting words making me go after him.

"His meddling will come with a severe consequence."

Alice reached him first, halting his steps and holding him in place, his face contorted in menacing anger as he warned her to let go of him.

"You know what will happen if you cross into La'Push lands! Think of the treaty set in place! Carlisle would be furious!" She snapped, throwing a worried glance to Charlie and I as we stood idly in the open doorway.

"What the hell is she talking about?" Charlie asked, glancing down at me in confusion.

"He should know better than to think I'd keep honoring that after what he's done." Edward fiercely replied.

"He didn't do anything! You're looking for someone to blame! You knew this would happen. You knew she was unhappy. You've sensed it in her for months now. Stop acting like Jacob was the one who started this. You heard her! You heard what she said and you know it's the truth. She loves him, Edward. She belongs with him. You've known it from the start and you hid it."

I stared at him in utter disbelief, my face flushing red as Alice's words sunk in to every part of me. My eyes stung with angry tears as I looked between the two of them. He'd known where my heart was all along and yet he still tried to convince me to change? To become like him?

"What is she saying?" I whispered, running out after him into the damp air, my whole body going numb when Edward sharply turned his head my way with his icy response.

"You're so willing and eager to share your truth!? Right?! Well, here's some more truth for you to swallow. Jacob imprinted on you in the meadow when Laurent tried to kill you and he kept it from you! He never told you his truth, did he?! He let you walk down the aisle to me and never said a word of it to you! If that isn't love, I don't know what is, Bella. You think he didn't have a thousand opportunities to be honest with you!? No, of course he did! Seems Jacob made a clear choice of his own and here you are ready to throw our whole life away for a man who has done nothing but deceive you!"

I stopped there in the wet grass, my mind filling with the memory of the first time I'd seen the pack. When I didn't know what Jacob was or that they even existed.

Oh god... could it be true? Was he messing with my emotions on purpose?

"You kept that from me? You knew all this time and you said nothing!" I yelled. "How could you not tell me that! How could you let me get married to you and say nothing!? Even after all these years!?"

My angry tears returned with a vengeance then, as the reality of his words made my head pound and my stomach churn violently. I stumbled back, my shaking hands running through my tangled and wet hair as I tried to regain my composure.

All this time he'd been here without me. All the time we had wasted. I could never get it back with him.

"What do you think now? Still think he's worth tossing us aside for? He lied to you, Bella. For years. He could have told you the truth."

I couldn't catch my breath, my vision going hazy and the ground beneath me spinning as my legs nearly gave out.

This was too much. All of it.

I heard Charlie call to me, his voice getting closer as I turned to see him running down over the steps. Everything felt in slow motion then, like I was watching all this unfold in front of me, but I wasn't really here.

I let out a sob and shook my head, refusing to believe that what he said was true. The color drained from my face as I swayed on my feet and focused on the madness unfolding around me.

Edward and Alice were locked in a shouting match, their words all blurring together as my legs gave out there in the back yard. I was suffocating in this.

I heard a loud roar echo out over the trees then and before I could hit the ground, a pair of warm arms took hold of me. The warmth enveloping me and warding off the cold breeze as it blew furiously around us. My world went black then. The last words I heard spoken in a husky breath at my ear.

"I've got you, honey. It's okay. I'm right here."

**A/N: Ahh! okay this chapter was hard for me to write! I hope you all enjoyed how Bella stood her ground! Please review and let me know all your thoughts and a HUGE thank you to everyone who has taken the time to leave their reviews already! I am so flattered and truly honored by what you've said! Look for another update tomorrow evening! Till Next Time..**


	28. Chapter 28

**CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT**

**(BPOV)**

I could hear angry words being exchanged as I struggled to open my eyes, the pounding in my head and the thick haze behind my lids, making it hard for me to concentrate on anything. I was laying on something soft and tried to gain my bearings while the madeness around me continued.

"Who the hell do you think you are! Look what you did! Saying all that to her! She's overwhelmed! All you do is cause trouble you know that?!" Charlie shouted, his tone irate and bordering hostile. "I should shoot you for this!"

"I'd like to see you try!" Edward sarcastically replied.

"Oh really! You think I'd miss!?"

"Chief just calm down."

That was Billy's baritone. How was he here? Why was he here? Where was I?

"Don't tell me to calm down! I have no idea what's going on! All this talk of not being able to cross over into La'Push lands? Just what the hell was all that about?"

I desperately tried to move, my vision still blurry and unfocused as the shouting continued.

"We can talk about this and sort it all out later. Once we know Bella is alright."

Sue? That sounded like her steady voice. She was here, too.

"No, I want to know right now!" Charlie demanded. "No more being kept in the dark. You better start talking, Billy."

"Chief, there are things I can't explain-"

"Can't or wont? I just watched your son come sprinting from the woods in nothing but tattered shorts! He caught Bella right before she hit the ground. I've never seen reflexes like that! I've never seen him run that fast! I saw something there at the tree line and I heard that roar, too! Is that what you can't explain!?"

Charlie sounded beside himself, his words all running together in his desperate hurry to get some answers now. We'd said too much in front of him and there was no way to back peddle from it at this point. He had to know the truth and I wanted to be the one to tell him. This wasn't how I wanted it all to happen.

"I should haul your ass into the station!"

"I haven't committed any crime, Charlie." Edward defended, his cool tone grating on my nerves right now like sharp nails gliding down a chalk bored.

"Oh, I'm sure you have! I'm sure whatever shit you're keeping from me and have involved Bella in is somehow illegal."

"The law can't touch him, Charlie. It's how their kind works."

That voice. I knew_ that voice_. The husky and angered sound of it settling over my frantic mind like an antidote the moment I heard it.

"Our kind!? What about your own?! Care to spill that info to the chief here, Jacob?" Edward hissed back to him in arrogant reply. I cringed, trying to force myself upright and gain my footing.

"At least I'm not a blood thirsty demon." Jacob coldly spat back.

"No, you're just a homewrecker. I suppose that title is better? Why couldn't you stop being selfish and leave us alone? Let her be happy with me!"

"She isn't happy with you and you damn well know it. She wouldn't have come back here if-"

"You meddled where you shouldn't have!"

"... and you lied to her for years." Jacob angrily retorted. "Who the fuck does something like that?!"

I could tell by the sound of his tone that he was barely hanging on to his cool right now.

"You didn't admit the truth to her either! You imprinted on her before I went to Italy. You could've told her. You chose not to. Cause you were too afraid that if you did she would've chosen you on guilt alone. Out of pure obligation because you know that she wouldn't leave you here like that. To suffer the way you did. Had she known about the imprint, she would have stayed here for those reasons, not out of love. Just like she's doing right now. You think she loves you? That she rushed back here all of a sudden because she had a change of heart? No, I don't buy it! She did it out of remorse and guilt."

"That's none of your damn business and stay the hell out of my head!" Jacob demanded in a shout.

"Why? Revealing too much for you?" Edward taunted.

"I swear that if someone doesn't start explaining all this right now, I'm gonna take you all in for questioning! I mean it! Start talking!" Charlie loudly stated to them then.

The room went silent for a moment as I placed my feet on the floor and looked around, my eyes taking in the room. I was in my old bedroom at Charlie's, with an I.V. in my left arm. I glanced up to see the clear solution in the bag above me and hastily ripped it out. The blood dripping down my arm when I held the sleeve of my shirt over it.

Sue had come here to help me. Jacob must have called her.

I swayed unsteadily, as I stood and listened to the chaos still unfolding just downstairs. This was madness.

"Chief, I know things are confusing, but please remember that we're still your family and we love you. No matter what." Billy meekly offered up.

"I really don't like the sounds of that-" Charlie balked, his solid footsteps heavy on the kitchen floor while Billy continued.

"I'll try to explain everything the best I can-"

"...or I can simply show him." Jacob suddenly offered and I felt my skin go cold at the very idea of him phasing in front of my already confused father. I rushed forward and nearly fell, my hands gripping the door as I peered out into the hall and down the long stairway. I'd be lucky if I didn't fall down them head first as dizzy as I was.

"Show me?" Charlie hedged.

"No, Jake I don't think that would be the best way to-"

"... just trying to help."

"I think you've helped enough this weekend, don't you?" Edward sneered.

"You know what Eddie? How about you do us all a favor and keep your off handed know it all comments to yourself?"

"Charlie, we didn't mean to cause-" Alice tried to explain, but Charlie didn't give her the chance to finish her statement.

"-well you did."

"Why are you still even here?" Jacob snapped back.

"My wife is upstairs."

Jacob scoffed at this and I took a few more steps toward the edge of the stairs, my skin breaking out into a sweat while I debated on whether I could make it down them in one piece or not. As it turned out, my choice was soon made for me. My foot had barely reached the first step, and my hand gripped the side railing tightly when I heard the rushing footsteps headed my way. My eyes meeting Jacobs when he took the stairs two at a time and took hold of me.

"Honey, what are you-"

"Is it true? Please tell me, Jacob." I breathed to him, seeing his gaze hold mine as he steadied me on my feet. "Did you-"

"Yes, honey. It's true." He admitted, his face then falling like he were ashamed of himself for not telling me sooner.

"I know why you didn't tell me before. I'm not angry with you." I assured him, reaching my hand up and pressing it over his heart.

He hesitantly met my stare, his eyes glossy when I leaned in closer to him.

"I was wrong not to tell you, Bells. I'm sorry."

"You didn't want my choice to be based on the imprint, but it never would have been. I would've chosen you regardless of it, Jacob. I have to explain everything to Edward and Charlie-." I began, my head resting on his chest as my balance continued to fail me.

"Bells, honey? Sue! She's burning up." He called out, his hands touching my cheeks and forehead before he pulled me close.

"I'm sorry, Jacob." I whispered into his bare chest, my voice barely audible now. "I'm so sorry for all the pain I caused you."

Sue was there suddenly, her cool fingertips touching my clammy forehead as she tried to look me over.

"She's warm. Very warm. She's got a fever, Jacob. She shouldn't even be out of bed. I thought she was overwhelmed before. That she fainted from the shock of everything, but now I think it was a combination of things. She's definitely coming down with something."

"No, I'm okay-" I tried to protest, but stopped when Edward came into view. His golden gaze still haunted when he moved himself closer and reached out for me then.

"Come with me, love. Carlisle can look at you once we get back to Georgia."

I heard the rumble erupt from Jacobs chest as he glared at Edward now beside him. The closeness alone enough to set off a round of tremors for him that made him release me. I reeled from the loss of contact with him then, using every bit of remaining strength I had to shove Edwards solid frame away from me, or at least try to anyway.

"Don't do that!" I snapped. The motion causing my head to whirl all the more as I reached out for Jacob. "You're trying to control me again! Stop! I know I owe you an explanation and you'll get one, but I don't want you here right now. Either you or Alice. So please leave."

Edwards eyes narrowed into tiny slits then as he dropped his hand and stayed put, refusing to listen to me.

"You're not thinking clearly."

Jacobs eyes met mine and he took the hand I'd reached out for him with, pulling me into his arms and not even looking to Edward as Sue demanded they leave.

"She is sick! This is the last thing she needs. When she is better, I'm sure she'll call you, but right now, I am telling you to get out!"

"...but Jacob can stay. This is insane. She is MY WIFE!" Edward argued, his tone lethal with her. "You can't keep her from me!"

"She is asking you both to leave! Honor her wishes!"

Their voices faded then as I leaned against Jacob, my body feeling drained as he looked down into my face. I stilled as the backs of his warm fingertips ran down my cheek and chin, his eyes full of tangible worry as I felt myself sway on my feet again. He scooped me up, pressing his cheek against mine as he stormed past Edward and Sue still arguing just ahead of us.

"I'm sorry, honey." He whispered, his foot pushing open my bedroom door and swiftly closing it behind him.

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I should have told you-"

"You had good reason not to."

"... but look at the mess-"

"I'm the one responsible for this mess. Not you." I replied, curling into the comforters on the bed when he laid me there and tucked me in.

"What do you need, honey?"

"You." I truthfully replied, holding tightly to his hand as he leaned over me.

Jacob nodded, shooting an angry glare toward the door as Edwards voice echoed out loudly around the upstairs. He got to his feet and headed back out into the hall. His words laced with an authority I'd never heard come from him before.

"She's asked you to leave. Get the hell out or I'll call the pack and they'll run your asses out of Washington. It's your choice, but choose fast cause my patience with you is fucking spent. For once, do what she's asked you to. At least have enough decency for that!"

He didn't budge from the doorway and I listened as the voices soon retreated and then left the house altogether. My eyes were wide when he came back to the bed, his body still full of tension as he fought off the last few tremors. I took hold of his arm and saw the trembling in him cease as he looked my way.

"Is it painful for you to fight them off?" I softly asked. "If you need to go I-..."

"No, I'll be right here with you. Sometimes it's hard, but never when you're close to me, honey. Hurts like hell when you're gone." He admitted.

"You caught me before I touched the ground." I whispered, closing my eyes and feeling him caress my cheek.

"I'll always try to catch you before you fall."

"You already have. So many times."

He sat down on the edge of the bed and I placed my head in his lap as he ran his hand through my hair.

"You've saved me more."

"Not possible." I countered.

"It's true."

I forced my eyes open and caught the love in his dark gaze as he stared down at me.

"Things may be a real mess right now, but what a beautiful mess we are."

"Agreed, honey. Agreed."

"This is the worst time for me to be sick. Will the pack be upset? You have to leave at some point, right?"

"Not till you're better, honey." He sighed, moving onto the bed and taking me with him.

"Thank you."

I heard his final words before my fatigue won out and I fell into a heavy sleep.

"I love you, sweetheart. More than you could ever know."

**A/N: Hey everyone! I hope you had a wonderful weekend and that you enjoy this Monday update! Please leave me a review and tell me your thoughts! xoxo! Thanks for all your wonderful support! :-)**


	29. Chapter 29

**CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE**

**(BPOV)**

I had never felt as truly miserable as I did right now. My head throbbed and my stomach churned. My every muscle ached and my joints felt stiff, even my skin hurt to the touch, which made getting any kind of rest damn near impossible for me. I couldn't recall a time when I'd ever been this sick. Sue had been nice enough to stay here with Charlie and check me over a few more times, her final diagnosis of the common flu and cold making me sigh heavily as I pondered just how much I still needed to do.

Charlie had heard far too much and seen even more. That fact alone worried me more than I could say. On top of that, Edward and Alice were still in Washington and land only knows what they were plotting to get me to go back with them to Georgia. They had probably already called Carlisle and Esme by now, but it didn't matter. I wasn't leaving. No matter what stunt they tried to pull. Nothing would make me leave Jacob behind this time.

I'd stubbornly tried to push past my symptoms and get to my feet when the evening crept in, but when I could barely find the strength to step out of the shower, I knew the odds were definitely stacked against me. I could hear Charlie downstairs, his voice carrying easily through the house as I listened to his words to Sue.

"You need to explain this all better. None of this shit is even making sense to me! What the hell do you mean Jacob is a wolf! I watched that kid grow up for shits sake?! Are you all trying to pull some kind of early Halloween trick on me or something?! You know, I may be old but I'm not dumb and I really don't appreciate being made out to look like some damn fool here!"

"Charlie, no one in this house is trying to pull any kind of ridiculous joke on you. That would be just plain cruel! No, this is not a Halloween trick of some kind. Listen to me. We've been close for years. Do you truly believe that I would put you through all this just for a good laugh?"

"No, I know you wouldn't, Sue. I guess I'm just trying to get this straight!"

"It's hard to grasp. Believe me, I get it. When Seth and Leah first phased-"

"Leah and Seth!? Wh-what! Are you trying to tell me that Jake and Sam Uley aren't the only ones in this so called tribe?!"

"It's not a tribe, Charlie. It's a pack. A loyalty. They are all like family really." Sue corrected.

I felt all the color drain rapidly from my face as she continued trying to explain everything to him.

"Family!? This is too damn much! I need to sit down." Charlie half shouted, his tone desperate and bordering on fearful now.

My heart clenched and the room whirled, my stomach soon following suit, as Jacobs voice called out to me from the other side of the bathroom door. His voice was full of concern and I couldn't bring myself to ignore him.

"You're going to get worse if you keep this up."

"I'm fine-..." I adamantly replied, pressing my head against the wall as my hair dripped down my bare back. My fever brought on the chills and I shook from head to toe, as I grabbed the white towel on the side of the sink and hastily hitched it under my arms.

"You're not fine." He argued.

"I can get dressed and we can go find them. I'll be okay."

I couldn't tell who the hell I was trying to convince more at this point, Jacob or myself, but it was clear I wasn't winning him over.

"You could catch a worse version of this by not getting the rest you need."

I clutched the edge of the sink and tried to step into a clean pair of jeans but this simple task was proving to be far more difficult than I first thought it would. It took me three more tries to pull them all the way up, my body struggling against me with every subtle move, as I shrugged into the grey sweater I'd hurriedly snatched from my closet when Jacob had gone down stairs to get me some orange juice. I knew he would try to stop me from getting out of bed so I had taken that fleeting window of opportunity and run with it.

"Stop worrying." I insisted.

"Never." He sighed, his tone making me still there when I recognized the earnest conviction behind it.

"I'm alright, Jacob." I tried to assure him, shakily standing and raking a brush through my mess of hair. I winced as it tugged on the roots, my scalp feeling sensitive even to the touch. I soon tossed the brush into the sink out of frustration when the effort to get through the many tangles made me give up the fight altogether.

"Forget it." I whispered to myself, reaching for a hair tie and gathering my thick locks as a soft knock came to the door. I hesitantly shuffled forward and unlocked it, my face falling as I shrugged to him, gesturing to the mess now piled high on the top of my head.

Jacob chuckled and shook his head in return, his hand reaching out for the brush I'd left in the sink. "Let me see."

"What?" I countered, the confusion clear in my tone when I looked toward the abandoned brush and then back his way.

He gave me a knowing smirk when I retook the wooden handle firmly in my hand and held it out to him.

"Turn around." He thoughtfully requested, his fingers gently untwisting the messy bun and letting my hair fall down around my shoulders as another chill ran through me. His touch was as delicate as I'd ever known it to be when he untangled the many knots, and slowly worked the brush through my hair. I went silent at the feel of his fingertips running through my wet hair, the pounding in my head temporarily subsiding now.

"You don't have to do that but thank you." I whispered.

"I hate seeing you sick. It's on my top ten list of things I can't stand because I can't fix it. So doing anything to make you feel better sure in hell beats doing nothing."

I smiled and turned to see his gaze sweep over my face with a faint returning smile of his own.

"You can't fix everything you know? It's not possible, Jacob."

"I can still try." He replied, his determined tone only making me chuckle in response.

"Come on, we have to get going."

Jacob wrapped an arm around my waist when I tried to bypass him then, his gaze holding my own when I halted there in the hall.

"That can wait, Bells."

"No, it really can't. You know him. You know how his mind works. The sooner I tell him I want a divorce, the better off everyone will be. I'm not waiting. I've wasted enough time already! We've lost enough time. We can never get those five years back, Jacob."

I saw his nod of understanding when he reluctantly let go of me then. The floor seemed to move as I swayed back and forth while heading toward my room again.

"You're being too stubborn." He huffed, securing an arm around me so I didn't face plant before I made it.

"You know me best."

"... and I know you'll end up getting worse by pushing yourself like this."

"Jacob, I don't want to give him anymore momentum here. I don't know what kind of scheme he could be plotting right now while we're idly waiting."

"You need to rest, honey." He countered, his persistence strong when he placed himself in front of me and drew me into his arms.

I basked in the comfort of his warm embrace, the fight in me dying out all the more when his soft lips brushed against my ear, his words making me rethink my decision.

"Please go back to bed so I can hold you until you're better? You know I'm not going anywhere and you can't deal with all this when you're sick. Let me take care of you, honey. I promise we'll face it together once you can stand on your own two feet again."

His strong hands roamed up my back and I nearly swooned when he placed a kiss to my temple and tightened his grip on me.

"You don't fight fair."

"Guilty." He half laughed, the sound of it filling me with a warmth that I didn't want to leave.

"Okay, you win. I'll stay here and rest for the night but in the morning, we leave early together to find them and settle all this. Besides, Charlie is bound to have a million questions still, and from the sounds, poor Sue could use all the help she could get with explaining it all to him. That should be my job."

"Billy's talking to him now, honey. They've been going over everything and he's been answering his questions. I think my dad was just afraid to speak out and lose your fathers trust or friendship." He admitted, his cheek gently pressing to mine when he dipped his head and pulled me into my room.

"He must be freaking out. That's not fair to poor, Billy. I have to talk to him."

"... and you will, once you're feeling better. Sue's still here and she's making you some home made chicken noodle soup. She thinks it will calm your stomach if you give it a try."

I pulled back and made a face at the mere thought of putting anything in my mouth. "I don't think I can even stomach it."

"Will you at least try? For me?"

I looked up into his handsome face and nodded, my breath hitching at the sight of his heart stopping smile when I agreed to this.

"You really know how to turn on the charm to get your way." I stated, sitting down on the edge of the bed and watching him peer out the window, his eyes focused and his stance rigid now.

"Only for you, honey."

"Is Sam covering for you?"

"Yeah, till tomorrow night."

"Please tell him thank you for me? That was nice of him." I replied, wrapping the comforter around my shoulders and trying to get warm.

"I'll tell him, honey. He understands. He would do the same for Emily."

I nodded and glanced up, his dark gaze leaving the window to catch my own. I had so many questions I wanted to ask him about the imprint but this flu was taking a real toll on me.

I nervously fiddled with the comforter in my hands as the room grew darker from the late hour approaching.

Jacob moved himself away from the wall and reached a hand down to caress my warm cheek, his expression filling with concern when he noticed how warm I still was.

"You've had two doses of Tylenol. Fever should be coming down faster than that."

I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes as he sat down next to me, his arms quickly gathering me to him.

"I don't think I've ever felt this awful."

"I'm so sorry, honey. Wish there was more I could do."

"You're here. That's everything."

I tucked my head under his chin, my hand resting on his chest and my lips a mere breath away from his neck. I marveled at the way his body gave off such heat, the warmth of his hold so inviting that I found it hard to not go back to sleep, even though I'd slept most of the day away already.

"I'll always be here."

My eyes stung with tears when he said this, my thoughts going back to the night I'd left him behind. How I'd hurt him in ways I couldn't even fathom and from an imprint I didn't even know existed at the time.

"I don't deserve you."

He stilled under me then, looking down when I lifted my head and peered into the most captivating eyes I'd ever seen. His whispered words sincere in the dark now.

"That's not true-"

"Yes it is. You could've been selfish and told me about the imprint before I married him, but you chose not to."

Jacobs thumb slowly ran across my bottom lip as he replied, his face inching closer to mine with every word he spoke.

"Real love isn't selfish like that, honey. I've loved you since we were kids and I wanted you to be happy. Even if that choice wasn't me. I wanted what we had to be based on just us and not predicted by the imprint alone."

"What Edward said isn't true, you know? He's just trying to make you question things."

"I know how he works."

"I hate that I hurt you like that."

"You couldn't change what you didn't know." He sighed. "That was my choosing, honey. I went back and forth so many times."

"Do you regret not telling me?"

"All the time."

I moved myself in closer to him, placing a kiss on his cheek and stilling there when his lips grazed mine.

"I'm sick and you'll catch it."

"I don't care, honey." He admitted. "Your kiss is so worth it to me. I'll take whatever comes."

"Will you tell me something?" I hesitantly asked.

"Anything." He replied and softly kissed me, his tenderness not lost on me as his hand reached for mine, our fingers lacing together when he slowly pulled back.

"What happened when I left?"

His body tensed then from just the question and I felt my own skin begin to crawl with anxiety from his reaction.

"A lot happened, honey."

"I have a million questions."

"I know you do and I'd be lying if I said that I can promise to have all the answers, but I can promise you that I'll tell you everything I can."

"I want us to have a fresh start, Jacob."

"I want that, too. You're absolutely everything to me. Imprint or no imprint."

I couldn't take my eyes from his when he said this, his every word laced with a devotion that touched my very soul. Despite how sick I was and how miserable I still felt, there was no other placed I'd rather be than right here in his arms tonight.

**A/N: Hello to all my awesome readers! You guys make me smile with every review! Thank you! I hope you enjoy this newest update and please tell me your thoughts! :-)**


	30. Chapter 30

**CHAPTER THIRTY**

**(JPOV)**

Bella stayed asleep through the rest of the night and when the darkness gave way to the early morning light, I was worried to discover that her fever still remained. I felt her slowly stir in my arms, her moan of discomfort making me glance down as she curled herself further into my side. She was warm... too warm.

"Bells-..." I whispered, slowly sitting up and taking her with me, her eyes lazily opening to peer into my own.

"What time is it?"

"Close to dawn."

"My head is killing me." She breathed, her hands going to her temples in an attempt to alleviate the pounding ache between them.

Her face and chest were flushed, and her skin was covered in a fine sheen of sweat as she struggled to pull off her shirt.

"It's sweltering in here."

I ran the back of my hand across her damp forehead and tentatively down her cheek, the heat radiating from her bare skin making me pause and cradle her face in my hands.

"When was your last dose of Tylenol, sweetheart? Can you remember?"

"I can't exactly recall the hour? Maybe sometime late last night? Before I fell asleep?" She replied, her voice sounding weak and her eyes closing as she squinted away from the rays of light beginning to creep in through her window.

"I should've checked your fever last night. That was hours ago."

I headed for the bathroom, tearing open the medicine cabinet there and sorting through the many bottles of cold medicines, and old prescriptions of Charlie's that dropped into the sink below from my rush. I soon found the Tylenol and popped open the cap, pouring three of them into my hand and half jogging back to her room.

"Here, honey. Take these. I'll get you something to wash them down with."

She nodded and took the pills from me, her eyes closely watching me, as I tore off down over the stairs to fetch her a glass of water.

Sue met me there with a puzzled expression, her hands clutching a mug of coffee when she nodded toward the stairs.

"How is she? Did she sleep through the night?"

"Yeah, but she's still burning up, Sue. That fever isn't breaking like it should and I don't like how warm her skin feels to the touch. Has me worried."

Sue set her coffee down on the table, hurriedly pouring a glass of ice water and soaking a clean washcloth with the tap, before heading for Bella. The urgency in her movements only making me cringe when I followed her back upstairs.

"Bella, are you feeling any better?" She asked, sitting down next to her on the bed and placing the cool cloth on her forehead.

"No, I feel worse. I can't stay in these clothes." She replied, shakily standing and ripping off the jeans that she'd slept in. Her balance was no better and I reached out to steady her before she could topple over onto the floor. She let out a frustrated huff and ran her hands through her hair, her body only clothed in a matching lace bra and panty set now. Sue stared up at me as she reached out to move a stray lock of hair away from Bella's face, her expression filling with a concern that made my insides crawl with dread.

"I'm gonna get my medical bag downstairs. Maybe we're dealing with a new resistant strain of the flu here? Maybe even the beginning stages of pneumonia. I'll wake your father. He hasn't been asleep long, but he needs to know what's going on with you. We should take a trip in to the hospital."

"No, I don't want that. Please examine me here."

"I will, but if your fever doesn't come down soon, you'll have no choice but to be seen by a doctor."

Sue swiftly left the room then and I saw the tears form in Bella's eyes when she reached for me, her emotion causing her words to sound strangled when she spoke them.

"Something's wrong with me, Jacob."

I took hold of her, my hands roaming down her bare back and over her arms as she pleadingly peered up at me.

"Sue knows what she's doing. You're gonna be okay." I tried to assure her, but she shook her head to me in protest.

"No, I know there's something really wrong. I feel like I can't breathe. Like I'm suffocating from the inside out."

My eyes took in the sight of her then. How her chest was rapidly rising and falling with her every breath. How her heart beat was pounding faster than I'd ever heard it and how the sweat began to drip down her neck when she moved herself away from me. As if my closeness made her want to erupt like a raging furnace. I closed the small distance between us she'd created and touched her bare skin again, my palms skimming down over her hips and tiny waist as she stilled there before me.

"Sue!" I yelled, not taking my eyes from her face.

"What! What the hell is happening to me?" She frantically cried, her body trembling from the heated fever that rolled through her.

Sue came rushing back then, her medical bag half open as she searched for the thermometer and quickly turned it on, her gaze going wide when she ran it over Bella's forehead from temple to temple and gasped. I whipped my head toward her, seeing her mouth propped open as she shook her head in clear disbelief.

"Sue? What?" I fiercely hedged, my body tensing at just the sight of her reaction. Sue never looked surprised. She'd seen a hell of a lot.

"Th-that can't be right. This thing must be broken or the batteries must be-"

"What does it say!?" I countered to her, my hand still pressed against Bella's bare abdomen, the heat coming from her now causing her very skin to feel hot to me and _nothing_ felt hot to me. My patience was rapidly running out as I watched Sue shake the thermometer and try it again. Her reaction much the same as before when the reader beeped and she pulled it away to glance at it. Her whispered words left her in a fearful gasp then and I reached out, snatching the thermometer from her to see it for myself.

"One O' Six."

I shook my head and did a damn double take at the flimsy white object now flashing the plain reading in vivid red display back up at me.

One hundred and six degrees Fahrenheit...

No... That wasn't fucking possible.

"She can't be that warm. She could have a seizure from it, Jacob. It's dangerous."

Bella stared back at me in horror, her hands clutching my forearms as she half caved in on herself with a cry.

"What's wrong with me."

I dropped the thermometer and hauled her up in my arms, my fast steps down the hall waking Charlie as he swung open his door and met me there.

"What's going on?"

I didn't look at him or even pause as the adrenaline pumped through me. Every cry from Bella making my own chest physically ache. I pushed open the bathroom door and hurriedly turned on the shower, making sure the temperature was cool when I set her down. I kept a steady hand on her and shut the door behind us before I stripped the rest of her down naked, and put her in the cool waters flow.

"We have to get that fever down." Sue called from the hall. "Charlie is pulling the cruiser up close to the porch. Bring her out to us when her temperature has come down a few degrees. We'll take her to the hospital so she can be seen."

"Okay." I replied to her, seeing Bella desperately reach for me, her doe eyes full of a tangible fear that I recognized instantly when her gaze held mine. The cool water cascaded down her heated skin as I went to her, stepping into the shower with my cutoffs still on and taking her back in my arms as she continued to cry.

"It's okay, honey. I'm right here."

Her skin was still giving off the kind of heat that now rivaled my own and I silently kicked myself for holding onto her all night the way I had. My closeness could have caused her fever to spike like this and I never checked her after midnight. I'd foolishly fallen asleep with her.

"Every part of me hurts." She gasped.

I pulled back then, trying not to hold her too tightly but she wouldn't have it.

"I'm sorry, honey. I don't understand what the hell is going on. I should have given you more Tylenol hours ago."

I went mute then as she wrapped her arms around my bare torso, her words making me press her skin flush to mine.

"No, this isn't your fault. You didn't know. I'm just scared."

"I know, honey. It's gonna be alright. Take a few deep breaths for me. We'll get you to the hospital and figure this all out."

She did as I asked and I slowly turned the knob behind her, making the water run colder when I noticed that her skin almost felt warmer than my own.

Her fever wasn't going down, not even a little, despite the constant cold that was running down over her skin. If anything, she only felt warmer to me the longer I held her.

My closeness seemed to be making this worse for her. I reluctantly pulled back and saw the terror etched in her face when she let out another cry. "Where are you going?"

"I think me holding you is making it worse, honey. You're still so warm. We have to get you to the Emergency Room. This isn't working."

I got out and tried to help her dress so I could get her downstairs, but she struggled to even move and my worry for her only grew all the more when she sunk down in the hallway, her head falling into her hands with a helpless sob.

"I can't move anymore. Please don't make me. Jacob, I can't-"

"Tell me what hurts the most? Where do you hurt, honey?"

"Every part of me. I can't breathe! I can't move!"

"I'll carry you down to the cruiser. Wrap your arms around me." I replied, carefully lifting her from the floor.

She placed her head on my shoulder and I could no longer ignore the lump in my throat that brought stinging tears to my eyes when she whispered softly to me then.

"Am I dying? This feels like-..."

"No, honey. You're not dying. I promise that you'll be okay."

When I got her outside, Charlie and Sue were anxiously waiting for us, both of them looking like they were on the verge of tears themselves when they took in the sight of her. She was getting damn worse by the minute.

What the hell was this?

A severe and maybe even fatal case of the flu? Like Sue said before? A drug resistant strain? Possibly Meningitis?

My insides hurt for her, my own body reacting to her pain in a way that made my every muscle feel strained and my bones ache in the very same way they had when I'd first phased years ago. The familiar feel of it made me draw up short with her as Charlie opened the back door of the cruiser, his own eyes were full of alarm when I hesitated there.

"What are you doing?" He snapped. "We need to get her to the hospital."

I nodded, dismissing my prior thought as nothing more than my own delusional thinking, but when Sue's gaze met my own, I knew her thoughts were similar. She too was starting to wonder if Bella really had the flu at all or if this was something else. Something that made no fucking sense and something that caused me to physically wince at just the idea of her having to face.

This was insane and it couldn't be possible... could it?

**A/N: Hello all my wonderful and fantastic readers! I know! It's a real possible twist!? Please review and tell me your thoughts on this chapter! :-) Till Next Time!**


	31. Chapter 31

**CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE**

**(JPOV)**

Charlie was looking at me like I had lost my freaking mind, his face stern and his eyes wide while I continued to pause there by the cruiser, still unsure if taking her to the hospital in Forks was the right decision or not. It sure in hell didn't feel right and the longer I held her, the more I became convinced that the gut feeling I'd been having shouldn't be ignored or dismissed. Taking her there would be a mistake. I was sure of it.

I felt Bella press her face into the groove of my neck, her trembling getting worse and making it hard for me to keep a good hold on her.

"You don't think we should go, do you?" She soon breathed to me, making me still and lock eyes with Charlie, who was becoming angrier with me with every second that passed now.

"What the hell are you waiting for-" He agitatedly huffed, trying to tear her out of my arms. The low growl that left me wasn't intentional and I hauled her burning body in closer to mine. The death glare he shot me in return was hard to swallow.

If looks could kill, I'd surely be a dead man right about now.

Sue intervened then, sensing the growing tension in the air, as Charlie stood firm where he was and demanded me to hand his daughter over to him. "Give her to me. We are wasting precious time for shits sake. What is wrong with you!? Why are you just standing there with her?!"

"Charlie, calm down. Jacob would never do anything to bring harm to Bella. He senses something and we'd be wise to not ignore that intuition. Trust me, I know."

The two of them exchanged a loaded glance as my own tremors began then, making me cuss aloud when I desperately tried to fight them off.

"Damn it!"

I didn't have time for this shit right now and it didn't make any damn sense why they were rocking through me in the first place. Bella was as close to me as I could get her and her touch alone was normally enough to calm them from over taking me, but in this moment, it seemed to be having the complete opposite affect.

What the fuck was this?

My head suddenly filled with every moment I'd ever shared with her. From childhood till now and I struggled to even keep myself firmly planted on two legs, every tremor causing my body to fill with a pain I hadn't felt since I'd first phased years ago. I shook my head, trying to make sense of all this madness when Bella suddenly tried to scramble out of my arms. My hold on her was weakened already from the incessant tremors and I released her shaking body with a wince, seeing her frantically draw back from us.

She looked terrified as she stared back at me, her hands going into her hair and harshly tugging at the roots with a choked gasp. She pulled at the T-shirt I'd helped dress her in just minutes ago, like the very feel of it on her skin was now painful and unwanted. Sue attempted to approach her, the sound of Bella's pained scream filling the crisp morning air around us and making every fucking part of me hurt for her. Charlie was beside himself now and ran to her, trying his best to get her closer to his waiting cruiser, the lights already turned on and flashing blue around the yard.

"Bella, you're scaring the hell out of me. Let us take you to the hospital! You have to be seen by a real doctor!"

"No!" She angrily sobbed, nearly shoving him back. "Stay away from me! Please, I can't breathe with you close like this! Just step back! Would you just stop trying to get me into the car!"

Charlie didn't listen and it was then that the realization struck me hard, it's force like the weight of a loaded semi, when Bella continued to put distance between herself and all of us, her shaking form nearly reaching the tree line before she collapsed onto the wet ground there. Charlie stubbornly followed her and she let out another agonized scream, as all the many pieces of this jagged jigsaw puzzle rapidly began to fall into place for me. I turned my head toward Sue to see her hand covering her mouth, as the tears she tried to hide slid steadily down her cheeks at the sight of what was happening right in front of us. At what my fucking instincts had been silently telling me all along. I should have listened to them from the start.

I moved faster than I knew possible then, my adrenaline pushing me forward as I sprinted toward them on a dead run. I saw Bella's body further curl in on itself and I shouted to him just as she cried out for me.

"Charlie! Get back!"

"Jacob!"

I ran faster then and physically knocked Charlie out of the way, his fall from my hit the least of my worries as my tremors hastily began to overtake me. Charlie stared up at me in disbelief when I got back on my feet and held out my hands to him in dire warning. Bella would never forgive herself if she hurt him like that.

"Stay right here, Charlie. Don't move."

He managed a nod to me in return, his face paling into a shade of ghostly white, as another shriek came from Bella. I tore off in her direction, the maddening thoughts inside my head enough to make me feel as if I was going crazy myself right now.

This couldn't be happening.

How was it even possible?

She didn't even have the heritage for this. She wasn't a descendent of Taha Aki or even in the direct bloodline to him.

The only female that had ever phased was Leah and that had been hell on her. She still struggled with who she was and where she fit in this world because of it. I didn't want that for Bella. I didn't want any of it for her. I could remember the first time I phased like it was yesterday. The pain from it had been almost more than I could take. My every bone and limb feeling fucking broken and pushed beyond their limits. I could recall every torturous minute of it. The mere agony of it all making the experience permanently seared into my brain.

I couldn't deny what was happening to her, even if I wanted to. Truth was, when her fever hadn't gone down like we'd hoped last night, something, call it wolf intuition or call it my own instincts at work, told me that she wasn't sick with a simple case of the flu.

I halted my run and dropped down in front of her, my hands forcefully gripping her shoulders and making her meet my gaze, the sight of her tears enough to knock the wind out of me. Her skin was hotter than my own had ever felt and I inwardly cringed at what that meant for her.

Fuck... give it to me all over again. Let me go through that hell twice, but for the love of god, don't make her feel this. Don't make her go through what I did. Anything but that.

"Why is this happening to me!? Tell me!" She screamed, her tone full of the kind of fire I knew all too well. The very same kind that showed up right before an initial phase took hold, because that's exactly what this was.

She was on the verge of phasing for the first time and while I couldn't even fucking begin to understand how that was even possible right now or why it was occurring, my sole focus still remained to be Bella. To be sure that she knew I wasn't leaving her alone in this and that I was here for her. To be whatever she needed, when she needed it. No matter what that meant.

I stared into the fearful doe eyes that held everything for me in them. Every kind of true happiness this screwed up world had to offer. Every hope and dream I'd ever known and every damn part of the nearly tangible future I wanted to build with her. She clung to me, her shaking fingertips desperately digging into my forearms as her body shook violently.

"Bells, listen to me, honey. Don't fight it. I know this doesn't make any damn sense but-..."

"I'm becoming just like you. That's what's happening to me, isn't it? I'm so scared."

"I know you are, sweetheart. But I'm right here for you, alright? Don't resist the phase. It'll only make the pain worse."

"Is that what you did? Tried to resist it?"

"It's only normal to fight against something fearful and unfamiliar. It's the body's own natural response but trust me, you won't hurt as much if you let go and give into the change."

I slowly took my hands off her shoulders and backed away, my eyes never leaving hers as my tremors steadily gripped me, leaving me unable to ward them off any longer. They overtook every part of me and I let them this time. She needed me to be a leader for her right now and that's exactly what I was going to give her. Imprint or not, she was the reason I breathed.

The tremendous fear on her face made me call out to her one last time before I erupted into the wolf and gave him the reign he was demanding in this moment.

"Keep your eyes on me, honey. You're going to be okay. I promise you."

She nodded once and I heard the ripping come from my own tattered cut offs being shredded when the wolf within me erupted then, and swiftly landed on all fours in front of her.

**A/N: I hope you guys all enjoyed this new chapter! It's a definite turn of events! Please let me know your thoughts on it and I look forward to hearing from you! ;-) Thank you so much for all the love and support.**


	32. Chapter 32

***Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the Twilight Saga Series or any of the characters within it's content. They are the property of the great Stephanie Meyers. This is just my own story line.* **

**CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO**

**(JPOV)**

Bella was panicking, her gaze looking truly distraught as she tried to understand just why the hell this was happening to her. She was desperately still trying to fight against the phase despite my prior warning, and I struggled to remain in wolf form while I watched from a distance. My insides ripping apart from the sight of her pain when she fell back down into the wet grass with a helpless cry. She let out a final scream then and sharply raised her head my way, her eyes locking with my own, before her very figure began to shift in front of me. I felt fucking frozen and utterly damn numb where I stood, as her beautiful ivory skin was rapidly replaced with a snow white fur. The harsh sound of the ripping from her clothes when they were shredded to mere strips of cloth that laid around her from the phase now, had Charlie frantically yelling like a madman behind us. He was beside himself, but I could barely register the sound of the chaotic madness unfolding. Everything else around me faded away and became completely meaningless while I stared at the breathtaking perfection just off to my left. Her coat thick and shining brilliantly when the suns rays beat down upon it. Her wolf gaze even more captivating to me than her human eyes had ever been, and that was really saying something, because one look from those dark doe eyes of hers had always been enough to knock the wind out of me, and make my knees go weak. The bold and striking caramel and amber hue of her stare now, left me unable to think or even move while it held me captive there. Nothing around me appeared bright or in vivid color anymore next to her. The changing leaves of Fall that surrounded us appeared dull in comparison, the grass not as green, and even they sky not holding the same kind of majestic blue it once had. I couldn't take my gaze from her when my steady stance faltered at the frantic sound of her thoughts suddenly linking with my own.

_"Wh-what...-Wh-where... how the hell-..."_

I huffed and shook my head, slowly approaching her and stilling when my fur brushed against her own.

_"Bells, honey... it's alright. You're okay. You're more than okay. You're absolutely fucking perfect."_

_"Holy shit! You can hear me!? You're in my thoughts now?! How!?"_ She yelled, whipping her head my way as she tried to gain her bearings, the unfamiliar feel of it all making her eyes search wildly in every which direction.

She was scared and rightfully so.

I remembered all too well that kind of terrified feeling and I hated that she had to experience it.

_"Yeah, I can hear you, honey. That's how a pack mind works. Remember?"_

_"This can't be happening to me! This can't really be real!?"_

_"It's real."_ I replied, tentatively brushing my muzzle against hers in assurance._ "...but you're still you and I'm still me."_

_I listened to the change in her heartbeat when I got closer, it's fast rhythm soon slowing when I carefully nudged into her side._

_"Tell me you have some kind of answers for this!? Please? This is some kind of mistake or-"_ Bella hedged, her thoughts racing back and forth between the past, and present and causing my own inner monologue to become a whole new level of madness.

_"I don't, Bells. I'm sorry. I'd be lying to you if I said I did, but you're with me and I won't let anything happen to you. Not ever. Don't be afraid."_

_"Is this permanent!? What if I don't know how to phase back to human form like you can? What if I can't and I'm stuck like this!?"_

_"You won't be. I know this is scary as hell for you."_

_"It is! This shouldn't be happening, right? You have to know something more about this!?"_ She huffed, jumping back and half stumbling on her new legs with a frustrated whine. The very sound of it made me abruptly lurch forward toward her in response. My every sense heightened and my reactions tuned to her every move or flinch right now.

_"Careful, honey."_ I nervously cautioned to her.

She looked toward me and then frantically back to Charlie and Sue, who were both in some kind of catatonic shock while they stared between the two of us. Neither one of them daring to speak a single word yet. Charlie's mouth hung open and his eyes were as wide as saucers when Sue swiftly took hold of him by the arm for support.

He would need some kind of damn therapist by the end of all this... I was almost sure of it.

_"They saw everything, didn't they!? Oh god, Jacob!"_

_"Hey-... one thing at a time, alright? Let's just focus on you right now. You're my first priority. The rest will work itself out later."_

She nodded once with another huff my way before her truly intoxicating wolf gaze darted sharply in the direction of the forest. I instantly recognized the fight or flight mode she was waring with in this moment, unsure of which desire to give into first as she stood on unsteady ground. This was disorienting for her and I knew exactly how she felt. Like a foreigner in her own skin.

That had been my first instinct too right after I'd phased, to run like hell and never look back. Every part of me wanted to take cover in the dense forest. Where nobody else's inquisitive eyes could gawk at me. It felt like being under a damn microscope at every moment and it was unnerving as all hell. I nodded toward the trees, taking a few paces backwards and silently willing her to follow me. I still didn't know if she trusted herself enough to make a move like that yet, but I was willing to give it a try, knowing that it could damn well be exactly what she needed from me right now.

_"I feel like I can't be still. I can't catch my breath... I have to get away... Like I need to-..."_

_"I know...-"_ I replied to her, backing up further, my paws digging harshly into the muddy ground beneath me, as every leader instinct I had told me to let her run. I listened to it, knowing it would never steer me wrong when it came to her.

She looked toward Charlie again, her worry for him plainly etched into her every hesitant move.

_"He may not be okay after this, Jacob. He's been through a lot the last few days! I don't even know if I'm okay!"_ She softly admitted.

_"You're gonna be okay and Sue's here, honey. He's not alone and you can come back and explain everything to him later. I'll go with you when you do. When you're ready for that. Trust me, Sue would never let anything happen to him. She cares too much for your dad."_

Bella slowly raised her head and met my wolf gaze with her own then, her response making a fiery thrill run through my veins as she headed in my direction.

_"You know I'd follow you anywhere, Jacob. To the ends of the earth if you asked me to."_

With that final thought, she tore off into the forest without a backwards glance, her speed making me cuss as I darted after her.

_"Fuck..."_

I marveled at how she didn't stumble once, as she weaved her way agilely around the many bases of the tall trees and sprinted straight ahead, her fur blowing in the morning breeze when she playfully challenged me.

_"Think you can keep up?"_

_"We'll soon see, won't we?"_ I huffed to her in reply, letting her gain a good distance on me purposefully so I could see just how well she was adapting to the change. To what would have thrown anyone else into a full blown panic attack and left them reeling for days from the shock of it all, or at the very least, making them convinced they were in fact fucking crazy. I'd seen it before with Collin and Brady. Both of them struggling for weeks after their first initial phases to even control themselves or keep up with the rest of us when out on a patrol run. Bella wasn't displaying the same kind of struggle at all and I soon found myself amazed by her abilities this early on. None of this made any fucking sense to me, but she was the best kind of mystery.

We ran for miles, her speed unwavering until the cool air of the morning faded. She was magnificent and I was enthralled with her every move, with the grace in which she already carried herself with, and how she possessed a confidence now that I'd never seen in her before. I halted my run with her when she suddenly slowed her own pace by a nearby tree and turned around to face me, our linked minds giving me a full view of what she was thinking. The tormented look in her wolf gaze made me want to go blind and caused my fur to stand on end. I heard the uneasy whine leave her as the many visions of my time without her for the past five years, played out between the two of us like a movie I wanted to press the stop button on but fucking couldn't.

No one could unring this bell. Not even if they tried to. Once the thoughts were out there, they were solidly in place and there was no going back. She saw everything. Every damn unwanted detail and every wrong choice I'd stupidly made. Every drunken encounter and meaningless one night stand I'd ever had with the many women who could never come close to meaning what she did to me. She witnessed every time I had desperately tried to force some kind of connection with another, just so I could stop the pain that was slowly but surely trying to kill me without her. The weight of her gaze felt penetrating and I swore I could physically feel her sadness as the memories continued on. Seconds that felt like endless minutes passed before she slowly approached me, every part of me feeling raw and exposed from what she'd just seen inside my own head. From what I could no longer hide from her. She didn't pause or hesitate as her muzzle drew close to mine, her thoughts open and vulnerable to me, while I tried to explain myself.

_"Bells, they didn't mean anything-... None of them were-... I wasn't-"_

She timidly lifted her head up then and held my gaze, seeing the shame I wore for my prior choices, when her nose lightly grazed against my own, before she paused there and pressed herself firmly into my side. Her beautiful white fur striking in contrast when displayed against my own in the very same way our skin was when in human form.

"_You don't have to explain anything to me, Jacob. That wasn't you. It's part of the past now and I know your heart. I've always known who you truly are. It's alright."_

_"My heart is yours."_

I felt her rest her head against mine just as the chaos began to unfold again all the more. Our time of solace was definitely up as one pack member after the other abruptly phased in. Bella leaned into me further and I took a protective stance over her as they all headed our way. I could feel the fear rolling off her in waves as I rose to my full height in response. A possessive fire hastily flooded it's way through me then, and I was more than ready to fiercely defend her if needed.

_"What should I do? Should I try to phase back before they all get here? They may hate having me part of the pack."_

_"Don't worry, honey. Stay close to me. I promise, it will be okay."_

_"I'm not ready for this, Jacob." _She uneasily whined, her head tucking under my own.

_"You don't have to be. That's what I'm for, sweetheart."_

She curled herself against me and I stared ahead at the bordering tree line, silently bracing myself for the onslaught of the many distraught questions I knew were coming our way.

**A/N: Aaahhh! Hey to all my super fantastic readers! ;-) Thank you a MILLION times for all the awesome reviews you guys left! I love reading them all! So this was a BIG chapter and there is more coming tomorrow with another update in the afternoon, so be sure to stay tuned for that! This update was brought to you by the song inspiration of "Ruelle- Madness"... and "Sleeping at Last- Climate". Give them both a listen :-) Till Next Time!**


	33. Chapter 33

**CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE**

**(JPOV)**

The pack soon surrounded us, their wolf gazes flickering between Bella and I with alarm. All of their comments and questions coming at us all at once with an urgency that couldn't be ignored.

_"Holy hell! What is going on! Is she-" Paul began._

_"Is this for real!?"_ Seth added, nearly colliding with Paul in his hurry to get to us.

_"Course it's freaking real! Does she look real to you dumbass!?"_ Jared quipped back angrily, his tone short and hostile.

_"Hey! Don't be a complete ass!"_ Quil defended, stepping protectively in front of Seth with a look of agitation clear in his wolf gaze.

_"She's not in the bloodline! How can she-"_ Embry haughtily countered

_"Alright! That's enough! Settle down!"_ I asserted, seeing them immediately hunker down and go silent at the authoritative tone I used. Their bickering was giving me a damn migraine and I was all done listening to it.

_"Sorry, man. This is just a real fucking shock."_ Paul eventually hedged, his wolf gaze going to Bella who remained curled into me._ "I say, welcome to the family."_

Her ears perked up and she huffed his way in response, her timid reply making him approach us as a sign of his alliance.

_"Thanks, Paul. I don't even know why this happened."_

_"Don't matter, we'll figure all that out sooner than you think. For now, just know we're all here for you. Right?" _Paul huffed to the others, their heads bowed and their stances leery when he prompted them to join us_. "Come on. Can we all just grow the hell up and be the pack we're supposed to be?"_

Sam was the one who stepped forward next, his large form coming to stand next to me with a low growl to the others.

_"We don't have all the answers yet but we will. Jacob and I will contact the elders and sort through this. Get some real answers, but we need to remember that the most important thing right now is to be sure we stand united and we help Bella adjust to this. You all can recall how terrifying it was when you first phased, so I don't think it's too much to ask for us to put aside any petty differences we may still have and be there for both Jacob and Bella right now."_

I felt him supportively nudge into my side, as he rose to his full height and waited for the rest of the pack to respond. Both he and Paul sharing a determined glance before anyone made a single move in our direction. Embry was the first to step out, his show of care unexpected when he slowly raised his head and met my gaze

_"She's one of us already because she's part of you, Jacob. This turn of events only makes that fact more solid if you ask me."_ He offered up as he fell in line next to Paul and Sam.

_"I second that."_ Jared added, along with Collin and Brady, all of them trotting over toward us next with a solid nod to Bella while they went.

_"Me, too."_ Quil humbly offered, quickly taking after Jared.

The tension in my body eased then as Bella nervously pulled herself away, her wolf gaze looking up to catch my own as Seth happily added in his final two cents.

_"You know I've always loved you, Bella. This is freaking awesome! You're one of us now!"_

Bella moved herself forward then, branching out closer to the others when they encircled us further. The true sense of family leaving her awe struck when she looked my way once more.

_"You're part of us now, Bella. I think part of you always has been, despite some of the past and distance._" Sam sighed, looking around at the pack who had now come together in a way we all hadn't in a long time. The sight of it touched me more than I could say.

_"Agreed."_ Paul added.

I stilled then as Bella took her place beside me, her confidence returning now that the pack had shown her the kind of support she needed. I backed off then, giving her some room to feel out the comradery happening between the pack and herself. I wanted nothing more than for her to feel truly accepted and part of what we were. Part of what it was we stood for, which was above all else, the family we'd all sworn to keep safe and the lands that we worked tirelessly to defend.

_"I still can't believe this!"_ Paul soon added, taking the time to really look at Bell's new form. "I gotta say, you make a kick ass wolf hun!"

_"We have to consult the elders and Billy about this, Jacob. Right away."_ Sam replied, tossing a concerned look our way.

_"What do you think they'll say?"_ Bella nervously countered to him.

_"To be honest, I'm not sure. I don't think their expecting this. As of now, Leah has been the only female that's gone through the change and phased. We don't have any other knowledge of another. Unless there are legends of it hidden elsewhere that haven't yet resurfaced. The only people who are privy to that kind of information are the elders and Billy, of course. We need them to be able to shed some damn light on all this."_ Sam thoughtfully replied to her.

_"I can go get Billy right now."_ Quil anxiously added. "_You know I can get there in record time!"_

_"No, wait."_ I commanded. _"I'll go. Just not yet."_

_"What the hell are you waiting for? Christmas? Let's get going!"_ Jared asked, his tone cocky and not appreciated. He soon back peddled when he took notice of the angry glare he'd earned from me in response.

I wasn't in the mood and he quickly learned that.

_"Easy, Jacob."_ Sam countered, trying to settle some of the tension now rippling between us. _"Jared, don't question his reasoning. Jacob has good judgement and this is ultimately his call and we will all support and respect it."_

_"Hey, all I'm saying is that we need to figure out how this is even possible and the sooner we do so, the damn better."_ Jared replied.

_"Not your call." _Sam quickly clarified._ "Know your place."_

_"Understood."_

Bella cautiously backed herself into me, as the pack began to hash out more of the details surrounding her phase.

_"There has to be some kind of link to the bloodline that we were unware of, or it's imprint related?"_ Paul asked, his gaze falling on Bella and I before Sam addressed him.

_"Could be that or it could be something that were missing. Something we never knew about. The elders are known for their secrets and the council, too. They have their unique way of doing things. I think we all know that."_

_"True."_ Paul huffed out in reply.

_"I don't think we should overwhelm her with everything right now. I'll go with you to see the elders and Billy if you want? Give her some time to rest?"_ Seth kindly offered, brushing into Bella's side with a playful nod. He was getting a thrill out of this.

_"I am feeling tired. Exhausted actually."_ Bella admitted, leaning herself close to my side as the others in the pack began to dissipate and give the two of us some much needed space.

_"I say we regroup at the Lumber Yard when night falls. That'll give everyone some time to settle and ponder. Sound like a plan, Jacob?"_ Sam asked, his tone full of respect when he proposed this idea.

_"Agreed. I think that's best."_ I solidly replied, glancing around at the many nods of compliance that came from each of them then.

_"Okay, it's settled then. We meet at sunset. I'll be sure to reach the council and request their presence tonight."_ Sam stated.

_"... and I'll get Billy."_ I added, as Bella let her head fall against me, her body having been pushed past it's limits from everything. She was running on empty.

_"It's a deal. See you two then, brother."_ Sam huffed before he turned and headed away from us with the rest of the pack following fast behind him.

They had all stepped up for Bella and I in a big way and I would never forget the kind of loyalty and support they had shown here. After all, it's what being in a pack was all about and I was grateful to each of them.


	34. Chapter 34

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR**

**(BPOV)**

I wanted to go back to a time when all the magic and monsters were nothing more than a good suspenseful read before bedtime. Was that really too much to ask?

Nothing felt safe or familiar as I struggled to even comprehend how something like this could happen to me? To little old and ordinary me?!

All this time, I had thought that coming back to Forks and facing Jacob would be the hardest thing ahead of me. I'd been so wrong. That felt like a walk in the park compared to this. The pain of the phase was nothing short of excruciating and I mentally kicked myself for never even considering how much this truly sucked for Jacob when he had faced it. I was too caught up in my own selfish world without Edward at the time, to ever pause long enough to ponder the kind of suffocating pain he'd endured to even become what he was. To morph into the kind of magnificent creature that now stood only a few feet ahead of me. I mentally shuddered when I imagined the kind of agony his unsuspecting body had been forcefully thrown into when his own fever had first set in years ago. I wasn't just selfish back then, I was blindly and shamefully self absorbed. I should've been there for him, supported him, the very same way he had just done for me. I knew he'd purposefully tried to keep me away at the time, to keep what he was a secret and not wanting me to get caught in the crossfires of it all the way poor Emily had with Sam, but that was no excuse for my neglectful behavior. I owed him so much more than that.

We broke through the clearing that led to his backyard and the adrenaline I'd first felt had long since left me now. I was truly spent, my every muscle and limb prominently aching from all my body had endured. Jacob had led the way, keeping a slow pace with me until we finally made it back to his place on the Reservation. We had run further than I initially thought. The many miles feeling endless as the morning swiftly gave way to the afternoon and my exhaustion peaked. I felt too warn out to even try to phase back and when Jacob's wolf gaze met mine, I knew he could sense it.

_"It's easier than you think, honey." _He softly encouraged, his tone with me warm and affectionate even through the connection we now shared in our thoughts.

_"It feels anything but that-..."_ I truthfully replied, looking toward his front porch and longing to be back on two legs so I could just collapse for a little while_._

_"That's the key. Right there, honey. Focus on how much you want it and your own instincts will do the rest. I'll show you."_

I watched closely as he ran ahead and turned himself to face me, the heat coming off his skin in near tangible waves when his wolf form began to rapidly blur and shift in front of me. I marveled at just how easy he made it all look, considering that it felt next to impossible for me to accomplish right about now. Before I could fully blink twice, he was standing ahead of me on two legs and completely naked, his russet skin smooth over his taut muscles and his eyes dark with an alluring expectancy that forced me forward to him with a nearly magnetic kind of pull.

"Remember what I said, focus on the feeling and trust your instincts. You're alright. I know you can do it." He hedged, the sound of his husky voice washing itself over me like that of a welcome rivers current and wrapping me up like a heavy blanket on a cold Winters day. Everything felt so unfamiliar and unsteady and I was desperate to feel secure again.

He was that for me. We were that for each other. Always had been.

I took notice of how his stance was rigid and how his eyes would search out our surroundings before they settled back on me, as if he were still on high alert even now with being back in human form. I did as he suggested then and concentrated on the undeniable desire I had to be back on two legs. Back in a skin I knew and back where I could have his strong arms around me. No more than a few fleeting seconds passed before the white fur began to disappear, a gasp leaving me when I soon felt the wet ground beneath my feet... my human two left feet.

I held my hands out, staring widely at my thin fingers before my eyes trailed over the rest of my naked form. My skin still so warm to the touch that it startled me when I pressed my palm against my stomach and paused there, my cheeks flushing as I slowly raised my head to see Jacob standing there in all his perfection. His eyes trailing down my bare body with a lustful hunger that made my insides melt from the mere sight of it. So much had occurred in just one day and I found it hard for me to even breathe as I continued to hold Jacobs penetrative gaze.

There were so many things that needed to be done. Things that had to be settled and I still had about a million damn unanswered questions.

We had to get ahold of Billy and my father was probably on his way to a mental institution from everything he'd witnessed this morning. The mere shock of it all, enough to push any sane person over the edge. My whole world as I'd known it was no longer the same and it never would be. It could never go back to the way it was.

Edward and Alice were still here in Washington somewhere and I greatly feared what this turn of events would start. I knew it could initiate something between the Cullen's and the pack. My head whirled and my anxiety gripped me hard at all the different scenarios now running rampant through my mind. None of them ending well. I'd held it together up until right now and just as I was ready to give in to the growing panic I'd kept at bay for hours, Jacob was there, closing the distance between us in three long strides and drawing my trembling body in close to his. He didn't try to comfort me with meaningless sentiments, becaause he knew better than anyone how ineffective they were when you felt this. Like everything you'd ever known was gone suddenly. Harshly ripped away so quickly that it nearly knocked the wind out of you. Now that the surge of adrenaline had left me, I was beginning to crumble from the weight of it all. The harsh ache in my bones was far worse than any kind of joint pain that I'd felt before from a simple case of the twenty-four hour flu bug. I stared up into Jacobs face, his eyes searching my own as I tried to say something, but there were no words. No proper description of what I was feeling in this moment. The shock had taken hold now and left me reeling, drowning in the sea of unknown that felt truly suffocating for me.

I saw the understanding reflected back to me in Jacobs dark eyes, his skin so close to my own that I couldn't help but reach out and tentatively graze my fingertips down his well defined chest and abs. I stilled my hand when I felt him shudder in response to my touch then, his breath coming out in a chilled fog around him when his gaze fell from my face to my bare breasts, now heaving from the control over my composure that I was fighting so hard to keep. I couldn't move as the palpable tension grew to new heights. My own gaze lingering over his sculpted perfection with eyes anew. I swallowed thickly, trying to find the damn will power to back away from him, but I quickly learned that I had no self restraint left when Jacob gently drew my body flush against his. The skin to skin contact with him made me audibly whimper, the sound needy and unexpected when it left my parted lips. The building tension between us rapidly became more than either one of us could stand, and I couldn't stop my head from tilting toward the bright sky when his strong hands roamed up my back and thrusted into my hair, lightly tugging at the roots and making everything south of my waist tingle with anticipation. He ghosted his soft lips over my own and I trembled, his breathy words pulling yet another low whimper from the back of my throat and leaving me completely at his mercy.

"I wanna taste every sweet inch of you, honey. It's all I can think about right now."

"I want you, Jacob." I admitted. "I need you."

It was nothing but my truth and even though I knew there were far more important things at hand, right now, all I craved was his touch. To be as physically close to him as I could get. Like he were the only lifeline in this storm for me, because truthfully, it felt as if he was.

"I need you more, honey." He whispered, his strained tone forcing me to meet his fiery gaze and it was my undoing.

I pulled him to me, my lips hungrily claiming his own and my body flooding with a fire I'd never known, as he grabbed me by the ass and kissed me with a reckless abandon that made me wet for him. His firm hold making me press eagerly against his bare skin when his swollen length ran along my slick center. His tongue teasingly brushed mine and I moaned into his open mouth, the sound eliciting a low growl to rumble through his chest in response, and god help me, but it was the sexiest thing I'd ever heard. My hands wove into his thick hair as I angled my head and kissed him deeply, his taste exploding into my mouth and making me feel drunk on our kiss alone. He headed for his front porch, never letting me go when he hastily shoved open the front door and swiftly slammed it shut behind us. The force of his hand causing the walls to nearly shake around it. I needed him more than I needed my next breath right now.

I moved my hips upward, causing a groan to come from him as he tugged on the roots of my hair, tilting my head back as his hot mouth trailed down to the hollow groove of my neck. I was puddy in his strong hands and he knew it. He made me feel things I'd never felt before. Made me bold enough to cross physical limits with him that I would have never felt comfortable enough with another to do. No one had ever touched me in the way he had. Not even Edward. Our intimate contact had been severely limited since my wedding night and I had shamefully resorted to taking care of things myself for a long time now.

I was free with Jacob and more than that, he completed me in a way that Edward never had. In such a way that I feared would never happen because of the wrong choice I'd made five years ago.

The few dishes that lay on his table soon came crashing down to the floor when he urgently cleared them off with one swipe of his arm, neither one of us caring enough to even give them a glance as he slowly slid me down his body, a needy moan coming from me when his prominent erection slid against my slick folds.

"Jacob." I gasped, reaching for him as he placed me on the wooden table and kissed me thoroughly once more before his tongue worked it's way further south. His mouth soon hovered over my dripping sex and I swore I saw stars when he ran that tongue along my sensitive flesh, skillfully working me into a frenzy until I couldn't form words. My throat was dry from panting and I nearly combusted when he slid his long fingers inside me, his tongue gliding up to circle my swollen nub. I cried out his name, my back arching and my entire body now tight and willing for him as his husky words filled the kitchen. The sound of it enough to push me into a gripping climax that left me shaking.

"...right there, baby."

I desperately reached for him then, sitting up as he removed his fingers with a gasp at the feel of my hand firmly stroking his length. I watched his eyes roll back as my thumb gently circled the oozing tip.

"You're perfect, Jacob. Every part of you."

His eyes snapped open then and his arms hauled me up faster than I could react, my legs wrapping tightly around his waist, as he headed for his room with me. He kept me pressed to him as he crawled onto the bed and covered my naked body with his own, his kiss hungry and his thrust deep and urgent when he filled me to the hilt. I gasped into his mouth, spasming around him from the fullness when he pinned one of my legs and went deeper, hitting a place that made me unable to silence the cry that left me. He slowed his pace as his cheek lovingly brushed mine, his lips next to my ear when he whispered the sweetest nothings that meant everything.

"You're the most important thing to me, sweetheart. No one else will ever come close. I love you so damn much, Bells... Forever."

I basked in the feel of being this close to him, his every thrust making me hold him tighter until there was no separation between us.

He was my beginning and my end.

**A/N: I hope you all really enjoyed this next chapter! There will be another posted tomorrow evening so stay tuned! :-) Song inspiration for this one goes out to ..."Primavera- Divenire." It's a lovely instrumental peice. Give it a listen if you'd like and please leave a review telling me your thoughts! Thank you so so much!**

**P.S. Any and all spelling errors accidentally made, I have checked over again and corrected and I do sincerely apologize for any I miss!**


	35. Chapter 35

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE**

**(JPOV)**

Bella slept most of the morning away, the sight of her naked form laying in my bed enough to get me hard for her all over again. We were insatiable.

I swallowed firmly and soon tore myself out of the open doorway to my bedroom, heading into the kitchen to cook some lunch for her. I pawed through the near empty cupboards in a desperate search to throw something half appetizing together, before we had to head back out and meet Sam at the Lumber Yard. I was wrist deep in meatloaf when the sound of a pounding knock on my front door, forced me to drop everything and answer it. I hurriedly washed my hands, cussing under my breath as I shot a worried glance down the hall, hoping that the incessant banging wouldn't be enough to wake Bella from the kind of deep sleep that her body needed right now. I snatched the towel from the stove and stalked across the entry way to see just what the hell all the noise was about. The pounding came again just as I whipped the wooden door open with a heated glare, my annoyance clear on my face when I stared out at an irate Charlie. His hands were on his hips and he was in uniform and I felt the tenseness in my own body grow when he stormed in past me without a single word.

This couldn't be good. Not at all.

Shit...

I turned to face him with a weary expression, noting how he was already beginning to pace back and forth in the kitchen, his eyes wide and his breathing heavy. He was pissed.

"Charlie...-listen-" I hedged, squaring my shoulders for what I feared would be the third degree from him, given all we'd kept him in the dark about.

"I'm not angry with you. Honestly, that's not why I came here and it's not what this is about. First things first, tell me that Bella is alright? Is she-" He asked in evident concern. I placed a solid hand on his shoulder then and met his tormented gaze, my words nothing but sincere with him.

"She's okay and she will be just fine. I know you need answers and I promise you that first thing tomorrow morning, you'll get them. We don't wanna keep you in the dark anymore. It's time you knew and dad should be there, too. It's only fair he be involved as well."

He nodded to me in agreement and then reached his hand into his back pocket, swiftly pulling out a folded piece of paper, before shoving it my way with an expectant glare.

I took it from him, my eyes scanning over the bold italic lettering printed prominently at the very top of the single page.

RESTRAINING ORDER

"What the hell is this!" I balked, reading down further to see my name plainly placed within it's content. The plantiff/petitioner's name also highlighted in yellow and as my eyes fell on it, a rage fit to be tied nearly consumed me. "He did this? When?!"

Charlie reached a hand out and pulled me harshly back when I headed straight for the door. "Wait a minute! I know you want to kill him and I don't blame you. Trust me, but as a cop, I can't let you leave here and act on that right now. This came across my desk an hour ago and I came straight to you. I wasn't even gonna go in to work this morning, but I had to do something to keep my mind off some of this shit. I can't get what I saw out of my head."

"Everything will be explained to you soon enough. You have my word, Charlie."

"I know and you have to keep your damn head about you here. This is just his way to get under your skin and scare Bella into staying with him."

"Does this hold up in a court?" I bitterly countered.

"Afraid so. That's why I'm here. Until this calms down and Bella files for an official divorce from Edward, she can't stay here with you on the Reservation. I know this shit couldn't come at a worse time, but-"

"-you can't take her back to Forks with you." I adamantly stated.

"I have no choice and neither does she. By law, I can't witness you violate the order and not respond to it, Jacob. It could cost me my job."

I went mute then, slamming the paper down on the table and causing Charlie to jump in response.

"You don't understand what I'm saying. Bella doesn't have any kind of control over herself right now, Charlie. She just phased for the first time this morning, trust me when I tell you, she can't be at your house. Anything that sets her off could cause her to phase again and if she hurt you by accident in the process-"

"Then we're at an impasse, son."

We shared a loaded look and neither one of us seemed to have a solution.

"She doesn't love him, Charlie. She wants to be here with me."

"I know she does, Jacob. I won't pretend to even begin to understand everything that's happening. I think I'm in a state of shock still honestly, but I do have a damn job to do and I can't simply ignore this. It was given to me for a reason.

"Yeah, to put you in a position you shouldn't be in. Don't be a fool with him, Charlie. He's fucking toying with you. With all of us. He knows exactly what he's doing and just how to play the right strings on certain people. It's how he and his whole family work. How they get away with what they do."

"Sneaky little shit." Charlie huffed, crossing his arms across his chest, before running a hand over his tired face. "What the hell are we going to do?"

"She won't go back with you. If you demand her to, it will only upset her and we can't have that right now."

"Something I'll have to take note of for the future now I assume?"

"Definitely." I replied, glancing toward the hall that led to my bedroom where she was as I gave him the solid truth. "I need her as much as she needs me, Chief. I don't expect you to understand what hasn't been fully explained to you yet, but I'm asking you to believe me when I tell you that no good will come from you holding true to that joke of a restraining order. So please, and I hate to ask you to do this, can you just look the other way? If not for me, then for her?"

Charlie stared back at me for a long time before he offered up an kind of reply. His head shaking back and forth several times with a heavy sigh leaving him, as he looked down toward the paper on the table in front of us. His question simple and straight forward when he found the right words he needed to finally ask it.

"Will it hurt her to not be with you? If I follow this, will it cause her harm in any way? Be honest with me."

I inwardly cringed as his words made me reflect on the physical pain I myself had endured for the past five long years without her. The memory alone making me look away from him when I replied.

"Yes, more than you know."

Charlie's face fell then, my gaze catching his when I turned my head his way again and saw the torn expression he wore.

"You know I trust you with her life, Jacob. There's not one person besides myself that I know without a shadow of a doubt she's more safe with, but this is asking a lot."

I nodded, my hands balling into tight fists as the inferno I'd been trying to keep at bay began to spread now. The wolf within me was raging to be set free and seek vengeance and it was a pull I struggled against, as Charlie stood a mere five feet from me. I couldn't unleash that with him this close. No fucking way.

"Dad?"

Bella's timid and sleep fill tone cut through the room suddenly, stealing our attention and making the both of us look her way when she wandered over to me. She was dressed in one of my oversized sweatshirts and she stared between the two of us with an alarmed look.

"Hi, kiddo." Charlie offered up lightly to her, his fake smile not convincing her everything was alright, even though he tried to.

"I'm so sorry you had to see everything like that." She half cried, leaving my side to wrap her arms around him in a tight embrace. I saw him hold her close and look my way, our eyes locking with a silent understanding that didn't need words.

He knew I was speaking only the truth.

Edward Cullen had fucked with the wrong Alpha and if it was a war he wanted, then it was a war he was going to get.

**A/N: You guys are truly the best! Thank you so much for all the kind words and support! Please feel free to leave me a review for this chapter! I want to know your thoughts here! :-) Till Next Time! **


	36. Chapter 36

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX**

**(BPOV)**

Every part of my body still ached when I forcefully drug myself out of Jacobs bed and followed the loud voices that were coming from his kitchen. I felt disoriented and half out of it while I headed out of his room.

"Will it hurt her to not be with you? If I follow this, will it cause her harm in any way? Be honest with me?"

That was Charlie's heightened and authoritative baritone. I knew that for sure. It was unmistakable and all on duty and official. I felt the nerves knot themselves unpleasantly in my already upset stomach and I paused half way down the hall at the sound of Jacob's uneasy tone when he replied to him.

"Yes, more than you know."

What were they talking about? Would what hurt me?

"You know I trust you with her life, Jacob. There's not one person besides myself that I know without a shadow of a doubt she's more safe with, but this is asking a lot."

I struggled to understand just what the hell was going on and my head was pounding from this incessant migraine that just wouldn't quit already.

I stumbled forward, rubbing some of the sleep from my eyes as I stepped into the kitchen, the rife tension in the air making me look to both of them in confusion.

"Dad?"

They both abruptly stopped the conversation and turned their heads my way, neither one of them offering up a word at first. They looked like unsuspecting deer caught in the headlights.

"Hi, Kiddo." Charlie finally stated, his smile not touching his eyes when he offered it up and my insides beginning to crawl with dread at the sight of it. Charlie hated faking anything, even his emotions. He wore them plainly in his worried expression as I timidly drew close into Jacob's side.

He appeared pale and looked as if he was on the verge of saying something but soon thought better of it.

"I'm so sorry you had to see everything like that." I replied, my tears welling up as I went to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

Would he even want me to be close to him anymore? Was he afraid of me now? After everything he'd witnessed? Would he see me as some sort of monster or freak? Hell, I was afraid of myself to be honest.

Charlie immediately returned my embrace and I closed my eyes, pressing my face into his uniform and taking some refuge in the shelter his arms provided.

"I'm so glad you're alright, kiddo. You gave your old man a real scare you know? You still feel warm. Is that normal? Part of this- whatever this is?" He questioned.

"It's completely normal. Our bodies run at higher temperatures. One hundred and eight degree's is considered the norm." Jacob offered to him in explanation and I couldn't help but feel like I was in some sort of dream. One that I was going to wake up from soon.

Charlie gently released me with a sigh, his hands on my shoulders when he lovingly peered down into my face.

"As long as you're okay. That's all that matters to me, alright? The rest just needs to be explained. Jacob here said he plans to have a sit down with me tomorrow morning and I look forward to getting a little more info on all this. May have to be drunk when he tells me, but hey I guess that's okay."

I chuckled at this and shot a weary glance back to Jacob, his returning wink of assurance to me somehow easing the nervous tension in my body. He reached his hand out for mine and I took it, as his lips touched my cheek, before returning to the stove and offering Charlie to stay with us for lunch.

He was cooking again and I had to admit, there was something about the sight of him in the kitchen that turned me on. I shook my head, trying to rid the memory of how perfect his naked body fit with my own. I bit down on my bottom lip, watching him work about the kitchen, seeing how the well defined muscles in his arms flexed when he skillfully chopped up onions and peppers for whatever recipe he was preparing.

Charlie seemed as enthralled by Jacobs cooking abilities as I was, although for an entirely different reason, of course.

"Jeez, son. When did you become Chef Emeril? I didn't know you could cook like that?"

"Just something I picked up." Jacob casually replied with a shrug.

"Something you picked up?" Charlie disbelievingly countered. "Wait a minute. You mean to tell me that I've been eating frozen hungry man meals from the supermarket almost every night for dinner, and here you are making fine cuisine!? Nice of your old man to share that tidbit with me!? Guess he's been keeping a lot of secrets these days!"

Jacob placed the pan in the oven and turned toward Charlie with a knowing smirk.

"You already know dad thinks of you like family, Charlie. That will never change. Anytime you wanna have dinner here, you're more than welcome and as far as the secrets go, he had to. He had no choice. It wasn't because he didn't trust you."

Charlie nodded in understanding at this and leaned back in the kitchen chair with a contemplative expression.

"You don't think he could have just told me what the hell was going on with you from the start? Would have helped. That's for damn sure. Especially now."

"Trust me chief, there was no other way. Dad never took that lightly either. He hated lying to you." Jacob truthfully stated.

"I'm sure he did." Charlie huffed, taking a closer look around at some of the work Jacob had done in Sue's old house. "You've got some real raw talent for fixing this place up. Still have a ways to go I see, but good work in here."

"Thanks, Charlie."

I tilted my head when I caught sight then of a folded piece of paper half hazardely tucked into Charlie's front pocket of his uniform. The crumpled nature of it, making me know he had stuffed it in there in a damn hurry. I squinted and reached for it when he took a swig from the beer Jacob had kindly offered him a moment ago. His hand flew up in protest, trying to snatch it from me, but my reaction was far faster than his own and I marveled at how smooth my movements had been. Normally, I would have dropped it, or torn it, possibly even ripped poor Charlie's shirt pocked in the process of trying to collect it, but not anymore. I stood from the table as Charlie nearly spit out his beer and tried to take it back from me, his brown eyes wide with alarm when I quickly opened it and stared down at the bold lettering.

"Restraining Order?" I breathed in shock, my eyes skimming down over the rest of the paper in record time and collecting the data I wanted, before Charlie harshly yanked it out of my hands and looked desperately to Jacob.

"Bella, listen-..."

"Don't do that to me, dad." I harshly snapped. "Make me think everything is just fine when it isn't. You don't like being kept in the dark, well neither do I."

My blood began to boil and I felt the sweat break out over my skin as I stare wildly between the two of them. Jacob dropped the dish in his hand, the jarring sound of it hitting the sink, like a loud drum being struck over and over again in my head.

"Honey-"

I couldn't register anything but the rolling heat licking it's way up my spine right now. The sudden blaze of it making me gasp as the tremors that rocked my aching body, swiftly returned to me with a vengeance. Jacob met my gaze from across the kitchen and he moved faster than I could blink. His tall frame blocked me from Charlie when he whipped open the front door and nodded once my way, his single mouthed word pushing me forward in that moment, like a wild horse that had been set free.

"Go."

His gaze said it all to me.

_Don't fight it. Give in to the wolf. I'm right behind you._

I pushed past him on a dead run for the trees, not even pausing long enough for a backwards glance to Charlie. There was no time for that. I was barely hanging on here. I made it into the forest before the phase took hold and with an agonizing scream and the shredding of Jacob sweatshirt, I phased, landing on all four paws and huffing, as a pull toward a place I never thought I'd grace the doorstep of again, took hold and left me unable to resist it.

I'd never felt true fury before, never experienced true hatred, but as I took off toward Forks, a white hot anger filled me and I ran faster than I knew was even possible. Jacob was right about one thing. Being a wolf had it's ups and downs and this speed was definitely a perk of the position. In human form, I would have been as ungraceful as ever, tripping and stumbling over every raised twig or tree stump in the forest, but not like this. I was impossibly quick and agile. It was euphoric, like riding a natural high that I never wanted to end. Adrenaline pumped through me and my chest burned with exertion as I covered mile after mile. I'd nearly made it to the Forks border before I was no longer alone in my head. Something that would certainly still take some getting used to for me.

_"Bells, slow down, honey."_

_"I'm faster than you? That can't be possible!?"_

_"Yeah it is, and you sure in hell are. No one in the pack matches my speed. You're truly something else."_ Jacob replied to me with a prideful huff and an awe in his voice, his sudden presence beside me causing me to halt my run and meet his wolf gaze.

_"I'm sorry. Is that bad? Should I-"_

_"Stop apologizing."_ He replied, nudging his head into my side with low growl._ "I think your magnificent. We just don't know what your strengths are yet. Takes time to figure that out. It's all part of the process."_

_"The speed of this is-"_

_"-exhilarating..."_ He finished with another huff and I nudged him back playfully, his charm alluring, even in this form.

_"How do you know a sense of direction so well? As just me, I'm directionally challenged. You know that._"

_"All part of being a wolf, honey. One of the many awesome parts, but just like with anything else, it has it's cons, too."_

I stilled then as he further approached me, his wolf stance sturdy and protective when he lovingly nuzzled against me.

_"You're still you-..."_ I hedged, pressing into him as he cautiously took in our surroundings.

_"...and you're still you."_

_"... and we're still us."_ I thoughtfully countered, as he rose his head and held my gaze.

_"Forever."_

_"Did you come after me to stop me? He had no right to put out that ridiculous restraining order. I'm not leaving La'Push and I'm not leaving you!"_

_"I don't want you to, and no, I didn't follow you to stop you. I know where you're headed. I wanna be with you. Back you up and support you. That's all."_

_"So you're not going to try and talk me out of confronting Edward?"_

_"Not a chance, but I'm not gonna let you go there alone, either. I'm sorry if that feels intrusive or-..."_ He replied, stepping back and giving me the needed room to lead us the rest of the way into Forks.

_"It doesn't feel intrusive. It feels right to me, Jacob. More right than I have ever felt before. Like it was always supposed to be this way."_

_"... because it was, honey. We just didn't know all that would entail until now."_

_"I couldn't do any of this without you."_ I truthfully admitted.

_"Yes, you could. You're stronger than you know, but you won't ever have to. I'll be here. A step behind you... always. I won't let you down."_

_"You never have."_

He nodded toward the foggy trail that led me to my original sought after destination and I tore off then, hearing Jacob fast behind me. He was right, I was far faster than he was and I had no clue what that meant, but I was excited and curious to find out.

When the fog steadily began to dissipate and the trail started to fade before us, I faltered with my run. My lungs burning as an overpowering aroma suddenly made me skid to a harsh stop. Jacob followed suit, his thoughts full of concern now.

_"Bells, honey, you alright? What's wrong?"_

_"What is that!?"_ I choked back to him, my eyes stinging and my throat feeling as if someone had stuck a hot iron down it. I gagged and stumbled back, huffing and shaking my head profusely while I tried to rid the offending stench. My efforts were futile._ "What the...- I'm gonna be sick."_

_"It's them. From the potency of it, I'd say the whole Cullen Clan is waiting nearby."_

_"Oh my-... that's what you've had to smell this whole time! How can you stand it!? It's disgusting!"_ I gasped, my stomach violently churning as the sickeningly sweet aroma grew around us. The foul odor soon causing me to nearly stagger under it's weight.

_"They're close, honey. Real close._" Jacob warned then, any sense of prior humor now gone from his tone as he trotted over to my side and peered ahead. His focus razor sharp and his wolf form rigid, as he waited for what we both knew was coming. I didn't cower into Jacob or back down as the many pairs of golden eyes met ours. All of them wide with shock as they took in the sight before them.

**A/N: I'm so very sorry for the three day delay with posting this chapter update. I have been very sick since mid week last week and its been hard this weekend to write. Hopefully, I'll be on the mend from here on out. Look for a new chapter tomorrow afternoon and see how the confrontation with the Cullens plays out! Thank you again for all your wonderful reviews! Till Next Time! :-)**


	37. Chapter 37

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN**

**(BPOV)**

Carlisle studied me closely, his gaze almost intrusive as he stood there immobile with all the others by his side. Edward appeared ready to attack as he glarred daggers at Jacob, who seemed completely unphased by his infintile behavior right now. Had the situation not been so dier and serious, one could find the humor in it all, but there was nothng funny about the cold and hostile looks from Rosalie and Emmett while they stood next to Edward.

It was clear they felt betrayed by my actions, though I was the one who had been lied to for years. I boldly held their stare and saw Esme cautiously approach first, her golden hued gaze still soft and inviting like it had always been when she addressed us both.

"Please, forgive us if we're coming too close to breaking the rules of the treaty. We understand that La'Push is not far off the border from here, but we had to see Bella for ourselves. We've been very worried for her welfare since Alice lost all sight of her and her future two days ago. She couldn't see anything about her future at all, and as you can imagine, it had us in panic mode. That's why we came, but clearly, we see with our own eyes what brought on the sudden disappearance of her future now. She's one of you. Part of your pack now?"

"Traitor." Rosalie hissed, her fiery look causing a fierce growl to spill from Jacob.

"That's enough, Rosalie! I'll have none of that! Do you understand me? We will treat Bella with the kind of decency and respect we always have." Esme harshly scolded.

"I don't understand how this is possible?" Alice questioned, her timid gaze looking between Jacob and myself several times before she dared to make a single move. "Has he done something to you against your will, Bella? Something that could trigger the fever?"

Jacob roared menacingly and moved hastily in front of me, his wolf form damn near vibrating and his muzzle pulled back from his barred teeth.

This was already getting out of hand. Their asinine assumptions and accusations making Jacob riled up. That was the game, after all. They were playing with him and I was done with being silent. Done with being toyed with. I drew back from Jacob, hearing his advice from before on how to phase back. How I needed to focus solely on my desire to be on two legs again, back in human form, and let my bodies instincts do the rest. I calmed myself the best I could, my gaze focused on Edward as my fur began to rapidly vanish from me, returning to the pale white skin as I began to phase back before them. In mere seconds, I was on two legs and completely naked in front of them all. I felt no shame or embarrassment as I stalked forward with determination in my every solid step. I didn't bother to cover myself when I came face to face with Edward, his eyes widening in disbelief as he tore off his coat and tried to wrap it around me.

"Love, here take this."

His words made the white hot anger return and I struggled to stay human, as the fire weaved it's way steadily through my every limb. Jacob stepped forward in response, his growl ceasing when I began to speak. He did have my back and I trusted him completely.

"I am not your love, Edward! Those days are over. You've deceived me countless times and how dare you pull such an ass move! Having a restraining order served on Jacob like some spineless jerk! What is wrong with you!? Can't you just do the decent thing and let me go!? Don't you think I deserve happiness?"

"You were happy! If he had-" Edward hissed back in return, lurching down and bringing us nose to nose. The smell of him alone was revolting and my insides crawled at his close proximity.

"Stop! I told you before why I came back here. Jacob didn't coax me into anything! He had no part of that choice for me! He was not the influencer like you've been our whole marriage. It was a lie from the beginning, Edward! You manipulated me into seeing what you wanted me to and now you're angry because I finally have my own voice. You knew Jacob imprinted on me before we got married. Before you went to Volterra!"

"I kept it from you for your own good!"

Jacob huffed furiously behind me in response to this and I stood my ground, knowing he was barely finding the strength to keep himself from charging Edward.

"For my own good!? You never had the right to keep that from me! You took away my choice! Can't you see how wrong that is?"

"I did it because I only wanted what was best for you and because I love you." Edward desperately replied.

"What you did isn't an expression of love, Edward. It's control." I angrily insisted.

"I've never controlled you-" He haughtily countered.

"How can you even say that to me with a straight face!? I finally understand now why it was that you were always trying to keep me away from Jacob. Why you meddled at every chance you had. Even going as far as to mess with my old truck at Charlies! So I wouldn't be within arms reach of him. It was because you knew the truth. You knew about the imprint and how much he needed me, but you selfishly continued to scheme new ways of keeping me for yourself. You stole years away from me that I can't get back and you were going to change me. Make me like you, even though you knew it could kill Jacob as a result. I always believed that you had a soul, Edward, but I don't think that anymore. No one with a real soul could do some of the things you've done, all for selfish gain and at the expense of everyone else."

I felt winded when I was done with my rant to him, my emotions trying to make me weak, but I pushed past them and stared the rest of my former family down. My gaze soon landed on Alice and I approached her next. My words laced with anger when I yelled.

"I trusted you and you betrayed me! Made me believe that we were really family. For months and months you saw what being away from Jacob did to me. You even cornered me one night to get me to confess my real feelings and you watched over him for me. You saw what his life was like back here without me and you lied to my face about it. How could you?"

"Bella, please! I didn't mean for it to be this way! I was only trying to do the right thing by both you and Edward." She weakly explained, but it only made me resent her all the more.

"Well, I guess like every other human, you can't have your cake and eat it, too." I spat back, my tears falling as I held her amber gaze and continued.

"Bella, I-..."

"I was empty, Alice. You knew how much I struggled with those feelings. What I couldn't understand. How many nights did we sit in your room and talk about the hell I was in? About the guilt I had for even feeling that way because I had chosen Edward? You never said a word to me about the imprint. Why didn't you care for my happiness enough to tell me the truth!?"

She shook her head back and forth before hanging it in shame, and I was almost certain that if she could still cry in this moment, she would have.

"There's nothing I can say to you that will excuse my behavior, Bella. When you married my brother, we had hopes you would forget Jacob with the change after the wedding. That your life would be full with all we had to offer you with us. As part of our family."

"Do you know how sick and twisted that sounds?" I gasped in horror to her. "How would you feel if someone tore Jasper from you? Deceived you into thinking that what you felt for him still was shameful and that it should be simply forgotten?"

She lifted her head and looked to a stoic Jasper who stood close to her side, his own gaze tormented at my words when it met hers.

"I tried to tell you both that this would happen." Jasper stated, glaring at Edward in menacing fashion, like he wanted to attack him. "...but you wouldn't hear anything of it. Instead, you coaxed Alice into your plan and made her feel obligated to help you because of her closeness with Bella."

"Shut up, Jasper. You have no idea what you're talking about!" Edward snapped back, as he continued to glare at Jacob. The two of them now locked in some kind of silent shouting match with their minds. I cringed as I thought of what Jacob was revealing to him through his thoughts, an advantage he definitely had to use at his exposal right now. Edward appeared to be haunted, his eyes forming into black slits as they narrowed further at Jacob.

Shit was about to get real and Jacob wouldn't go down without a fight. He'd been waiting for this blow with Edward for years and now he was finally about to get his chance. We were vastly outnumbered and I backed away from Alice then while the heated tensions grew. The sudden sound of an alarming howl then echoed out around us and made the Cullen's nervously look to one another.

We weren't alone. Not by a long shot.

Paul made it to us first, his head hung low to the ground, and his growling loud when he took his rightful place beside Jacob. They exchanged a loaded look and while I couldn't hear their thoughts right now, it was clear that Paul was hungry for this fight, just like Jacob was.

I could feel Alice's inquisitive gaze on me, as she tilted her head and grew frustrated at the lack of information she had. She could no longer see me the way she used to, and I watched her expression turn angry when she tried harder.

I was like a puzzle she couldn't solve and some part of me got a sick thrill out of this.

It wasn't long before Sam, Jared, Embry, Seth, Quil, Collin and Brady all surrounded Jacob. Each of them snarling and causing him to use his command to keep them in line, but none of them wanted to remain still. Jacob did well to keep them contained as they all looked to me.

Great... now the whole damn pack had got a birds eye view. I was too angry with the Cullen's to even care right about now and when Carlisle approached me next, I turned my angry glare on him.

"I can understand why you're so upset about this, but there are reasons we kept the imprint from you. Alice had a vision years ago, after the battle with the newborns that Victoria had created to seek out her vengeance against you. She saw Jacob in the meadow with Laurent, when the imprint first happened, and she saw the fever take hold of you the way it has now. This is what clued her in to Edwards deception. He'd skillfully kept in hidden from her all that time. The truth is, your trip to see Renee back then was all a ruse to get you out of town for more that just Victoria. It was also because of what the threat on your life had brought out in Jacob."

I stared back at him in utter confusion, his words to me not making one bit of sense.

"What are you talking about? Brought what out in Jacob? Tell me what the hell that means." I demanded, catching how his gaze went to Sam and the others first, before returning to my own. Before I could say another word, Sam was in human form and standing beside me, his angered tone fierce and unforgiving when he spoke to Carlisle.

"You're trying to stir shit up. Cut the damn games." He nearly yelled, before turning himself to look at me. "Bella, you're family to us, and I'm not gonna keep anything from you. What the doc here is referring to is how Edward manipulated you into taking that trip to Florida to see Renee, so that you wouldn't be here when Jacob came to tell you the truth about the imprint. We had chased that redheaded leech for weeks. She would purposefully bounce back and forth between lands. We pulled double shifts to try and keep ahead of her with no avail, and having her that close to you, without knowing that she was trying to kill you at the time, brought out a change in Jacob. In the wolf. He challenged me for Alpha and we fought for it. The whole thing wasn't pretty, but we found peace with each other and moved past it. He was going to tell you the truth, but when he went to Charlie's, you were already at Renee's. Edward made a play he knew would work and it did. In his favor. As always."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My very skin heating as I whipped my head toward Carlisle again.

"So all of you played a vital part in lying to me. Well, the joke is really on me. We were never a family. I was just a pawn in your insane game to keep Edward happy and me clueless. Do you have any idea what Jacob has been through!? What your selfish actions have caused for him?"

"I got a pretty good view of it all." Edward ignorantly sneered. "Nice to know you're just another notch on the old Blacks belt, huh? I can smell him all over you! Here I was thinking that if you gave it up to him once, he'd get his fill and move on! Guess I vastly underestimated the drive of a wolf!"

The ground beneath us shook as a deafening roar came from Jacob then, his charge of attack so fast that it made my hair blow from the rush of wind that it brought with it when he ran full tilt for Edward. The two of them collided mid air with a noise that made the very blood in my veins go ice cold.

**A/N: Ah! I know! What a place to end it! But don't worrry, there will be more tomorrow! I wanted to get another chapter up before heading into work! Thank you so very much for all the great reviews! I love them all and appreciate every one of you for taking the time to ready my story! Please let me know your thoughts in a new review! I look forward to hearing from you! HAPPY READING! Till Next Time :-)**


	38. Chapter 38

**CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT**

**(JPOV)**

His last comment had been the final straw for me and I lunged for him on instinct, ready to rip his granite throat out, but the sound of Bella's shrilling scream the moment we made contact with each other, forced me to halt the attack.

"No! Don't! Please!"

I plowed Edward into the ground, his concrete hit to my side breaking at least two ribs and only further pissing me off. I kept him pinned there beneath my paws, snarling and snapping just inches from his face. I recognized the fear in his blackened eyes and I wanted to make him pay for what he'd done to Bella. For the years of deceit he'd fooled her with. I hated him for the time he'd stolen like the true parasite he was. Ending his pathetic existence would be doing this world a huge damn favor.

"Jacob!" Bella shrieked again when Edward landed another hit to my muzzle, the force knocking me back and making the crimson red drip steadily from the resulting gash. I looked her way, seeing her gasp of breath that vapored out into the frigid air, as she nervously held her hands out in front of her. I saw the tremors forcefully take hold and before Sam could phase back and get to me, she was back on all fours. A blur of white flew past us, before she landed in front of me with a fierce roar to Edward.

Sam halted his advance and the rest of the pack became riled up in response to her seething anger.

Edward got to his feet and stared back at her in disbelief when Esme took hold of his arm, forcefully yanking him back. "We don't want this! Have you lost your mind? Are you really prepared to fight her instead of giving her what she wants!? This madness is how you want this to end?"

"She wouldn't-" He arrogantly stated, testing the limits with a satisfied smirk as he headed my way faster than I could follow with my wolf gaze. He flew up into the tall tree behind us and towered confidently at the top.

_"He's fucking toying with you."_ I warned Bella, her wolf frame shaking with fury as she inched herself closer to me with a violent snarl.

_"He hurt you!"_

Edward flitted from tree to tree, our eyes watchful as he continued on with his game.

"We want no part of this." Carlisle cautioned. "This is not our fight."

Bella huffed his way as the pack gathered around us, each of them circling the territory when Edward suddenly dropped down from the furthest tree and glared our way. His movements were fast and when he came at me, he missed and collided with an already pissed Paul. The pack roared and Paul fought back, their two shapes blurring, as Edward desperately tried to gain the upper hand in the scuffle. He managed to get his vice like grip around Paul's middle and with an agonized whine, Paul struggled to get out of it. I charged out around Bella and plowed into him head on, knocking him off and feeling two more of my ribs crack on the other side from the force of the impact into him. It was like smashing into fucking concrete. Bella's thoughts were equally terrified when they rang out clear to me through the pack mind.

_"Jacob! He's not gonna give up!"_

_"That makes fucking two of us._" I replied, avoiding two more of his fierce blows, and knocking back into him when he lunged for me a third time. I was eager for the fight and accepting of his silent challenge when he locked eyes with me, and struck the left side of my head. The ringing in my ears was louder than anything I'd ever heard, and I watched with sick satisfaction, as the fear crept into his porcelain face when I didn't back down from the heavy blow. Fresh fire licked it's way up my spine and seeped into my legs then, my muzzle catching his hand and ripping a piece of it clean off.

I was done with his games.

He'd taken her from me on purpose. Screwed with her head and taken away her choices. Tried to manipulate her into becoming like him, eternally separating her from everyone she loved. From Charlie and Renee... _and from me_. I wanted him to be nothing more than ash and smoke in the sky.

We ended up down toward the river, his gaze as black as the night when he hissed and struck me again. I was numb to the pain. My drive to end him overtaking any other physical ailment in my body right now. Both the Cullen's and the pack watched while we rolled into the edge of the rivers current, my fur soaked and his hair slicked down into his haunted eyes.

"How can you choose this over me?" He shouted in rage to Bella. "Choose him? Carlisle, there has to be something you can do? Some way to make this stop! She isn't meant to be one of them! She's meant to be one of us!"

"Bella has chosen what she wants in her life, and you know I will not interfere any further than what we already have. You need to let this go and leave her alone. Let her be happy." Carlisle clarified, his golden gaze tormented in a way I'd never witnessed.

"She's my singer." Edward insisted in a vile hiss.

"No, Edward. She is Jacob's imprint. You knew this was coming. How long did you think you could keep this act up? She's been growing restless now for months. You knew she was slowly but surely pulling away from us."

That's when everything changed, his maneuver unforeseen when he hurled himself through the air and wrapped his arms around my neck. I saw it coming, but not in time to block it, and I knew he had just gained the upper hand he was trying to get this whole time. I prepared to fight back, to not go down until I didn't have any breath left in my body, but his death grip never came. I stood there immobile and convinced I was seeing things. That maybe his hard blow to my head from before had done more damage than I originally thought, but no matter how many times I huffed and shook my head, trying to rid the illusion, he remained there in front of me. His granite arm halted in the air only inches from my muzzle and his face contorted in anger.

I looked up to where the pack was standing, their wolf gazes all looking to one another in confusion and shock, as Bella stood there in front of them naked. Her human form trembling with effort and her eyes sharply focused in on Edward and myself. In a moments notice, the Cullen's were by his side, and whatever hold was on Edward was immediately released, and he fell limply to the forest with an alarmed expression.

Carlisle tried to force him to leave with the rest of them, but he was barely moving as he looked to Bella. His parting words to her making me see red.

"I always knew you were different. Unique in your abilities, and you always believed that I had a soul, right? Well, whatever piece of one I may have had left, you just ripped it out. I won't be responsible for what havoc that brings forth. If there's bloodshed. It'll be on your hands, Bella."

With that, they all vanished with delirious speed, leaving an unsettled feeling in their wake. Bella hadn't stayed in human form for long, and I marveled at how graceful the change back had been for her this time around.

_"What the fuck just happened and what did he mean by that?!"_ Paul furiously demanded. _"I say we chase his ass down and end this right now. So we know he can't come back and pull some other kind of shit on our lands."_

_"No, that wouldn't be a good idea. We're matched here in numbers and the elders still have no idea what's happened with Bella. That takes priority right now. Plus, we'll need their alliance, along with the councils support, if he does come back."_ Sam replied.

_"When he comes back, you mean."_ I hedged, brushing along Bella's side when I soon joined her next to Sam. She was still intently focused on the place where they had all taken off into the dense fog, and I struggled to make sense of what she had just done for me.

She'd stopped him. Blocked him even and she was nowhere near me at the time.

_"He's going to Volterra."_ Bella soon timidly stated and I felt the alarm wash over the packs mind from her words.

_"You know that for sure?"_ Sam asked, stepping in front of her with his towering form.

_"I'm almost certain. You all have to be ready for that. I mean, we all have to be ready."_ She clarified with a solid huff. _"He will go to that length to have me. He knows if he uses the Volturi and the promise I made to them, they'll do all his dirty work for him. They won't just let this go. I swore I would become a cold one. They'll seek vengeance out on everyone who gets in the way, Sam. There's too many of them to even count and I don't know when to expect them, because I don't have Alice's visions like before. We're blind."_

Sam looked to me and nodded toward the path that led to the Lumber Yard, his response immediate and firm.

_"We're meeting them in less than an hour, and we will tell them everything about the Volturi, and what could be coming for this land and our people."_

_"They could cover us twice in depth, Sam."_ Jared worriedly stated.

_"We're not going to think like that, right now. We focus on the meeting first, and we give them all the information we have. They'll instruct us from there. Jacob, what do you think about asking some of the elders to rejoin us? So our numbers are better?"_ Sam proposed, his wolf gaze seeking mine.

_"I think it's a good idea, but I don't know that they'll go for it. A lot of them are worn out, Sam. Some of them haven't phased in years. This may be asking too much. All we can do is ask."_

_"We can take those leeches."_ Paul huffed. _"They won't know what hit em'! Especially with Bella! I don't know what the hell that was, but it was awesome! You're a way cooler she wolf than Leah!"_

_"Don't be cocky, Paul."_ Sam warned._ "There's no place for that. If what Bella says is true. We could be in for a far worse battle than we were with the Newborn army and not all of us came out of that one intact, remember?"_

I saw Bella visibly cringe at this and I lowered my head to her level, gently nudging into her when she whined. She knew what we were up against, as did I.

_"Let's get a move on toward the meeting. We don't want to be late and keep them waiting."_

I followed closely behind Bella as we headed straight for the Lumber Yard where the Elders and the Council would be waiting for us to arrive, my mind running over Edwards attack again and how she had saved my ass. I would never admit this to her, because it would make her afraid, but if he'd gotten his arms around me the way he had Paul, he would've finished what he started. I saw it plainly in his gaze, he was blood thirsty for the kill and Bella had been the force to stop him.

I was so fucking confused about what all this meant and a little worried, but more than that, I was damn proud of her. No matter what we were coming up against.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please leave a review and tell me your thoughts! xoxo Till Next Time.**


	39. Chapter 39

**CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE**

**(BPOV)**

The meeting had gone long and we left more discouraged than when we had initially arrived. No one had the answers we needed and the council's only solid reasoning was that my change had been brought on by the imprint somehow. Something that they had never encountered before I happened. They acted puzzled and their disbelieving expressions made me know they wouldn't be of much help like we'd hoped. Jacob was irritated with them to say the least, and Sam had to step in between him and the council on more than one occasion. He was heated from the lack of information and I struggled myself not to let my emotions take over. I needed to know why the fever had affected me when I wasn't in the bloodline like Jacob was. By the time we made it back to Jacob's, both of us were in desperate need of a shower and some sleep.

Charlie was just pouring himself another cup of coffee when we barged back into the house. Jacob had taken a spare pair of cut offs with him but I was fresh out of luck. I waited for him to toss me some sweats through the half open door before we greeted Charlie.

"Here, honey. Throw these on."

I quickly dressed and joined them in the kitchen, my fathers face falling when he noticed my weary expression.

"Things didn't go as planned?" He questioned.

"No, not exactly. They didn't offer us much of an explanation!" Jacob tensely replied, half throwing the empty coffee mugs into the sink with a heavy sigh.

"Well, they have to know more, right? Are they holding out for some reason?" Charlie countered.

"I can't see why they would be. We need more answers than what they gave us."

"Your old man has been calling here, Jacob. I think he's getting a ride from Sue to drop by soon."

"Good, we need to have a sit down anyway."

I felt my blood heat at the very idea of going over everything with my father. Having to explain it all felt overwhelming for me. Jacob saw my fallen expression and wrapped an arm around my waist, his hold a comfort for me as the sound of a truck's engine roared from outside.

"That'll be them now." Charlie huffed, crossing the kitchen and glancing outside to see Sue helping Billy into his chair.

"It will be okay." Jacob whispered, his dark gaze seeking mine when the front door opened.

"I hope so."

Billy's look was troubled when he entered the house, his face pale and bereft of all color. He and Charlie exchanged a loaded glance, as sue wheeled him up to the table and sat down next to him there.

"Thank you for bringing him here, Sue." Jacob offered up to her in appreciation.

"Of course. It was no trouble." She replied to him with a genuine smile.

"I'm sorry things came out to you the way they did, Charlie." Billy softly said, his gaze glossy and making my own tears well up at the sight of his humbled regret. "You have to believe me when I tell you that I didn't want it to happen this way. It's been hard for me to keep this kind of secret from you all this time."

"Not as hard as it was for me to find out you'd been lying to me." Charlie irritably stated to him in return. "I had no idea what the hell was happening to Bella or what had already happened to Jacob. How could you keep that all from me?"

"I didn't have a choice."

"I want to know everything. No matter how ugly. So spill it." Charlie eagerly demanded.

Billy let out a heavy sigh and looked to Jacob as he began with his truth.

"Legends have been more to me than just stories that I told around a good campfire. They are all true, Charlie. Jacob is a wolf. He first phased shortly after he and Bella got close, when the Cullen's first left. All that time I told you and Bella he was sick, it was to cover up what was really going on with him. I didn't know when it would happen, but the timing seemed right and it was hell on Jacob and I to keep silent about it. Especially when he loved your girl already."

I felt Jacob place a kiss into my hair when Billy stated this and I watched my father's face harden all the more in response.

"... keep going."

"The Cullen's, Edward and his family, they are dangerous because their predators to these lands. Their kind was never meant to live among our own."

"Their kind-..." Charlie hedged, crossing his arms over his chest with a confused look.

"Yes, Charlie. Their Vampires."

All the color drained from my face and Jacob tightened his hold on me, when Charlie pushed himself away from the counter and glared at the two of us.

"What the hell kind of trickery are you trying to pull here?"

Billy shook his head and reached out a hand to Charlie, but my father hastily pulled away from him.

"It's not a trick or a lie. It's the truth, Charlie."

"Vampires aren't real! They are made up! All of them just a fictional character for movies and books and-" Charlie shouted.

"Dad, stop it!" I asserted from across the room, leaving Jacobs side and yanking up the oversized sleeve of his sweatshirt to show Charlie the crescent shaped scar on my wrist. "Look! Does this look fake to you! I was bitten by one! By a tracker! His name was James."

Charlie stepped closer and his gaze narrowed as he snatched up my wrist to get a good look for himself. I saw the horror slowly seep into his face as he further examined the uniquely shaped scar.

"You- you're telling me that you were-..."

"Yes. Bitten." I boldly declared. "Everything that Billy just told you is the truth. I promise you. It's not a lie."

He released my arm and stared down at me in shock.

"You knew what he was?"

"Yes." I admitted.

"... and you still chose to be with him!" Charlie roared furiously, his frame shaking with anger that made his cheeks flush with heated color. "What is wrong with you! How could you do that!?"

I flinched back from his shouting, my eyes watering and my own face falling in shame for my prior actions.

"I was wrong. I know. For keeping everything from you and-"

"All that time with him and you lied to me? You knew what a vile monster he and his whole family was and you tried to convince me to like the guy!? I should have put a damn bullet in him when I still had the chance! When he abandoned you in the woods! I walked you down the aisle to a killer, Bella!"

I shrunk back further away from him, until I felt Jacobs firm chest press against me, his mere presence reminding me that I could face my fathers anger and that he still deserved the truth.

"You didn't know and I'm sorry for that."

"What else have you lied to me about? Huh? I'm a cop for shits sake! How did I not see this?"

I swallowed firmly and squared my shoulders, summoning up the courage to meet his infuriated glare with my own. "My trip to Italy. The one you grounded me for. Years ago. I went to save Edward."

"You took off without a word and I feared the dam worst for you for two days! You went after him? After he left you alone in the dark woods?!"

"Yes, he was going to end his life and-..."

"You should've let him! Cause from the sounds, it would have saved yourself a whole lot of trouble!"

I went silent at this, my eyes avoiding his as he shook his head and looked to Jacob.

"...and you knew all about this, son? Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't my place then, Charlie." Jacob calmly explained. "... and I did try to stop Bella from going to Italy to save Edward but it didn't work. She didn't see reason at the time."

I inwardly shuddered as I recalled the way Jacob had practically begged me not to go, his young face so full of sheer disappointment and heartbreak when I drove off with Alice that night. If I had been smart, I would have listened to him.

"How can I trust you? Any of you?" Charlie sighed, looking around the room with defeat.

"Charlie, I know you're upset and you have a right to be, but deep down, you have to still know how much we all care about you. That we would never keep something this important from you unless it was absolutely necessary." Sue added, her soft tone making some of my fathers anger dissipate now.

The room was briefly silent as Charlie pondered all this, his hands tightly gripping the table for support as he hung his head.

"You don't lie to the people you love. You just don't do that kind of shit." Charlie soon huffed.

"Dad, please don't be angry. What Sue said is true. I'm so sorry!" I cried, going to him when he tried to leave. "Please... can you just stay and listen."

"I'm sorry, too Bella. I thought we'd built something since you came back."

"We have!" I cried to him in protest.

"No, we haven't! Not like I thought. I failed you in so many ways when you were just little and as hard as it was for me when you first came back, I owned those mistakes and I had hoped we could move on from them and grow close. But all this time, everything's been a damn lie and I don't know what to do with that."

He stormed off with those parting words and I went after him, despite Jacobs warning behind me.

"Honey, don't-..."

"Dad, stop! Please!" I yelled to him in the frigid air.

"I need to be alone for a while, Bella." He yelled back, hurriedly heading for his cruiser.

I reached out for him, taking hold of his arm and trying to stop him from going.

"I need you in my life, dad." I admitted, my tears feeling frozen on my cheeks when he slowly turned and looked my way again. "I missed you when we were apart. I didn't want things to be estranged with us like they were for so long. I know it was wrong that I lied to you and if I could take it back, I would! You have nothing but the truth from me now. I promise. No more lies or secrets. Please, give me the chance to prove it."

Charlie struggled to say anything as he stared back at me with tears in his eyes. The sight of it leaving me more guilt ridden than before.

"Bella, you're my only child. My only little girl and I will love you always, but I can't ignore all the lies. I don't know what hurts me worse. The fact that you lied to me in the first place, or that you didn't trust me enough, as your father to tell me the damn truth."

I begged him not to go then, but he didn't listen and when his cruiser was out of sight, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I watched his taillights steadily disappear as a sob tore from me. I had hurt him worse than I feared and it left me numb as I stood there.

**A/N: Thank you so much for your patience with me! I know it's been too long since my last update! BUT there will be another chapter posted tonight! Yes, I am spoiling you all! :-) Please tell me your thoughts on this chapter in a review!**


	40. Chapter 40

**CHAPTER FORTY**

**(JPOV)**

Bella's silent tears continued to fall long after Charlie had left and the sight of her hurting the way she did, made my throat tighten and my chest ache. We had high hopes that he would've been more understanding of it all, but his reaction was justifiable. Even I saw that now. He'd been kept in the dark for a long time and that was a hard pill for him to swallow.

She was sitting by the window in the kitchen, her gaze glued to the frosty window pane there and looking for any sign of Charlie's cruiser to return. It was hard for me to watch and even harder for me to accept the fact that I couldn't do anything to help her right now. Charlie needed time and space, and I worried what that would do to Bella in the meantime. She needed him to forgive her and that was something that none of us could force.

Billy hadn't spoken a word since Charlie had taken off either and when Sue offered him a plate of warm meatloaf I'd made, he simply shrugged and shoved it away, without so much as taking a single bite. I didn't like the way his color looked or how he winced when he moved a certain way. He was stiff and hurting, and stubborn as the day is long.

I soon crouched down in front of him, holding the forgotten plate of food out with a fork. "Please eat something. You don't look well."

"I don't feel well! That's what happens when your best friend walks away from you. I should've known this would happen! That he wouldn't be able to see past the lie. What the hell did I really expect? I want to go home, Sue. Please just take me the hell home?"

I slid the plate back on the table with a defeated sigh and still tried to get him to see reason.

"Dad, you can't not eat! You know what happens when you-..."

"I'm a grown ass man. I know what could happen and I'm not hungry! So let it be!" He angrily replied.

Sue cleared her throat and nodded toward Bella, before leaning herself in closer to me with her whispered words of encouragement and wisdom.

"Why don't I take him home and make him something warm there? That way he can settle in and you can be here for Bella. She hasn't moved from that spot for almost two hours. It will be dark out soon and we both know that Charlie isn't coming back here tonight. If none of us hear from him by the morning, then I'll stop over and try to make him come around."

I nodded to her in understanding and thanked her, as she slowly wheeled dad out to the truck. When I had finished helping her settle him in the front seat, he barely had it in him to look at me and I hugged him tightly anyway. "This wasn't your fault, dad. Charlie will come around. Believe in the friendship you've built with him. I'll see you in the morning."

They took off down the road and I waved to them, as the back of Sue's truck vanished from sight. I paused for a moment by the front door, looking heavenward as the stars began to shine brightly from above me. My whispered request leaving my lips as I thought of mom. "Be with dad, tonight. He needs you. I know you're up there watching over us, so please, let him know he's not alone right now."

I gathered up the large pile of fire wood from the porch and went back inside, swiftly tossing one of the logs into the drafty fireplace and lighting it to bring some needed warmth into the living room. I sighed and watched the flame grow, my mind racing over Bella's exchange with Charlie. She had said all the right things and she'd been as honest with him as she could've. The rest of this outcome was up to him now. The broken voice that came from behind me then sounded so lost and alone.

"Why do I ruin everything I touch? Can you tell me why? What the hell is wrong with me, Jacob?"

I turned her way, seeing the pain in her doe eyes and I ached to take it from her. I wanted to see those eyes that I loved, the ones that held my very soul and future in them, light up with a beautiful smile the way they had before.

"You don't, sweetheart. Don't say that." I assured her.

"...'but I do." She tearfully countered. "All of this is my fault. My mess. If I had been honest with him from the beginning, none of this would have happened. He wouldn't feel so hurt or left out of everything like he does."

"You couldn't tell him the truth then, Bells. No more than Billy could share our secret with your father until now. You can't blame yourself for that. This was beyond your control or mine. Do you remember how much I wanted to tell you the truth when I came to your room all those years ago? After I'd first joined the pack and you were convinced Sam had me in some kind of gang? Remember how I tried to tell you? It's the same thing here, honey. Dad had a responsibility to keep silent about it and he did well to keep it from Charlie all this time."

"I do remember. That feels like forever ago now, but it's still true that I always cause so much damn trouble. Look at what I did to you. Look at the pain I caused for you, Jacob. All because I wasn't honest with you or myself from the start."

"You were worth every ounce of that pain for me. Worth the wait." I fiercely replied, holding her guilt ridden gaze and thinking back to how being without her had nearly been the fucking end for me.

Her arms began to wrap around her middle then and I stopped her, my hands halting her motions as I drew her body into mine.

"You don't have to do that anymore, honey. You're so much stronger than that. We're stronger than that together. You and me."

She nodded and wrapped her arms around me instead, my lips barely brushing against her cheek and catching her tears that continued to fall.

"He loves you. He'll come back." I assured her in a breath.

"What if he doesn't? What if he can never trust me again?"

"I don't believe that will ever happen."

"...-but you don't know..."

"Neither do you, honey. What I do know is that Charlie loves you. More than anything else in this world. He will be back. When he's ready."

"How do you do that?" She timidly asked, pressing herself closer to me as the fire blazed on behind us.

"Do what?"

"Know the right thing to say all the time?"

"I try."

"You do more than try. You just know somehow. You always have." She contentedly sighed.

I moved her hair out of her face and held her close, my eyes searching hers with my reply.

"I hope I always know you better than anyone else, honey."

She leaned her head on my shoulder, her eyes closing briefly, as my hand took hers and laced our fingers together. The two of us began to sway there, the sound of the crackling fire becoming our own music while we slow danced. The familiarity of it made me pause and look down, just as she raised her head to me with a tired smile.

"Are we dancing?"

I simply nodded and kissed her forehead. "I like this dance much better than the last one."

"Me too." She softly admitted, her lips barely ghosting over my bare shoulder as I continued to lead her in this silent dance of our own.

"There's no music, but I think I like it that way better."

"I hear the music. It's in the beat of your heart, honey. It's the best sound or melody I've ever heard. Nothing can compare to it."

She looked up at me with an awed expression, her cheeks beginning to stain with the color of her blush from her nerves now.

"You still make me so nervous, Jacob Ephraim."

"Well, I guess that we're even then." I softly countered, inching closer to her sweet lips with my own.

"How do you figure that?" She curiously whispered to me in return.

"...because you still take my breath away every time I see you."

She slowly shook her head to me in disbelief and I pressed her body tightly to mine in response, so she could feel just how much she affected me. Her warm gasp of breath touched my lips when she stilled in my arms, her head tilting back slightly and her heart now racing within her chest.

"Jacob-..."

"No one will ever make me feel the way you do. You're it for me, honey. My end and my beginning. For the rest of my days. It's you and only you."

I brought my lips to hers, our kiss slow and deep and her taste touching every sense I had and making me want more of her.

**A/N: Hi again all my wonderful readers! Here is the promised second update of the evening! Please look for another tomorrow and leave your thoughts in a review if you'd like :-) Till Next Time! HAPPY READING!**


	41. Chapter 41

**CHAPTER FORTY-ONE**

**(BPOV)**

It was well past midnight when Jacobs cell phone rang, the loud and sudden sound jolting us both awake. I reached for it and tried to move out of Jacobs hold, but he was barely moving himself, his arms tightening around my waist when I inched myself closer to his nightstand. He'd been exhausted lately. After the fourth ring, he opened his eyes and I pulled myself out of his hold, snatching up the cell and quickly handing it to him.

"Here, it's yours. You should take it. Could be important." I sleepily stated.

Jacob ran a hand over his tired face and slowly sat up, the screen displaying Sue's name while it continued to ring.

"Sue?" He answered, reaching over to switch on the bedside lamp. "Wait... slow down. I can't understand you...- What do you mean? Where are you?"

I drew myself in closer to his side when I heard the clear worry in his tone and wrapped the blankets tightly around my naked form.

"What's wrong?" I whispered to him, seeing the alarmed look he wore when he spoke to her.

"When did you get there? What did they say?"

Jacob got out of bed then and motioned for me to do the same, the scared look on his face making me follow suit without asking anymore questions. I grabbed my jeans and pulled them on as he ended the call.

"Alright... -okay. Yeah-... We'll be right there."

"Jacob, what's going on-"

"It's dad. He had a stroke. Sue's with him at the Hospital. She's waiting there for us." He hurriedly explained, ripping open his top drawer and searching for a clean shirt to throw on. His hands were shaking and he quickly grew frustrated, hauling out the entire wooden drawer with a curse before turning it upside down onto the bed. "I can't fucking find a damn shirt!"

I crossed the room, grabbing the first grey t-shirt I could get my hands on and holding it out in front of him. My heart was in my throat when he took it from me and swiped my truck keys from the dresser.

"What did she say? Is he-..." I began, afraid of what his answer would be.

"I don't know how bad it was. I don't- I don't know anything! We gotta' go! Right now!" He choked out, reaching for my hand and making a mad rush out of the house.

I threw open the drivers side door and jumped into my cold truck, seeing Jacobs confused expression when he looked to me.

"You're in no shape to drive!" I clarified. "Get in and I'll take us to the hospital."

The ride there was all a blur. I watched the darkened roadway ahead as my speed neared a new record for my old truck. Jacobs face was pale and his eyes glossy while I sped down the desolate highway at this late hour. When we reached the hospital, I barely had time to roll to a stop, before he threw his door open and bolted inside. I told him I'd be there as soon as I had parked, as he vanished from sight into the busy emergency room

I thought of my dad as I whipped into the nearest parking space available, my own hands shaking when I reached into my pocket and frantically dialed him, not caring about anything else but Billy right now. All the rest suddenly felt so meaningless and insignificant. What the hell did any of that matter? All of our differences and hurt feelings over lies that had to be told.

Billy was my fathers oldest and truest friend. There wasn't a single memory I had, when I was just a kid and spending the summers with Charlie, where Billy wasn't part of them. He was more than Charlie's best friend even. He was his family. He was his brother.

It only rang twice before he picked up and I nearly cried with relief when his stunned voice cut in through the other line.

"Bella?"

"Dad! I'm sorry, okay? I know you're angry and hurting still, but...-"

"What's going on? Are you alright? Have you been hurt or something?" He nervously asked.

"No, No. It's not me, dad. It's Billy."

There was a long pause on the other end and I heard the sharp intake of breath he took upon hearing this.

"What happened? Bella, just tell me!"

"I'm at the hospital here in Forks with Jacob. Sue called us and said he had a stroke. Please hurry and get here. I don't know anything about his status yet. Jacob just went inside to find out. It sounds bad, dad."

"Okay, Bella. I'll be right there. Just hold on. I'll get there as fast as I can." He replied, before ending the call with me.

I ran inside then, spotting Jacob along with Sue and Seth the moment I walked in through the entrance. Sue was in tears and she hugged Jacob as she sobbed.

"I tried. I really did. I knew he didn't look well when we left, but I had no idea, until he showed some of the symptoms, that he was having a stroke."

Seth's eyes were wide and red rimmed when they met mine and I reached out for him while Sue continued. His arm slipping around my shoulders and his head coming to rest against my own.

"I should have seen the signs before...-"

"It's okay, Sue. You did all you could and you got him here." Jacob replied, trying to console her.

"I called Charlie. He's on his way." I admitted to them, as a nurse approached and showed us all to the waiting room, explaining that the doctor would be out shortly with an update on Billy.

The minutes ticked slowly by and soon turned into hours. Charlie came running in, along with Sam and the rest of the pack, shortly after we had taken our seats. Jacobs patience was running out with every passing moment. He approached the front desk three times, asking for an update and when the doctor finally showed up, the grim look he wore took the breath from my lungs.

I listened as the doctor pulled Jacob aside and explained Billy's condition. His words settling over all of us with tangible weight.

"Mr. Black, your father had a major stroke. His heart is weakened and he's lost all function on the left side of his body. He's in a coma right now and we're still running an extensive amount of tests to further determine any future course of treatment for him. He's stable right now, but that could change. We're monitoring him closely and he needs rest for his body to try and heal from this. He will need extensive physical therapy and possibly surgery to repair some of the damage to his heart."

I took hold of Jacobs hand and held onto it tightly, as the doctor looked at the large group of us all waiting to see him.

"...-unfortunately, only those who are family are permitted to be in the room with him. One visitor at a time." He declared.

Jacob didn't move or even blink when the doctor looked to him expectantly, awaiting his answer of who here was family. I wrapped my arms around his waist and spoke up on his behalf then, my voice trembling with emotion with my words.

"Everyone here is family. We all love him."

The doctor reluctantly nodded then, taking in the size of some of the pack members who stood directly behind Jacob in support. I watched as his eyes widened in response.

"Alright, but one at a time only. The patient needs adequate rest now as I stated before. I will be sure to update you all periodically when we learn more. Please let the nurses at the front desk know if you need anything else."

Jacob still didn't budge when the old doctor walked away from us, his eyes locked onto the floor and his body rigid next to mine.

Sam placed a firm hand on his shoulder, his words kind and heartfelt.

"We'll be here for you, brother. Take all the time you need. When you're done seeing him, we can send Charlie in?"

Jacob merely nodded and I reached a hand out toward my dad before we headed for Billy's room.

"I'll be back out to get you soon." I sighed to my father and saw the tears in his eyes when he looked my way in response.

Billy was the glue that held us together and none of us were ready to lose him.

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this update and please tell me your thoughts in a review :-) Thank you so much for all the kind thoughts! Till Next Time. HAPPY READING!**


	42. Chapter 42

**CHAPTER FORTY-TWO**

**(BPOV)**

What do you say to someone when the loss they feel is so profound that every part of yourself physically hurts for them? How do you make that better?

I'd held Jacobs hand tightly as the morning faded and became the late afternoon, my eyes welling with tears whenever I would glance over to him. He was sitting right next to me, his eyes trained on the white hospital floor in Billy's room. His face was full of a tangible sadness, and he looked so lost when he raised his head and focused on the many different machines that were hooked up to his father. All of them carrying out a specific job to keep his body alive for him. In all the time I'd known Jacob, and after all we had been through together, this was by far the hardest for me to watch him endure. I struggled so many times to keep my own composure, especially when Charlie found the strength to come into the room. His gaze of sorrow matching Jacobs when the two of them looked to one another. You could've heard a pin drop when he slowly pulled up the only empty chair next to Billy's hospital bed and leaned over him with a heavy sigh.

"I know you can hear me, Billy. I know you're still in there and I guess I'm really going to be a selfish ass right now. Cause I'm not ready to say goodbye to you. Not yet. Not until we're both older and so senile we have to remind each other where we parked or what doctor appointment is coming up next for one of us. I don't want the last damn memory we have to be like we left things. I couldn't take that, Billy. So, I'm gonna say what I should've said to you before I took off from Jakes, like the stubborn and pigheaded man I can be sometimes. You're my very best friend. You're my brother. No matter what. I don't care about the rest of it. None of that matters anymore. The one thing that counts is you staying here with all of us." He paused then, his tears spilling over and making me unable to stem the flow of my own from the sight of his pain. His anguished gaze peered up to Jacob, and he reached out a hand toward him as he finished. "You have people in this room who love you. Who need you, Billy. You're not done on this earth yet. You still have so many things to teach your boy. He's not ready for you to go. So, please fight. Please don't give up and let go yet. We'll be here waiting for you when you open your eyes again and I promise, we can start over, you and I. We can rebuild the trust we lost. I'm sure of it, old friend."

Jacob suddenly released my hand and pulled away from Charlie and I, his face more pale now than before when he hurried out of the room. Charlie shot me a concerned glance and I placed a kiss to his cheek, before taking off after Jacob. He was fast and out of sight by the time I made it to the end of the long hall. I looked toward Sam and the pack, seeing them get to their feet when they saw me coming. Sam greeted me first, his hands reaching out for mine once I was within reach of him.

"Bella? Something change? Is he worse?" Sam nervously questioned.

"No, it's not that." I assured him. "He's the same right now. Charlie is still in there with him. But I can't find Jacob. He ran out of the room a second ago and I thought maybe he came this way to give you all an update?"

Sam shook his head and glanced around the crowded waiting room with worry clear in his gaze. "I haven't seen him since he went in to sit with Billy early this morning. He may have taken a walk. He probably just needed some fresh air outside. We'll keep an eye out for him and if you still can't find him, we'll go looking soon ourselves."

"Okay. Thank you, Sam. Thanks for being here."

"Of course. Anything you or Charlie need right now?"

"No, I don't think so. Dad just needs more time with him and I'm praying he gets it."

"So are we. We've all been saying our fair share of prayers around here. Paul's down in the Chapel Room. He's got a few candles lit in there with Embry. They've been in there for a while now." Sam earnestly countered.

"Do you think Jacob could be in there, too?"

"He could be. Definitely a possibility. Billy was always a man of faith. He believed in prayer."

"I never knew that." I replied, looking around the room once more for any sign of Jacob. "I'll come back in a bit. I need to find him."

"Sure, we'll all be here for you if you need something."

I hugged him briefly then and headed toward the main entrance of the hospital, my breath greeting the frigid air in a fog as I stepped out into its harsh and biting cold. The temperature had dropped substantially and I couldn't recall a time when it had been this arctic in the early Fall. It was certainly out of season for these parts. There were times in years past when we were lucky to see a white Christmas, instead of a green rainy one. I wrapped my arms over my middle, huddling into myself for some warmth, and taking note of how the cold didn't shock my system the way it used to. My skin's new heightened temperature warding most of it off now. I looked all around, checking both the benches that were placed by the automatic doors and heading toward the parking garage when I saw no sign of him there. I was beginning to worry more the longer I wandered around and couldn't find him. I soon dug out my cell phone and dialed him, but it went straight to his voicemail. I pulled my keys out of my coat pocket and headed for where I'd parked the truck hours ago, my pace becoming a jog as panic began to grip me.

Evening was fast approaching and I didn't want him alone right now. He needed to be surrounded by his family. By those who cared most for him. I paused then when I caught sight of my truck, the cab light on and signaling to me that he was in there, as the still small voice in my head rang out clear.

_He needs you._

I took a few timid steps forward, seeing the drivers side door open when I drew closer and drawing up short just as I reached the tailgate. He was on the phone with someone and the conversation was heated. I leaned against the back of the truck, listening to his pleading words.

"No-... you're not hearing me-... It is that bad this time, Rach! He's hooked up to a vent-... they don't know if he'll make it through another night or two...-" I jumped as he angrily hit the steering wheel and went on with the conversation. "...he could die, Rach! Book a flight and come home!...- no... -how can you say that!?… of course he'd want you there...- this isn't just about you. Think of mom and what she would have wanted...- I know she's gone!...-you're really okay with that? With me burying him alone?... yeah, I heard you and you've said that before... fine-... whatever-...if that's really how you want this to go but don't you dare call me crying with regret after this! I don't know why I expected any different from you!"

He threw the cell against the dash when he ended the call then and I stepped out from the dusky shadows of the setting sun.

"Damn it!" He cussed, his eyes fixed on the hospital straight ahead. I stilled there and felt the heavy grief wrap itself around me as I stared at him. Gone was the look of duty and fierce determination he normally wore for the pack, for the role he had rightfully stepped into years ago, and in it's place was a younger version of himself that I hadn't seen hardly any trace of since he'd first phased. Not since warm sodas and reckless bike riding down a long dirt road and not since his shoulders had been burdened with the kind of heavy weight that came with being part of a pack. Part of something his sixteen year old self hadn't seen coming and something I truthfully had feared at the time would prove to be too much for him. I'd been so wrong. He'd risen to that call and taken on the challenge, despite his younger age, and he'd done so with the strength and dignity most grown men didn't possess anymore.

A shudder ran up my spine and I trembled as I stepped forward, my eyes stinging when I saw the tears he fought to hide from me, roll unchecked down his cheeks. My heart felt as if it was made of glass and about to break while he sat there, looking so much like a lost little boy again. Like the way he did when his mother had been taken from him so young. I tentatively reached out for him, my hand barely touching his arm when he turned his head my way. His dark eyes glistening and dripping with tears from the grief that took hold of me when his gaze met mine. I'd never known such a helpless feeling could exist, until his gaze went back to the awaiting hospital and his breathing became labored, like he had just run a marathon. His body began to tremble, but not in the way I'd seen dozens of times when the tremors would take hold of him right before he phased. No- this was different. This was far worse. This was his every wall, the walls that he'd put in place to keep him strong all this time, collapsing in around him. Moment by moment and breath by breath, they all fell down in front of me. His chest heaved and the salty drops of his tears continued to drip from his chin and onto his shirt. He pressed his shaking hands against the steering wheel, gripping it firmly, as the raw emotion ripped it's way out of him in an angry sob.

All the times he'd been there for me and held me physically together when I thought for sure that my whole world was crashing in around me, raced frantically through my head. He'd been the reason I'd made it through one of the darkest times of my life, and when I felt like I was drowning in my own personal hell, he was there for me. He had never let me down. Just like he'd promised me all those years ago on the stairway at the theatre.

I pushed the truck door open further and went to him, my hands lifting his head and cradling his face, as he choked out his fearful truth.

"I'm not ready. I can't do this. How do I say goodbye to him?" He cried, his hands tugging me closer. "I don't want to do this."

He struggled to meet my gaze, his head hung low and appearing so vulnerable and afraid, as he leaned forward with another ragged breath.

I could feel his pain and it made my vision cloudy with fresh tears. The sound of his heartbreak worse than anything I'd ever heard before. Billy and Jacob had always been close. Even more so after Sarah had tragically passed. Charlie used to always say that where you found one, you'd likely find the other close by. I tried to keep it together, but was failing. I needed to be strong for him but I didn't even know how.

"It's not supposed to end this way. There are so many things I want him here for, Bells." He ground out, his voice shaking when he spoke.

"I know, Jacob. I'm so sorry."'

Even offering up such a meaningless sentiment felt like a betrayal somehow when it left my mouth.

He'd already lost his mother and if Billy didn't pull through, I wasn't sure he'd ever be the same again. The close father and son relationship he and Billy had always shared was special and it tore me in half to think of it being ripped away from him now.

"I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do?" He pleaded.

I climbed into the truck with him, coming to sit in his lap as my arms took hold of him. He burried his face into my shoulder and cried. His whole body still shaking with every choked sob that was forcefully ripped from him. I offered him the only words I could as he held onto me.

"I'll be here. You're not alone in this. I'm right here."

**A/N: I know this was a rough chapter. It was truly hard for me to write. I am sorry for the delay in the update as well. Thank you for the many kind reviews and please let me know your thoughts on this new chapter. Till Next Time... **


	43. Chapter 43

**CHAPTER FORTY-THREE**

**(BPOV)**

When Jacob and I returned to the hospital, we stayed in Billy's room for as long as we could, until the nurses kindly escorted us out when visiting hours were over. Jacob struggled to leave his side and I assured him that we could stay in the waiting room another night, so he could at least be close by if something should suddenly change with Billy's condition. Charlie had also offered to stay with us, his arm wrapping tightly around my shoulders when the nurse closed Billy's door and carried on with checking his vitals. I watched her face fall through the small window when she took her notes down on the clipboard in her hands, her eyes going to me once before she simply turned away to further record her findings for the on call doctor to look at later.

He wasn't getting better. He was slowly deteriorating and it was heartbreaking to watch.

Jacob hadn't eaten in hours on end and with his color still being so pale, I was beginning to worry for his welfare. He couldn't sit still for very long, his dark eyes haunted when they peered down the long hall toward his fathers room every so often. Sam did his best in trying to convince him to eat something, but Jacob had refused and shoved the sandwich he'd offered to him away with a nauseated expression.

"I can't even think about eating right now."

"You have to keep your strength up, Jacob. Billy would want you to be alright. To take care of yourself." Emily kindly reminded him, her sorrowful gaze lingering between the two of us, as I laced my fingers with his and tugged him into the corner of the waiting room.

"She's right. I know you can hardly stand to be away from him, but Billy needs you to be strong."

His cell phone rang then, startling the both of us, and he glared down at the lit screen with a dreadful and exhausted expression. I took note of whose name was flashing before us and reached out a hand for it.

"She's called me half a dozen times and I just can't deal with her right now. I don't fucking have it in me anymore." He sighed heavily, leaning his head against the wall and holding out the cell to me. I turned from him and took the call, my anger with her selfishness almost getting the better of me when I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Bella?"

"Yeah, Rachel. It's me, Bella."

"Where's my brother? I need to speak to him immediately."

"He's been in with your father most of the day and he's exhausted. Is there something you want me to tell him?" I hastily replied, my tone making her pause on the other end of the line. I wasn't doing a very good job of hiding how pissed off I was at her and I didn't care. She'd let both him and Billy down when they had needed her the most and I found her attitude despicable.

"Look, I know you're probably angry with me from before. I'm sure Jacob told you his side."

"No, I heard some of your conversation when you called earlier. Sorry- but there is just his side. He wouldn't paint you out to be something you're not. I'm pretty sure you know your own brother a lot better than that."

"There's a lot of this you just don't understand. Things that have happened between me and my family after mom passed that separated us all. It's not even important right now. I did some thinking after I got off the phone with Jacob and I realized he's right. I need to come home and see him. This could be my last chance and I don't want to blow it." She replied, her tone sounding genuine and sincere now.

"So, is that why you called? Are you coming back to Washington?" I countered, looking toward Jacob, who had sunk down to the floor with his back pressed against the wall and his head in his hands. "Cause I won't lie to you, if you're coming here to cause more hurt, then stay put. Please, don't do that to your brother. He's really hurting Rachel and he needs his family."

"I know. I'm not coming to cause any drama or to be selfish. It's time I grow up and face reality. Jacob took on everything after Rebecca and I left. He didn't have to, but he stepped up and did it and I'm grateful to him for it."

"Yeah, you're right. He didn't have to but that's just the kind of man your dad raised."

"Agreed." She softly replied. "I've tried countless times to get ahold of Rebecca still but I can't reach her. I've booked a flight for two hours from now and I'm ready to go home. I should be there before mid - morning tomorrow. Please let my brother know that I'm coming and that I'm sorry for being rude before. I'll be there... soon."

"Okay, I'll tell him for you. Have a safe flight and we'll see you in a few hours."

She ended the call and I headed back for Jacob, my eyes roaming over his tired face when I hunkered down there on the cold floor beside him.

"What did she want this time?" He reluctantly asked, his gaze looking to the commotion around us, as the many other families anxiously waited to hear any kind of news about their loved ones.

"She's boarding a plan in two hours and coming back to Washington." I stated, handing him his phone with half a smile.

"That's what she said?" He sighed, with a shake of his head.

"Yeah and she sounded serious about it. I don't think she's bluffing. Do you?"

"We'll see, won't we?"

"Do you want me to get you some coffee from the cafeteria? I could make a run to the coffee shop up the road? I don't think they close till eight."

"No, that's alright, honey. You've been here a long while. I'm sure you're ready to go back to Charlie's with him and get some sleep?" He timidly asked, his face falling when he looked toward the pack all gathered in the small waiting room chairs.

"I'm not going anywhere. You can't get rid of me that easily." I sighed, placing a kiss to his cheek and retaking his hand.

"You don't have to stay-..."

"Yes, I do. I love you and I'm gonna be here no matter what. I promise."

He threw an arm around my shoulders and kissed my temple, his whispered reply making me meet his sincere gaze.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Bells. I love you, too."

The many hours of the long night passed and Charlie grew more and more restless, his steady pacing just outside the waiting room, damn near wearing a hole in the floor before I went to him.

"Dad, want to take a walk with me or something? Maybe get some fresh air?" I offered, seeing Jacob cross the room and start a conversation with Sam and the others.

"I don't know if that would do me any good and to be honest, I don't want to leave the hospital. Just in case...-" He replied.

"Alright, but please at least try to get some rest in one of the chairs?"

"Have you sat in one of those rickety things? I'd have better luck catching some shut eye on the ground then sleeping there!" He huffed in agitation.

I nodded and wrapped my arms around him, our embrace tight as I tucked my head just under his chin.

"Do you think he'll make it?" I soon whispered, my tone shaky as I let my emotions show for the brief moment with him.

"I don't know, kiddo. Billy's a fighter. He always has been. You know, when your mom first took off with you years ago, he was the one who held me together. I was a real damn mess back then. Felt lost without you two. But Billy offered me to stay with him whenever it got too lonely at the house and I did just that. He housed me free of charge for weeks. I paid him back with getting groceries, but he hated that I even did that. He's always been such a big part of our lives. I don't want to think about him not being here this Thanksgiving or Christmas. Nothing would feel right without him and poor Jacob's already been through enough. Losing Sarah so young was awful. I worry for him, Bella. I really do. You need to be there for him. All this shit with Edward can wait. That prick will get what's coming to him soon enough."

"I won't be going anywhere. I'm here for you too, you know?"

"I appreciate that, kiddo." He sincerely replied.

"I wish there was more I could do." I admitted, seeing Sam pull Jacob into a tight brotherly hug. The pack gathered around him, all of them placing a hand on his back with their offered words of encouragement to him. It was touching to see and made me remember just how much of a family they were to one another.

Paul soon approached us, his eyes glossy and red rimmed. I let go of Charlie and stared up at him as he took hold of my hand.

"I'm heading to town. I'm gonna open the bar for a special late hour donation call. We've done it before for families on the Res that's lost loved ones or had a house fire. It always brings the community together and it helps alleviate some of the financial burden for a hospital stay like this. I know Jacob is worried how he's gonna pay for it all. I figure it's the least I can do. I already called in the wait staff. We'll be open from now till midnight."

I couldn't help but marvel at just how much Paul had changed in the past five years. He was, by far, the most matured in the pack since I'd left.

"That a great idea, Paul." Charlie sighed, reaching in his back pocket to retrieve his wallet, and handing him a crisp fifty dollar bill. "Here, I'll start it off. I hope they can add a lot more to it by the time midnight rolls around."

"Thanks, Charlie. That's my hope, too." Paul countered, pulling me into a brief hug and shaking my fathers hand. "Please let me know if anything changes with him. Anything at all. I'll have my cell on and you have the bars number?"

"Yeah, sure do. I'll keep you updated. Bella or I will call if something does change. Good or bad." Charlie assured him with a nod, as he headed for the darkened outdoors.

"Sounds good. I'll be back before daylight tomorrow." He stated.

I watched him go and saw my fathers eyes fill with tears once again as he spoke.

"So many people love Billy. We're all pulling for him."

"He's always been so good to me. I wouldn't be back here if it weren't for him. I called him first. When I was still in Georgia. I didn't think he would even want to hear from me after everything I'd put Jacob through, but he did. We talked for a long time and what he said to me was a big part of the reason why I chose to come back here, dad."

"He's loved you from the moment you were born. He was the third person to hold you, you know?"

"Really?" I gasped, staring up at him in disbelief. "I never knew that."

"Yeah, he sure did. He thought you were a perfect mix of your mother and I. We used to spend a lot of time with them, back when you and Jacob were barely even thought of, we did so much with Billy and Sarah. They were there for us and we were there for them. Speaking of your mother, I should call her. She has a right to know about Billy. He's often called her and kept in touch. Even now."

"You definitely should let her know." I agreed as he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Renee.

I soon began to pace myself outside Billy's hospital room door, my prayers silent as I pleaded with the heavens above for him to pull through.

**A/N: Thank you for reading and for all your wonderful reviews. There will be a new chapter tomorrow.**


	44. Chapter 44

**CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR**

**(JPOV)**

I couldn't take my eyes from the vent that was now breathing for my father. Everything had happened so fast and I hadn't been ready. His health had always been an issue, but I'd never seen him this bad. I was going on almost two days with no sleep and it was starting to take a toll on me. My eyes were impossibly heavy but I didn't dare to close them. Not even for a few minutes of rest. I was too scared that if I did, he would die without me being there and I would never be able to get that time back with him. Never get another chance to say goodbye. I couldn't live with that.

Bella had stayed with me through every agonizing hour of watching him fade away and when the doctor came into the room with a grim expression, I knew what he was going to say before he'd even begun.

"Mr. Black, after running some further tests, we've discovered your father will need open heart surgery to repair some of the damage caused from the stroke. There's a blockage involving one of the main arteries and it needs to be tended to immediately. This is a major surgery."

My chest tightened and I felt Bella's hand squeeze mine as she stared up at the doctor with me.

"What does that mean?" I asked, feeling like an idiot when he began to flip through the many pages of my fathers chart at the foot of his hospital bed, his thick framed glasses sitting lower on his nose while he carefully studied it.

"Were you aware that your father had coronary artery disease?" He soon pointedly asked.

"No, he never mentioned anything like that to me."

"Well, according to some of his medical records from his primary care physician, he was diagnosed with it late last year. This disease is what causes a narrowing or a blockage of the coronary arteries. It's usually caused by atherosclerosis, also known as a hardening or a clogging of these arteries."

I stared back at him blankly, my mind racing over all the different doctor visits I'd taken Billy to in the past year. Not one time had he told me anything like this. "What causes it?"

"A number of things really. Poor diet can be one. Too much fat consumption. Not enough regular exercise."

"He's been confined to a wheelchair for years." I harshly bit back to him, my temper flaring at his insinuation.

Bella gently tugged on my arm, her eyes meeting mine when I sharply turned my head her way.

"Rest assured, that's not the only reason and I understand the difficulty of the situation, given your fathers physical limitations. Please, don't assume I was implying any kind of fault here. I'm only explaining some of the reasoning for his need of the surgery now."

I leaned forward, pulling out of Bella's grasp and looked toward my father. His color was so pale and I let my head fall, my throat tightening as I forced myself to say what we all feared to be true.

"He won't make it through a surgery like that, right? Is that why you came in here? To give me the facts and lay out my options?"

The doctor shrunk back some from the harshness in my tone, his sigh of defeat telling me that I was right.

"I know this is an extremely difficult time, but yes, unfortunately, your father is not a viable candidate for a surgery like that. In my medical opinion, it would be more than his weakened body could withstand."

"Then where does that leave him? What's next?" I asked, getting to my feet and looking out the large bay window toward the frosty morning just outside.

"To make him comfortable." He truthfully stated to me in reply.

I struggled to take another breath in, his words punching through me with palpable weight as I leaned against the wall next to me, my eyes stinging with the tears I thought I'd run out of hours ago now. I wanted someone to tell me this was all a bad fucking nightmare. That none of it was real. I wanted nothing more than for someone to tell me I'd been lied to. That none of this was true and happening right now. I couldn't speak or move, my head being thrown back into a place I hated. Back to the cold and terrified place of when my mom had been taken. I remember wanting only one thing back then... more time. Years later, here I was again, wanting the same damn thing. Why was that so fucking hard to get?

"Mr. Black?" The doctor soon hedged from behind me, but his words sounded muffled and unclear suddenly. I tried to focus on what he was saying, but all I could see was the pain, as it stretched itself out before me like a raging sea I was certain I'd drown in. Why did it have to be this way? Hadn't losing mom been enough? My heart pounded loudly in my ears while I continued to gaze out the window, my throat becoming so tight that it felt damn near closed. "We need to discuss his course of treatment from this point on. You are his next of kin."

I winced at the words that so casually left his mouth. Every one of them slicing me open in a new way.

"Standard procedure is to grant the wishes of the family in these cases. To make the patient as comfortable as we can and then to choose a date to cease any further life saving measures. Your father doesn't have a DNR. We've checked. That means, you have the right to choose what's best for him while he can't speak for himself."

I couldn't even swallow, my hands shaking as Bella's angered and desperate voice suddenly cut in.

"Is that really necessary right now? Can't we give him more time? See if his body heals and he turns around for the better?"

"A turn around of that nature at this point in time is highly unlikely." The doctor replied.

"He's only been here for two days."

"...and his body is slowly shutting down. His kidney function is dropping, and his vitals have not been consistently stable. I understand this is difficult." He stated to her. I cringed at how rehearsed it sounded, like he had said it at least half a dozen times to other families during his long overnight shift.

"Miracles happen. They do!" Bella cried, the sound of her tears making me turn around, as she went over to Billy and laid her head on his shoulder. "I know they do. Come on, Billy. Wake up and show these doctors they don't know you. They don't know the fighter you are. You're the reason I'm here. The reason I got on a plane and came back. Please don't go."

Tears ran down her face and matched my own when I forced out a reply to the doctor who was still waiting at his bedside.

"You want the bed, right? That's what this is really about, isn't it?"

I saw the stunned expression he wore when I approached him.

"Mr. Black, that isn't-..."

"I want you to leave me alone with my father now. Get out."

"Sir, I...-"

"I said get the hell out!" I yelled, earning the attention of several nurses and a security guard, as they collected at the door from the commotion I'd caused.

The doctor held out his hand to them when they stepped into the room, his blue eyes focused on mine, as he reached for the clipboard and stepped out of the room. I watched the others quickly follow suit after him, my gaze looking down the hall just as Charlie rounded the corner. He stopped short when he saw the state I was in, his voice penetrating through the chaos in my head when he stood in front of me.

"Son, hey... look at me. You alright?"

"They want me to unhook him." I numbly stated.

"What?" Charlie huffed, looking past me into the room. "Is that what the doctor said?"

"He needs open heart surgery and you and I both know that he won't survive that."

Charlie took firm hold of me by the shoulders then, his grip tight and grounding as he steered me his way and refocused my attention.

"Don't you count him out, yet. You hear me? Huh?"

"I didn't take good enough care of him-..."

"No, Jacob. You listen to me, son. Don't you dare blame yourself for this. You took on something that was bigger than any teenager should have to deal with and you did your dad proud. He tells anybody that will listen just how proud he is of you. Of the man you've become. He would never want you to think that."

"Did you know he had coronary artery disease? Did he tell you that?"

"No, but it doesn't surprise me that he kept something like that to himself if he did."

"Why-..."

Charlie sighed and pulled out further into the hall, the two of us sinking down into the few empty chairs there.

"You dad always felt guilty for making you take care of him when your sisters left. He wanted you to be young, Jacob. He didn't want to take anymore of that freedom from you. To him... he'd already taken enough over the past decade of your life. From the time you were barely fourteen, you stepped up for him and he loved you so much for it, but he felt bad, too. You have to understand that as parents, we feel it's our job to protect you guys and lighten the load if we can. Not the other way around."

"He was never a burden to me. I hate that he felt that way."

"When you become a dad someday. Trust me son, you'll look down into the innocent face of your child and you'll know exactly what he meant. What it feels like to love something so fiercely that you'd give your life for them in an instant. It's wonderful but it's damn terrifying. I think your dad just wanted you to be as carefree as you could. You can't fault him for that."

I nodded as he threw an arm around my shoulder and continued.

"Despite everything. All the craziness I just learned about, none of it changes what you and your family mean to me. You're like my own son, Jacob."

My vision blurred as I fought to regain my composure, my gaze soon catching sight of a familiar face standing at the nurses desk with a heavy suitcase in her hands. She turned my way when I slowly stood on unsteady legs. The heaviness of it all, making it feel as if I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Charlie stood beside me, his voice calling out to her first as she came running down the hall towards the two of us, her luggage long since forgotten in her haste to reach me. She ran until she was within arms reach, her timid and tear filled gaze going to mine when a sob left her.

"Rachel?"

I saw her pause there in the hall then, seeming unsure of herself and what my reaction to her would be after our heated conversation from before. I studied her face, seeing my mothers features etched in every part of her. From the way she moved, to the way her eyes were shaped. She'd always been the one to look more like my mother than Rebecca had and in this moment with her, after not seeing her for years, I didn't give a damn about our fight earlier. It didn't matter to me anymore. What mattered most was that she had come.

I took a step forward, seeing her tear stained cheeks and holding my arms out for her. She ran into them with a cry that echoed down the empty hospital hall.

"I'm so sorry, Jacob. I'm sorry."

I held onto her tightly and saw Charlie wipe away a lone tear as he took hold of Bella. All of us gathered there just outside of dads room for what we all feared would be a final goodbye.

**A/N: I know it's a heavy chapter, but thank you for reading and for all your truly wonderful reviews. This story is drawing to a close in the next five chapters. Just as a warning. There will be another update tomorrow. Till Next Time.**

**P.S. Song inspiration for this update brought to you by - Kodaline: Love Like This … Give it a listen :-)**


	45. Chapter 45

**CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE**

**(JPOV)**

Rachel stood just outside of dad's room, her eyes red rimmed when they looked my way.

"Is he responsive at all? Does he know when you're in there with him?"

"No, he hasn't been since Sue first brought him in two days ago." I regretfully told her.

"I can't believe how stupid I've been and how much time I've wasted. I can't remember the last time I even talked to him on the phone, Jacob."

"Last Christmas." I admitted, reminding her and seeing her face fall when she realized it had been almost a year since then.

"What's wrong with me? Why did I wait so long?" She cried, taking a few timid steps into the room.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close to me, my gaze going to dad as he laid there, his stillness making me feel as if we'd already lost him.

"Don't think about that. What matters is right now. You came, Rachel. He knows you're here. We have to believe that somehow, he can still hear us. I talk to him. All the time. You can, too. It's alright."

She slowly nodded and made her way closer to him, her hand taking hold of his and kissing his cheek when she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I'm here, daddy. I'm so sorry it took me so long, but I'm here now."

I stepped out of the room then and gave them the privacy they deserved, my back leaning against the closed door, as my eyes wandered toward Sam and Emily, who were standing at the nurses desk with large bouquets of flowers in their hands. They soon approached me with a forced and tired smile, their offered words of encouragement nice to hear.

"We bought these at the flower shop in town. Thought maybe his room could use some life and color? The pack signed the card and they all want you to have it, Jacob. I sent them out on patrol an hour ago. I had to." Sam sighed, handing me the first bouquet and card.

"I understand, Sam. Thanks for stepping in for me right now."

"Of course." He replied, looking to Emily who reached out and pulled me into a hug.

"I wish there was more we could do for him."

"Me too." I softly admitted, releasing her back to Sam and taking the second bushel of flowers.

"Is Rachel in there with him now?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, she just barely sat down with him."

"I'm so glad she made it in time, Jacob." She thoughtfully replied. "Where's Bella and Charlie?"

"I asked her to go back to the reservation with him and get me a set of clean clothes. They should be back soon. Tried to talk her into getting a few hours of sleep but she wouldn't agree to it."

"Can you blame her? She wants to be here for you." Emily sighed, drawing herself in close to Sam.

"I know, but there's nothing she can do. There's nothing anyone can do. We're just stuck here waiting." I forced out, hating how helpless this whole thing seemed.

Sam nodded and placed a kiss into Emily's hair with a thoughtful glance toward the closed door ahead of us.

"Has the doctor been back in yet?"

"No, I think he's scared to even seen me. Probably afraid that I'll cause another damn scene."

"In his line of work, I'm sure he's familiar with emotions running high." Sam stated.

I simply shrugged and set the two large bouquets on the floor next to me, my body feeling utterly drained.

"Do you think maybe Rebecca will come back, too?" Emily softly inquired.

"I doubt it. Both Rachel and I have tried calling her. She never answers. Nothing new there. This would tear mom apart if she were still here. Everything being so separated the way it's been all this time. She would've never wanted it this way."

"...but she's here now." Sam countered.

I went mute then when I caught a glimpse of Paul coming out of the waiting room with an envelope in his left hand. He gave both Emily and Sam a weary glance before pulling me aside and holding it out to me.

"So, I kept the Alpha's Fire open till eight this morning. A few hours after last call. We had a decent turn out for Billy there. It was really nice to see how so much of the reservation came together like they did on such short notice. I called everyone I could think of, bro. They all came in with donations for him and for you. I know it's not much, but we tried to rally together and pull in enough to at least cover the cost of his hospital stay. Final count was just over two thousand, and I knew that wouldn't be enough to put a dent in some of the bill so I put a little more with it. Please take this."

I stared back at him in disbelief, my hand carefully taking the bulging white envelope from him and opening it to see the money he'd gathered and placed in there.

"Paul, I can't-" I began, my eyes widening all the more when I saw the stack of hundreds added to the end of the large pile of cash now in my hand. There had to be well over three thousand dollars here.

"Please take it, Jacob. You and Billy are my family, too. The only real family I've ever known." He truthfully stated.

"...but this is... You took some of this from your own money-"

"Doesn't matter."

"It does." I countered, tucking the money back in the envelope and meeting his gaze when he put a firm hand on my shoulder.

"You're my brother. This is what family does. Even if our blood says otherwise." He clarified, pushing the money toward me again before he started to turn to leave.

"Paul-..." I forced out, the growing lump in my throat making it hard for me to speak at all right now. "You are family to me. Regardless of blood. You are my brother. Thank you for this. Really."

He nodded once in return, his steps halting when the door to dads room slowly swung open and Rachel stepped out, her hands quickly wiping away her tears as she turned toward us. S-sorry-... I didn't mean to interrupt."

"It's okay." I assured her, seeing the curious look in her gaze as she stared up at Paul, who looked like someone had stolen his ability to move or breathe. He stared back at her in complete awe. Like he'd never laid eyes on any other woman before her. He didn't flinch or budge as she continued to gaze at him. She soon nervously reached her hand out his way, her words shaky with emotion still when she spoke.

"Hi, I'm Rachel."

Paul took a step closer, his eyes fixed on her face and the newly smitten look her wore, causing me to pause there between the two of them as recognition struck me. I shook my head and nudged him, trying to get his attention back, while my sister stood there waiting with her trembling hand outstretched to him.

"This is my older sister." I spoke, the sound of my voice seeming to snap him out of the momentary trance he'd been previously locked in. "I don't think you two have met before?"

"N-No, I-I don't think so." Paul finally replied, taking her hand in his and not letting it go. "Uh- I-I'm Paul. Paul Lahote."

"Nice to meet you, Paul." Rachel stammered, the two of them unable to look away from each other. I shot a knowing glance to Sam and he merely offered me a half smile and a nod of understanding. Both he and Emily had been privy to their moment as well and he knew what was happening. Just like I did. I had to admit, the timing of it all couldn't have been worse, but seeing the look on Paul's face while he continued to stare at my sister like she were the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on, gave me an odd and unexpected sense of hope. As if maybe, just maybe, all was not lost and something good could somehow come out of this brokenness.

Rachel pulled her hand out of his and I saw the look of disappointment cross Paul's face when she shrunk back closer to me. "He didn't respond to me, but I talked to him. Like you said to."

"Good." I sighed, meeting her glossy gaze. "He loves you Rach. You know that."

She slowly nodded and looked down at the envelope still clutched tightly in my hand. "What is that?"

"It's family." I replied, looking to Paul who still appeared like he was struggling to even remain upright.

That's what an imprint did to you. Stole your very breath and knocked your knees out from under you. It left you tied to a whole new sense of meaning on this earth. You existed with a whole new purpose.

Rachel took the envelope from me and opened it, her gasp loud when she saw the money it held. "I don't understand? How-?"

I drew in a steadying breath and explained it to her, as she handed it back to me with a confused look.

"Paul owns the local bar in town. The Alpha's Fire."

"Yeah, I passed by there earlier. That's yours?" She inquisitively asked him.

Paul only nodded, his gaze going to me with a silent plea in his eyes.

"He owns it, Rach. It's his. Done a fine job with it, too." I added. "He opened the place up at midnight last night. Rallied in all he could from the town and the Reservation to show support for dad."

I felt Rachel pull away from me, her eyes going to Paul while I continued.

"This is all the money they raised. For the hospital bill. He did it for us."

She didn't hesitate to go to him then, her arms wrapping around his neck with a cry of gratitude.

"Thank you so much, Paul."

I watched him become frozen where he stood while she held onto him, his arms carefully taking hold of her like she were made of blown glass and returning her sudden embrace with a stunned gasp. I saw how he became nervous and how he secured her petite frame to his like she were precious and irreplaceable, because in the blink of an eye, that's exactly what my sister had become to him. The hug was longer than expected and Paul rose his head to meet my gaze. His eyes full of a love I knew all too well. I gave him a nod and he tightened his hold on her, the two of them soon becoming completely oblivious to the rest of us standing close by. There were lost in their own little world.

"You're welcome, Rachel." Paul offered to her. His tone as soft with her as I'd ever heard it be with anyone else before.

Had someone told me years ago that Paul Lahote would end up imprinting on my sister, I would have told that person that they were crazy and the very idea would've pissed me off, but that was a much different time. Paul wasn't the selfish and arrogant hotheaded teenager he once was. He'd grown, matured and changed entirely since his first phase. He was far more levelheaded and humble these days. Life's experiences had forced him to change some of his less than admirable qualities from the past and the guy who was currently hugging my sister, was someone I was proud to call my brother, my alliance and my family. He was someone I would've chosen for her myself if given the chance.

I was suddenly torn from my thoughts when the sound of a hoarse and barely audible voice called out to me from behind the half opened door. "Jacob."

Rachel released Paul and met my disbelieving gaze as we ran back into the room. The two of us nearly stumbling over each other when dad reached out for Rachel first, his eyes now open and her cries echoing out around us when she threw her arms around him and hugged him tight.

"Daddy!"

I felt a hand touch my shoulder and I turned to see Paul and Sam standing there next to me, both of them staring down at my father with same shocked expression I wore.

Life had a funny way of turning the tide back around, just when you needed it the most.

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the kind and wonderful reviews. I truly hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Till Next Time...**


	46. Chapter 46

**CHAPTER FORTY-SIX**

**(JPOV)**

Rachel didn't leave dads side as the nurses rushed around the room, taking his vitals and seeing how responsive he was. He reached out for my hand when I turned to address one of them.

"How is he?"

"We have to wait till the doctor gets here and properly checks him over before we can know for sure."

"But the fact he's awake is a good sign, right?" I hedged, feeling dad lightly squeeze my hand and grow restless with the ventilator.

"Sir, were going to remove that for you now that you're breathing on your own." The nurse quickly stated, giving another woman beside her instructions on how to aid her with the vent removal. Rachel and I stepped back, closely watching their movements as they detached the vent and dad coughed, trying to draw in a fresh lungful of air with a desperate gasp. The nurses helped position him better in the bed, and offered him a drink of water, before letting us know that the doctor would be in soon to see us.

Rachel ran back over to him, taking his face in her trembling hands and kissing him on the cheek.

"I'm so glad you're awake."

"I missed you so much." Dad hoarsely replied to her, his tired gaze looking between the two of us now. "How long have I been in here?"

"Almost three days." I replied.

Billy's eyes went wide at this and he motioned for me to come closer.

"That must have given you both a scare. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, dad. Don't worry about that. How do you feel?" I asked, placing a hand on his arm and relishing in the quiet of the room. No more machines always beeping and keeping time with his heart now.

"Exhausted. I can't remember much. Who brought me in here?"

"Sue." I stated, seeing him look around the room for her. "She's on her way back from the Reservation with Charlie and Bella. She met them at the house to bring in some of your things."

"That was nice of her. I hope I didn't give her a real scare, too?"

"You gave us all a fright, daddy. We were scared we were going to lose you." Rachel tearfully admitted, laying her head on his shoulder with a sigh.

"I'm still here you two. I don't plan on going anywhere." He replied, stroking Rachels hair and meeting my gaze. "How are you, son? You okay?"

"Yeah." I forced out, my throat tightening and my eyes stinging. I looked away from them and tried to regain my composure, as I thought of how I feared I would never hear his voice call to me again.

"Jacob, son. Come here."

I fought the tears that refused to quit and approached his bedside.

"I'm alright, dad." I tried to convince him but he shook his head and pulled me forward.

"It's okay to not be okay, sometimes." He sighed, his eyes filling with tears, as he drew me into his side with Rachel for a family hug. "You've taken such good care of me all this time. No matter what happens, I never want you to think that you let me down. I'm so damn proud of you. Of the both of you. There's not a single thing in this life that I treasure more than you kids. Every time I look at you, Rachel, I see your mama. The older you get, the more of her spitting image you become, and Jacob, you have her heart, her loyalty and passion. I'm sorry I frightened you both these past few days, but I hope you always know just how much I love you. If Rebecca were here, I'd tell her the same."

My tears ran steadily down my cheeks as Rachel wrapped an arm around me, her eyes wandering over my face when she gingerly lifted her hand and touched my cheek. "I should've come back a long time ago. I shouldn't have left the two of you alone like that. I'm sorry. Please, forgive me?"

I nodded and drew in a steadying breath as we all sat there, lost in a moment we hadn't experienced as a true family since mom was taken from us. I hadn't realized just how damn much I'd missed my older sister until now.

I met her gaze and she saw the weary expression I wore when she wiped a few of my tears away. It brought me back to when I was just a mere boy and she used to do the same. On the nights when I'd wake up screaming for mom after dreaming of her, Rachel had always been there. She'd been the strong one after mom had passed and I still loved her for it.

"I'm staying right here. I promise you both. I'm not going back. This is where I belong." She whispered, looking to dad with a smile.

"...but you have classes and College to finish." Dad softly protested.

"They can wait, daddy. It all can just wait. I think it's time I spent the holidays with my family here in Washington."

Dad's face broke into a heart stopping smile and I couldn't help but grin myself at the sincere sight of his happiness when he hugged us both tightly to him. "I think that sounds like a wonderful idea."

The doctor peeked his head in then and noticed us all huddled on the bed, his eyes widening some when my father greeted him.

"Well, hello doc." He casually stated to the man in the thick framed glasses who stood just inside the door with a clipboard in his hands.

"Hello Mr. Black." He replied. "I'm Dr. Sharp. I've been the one overseeing your chart. Can you tell me how you're feeling?"

Billy grinned at the man standing before him and tugged us both closer again.

"I'm doing just fine, doc. Have two of my kids here with me. What more could a guy ask for?"

The doctor cleared his throat and thumbed through the thick chart with raised eyebrows.

"I won't lie. I'm a bit shocked to see you so responsive. Even your color is better. Are you having any pain?"

"Nope, feeling as fit as a fiddle." Billy assure him as I pulled away and met the doctors alarmed gaze.

"Thank you for taking such good care of our dad." Rachel softly commended him, her hand shaking his with true gratitude.

"You're welcome. I really can't take the credit here. We've been closely monitoring your father the past few days and we've tried to keep him comfortable and manage his pain, but I'm stunned at his sudden recovery. It leaves me a little baffled to be very honest with you, and I've been practicing medicine for twenty-two years now. Never encountered such a dramatic improvement like this. Mr. Black-..."

"Oh, please, don't worry about the needless formalities. You can just call me Billy." Dad thoughtfully insisted.

"Okay... Billy. When you were brought in here, you had just had a major stroke. You had no function on the left side of your body and you were unresponsive. So to call your sudden turn around for the better a mystery, would be a vast understatement to say the least. More like a miracle if I dare say so." He humbly admitted, looking between Rachel and I with half a smile playing on his tired face. "In this line of work, we see a lot of the bad and the awful, so it's real nice to see a happier ending like this one play out every once in a while. You will still need to be monitored in her for the next twenty-four hours and we will need to lay out a treatment plan for your heart. Coronary Artery Disease is certainly nothing to mess with sir. You'll need a drastic change in diet and more routine exercise at home."

I saw Billy's face fall with guilt when he looked to Rachel and I upon hearing this. "So you two know about that?"

"Yeah, dad." I replied, unable to hide the clear disappointment in my tone with him. "Why didn't you tell me about it months ago? We could've prevented some of this."

"You've taken care of me long enough and you're still young, son. You have your whole damn life ahead of you, and it's about time that you got the chance to enjoy it the way you truly want to instead of being stuck always worrying about your old man."

I crossed the room and leaned in close to him, my hand firmly taking hold of his own with my fierce reply.

"You are not a burden to me, dad. Stop thinking that way. I want to be here and I want to take care of you. Alright? No more secrets? Please?"

"Okay, son. I'm sorry."

The doctor quickly checked dads vitals then while Rachel and I stood close by. He made sure there was no congestion in his lungs before jotting down a few more notes and promising to return in a little while with the cardiologist.

It wasn't long before Charlie came running in, his hurried pace causing him to nearly knock over the large vases full of flowers that were close to dads bedside.

"Billy?" Charlie huffed, his voice quavering with emotion as he stood there looking as if he too couldn't believe it. "Sam just told me, but I didn't think-... I mean, when I left you were-... -you're really awake!?"

I took hold of Rachels hand and nodded toward the door. She took the silent hint and we left the two of them alone so they could have the time they needed together.

We soon joined the others in the waiting room, who were all still anxiously awaiting for another update, some of them pacing back and forth in front of the nurses station.

Paul was the first to head for us, his breathing heavy when he looked to Rachel. "Is he really okay? What did they doctor say?"

"They have more tests to do and he needs treatment for his heart condition, but the doctor seemed stunned at his recovery. Called it miraculous." I sighed, taking note of how Paul's gaze lingered on my sister.

"That's awesome. I'm so happy for you both."

"Thanks, bro. For everything you did. I mean it. I could never repay that-"

"I'd never want you to. I know you'd be there for me in the same way." Paul replied.

I nodded and felt Rachel shiver next to me, her eyes heavy from a lack of sleep as she swayed on her feet.

"I could go for a fresh cup of coffee." She yawned, glancing up at Paul, as he took off his jacket and draped it over her petite shoulders.

"Here, it is kind of chilly in here. I can go to the cafeteria and get you a cup? If you want?" He offered.

"Maybe we could go get some together? Care to come with?" Rachel nervously asked.

"I'd love to." Paul eagerly accepted.

They wandered down the hall together toward the elevator, and I saw Rachel pause there as she looked back my way, her timid gaze seeking for some kind of assurance from me while they waited for the elevator doors to open. I gave her a nod and a smile, and she returned it with one of her beaming grins. Something I hadn't seen from her since she were a teenager. It made my heart warm and I couldn't help but chuckle at the irony of it all.

"I can't tell you how happy I am that he's awake." Sam sighed, taking a long haul from his coffee and watching as Paul and Rachel disappeared into the elevator. "...and who the hell would have ever thought those two-?"

"Yeah, I know. Not in a million years, bro. Of all the women in La'Push. He imprints on my sister."

"I gotta' say, I thought I was bad when I first imprinted on Emily, but he's got it real bad. He looks like a lost puppy whenever she disappears from his sight." Sam chuckled, as we turned and headed back toward Billy's room.

My eyes scanned the many faces, checking the nurses station and pausing there when Sam voiced my exact thought before I could.

"Where's Bella?"

I looked down the long hall and out through the glass windows framing the entrance, my chest beginning to tighten when I saw no sign of her close by.

"I thought she was out here with all of you?"

"No, we thought she was in the room with you and Rachel. We assumed she went ahead of Charlie once they returned? You haven't seen her at all? Where's Charlie now?"

"He's still in with my father." I stated, reaching in my back pocket and glancing down at my cell. There were no missed calls or texts from her.

Sam saw the worry on my face when I met his gaze again and he began to look for her.

"Don't panic. Maybe she went back to the house for something? Her house?"

"She would have texted, Sam. It's not like her. Especially right now. With everything that's happened with dad. She wouldn't disappear without letting me know like that."

Emily approached us then, her smile of relief fading when she saw the look I wore.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Have you seen Bella at all?" Sam inquired.

"No, not since she left a while ago with Charlie. Isn't she in with he and Billy?"

I shook my head and dialed Bella's number, hearing the greeting of her voicemail immediately pick up and feeling my heart begin to pound. I half jogged back to dads room and pulled Charlie aside, my voice low with him so I wouldn't worry my father.

"Where's Bella?"

"She said she had an errand to run. Dropped me off at the front entrance with your things and took off. I tried to ask her when she would be back or where the hell she was going, but she seemed pretty tight lipped about the whole thing. Figured it was something she was doing for you."

I dialed her again when he told me this and still got nothing, my skin beginning to heat and my body becoming rigid as her cell repeatedly went to voicemail.

Something was wrong. I could feel it in my bones.

**A/N: Thank you for the kind and wonderful reviews! HAPPY READING! Till Next Time! :-)**


	47. Chapter 47

**CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN**

**(JPOV)**

Bella was nowhere to be found and as the day drew to an end, I was beginning to lose my shit entirely. She'd been gone for almost eight hours now and no one could reach her. Charlie had headed out earlier in the afternoon with his cruiser and had updated me every hour since, but there was still no sign of her or her whereabouts. When dad had finally fallen asleep, and the doctor had assured me that he was stable for the rest of the night and just needed more rest now, I'd rushed out of the hospital and headed straight for the woods. My only hope of finding where she was now left to my senses and our shared connection through the pack mind.

I could hardly breathe as I let the heated tremors lick steadily up my spine and spread out through the rest of my body, my howl loud when I landed on all fours and took off on a dead run toward La'Push. I kept my nose to the ground, trying to pick up any sign of her scent, but there was none and with every mile I ran, the ache in my chest only got worse.

I couldn't explain the feeling I had. Couldn't put words to how I knew she wasn't okay.

I could see it on the faces of some of the pack, their expressions of worry swiftly changing into ones of pity, as the night approached and she still hadn't shown back up. I didn't have to ask them to know what they were thinking... that she'd taken off again. Changed her mind when stuff got hard and hightailed it back to Georgia, back to the Cullen's, but I knew better. I knew she wouldn't do that to me. Not after everything we'd shared since she had first arrived back in Washington. The voice in my head told me to stick to my gut instincts and try to pick up on her scent, but when I reached my house, it was pitch black inside. She wasn't in there and nothing smelled of her. My chest tightened and my heart sank as I phased back and ran inside, yelling for her as I pushed open the front door.

"Bella!"

The eerie silence made me cringe as I looked around, going from room to room and halting my steps when I saw the sweatshirt of mine she'd been wearing at the hospital now laying in a heap on the bedroom floor. I snatched it up in my shaking hands and inhaled her scent, the weakened aroma of it telling me she'd taken it off hours ago, but that she'd been here at some point.

"Where are you, sweetheart." I breathed into the emptiness of the room, tossing the sweatshirt down onto the bed.

That's when I saw it, the flashing lights of Charlie's cruiser just outside the window, my whole body tensing when I saw him climb out and head for the porch. His steps were slow and the very way he carried himself made my stomach painfully churn. I rounded the corner and threw open the door before his knuckles even had a chance to grace the warn wood, his empty and haunted eyes meeting mine when he raised his head.

The look on his face made me want to scream as he gripped the porch railing tightly, his entire body appearing to cave in on itself when he tried to speak.

"Charlie-..." I choked out to him, my voice sounding unrecognizable while I held his gaze.

"I-I found her truck." He hoarsely stated.

"Where?" I countered, stepping out toward him and ready to bolt for whatever destination he gave me.

"Two miles outside of Forks. Just off the highway." He replied, as I pushed past him, halting abruptly when he caught my arm and roughly pulled me back. His broken words forcing me to turn around and face him. "Wait...- Jake...-She's not there."

I stared back at him in confusion, his eyes filling with unshed tears as he tried to continue.

"What? Where is she!?"

"We found the truck wrapped around a tree. She wasn't in it. I've got every officer from here to Port Angeles in the woods looking for her."

I tried to process what he was saying, but all I could see was my mothers face in my head. I felt numb as I pulled back from him, my skin heating like a furnace as my tremors crept back in.

"How bad?"

Charlie refused to look at me then, his gaze adverting my own as he glanced toward his cruiser. The sound of his choked one word reply being the last thing I heard, before I sprinted for the dense tree cover and phased.

"Bad."

I flew through the forest, hearing all the others phase in one after another. I crossed paths with Sam just as I reached the Forks border, the trail I was on now drenched in her scent and. It's rustic tinge making me push myself harder, as Sam's thoughts filtered though.

_"I've got Paul, Embry, Quil, and Jared all circling back toward Charlie's place. Their gonna start looking for her there, first. Maybe she's familiar enough with that trail to go that way on her own?"_

_"She's been out here for hours. We have to find her. She's bleeding."_

Adrenaline coursed through my veins and Sam struggled to keep up as I followed her scent, the sight of her red truck making me pick up my speed all the more. I skidded to a stop just inches from it's mangled mess. The hood was pushed up over the windshield and glass was scattered all through the empty cab. My wolf gaze trailed over the blood that covered the steering wheel and seats, it's thick reddish brown tint letting Sam and I know that it was drying and not fresh anymore. I let out a whine, and tried to stop the images of my own mothers funeral from coming back to my mind, but they were relentless.

_"Jacob, we'll find her. Come on." _Sam fiercely hedged, pushing roughly into my side and leading us down another well known trail that would eventually come out to Charlie's back yard. I'd taken this same trail it dozens of times to get to Bella. I knew it like the back of my hand and could navigate it with my damn eyes closed if I had to. We were only half a mile in when the sickeningly sweet and rancid stench struck us hard in the face. We slowed our run, the potency of it making us both huff profusely and whip our heads sharply around in search of the source.

"_More than one." _I angrily stated to Sam, my muzzle pulling back over my teeth and my ears laid back, as the wind picked up and carried the offending stench closer to us.

_"Definitely more than just one. A scent that potent could only come from a clan. It's not familiar. Doesn't belong to the Cullen's."_

_"No- it's not. It's something else."_ I replied. "Something much larger than they are."

_"Tell me what the hell we're dealing with here, Jake!"_ Sam growled my way, his fur standing up on end as he uneasily looked around.

_"It's them. The Volturi."_ I furiously roared in reply, as a white hot rage gripped me. "_They've done this."_

_"We're not ready for an attack of that size."_

_"Well, ready or not. Their already here. They have her."_

**A/N: Be sure to check for the next update! Did two of them back to back! :-) HAPPY READING! **


	48. Chapter 48

**CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT**

**(JPOV)**

**Three Weeks Later...**

I stared numbly into the fire blazing ahead of me as my father and Charlie talked in the other room. Their low tones easy for me to hear while they both discussed what the new course of direction was for our starting point in the morning. I no longer knew what sleep or rest was anymore. I hadn't experienced either in weeks. Sam and I had searched tirelessly with the rest of the pack for Bella until sheer exhaustion had forced us all to stop.

I saw her everywhere I looked. She was with me all the time. Day or night. Every corner I turned and every time I closed my eyes, she was there, calling out to me and pleading with me to find her. The only few fleeting hours I managed to find some sort of rest were full of the kind of nightmares that would leave me screaming for her. She was in my every waking hour and I ached for her in such a tangible way that every part of my body physically hurt. I couldn't eat, nothing appealed to me and the few times I tried, it always came back up.

I was losing my mind without her. I needed her like the very next breath I took.

My father had been back home for nearly two weeks now and he was trying to be there the best he could, but he was still recovering himself. He had called in all his resources from the council and the elders to help look for her, to aid us in rallying enough numbers together to stand against whatever war we knew was coming for us sooner rather than later. Sam still had hope that she was being held somewhere right under our noses, that the Volturi hadn't taken her back to Italy with them. I was fucking fed up with waiting and hoping. Everything in me was pulling me away from La'Push. She wasn't here anymore. They'd been toying with us from the start. Darting in and out of Forks and leaving pieces of her torn clothing for us to find while we were out searching. The first time, I'd been the one to stumble across a fresh scent of her, and it had torn me in half when it turned out to be nothing more than a damn ruse to get us confused and running in circles after her.

Rachel had stayed with us at home, just like she'd promised she would and she had been there for dad when I couldn't be, her words of hope to me always encouraging but often falling on deaf ears when she spoke them.

"You'll find her, Jacob. I just know you will. It's going to be okay. You have to believe that. Bella is a fighter and so are you."

Charlie's exhaustion nearly matched my own some days. He didn't sleep or even function right anymore. Often going days without eating or going back home because the emptiness of the house without her there felt unbearable to him. I knew exactly how he felt.

I kept myself in the woods more days than not, running in wolf form and keeping my guard up for anything that came my way.

When midnight struck, I put out the fire and gripped my chest, the familiar ache from before, now returning with a soul crushing throb for what I knew would be another sleepless night for me without her. I was trying to fight against the urge of abandoning the others and taking off for Volterra by myself, but Sam had seen this thought and immediately shut it down, his worried words ringing out clear in my head.

"You can't go alone! You'll get yourself killed! We go together or we don't go at all! I know you want to find her, but I want the both of you alive! It has to be that way because it's the safest choice we have right now!"

What he didn't know was that I was already dead inside without her anyway. If we didn't get to her soon, and they fulfilled their promise to her from years ago, then they would be doing me favor in ending my suffering.

I didn't want to be on this earth without her. I couldn't and I wouldn't. She was the reason I breathed. What I fucking lived for. I felt torn in half every time I'd see the sunrise of a new day and she wasn't with me.

I'd kept count of the days since she'd gone missing. Today marked day twenty-three and when the house was filled with darkness and the silence surrounded me, I'd stop fighting the choking lump in my throat and let the angry tears fall.

My eyes were heavy as I laid down on dads couch, staring blankly up at the ceiling and seeing the moonlights glow above me. I could still feel her and I knew that meant she was still alive, still breathing, but the more time that went on without her, the more I feared that would change.

She'd take me with her.

I would never come back from it.

She had my whole heart and my soul. They had always belonged to her. I had always belonged to her.

My sleep was restless and I soon awoke with a start, my skin covered in sweat as I gasped her name and reached for the empty pillow next to me.

"Bells."

I blinked and felt the stinging fire trickle down my arm as I got to my feet and ran outside, desperate for the frigid air to touch my heated skin. I staggered forward, leaning my back against dad's wheelchair ramp and staring up at the night sky.

"I'm not giving up on you, honey. You know I'm coming for you. I promise."

I winced then as the fire I felt before suddenly went to the other arm, my eyes peering down to see the heavy ink now prominently there in a tattoo that ran from my bicep to my inner wrist. I stared at it in shock, shaking my head and rubbing my eyes, thinking it was merely from my days on end without sleep, but the longer I looked at it, the more detailed it became.

What the hell was happening to me?

**A/N: ahhh! Huge cliffy I know! But I have some pretty awesome news! I will be posting a PART TWO to this story starting this week! Look for "Alpha's Harvest," in the next few days! Thank you so much everyone for all your wonderful reviews and I look forward to hearing from you! :-)**


	49. Chapter 49

**CHAPTER FORTY-NINE**

**(BPOV)**

I hadn't seen it coming, the sickly sweet and obnoxious smell filled my senses only moments before the red irises appeared in the road ahead of me. I swerved sharply to avoid it, my truck tires dragging harshly on the asphalt below when I slammed on the brakes and hit the base of the tree just ahead. The impact threw me forward into the steering wheel and I could taste the blood that pooled in my mouth, as black spots filled my vision. I struggled to get free from the tight confines of the seat belt with a cry and soon shoved open the door, half falling out onto the cold ground below while I crawled away from the smashed up truck.

My body shook with tremors as I tried to get up when the sound of a hiss made my blood run cold. I knew he was there, my gaze barely catching a glimpse of him for just long enough for who he was to register in my mind seconds before I'd crashed into the tree. I watched the blood stain the fallen leaves under me as it dripped from my face in a steady flow, my vision blurring and my skin feeling as if it was on fire when his red irises met mine again. The black cloak he wore covering the rest of his porcelain face when he spoke my name.

"Isabella, how I've been waiting for this sweet reunion."

I shuddered violently from his words, my body immersed in so much pain right now that I could hardly choke out the next breath. The name on my lips sounding almost inaudible.

"Jacob."

"Should I be offended that our last encounter didn't mean enough to you that you would remember my name?" He mercilessly taunted, while I drug myself as far as I could, before the gust of wind from his sudden approach surrounded me and he was mere inches from my face. "I've come to get what is owed to me. To collect a debt that has been long since due and seemingly ignored. I am not a patient man."

He took hold of me roughly then, his touch alone enough to break bones as he yarded me forwarded and stuck me with something. I barely saw the needle before the darkness took hold and left me at his mercy and whim.

I didn't know how may days had gone by when I came to, my head pounding as I squinted against the dim light in front of me. My lids felt impossibly heavy and I knew he'd drugged me with something powerful enough to keep me nearly paralyzed, but I could still hear everything going on around me.

The voice that was closest made me want to scream.

"She's been out for almost a week. How much did you give her?! We had a deal!" Edward hissed furiously.

"Aro was clear with his instructions for her and you'd be wise to watch your tone."

"He swore he wouldn't harm her, Felix!"

"You made him an offer and he took you up on it. Did you really expect anything different? For some reason, seems Aro has a fascination with you and Alice to join us. I, however, don't think we need either one of you, but he disagrees with me. You were the one who made the proposition that in exchange for your said loyalty, you wanted Bella here with you."

"I understand my part in the arrangement, but he didn't test this before he used it. With her elevated temperature, she could have had some kind of adverse reaction. She's new to phasing. That dose could end up doing far more than erasing her ability to do so! It very well could end up killing her!"

"Aro doesn't make mistakes. Only new members for our coven to grow here in Volterra. His cocktail will work." Felix angrily insisted.

"If the traces of venom doesn't stop her heart, first. That was never part of the plan." Edward replied, his smooth voice sounding haunted, as I struggled to believe what they were saying.

He'd been part of this whole thing. Helped the Volturi trap me and cause that accident. This was his way of assuring that Jacob and I never had a future together, that he could keep me for himself. I'd been a fool to think he'd let me go and this was what I got for it.

"What are you so worried about? If she dies, then the way I see it, that mutt of hers won't come looking and it'll be less headache for you!"

Edward hissed as the sound of a heavy door slamming closed made my eyes fly open wide. He hurriedly leaned over me, his golden gaze looking me over closely, as he cradled my face. I flinched away from his touch, gathering enough strength to sit up and look around. I was in a large study of some kind, the only light coming from the fire across the way. I fought against Edwards tight hold. "It's alright, love. I know you're afraid, but I promise it will be okay."

"What have you done!?" I shrieked, pounding my hands against his concrete chest. "Let go of me!"

"Stop struggling! I did this for us. For our love to be what it was meant for. Eternal and forever."

Heat coursed through me and I embraced it, the familiar feeling making me remember that I wasn't the weak Bella he'd always known. I shoved him back, the force stunning us both as he stared wide eyed at me from across the oversized room.

"You did this!? You caused my truck to crash!"

"I would never hurt you on purpose!" He adamantly defended his actions.

"Stop lying to me! I was awake for your conversation with Felix. So, I know exactly what you did!"

His features went cold and his golden gaze took on a blackened hue as he hissed to me in return.

"I did what had to be done and when it is all said and over, you'll thank me. They should all be destroyed."

I felt my whole body go numb as I lifted my head and looked at the stranger who glared at me now.

"What are you saying? Who deserves to be destroyed, Edward?"

"The Quileute's of course. All of them. Even your precious Jacob. It's time they met their end and we had reign. That treaty was a joke from the start. Foolish for Carlisle to even agree to it all those years ago."

"No!" I gasped to him in horror. "You wouldn't. You're not that cruel."

"He should have left well enough alone. He knew his place and he crossed a line when he took you from me."

"Jacob didn't take me from you."

"You are my wife! We took vows! For better or worse, remember!?"

"Edward, please!" I begged him, hastily getting to my feet and feeling the room spin. He took hold of me with a sinister smile playing on his lips.

"You're in no condition to be on your feet."

"What did you drug me with!? Tell me! Why can't I phase anymore?" I demanded, as the tears welled before him.

"Something that would turn fate back to the way it should be. When you were with me. We can make a real life here Bella. Alice will be joining us soon. It will be a whole new start for everyone. Well, not for Jacob, of course."

"You're going to kill him...-" I cried, my tears running down my heated cheeks.

"No, on the contrary. Seems that Aro has plans for him. He's very intrigued with the wolves. He believes that he will be of great use to him. Given his strength and abilities."

I shuddered at the images his comments brought forth, as I thought of Aro holding Jacob here as a prisoner and slaughtering the rest of the pack in a bloodbath.

"Leave him alone. He doesn't have anything to do with my promise to Aro. Let them all be."

"It's out of my hands. I did my part and kept my end of the bargain, now the rest is up to Volturi." Edward coldly countered. "He's not coming for you. Don't waist your precious time hoping that he'll save you. After Aro's done with him and the others, he'll be lucky if he can save himself."

"You can take everything from me, but I will never love you, Edward. I love Jacob. You can't change that."

His eyes went into slits as he approached me so fast that I didn't even have time to blink before his nose touched mine from his closeness.

"Well, that's a real shame, cause you'll be loving a dead man. The plans Aro has for him, will make him wish he were just that. He tells me that he's going to be his guard. Much the same as Felix, only with better abilities and without the hunger for human blood. Jacob will hunt down the innocent and kill those who Aro demands him to, or he'll suffer dearly from his refusal. It will be his choice."

I couldn't speak as he slowly backed away from me, my body trembling from his promised threat that I knew Aro had every intention of carrying out.

"You're wrong, you know?" I soon whispered, seeing him turn back and look my way with curiosity in his gaze. "You underestimate him. All of you do and you'll pay for it. You made two serious mistakes with your plan, Edward. You should have left me for dead in the woods, at least then you would have had a real chance of making it. Of not becoming nothing more than ash when he destroys you. Now, you've started something that can't be stopped and even if you win this one battle, you won't win the war."

The two of us stayed locked in a deadly glare, the boldness in me rising up and pushing me forward, as I thought of what lengths I knew Jacob would cross to get me back.

**_To Be Continued..._**

**A/N: Thank you for reading and please leave a review! You are all AWESOME! :-) **


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